


Finding Love (and other cures for life’s misfortunes)

by mansikka



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: AU, Adorable dorks, Angst, Anxiety, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Love, M/M, Malec, NSFW, Past Relationship Abuse, Scared Magnus Bane, Self-Doubt, Slow Burn, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Worried Magnus Bane, soft boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-02 00:14:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 139,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16294655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mansikka/pseuds/mansikka
Summary: Sometimes, people walk into your life when you least expect it, turning your world upside down in the very best of ways to make you feel at home in your own skin. Mornings are kinder, evenings are softer, and every moment of your day is filled with this feeling of contentment that you only thought existed for other people.This is how Magnus feels about Alec, who came for tea and stayed for everything else, who makes Magnus' heart skip even when they aren't together, and leaves Magnus feeling like the best version of himself. They slot together so easily, that it's impossible to imagine anything that might break them apart. Besides insecurities, whispers of a life lived unloved, and a past that seems determined to take from Magnus everything he's made of himself, of course.Can he hold on to everything that's become so important to him, or was he doomed to fail from the start?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [My Tumblr readers!](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=My+Tumblr+readers%21).



> Hello :)
> 
> Here is the result of another Choose Your Own Malec over on Tumblr. It is pretty long; for me, anyway! Thanks go to everyone who took part in the surveys as it was posting, Saadie for steak and legal consultation, and everyone who messaged me throughout the writing of it, this was a lot of fun!
> 
> The entire thing is now complete, along with the additional scenes and epilogue that readers over on Tumblr haven't seen yet. I'll be posting this every couple of days until we're done, so if you're desperate to know what happened before this thing had its full write up then you can find the story over on Tumblr. 
> 
> Some notes that I'm guessing most people won't read:  
> \- the chapters are pretty long. After around two months of writing this thing on Tumblr I have zero extra energy left to dedicate even more time to majorly adjusting the chapters to a length that some might find more 'suitable'.  
> \- this is my first AU for Malec and it was a ride of _what the hell am I doing_ for most of it. 99% of the time, a fun one!  
>  \- the remedies in this fic are real ones! I have used some, and researched others, but I'd also not recommend anyone use them without thoroughly researching them first. I shouldn't have to say that, and yet...  
> \- fanfic is FREE. Just another little reminder there for the tiny corner of fandom that thinks it's written specifically for them. Don't like, don't read, don't comment, and we can all live happily ever after!
> 
> Okay! That's it <3

Thursday afternoons are always quiet. Magnus doesn't know why he keeps the place open so late when his last customer today arrived just before one, the same as she has done every week for the past six months.

It's so slow that he doesn't bother stopping for a lunch break, instead just sits there eating a sandwich behind the counter, sat between his lucky dip crystals and incense scent of the week, which currently is _citrus_. It's made him crave drizzle cake for the past few days, and he's just debating giving in to that craving by heading over to the bakery opposite to get a thick slice for after dinner later, when the Maneki-neko sitting on the counter freezes mid beckon, its paw grinding to a halt.

"Cheap knockoff," he chides as he rises from his chair and picks the black cat up hearing something in its casing rattle when he shakes it. "Someday, I'll have a _real_ cat, and then you, my friend, will be out with the trash."

The Maneki-neko stares back with mournful eyes leaving Magnus feeling guilty, slumping as he sighs. " _Fine_. I'll replace your batteries. But this is the last time; this has to be the fifth time I've changed them this month."

Magnus puts the cat back down on the counter and searches amongst the few shelves there finding no batteries and turns instead to the small office to search in there. It's not really an office, just a really deep crevice in the wall that, judging by the studs either side of it, was once a large built-in bookshelf. But it's where he keeps his paperwork and can just about tuck a small safe in there to keep his takings throughout the day. The batteries have slipped down the side of the rack, and he's just bending over to retrieve them when he hears the bell over the door chime.

"Uh… hello?"

Magnus does _not_ bang his head on the doorframe of his _office_ for the surprise of having a customer on a Thursday afternoon. And he does _not_ spin around dramatically needing to cling on to the counter for the headrush he gives himself for straightening up too soon. He also doesn't let his gaze linger over the perplexed man stood in front of him, curious eyes sweeping over all the shelves stuffed with bottles, packets, and jars, and display cabinets full of trinkets that make up Magnus' store, before finally landing on Magnus himself.

"Uh. Hi."

"Well, hello," Magnus replies, kicking himself for the purr he hears in his own voice.

"Uh. Hi."

"You said that already."

"Yeah," the man says looking adorably lost, with the faintest of blushes lighting up his cheeks, and his hand clenching and unclenching down by his side. "I don't really know what I'm doing here."

"What is it you're looking for?" Magnus asks, thinking that the man is beautiful. Looking a little sleep-deprived perhaps, but stunning nonetheless. Magnus tries to keep his smile neutral and his eyes from wandering, failing miserably at the sight of chest hair peeking out from a hastily-buttoned shirt.

"It's silly, really."

"I don't like to think of any of my clients' needs as _silly_ ," Magnus reproaches, adamant he's _not_ taking another glance at the open buttons of that shirt.

"To be honest, I'm not even sure what I'm looking for."

"How about we start off with whatever the problem is, and take it from there," Magnus suggests, pleased when the man takes a stumbling step towards him and rests tentative hands against the counter. Long fingers slotting together that Magnus takes a good few seconds to snatch his eyes away from.

"It's just I… I just took on a new job a few months back, and it's… it's a little more _intense_ than I was expecting."

"And you're having difficulty sleeping?" Magnus guesses, letting his gaze settle on the slight bags beneath the man's eyes when he can bring himself to look away from the hazel blinking back at him.

"Well, that too," the man says, with slight suspicion in his voice. "But it's more that… I'm working some long hours, and I—"

"Could do with a little help focusing?" Magnus suggests, watching a flicker of relief cross the man's face.

"Yes. Exactly. I can't keep drinking coffee all the time, and I've tried energy drinks—"

"Abhorrent things—"

"Yeah. And they taste awful. And I… my sister said I should get some kind of _tea_. So I looked up this place because it's nearby and I… well. I'm here."

"You are indeed," Magnus agrees with another sweeping glance over his chest before he can stop himself.

He keeps a good stock of tea amongst the crystals, charms, and ingredients for making all sorts of herbal remedies, and can reel off the details of every single thing he stocks in his store right from there where he's currently sat. But Magnus takes great pleasure in coming around the counter to see this man up close, beckoning for him to follow him across the store.

"Do you have a teapot?" he asks as they stop beside the display of teas that sits just to the side of one of his windows, a perfect spot for people watching if Magnus chooses to stand here and stare out when he's bored.

"Are you trying to upsell me already?" the man teases with a hint of a smile that Magnus' heart does _not_ flutter for.

"Not at all. It is just always better to steep tea at the perfect temperature for the perfect length of time. In the right… equipment," he adds, kicking himself for his choice of words, though if he's more honest the scolding is for the way his gaze just _drops_ to look this beautiful man over.

"Right," the man says with a doubtful glance between the shelves and Magnus himself. "And… what tea do you recommend?"

Magnus takes the opportunity to look the man over yet again, and decides from his form he must be active, works out regularly, and has a good heart. Why he decides this or why it's even relevant to choosing tea is unimportant, but Magnus catches his gaze lingering a little too long as he thinks these things over, and turns back to the tea rack with a flourish to disguise it.

"I would suggest ginkgo biloba," Magnus replies, reaching for a small packet and holding it out.

"...Why?"

"It is known for assisting with cognitive function, and contains powerful antioxidants that help you to think more clearly," Magnus replies, adding, "it has been used for thousands of years, and has been rigorously tested. Scientifically."

The man looks at the package now crinkling in his fingers as he turns it over, his brow still furrowed in doubt. "What do I do with it?"

"Have you never made tea before?" Magnus asks with a hint of laughter, receiving one perfectly raised eyebrow in answer. "Just follow the instructions here on the sticker. I wrote them myself."

The man turns the package over to read and nods. "Doesn't seem all that hard."

"It isn't."

It's the most simple of conversations, yet Magnus feels a beat in his heart and a heat to his cheeks that he hasn't allowed himself to feel in an age. Then tells himself he's being _foolish_ , and tries to arrange a more professional smile on his face.

"You said something about a teapot?" the man asks, his smile still cautious, but beautiful enough to mean Magnus struggles once more to snatch his eyes away.

"Or, one of these cups," Magnus says, spinning around to gesture at the small display beside the tea and picking one up. "You pour the tea in here, and drink from this side."

"And this… you're sure this'll work?" the man says, that doubt endearing him to Magnus even if he tells himself it isn't.

"It's one of the teas I use myself when I need a little pick-me-up."

Magnus tells himself he is imagining the appraising glance over he receives in return for all of his inspection since the man walked in, but keeps perfectly still just in case he isn't.

"Well. I guess I'll take… that one," the man says, reaching behind Magnus for a plain black cup.

It fits him, Magnus thinks, taking in the shirt and pants in exactly the same color, and belatedly noticing the large tattoo on his neck. That he does _not_ immediately imagine kissing along the length of as he walks away to duck back behind the counter, averting his eyes in the hope he won't get caught.

"You're sure this'll work?" the man repeats, tapping at the counter as Magnus wraps the cup and tea in paper.

"Why don't you… come back and tell me?" Magnus says, keeping his smile bright even as he kicks himself for the suggestiveness in his tone.

The man's tapping stops and he becomes perfectly still, staring back at Magnus dazed. "Uh…"

"It is always good to know that my _products_ are working well," Magnus adds, chiding himself again for his choice of words.

"I—"

"Magnus," he says, shoving his hand across the counter for the man to shake hoping that it isn't trembling hard enough to reveal just how stupid he's feeling.

"A—Alec," the man stutters back taking his hand just a second later, following it up with a soft, _thanks_.

Magnus rings up his purchases, does _not_ notice the surname Lightwood on his card to store up to remember later, and firmly keeps his eyes somewhere appropriate as Alec walks out of his store.

* * *

"...and I've got all these _things_ to read, and if I don't get this assignment in by Friday then I might as well just quit. Only, if I _quit_ I think my dad'll kill me, and I don't really _wanna_ quit but I've got this exam tomorrow and I haven't had _any_ time to—"

" _Jamie_."

Magnus watches his favorite college student pause to take a breath, only dropping his hand from where he was holding it up to gesture for him to stop talking when Jamie nods back.

"Okay?" Magnus checks before he does anything else, smiling in sympathy as Jamie's hands curl over the edge of the counter and he sags against it with a huff.

"Sorry, Magnus."

"Why are you apologizing?"

"Because," Jamie says, watching Magnus as he rises to his feet and makes his way around the counter, "it's not your problem."

Magnus smiles to himself as he searches through his shelves. Jamie has been coming into his store since he started as a freshman at the local university, and not once in all the time he has known him since has Jamie ever failed to make him smile. There are always stories about his professors or the other students taking his classes, and on occasions when he's particularly bright-eyed and excitable, tales of all kinds of mischief he's been up to with his friends.

This is the first time Jamie has arrived and his first words haven't been something along the lines of _guess what happened today_ and instead were replaced with a forlorn _hi_ , so Magnus knows he's serious, and is unable to resist wanting to try to help.

"Tell me about your week," Magnus suggests as he breaks off a large pinch of fresh rosemary and deposits it on the counter, smiling as Jamie watches his hand.

"It's _Monday_ , Magnus. Nothing's happened yet. And if I don't get this—"

"Then, tell me about your weekend," Magnus amends, calling from behind a shelf as he picks up a small tub of vacha powder and straightens up another that looks as though it's about to fall.

"I was studying," Jamie protests as Magnus joins him back at the counter. "I—"

Magnus makes a disgruntled noise that silences him, watching Jamie with a raised eyebrow as he drags his mortar and pestle from beneath the counter, beginning to grind up the rosemary without breaking eye contact.

"Okay. So maybe I wasn't _just_ studying."

Magnus smiles, knowing from the slight pink beginning to flush up Jamie's neck that this story is _good_ , and doesn't say a word not wanting to interrupt him.

"I had a friend over on Saturday night. _To study_ ," Jamie adds as Magnus fights back a smile.

"Oh?"

"So maybe studying took a back seat…."

"To?"

Jamie drops his gaze, and that pinkness on his neck reaches the tips of his ears. Magnus continues to grind up the rosemary preparing him a paste, staring up at him patiently barely taking the time to blink.

"It's… new. Okay?"

"What's new?"

"Desai."

"And _Desai_ would be…"

"I don't know," Jamie replies, shrugging his shoulders defensively. "It's _new_."

"But Desai—"

"Might be a boyfriend. Might not be. I don't _know_ , Magnus."

"So," Magnus says, racking his brains for the name of the _girlfriend_ who had made Jamie blush barely a month ago and failing, concentrating instead on scraping the paste into a small jar. "Desai has been taking up your valuable study time?"

"Not all of it," Jamie protests again, and Magnus lets out the laughter he's been holding on to.

"Even if he has. If you're happy, that's all that matters."

"Yeah. Tell that to my _dad_ when I _fail_."

"You will not _fail_. You will apply _this_ to your temples," Magnus says, sliding the small jar across the countertop and watching Jamie pick it up to inspect.

"Magnus—"

"It's for _focus_. As is this," he adds, pulling a jar of honey from beneath the counter and spooning some into another jar along with the vachu powder, then shaking it hard once capped. "All you need to do is add a little milk—hot preferably—and drink it. These are no miracle cures, but should help you with your studying."

"You—"

"And here's your usual," Magnus says, sliding out a small parcel from beneath the counter.

Jamie first came into Magnus' store looking for a natural remedy for eczema. They've been through coconut oil which only aggravated the condition, and a sunflower seed oil-based remedy that Jamie complained brought him out in pimples. For the past six months, he's been successfully using a batch of ointment Magnus brewed up himself that includes apple cider vinegar and witch hazel, which Jamie is so impressed by he's recommended it to several friends. Magnus always knows when his customers are one of Jamie's referrals for the way they greet him as though he has also known _them_ for years as well.

"Thanks, Magnus," Jamie sighs, fingers drumming on the package for a moment before he reaches for his wallet and slides some cash across to him.

Magnus asks some more questions about the work that's got Jamie in such a spin, and is happy when he seems to puzzle his way out of it before his very eyes, smiling enough to show that he's calmed.

"So," Magnus says, unable to resist teasing him, "Desai—"

"Is meeting me for lunch," Jamie says as he slots his treatments into the messenger bag thrown across his chest and avoids his eyes, even trying to hide a smile. "So—"

"You should probably go?" Magnus finishes for him with a quick glance beyond his shoulder to the clock, realizing it's almost one. His stomach gives a grumble in protest reminding Magnus that _he_ is yet to eat, and though he's in the mood for _gossip_ decides the sandwich waiting for him is probably a better way to occupy his time.

"Yeah. Thanks, Magnus."

"No problem. I'm sure I'll see you again soon?" Magnus says already reaching for his lunch and peeling back the paper to unwrap it.

"You will," Jamie agrees with a small wave as he turns away, disappearing just as quickly as he'd swept into the store and leaving Magnus chuckling to himself, wondering what other entertainment will fill his afternoon.

* * *

It's Thursday again. And though it's been a busy week with lots of customers, as well as several evenings spent with friends, the predictable lull in his routine is making Magnus sleepy. Propped up on an elbow against the counter swirling doodles over his inventory pad when what he _should_ be doing is sticking labels to his new delivery of tea.

He's saving it for when he's really bored, which, Magnus predicts, will be in another half hour, eking it out to pass the maximum time he can before he can lock up. But since he's run out of page to doodle on, Magnus pushes himself upright and drags the box across the counter, tipping its contents out and stacking the tea into several piles.

Peeling the pre-printed labels from their backing and lining them up on the backs of the packets of tea is soothing, but takes Magnus no more than a few minutes to complete. He loads up his arms with the packets tucking the stack under his chin to keep them in place as he straightens up, side-stepping around the counter and making his way over to the display of tea.

The bell on the door has him spinning in surprise scattering tea packets everywhere. Magnus hears a, _dammit_ , before a rush of black appears next to him, crouching down to help pick up the discarded tea.

"I didn't mean to startle you."

Magnus stops mid-reach to turn and recognizes his customer from the previous week. "I wasn't—"

"Alec," he says with a rueful smile and a half wave.

"Uh. Hi."

"Magnus, right?" Alec says, and Magnus tells himself he isn't preening for Alec remembering his name.

"Yes. Yes, it is."

"Well," Alec says as he reaches for another few packets of tea and stands seeming even taller than Magnus thinks he is until he straightens up to join him. "I gotta tell you. The tea you gave me last week was amazing."

"It worked?" Magnus asks as he slots the packets on to their shelves.

"You know. You probably shouldn't sound so surprised by how good your own stuff is," Alec retorts with a little hint of that tease Magnus now remembers from Alec's last visit.

Magnus kicks himself, hand up to his ear cuff hoping to draw attention away from how he's blushing, and clears his throat. "Are you here to buy more?"

"Actually, yes," Alec replies, reaching out for the tea in question and picking up two packets.

"I'm glad to know it's helping. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"I don't think so," Alec says as he follows him to the counter. "I'll be honest. This isn't really… well, this isn't really my kind of store. No offense."

"None taken," Magnus replies, admiring the rolled up sleeves revealing more tattoos on Alec's forearms. "Though I should probably ask. What are you doing here two weeks in a row if this isn't _your kind of store_?"

Alec's blush is just as adorable as it was last week. Magnus tries not to focus on it, and makes a far bigger deal of giving Alec his change to distract himself.

"It's… well. I didn't exactly have a lot of time to look anywhere else—"

"Oh, _thank you_ —"

"I didn't mean—"

"Alec. I'm joking," Magnus says with a smile, sliding the wrapped up tea over to him.

"I… I liked the tea from here," Alec stutters, shifting awkwardly on the spot. "And I didn't… it made sense to come back here."

"I see," Magnus says, trying to think of a professional way to slip him his number and coming up with nothing. "So. What do you do when you're not buying my tea, Alec?"

"I'm Assistant Director of Fitness and Wellness at the University," Alec says with a wave of his hand Magnus assumes is in the direction of that university which is only a couple of blocks away from the store.

"That sounds… responsible," Magnus replies, wondering now about Alec's age. He doesn't know much about _assistant directors_ but he's fairly sure he'd expect one to have a few more years than Alec does. And at the very least thinning, and greying hair. Not the beautiful black locks his fingers are itching inappropriately to be slotted through.

"It is," Alec agrees, thankfully oblivious to Magnus' musings, "it kind of… I guess I might have worked up to it eventually, in maybe a few years. But the Director left suddenly with health issues, and I kind of stepped in. And took over."

"Officially?"

"Well," Alec says, tilting his head a little, "not officially, no. Not—not yet."

"Keeping you in your own title whilst you're doing the work of another, to keep you on the same pay scale," Magnus says, his loathing of such practices seeping into his voice even if he tries to stop it.

"It's… well, when you put it like _that_ —"

"Forgive me," Magnus says with a hand pressed over his own heart, "I have been fortunate enough to always work for myself. I've never had to deal with such corporate… nonsense. But I can make assumptions."

"Yeah," Alec says with a soft laugh, "I mean, I guess you're not wrong."

"Do you enjoy what you do?"

"I do," Alec says, though Magnus sees the brief moment of hesitation. "I do."

"I confess. I have no idea what a… what an Assistant Director of Fitness and Wellness actually does."

"You know. Some days? Neither do I," Alec says with another burst of laughter, though is half-distracted by trying to pull his vibrating cell phone from his pocket at the same time.

Magnus watches the laughter on his face slip away to something more serious, and has the ridiculous idea that he should try to _help_.

"Mother," Alec says as he answers, with Magnus not sure what to make of the clipped tone. "Of course."

Magnus catches a brief smile that is quite different from the one he saw a few moments earlier, and opens his mouth to speak.

"Duty calls," Alec adds, waving his phone.

"Your… mother works at the university with you?"

"Oh. No, just… family stuff," Alec says, a deep frown creeping in to steal the last of his smile.

"Oh."

"I'll… thank you for the tea," Alec says, picking up and waving the packet. He stares back at Magnus for another couple of seconds then is turning on his heel and leaving again.

Magnus opens his mouth to speak but the door is closed before he gets a single word out.

* * *

Magnus laughs at Catarina's message showing Madzie covered in face paint that she _had_ to show _Uncle Magnus_ , his joy at seeing them both so happy turning into a wistful smile. It's not often that he lets it hit him, but on days like this when all the people he cares about are busy doing other things, Magnus feels truly alone.

Having no family to speak of, and barely able to remember what his own mother looked like should not be hitting him as hard as it is out of nowhere for seeing what a natural parent Catarina has become to Madzie after only a few months. But it has, and Magnus feels _guilty_ for it, for any part of him that might be begrudging Catarina something that is not his to have.

He should have given Dot the day off. He could be occupying his thoughts with running the store himself, instead of being sat here at a fancy restaurant on his own on a Saturday afternoon, trying to convince himself he doesn't stick out like a sore thumb.

It's only _lunch_ , he reminds himself, usually more than happy with his only company in public like this, where no one is even paying attention. Magnus avoids eye contact with the couple at the table nearest to him just in case, and pretends once again to be more interested in his book.

The last time he was in this restaurant was before Ragnor had left, with him and Catarina determined to give him the best send off they could. Between numerous martinis and an excellent menu, Magnus thinks they were successful, but now he's sat here on his own when they are both otherwise occupied makes Magnus miss Ragnor and Catarina desperately. Even if Ragnor is only at the end of a phone call, and Catarina lives within just a few minutes' walk.

Magnus drains the last of his coffee, checking his phone and telling himself he's not disappointed to find no waiting messages. He checks the time, thinks he can make himself sit here for another half hour, and tries to focus on the words on the page. He gets about a third of the way down when he hears a wail from across the restaurant, seeking out the source and finding a young family, parents flushed red with embarrassment as their daughter begins to kick up a storm.

He watches as the mother tries to calm her with some food from her own fork, smiling as the girl stubbornly turns her head away to avoid it, and would have shoved her plate to the floor if it wasn't for her dad quickly reaching out to grab it before it can fall.

Out of nowhere, because apparently this afternoon is a maudlin one full of all the things Magnus feels he's lacking and can't ignore, Magnus thinks of his own mother. Tries hard to picture her, though comes up only with vague snatches of a sweet singing voice and gentle laughter. Her face forgotten long ago no matter how hard Magnus has tried to hold on to her image.

Magnus tries once again to concentrate on his book, but the mood he's found himself in won't let him focus. He checks his phone for a final time deciding if he can't do anything practical then the least he can do is go for a walk. He pays the bill leaving an overly-generous tip, takes one final glance around the restaurant, then makes his way outside, telling himself not to scowl at the sun highlighting what a beautiful afternoon it is when he feels so alone.

* * *

 


	2. Chapter 2

The bell chiming over the door announcing a customer puts a smile on Magnus' face even before he looks up. He pauses from wiping down his counter pressing his palms against it, telling his heart it isn't giving a happy skip for seeing Alec walking towards him.

"Well, hello."

"Hey, Magnus," Alec says, relaxed as he leans his arms against the counter as though he's been coming here for months.

"Surely you haven't finished all of that tea already? Not that I'm not pleased to see you, of course," Magnus adds quickly, not wanting Alec to misinterpret him.

"How do you know I came here for tea?" Alec retorts, and Magnus will not let himself read in to the smirk on his face, or the way his gaze lingers over him perhaps a little longer than it needs to.

"Then..."

"Well," Alec amends as he straightens up, wrapping his fingers around the counter instead, "I didn't come _just_ for that. I got _orders_."

The cloth Magnus has been wiping the counter with gets tossed over his shoulder as he moves to look at the list Alec has now pulled from his back pocket. There are three different sets of handwriting on the page, and Magnus wonders for a moment which one belongs to Alec. But then he's telling himself this is business and tries to get his mind to work.

"Your team?"

"Yeah," Alec says, laughing, "couple of 'em tried that tea last week, and loved it. So, I need some more of that. And then they asked about what other stuff you had, and, well. They made this list."

Magnus preens a little at the thought of Alec mentioning his store to other people, leaning in to read the list.

"Perhaps all you need to remedy these ailments is more time away from the computer. A little fresh air."

"...Why?"

"Someone you are working with has headaches, and another has been staring at their screen too long," Magnus says, tapping at each of their complaints.

"Not trying to upsell me this week?" Alec laughs, already turning as Magnus snatches up the list and moves around the counter, following him over to his display of tea.

"I would never."

"But you know what they're gonna need?" Alec asks.

Magnus feels himself putting on a show, an extra flourish in his movements as he reaches out for the various types of tea, and a theatrical spin on his heel as he turns to face him stopping where they are just inches apart.

"For headaches, I recommend lemon balm," Magnus says, realizing just how close they're standing and spinning away again, telling himself to behave. "I would recommend it as incense as well, but—"

"You're not upselling me. Not today, anyway," Alec finishes for him, coming once again to stop by the counter.

"Because the smoke might set off a fire alarm," Magnus retorts, his stomach give a hard flip for the mischief in Alec's eyes as he watches him, torn between looking away and staring right back.

"Okay. And what about—"

Alec reaches out for one of the packs of tea and spins it so he can read the label.

"—fennel? What's that for?"

"Eye strain. For staring at those ghastly monitors all day long."

"You don't like computers, Magnus?" Alec asks, absently picking up a small tub that is still there from a previous customer and rolling it along the counter.

"I do. But in harsh office lighting with no adequate screen filter, working constantly at a computer sounds just awful. As well as having to pay attention to a boss."

"Who says we have harsh office lighting?"

"These people," Magnus says, flattening the list out.

Alec leans back and smiles, shrugging in defeat, and nodding at Magnus' gesture asking if he wants him to wrap up all the tea. "You always know how to give people what they want?"

Magnus tells himself to hold perfectly still, does not study the way Alec's eyes are dancing with mirth, and chides himself for even thinking Alec is trying to flirt. "It depends on the person."

"I'll keep that in mind," Alec retorts immediately.

Magnus counts several long seconds of them just looking at each other then clears his throat, picking up a pad of paper just for something to put in his hands.

"So. What did the person who wanted this need help with?" Alec asks when he finally looks away, turning the tub he's been playing with to read the label then pushing it towards him.

Magnus, because apparently he's incapable of not making a fool of himself in front of Alec, snorts with laughter before he can rein it in. "This?"

"Yeah."

"Well," Magnus says, picking up the tub to look at then sliding it back towards Alec. "The customer who purchased some of this was looking for a remedy for hypertension and poor circulation. A very effective remedy, I might add."

Alec taps at the lid, which Magnus assumes means he wants to look inside. He pops back the lid and waits as Alec leans over to look. "It looks like dirt. Like really dry dirt."

"Yohimbe is derived from the bark of the Pausinystalia yohimbe tree in Central Africa. And in the past, it was used to reverse the sedation of animals like dogs and deer."

"So… your last customer was a deer, or something?" Alec teases, pushing the lid back down until it clicks into place.

"Unless it was a deer that looked exceptionally like a stressed-out librarian, then I think not."

"Do librarians get stressed?" Alec asks, his tone suggesting it's something he's actually pondering out loud, instead of just saying as a passing comment.

Magnus likes that about Alec. He can be silly one minute and so serious the next, and though this might only be the third time he's seen him, Magnus thinks he already knows how to recognize Alec's patterns. Today, for instance, is a good day at work, where although Alec is probably busy, everything is going to plan. He is also probably working late, Magnus decides, for the purchases that he's now picturing Alec taking back to his harshly-lit office to make himself some tea to get through the rest of the afternoon.

He's thinking too much, Magnus adds to himself, forcing his eyes away from lingering on Alec's shirt, that might be black as he's used to seeing yet looks so good on him Magnus has distracted himself and is staring anyway.

 _Focus_ , he demands as he snatches up the tub and decides to put it back on a shelf to keep himself busy.

"So. For un-sedating animals, hypertension, and circulation," Alec says as Magnus walks behind him, with Magnus sure he can feel his eyes on his back.

"Amongst other things."

Magnus is met with an eyebrow and a teasing smile as he returns, his cheeks hurting from how much he's fighting not to grin like a simpleton.

"...other things like what?"

Magnus can't resist. The urge to tease Alec and keep seeing him smile chases away any thought of being professional, or keeping up his typical walls.

"Well. Predominantly, yohimbe has been found to be a powerful aphrodisiac. Supporting the libido, and stimulating the nervous system, as well as increasing the blood flow to certain… organs," Magnus adds from behind the safety of his counter, watching Alec's cheeks flare in the most adorable blush. "It just makes everything feel really, really good. Apparently."

"I… uh… huh," Alec says after a long pause as though he's having trouble getting his words together. "Well. That's, uh… good?"

"For those who need it," Magnus replies, wishing he could interpret the ripple of emotions crossing Alec's face. Though when he sees the way Alec seems to sag in visible relief when his eyes settle on the tea he's about to purchase like he needs the change of subject, Magnus starts second-guessing his words and telling himself he's been too playful.

"H—how much?" Alec stammers out with a wave over the parcel of tea, already grabbing for his wallet and avoiding eye contact.

Magnus could kick himself, his stomach already dropping like a stone. But he keeps his voice neutral as he tells Alec the price, sliding his change across the counter so there is no risk of making any contact between their hands. There is a really awkward moment of silence that follows as Magnus watches Alec shoving his wallet back in his pocket before gathering up his tea.

"Well. Some of us have got to go back to our offices with harsh lighting," Alec says as he lifts his head up, relieving Magnus by giving him an easy smile as though that moment of awkwardness was nothing but a figment of Magnus' imagination.

"That's—"

"Although," Alec says, gripping on to the counter with one hand as he turns and gestures around them, "it's kind of dark in here, don't you think?"

"I prefer natural lighting over—"

"Or no lighting—"

"It's not that dark," Magnus protests, watching the way Alec's lips curve up into an even bigger smile.

Alec snorts, tapping the counter with his parcel of tea before half-turning away. "Okay, Magnus."

"I hope that all helps whoever it is destined for," Magnus calls before Alec can get to the door, failing to find any rational reason to keep him for a moment longer.

Alec turns the handle and opens the door a touch, half-leaning against it as he looks back over his shoulder.

"I'll let you know next week," he replies, lingering for a moment longer before giving a half-wave, and disappearing from sight.

The only noise now filling the store is Magnus' stubborn Maneki-neko, the black cat grinding to a halt mid-wave as though in answer to Alec.

"You again," he says with a glare as whatever mechanism inside the cat gives a final protest then stops, picking it up and shaking it with a resigned sigh.

Magnus looks back to the door that Alec just left him through, then at the troublesome cat now sat in his hands, and chides himself for wishing it was next Thursday already.

* * *

"Simon's got a girl."

Magnus looks up from his hand of cards and carelessly tosses a couple of chips on the pile in the middle of the table, choosing to ignore the disdainful snort to his other side.

"Hey. I don't—"

"Simon," Luke says with that tone of teasing that speaks of being as close to a father as it's possible to get, "you've been talking about this girl for weeks."

"She's just a friend."

Simon's pitch tells Magnus far more than his words are saying, and he can't resist grinning at him in tease across the table. "Simon. It's your move."

"Simon's too chicken to ever make a move on anyone," Raphael retorts in that bored, disinterested tone Magnus knows all too well. He catches his eyes when he glances up and raises an eyebrow, seeing the smallest of smiles.

"I'm not making a move on—"

"Magnus meant it's your turn," Luke tells him, nodding towards his cards.

"Right."

"So. this girl. This Iz—"

"She's just someone I know from around," Simon says, glaring at his cards before dropping them in defeat.

Magnus smiles as he listens to the back and forth that follows between Luke and Simon, then watches Raphael rise fluidly to his feet to deal with a question from a customer over at the bar.

Magnus has been coming to Raphael's bar for years, and this poker night has been a feature of their friendship for almost just as long. The current group has only been in place about six months now, with Simon filling the place of Quinn, Raphael's former business partner, when he upped and disappeared with a word.

They still speak about Quinn sometimes, with rumors reaching them at the club of all kinds of wrongdoings and all sorts of trouble he's gotten himself into since. Raphael plays dumb to any questions that come his way, though Magnus knows he is still furious for the way he walked out. The concern he'd initially had when he'd gone missing dissolving into rage at his former friend, and has meant the limited trust Raphael has for people is stretched even thinner than before.

"I don't see you interfering in anyone else's lack of love life," Simon says, pulling Magnus' attention back from watching Raphael across the room.

"Yeah," Luke agrees with a scoff, "'cos no one else around here has any kind of love life."

"Speak for yourself," Raphael retorts as he gracefully slides back into his seat making Magnus startle for how quickly he's crossed the room.

"Gonna share?"

"Some of us are gentlemen," Raphael replies with a slight, implied smirk for Luke that is completely uninvited. Magnus has known Luke for years as well, and even if he's not always been that trustful of the police, Luke is someone he does trust and has long-called a friend.

"Being all dark and mysterious is not the same as—"

"So. Magnus," Luke says, cutting Simon's gripe at Raphael off, "anyone you're currently being a gentleman with?"

Though he tells himself they shouldn't, Magnus' thoughts fly immediately to Alec, the customer who has now been a regular on Thursdays for all of four weeks. It's too soon, and it's far too much to be even thinking of a customer out of hours. He is also several centuries away from being ready to let anyone new into his life, no matter how much he enjoys the tease he has with Alec.

"No one to be a gentleman with," he says smoothly, hoping to avoid a conversation he doesn't want to have.

"What happened to the guy I used to know, who would party until dawn every damn weekend?" Luke demands with a guffaw of laughter. "What happened to the guy who was never home, who had… I don't know, Magnus. You were always—"

"My circumstances are very different now to what they were a few years ago," Magnus says, hoping to cut him off.

"Only because you made 'em different. Seriously, Magnus. You work, you see us guys, and Cat—"

"I dare you to call Catarina that to her face—"

"And that's it," Luke finishes anyway. When Magnus dares look up it's to an incredulous look on his face that he really doesn't want to see. "Magnus. You can't keep being stuck up on the past—"

"I'm not stuck up on the past," Magnus replies, fighting away any memories that refer to that past. "I'm, if anything, looking to not make the same mistakes of the past."

"But that's—"

"Now is just not the right time," Magnus tells him, pleading in his eyes, because he can't deal with this now. He doesn't want the reminder of how lonely he's been of late, even when he's lied to himself that he's anything but.

"Uh huh," Luke says in that tone that says he doesn't believe him at all. Though Magnus is thankful when he sighs and drops the subject, going back to teasing Simon instead.

* * *

Alec has officially become Magnus' Thursday regular. He's been back every week for the last few weeks, and though he only stays for a few minutes each time buying nothing much more than the same few packets of tea, Magnus has found himself looking forward to it far more than he knows he should. He spends a little more time than necessary getting ready every Thursday morning, making sure all his chores and tasks are up to date so he's ready for Alec's arrival. Not that he's really waiting for Alec to arrive each week, of course, or hoping for a little longer conversation than they invariably have.

Magnus sits a little straighter as he checks the time on his phone, knowing Alec tends to arrive within the same half-hour window each week. Sure enough, Magnus watches the door's handle being pressed down seconds before the bell above it begins to chime, and it's just enough time for him to paste on a wide, welcoming smile.

"Hello, Alec," he says as Alec steps up to the counter with an equally warm smile of his own.

"Hey."

"How's your week been?" Magnus asks, thinking that, were he truly a professional, he'd have Alec's order ready and waiting for him. But that would be both presumptuous and counter-productive for wanting to drag out his visit, so he pushes the thought to one side.

"Good," Alec says, "busy. But good. Finally getting things organized."

"That's good to hear," Magnus says. He really does look forward to their conversations even if they're only brief details about Alec's workload and how he's doing with the tea. Even if he wants to ask about so many other things.

He might even spend time each week rehearsing several other questions hoping to get to know more about him, Magnus thinks as he sits there helplessly smiling. But the moment Alec arrives Magnus finds himself retreating to hide behind familiar words.

"And you're doing okay?" Alec asks, with a tiny frown of concern.

Magnus does not preen for his attention. Last week Alec's arrival had coincided with Magnus receiving a phone call from a difficult supplier, who had caught him off guard mid-headache and had left him feeling less than his best. Alec had gestured for him to stay in his seat behind the counter, walked over to the tea display to help himself, then returned and stayed to talk to him a little longer once the call ended, checking to see he how he was.

"I'm fine now."

"Good," Alec says with a brief smile, absently scratching at his forearm as he waves toward the tea display. "I'll just get my usual."

"You are still going through quite a lot of tea."

"I am," Alec agrees as Magnus comes around the counter to join him, "I tried swapping out some of my coffees so I'm not having so much caffeine. Finally found the right amount."

"You tried to cut them all out?"

"Maybe not all," Alec says as he follows Magnus over, "but I think I cut out too much too soon."

"Let me guess," he says, moving to gesture at his own temples. "Gave yourself a headache that's more like a toothache in your skull?"

"Yes," Alec replies with a groaned out laugh.

"How many cups of coffee were you drinking before?" Magnus asks, casually leaning next to the display hoping to drag out Alec's visit as long as he can, even when he argues with himself that he isn't.

"Too many," Alec says, sighing. "Eight, sometimes ten—"

"Alexander," Magnus chides, keeping his expression neutral even when he realizes the name he's let slip from his lips.

It's the name he's begun to think of Alec by when he's alone sometimes, when he creeps into his thoughts and doesn't want to leave. Magnus' hand is up at his ear cuff and playing to distract the rush of heat to his cheeks for realizing just how often he thinks about Alec.

Oblivious to Magnus' internal debate, Alec smiles, even squares his shoulders a little as though he likes hearing _Alexander_ , but doesn't add anything. Though his hand is up and scratching absently at his forearm again, and Magnus' eyes drop to watch as they walk back to the counter, following the movement until he stops.

"What's wrong with your arm?"

"Oh. Nothing," Alec says with a dismissive wave.

"You know. You are in what is effectively a herbal remedy store," Magnus says, gesturing around them.

"That's true."

"Though, admittedly, you have told me this isn't your kind of store," Magnus adds, teasing him as he wraps up the tea. "Perhaps you don't trust—"

"It's just a… I guess it's just a burn. Or a rash, or something. I got distracted."

"Oh?"

"By a… cat," Alec adds with a wrinkled up expression that makes Magnus' heart skip for how cute he thinks it is.

"I see."

"I… was competing. Or practicing, anyway. Archery," Alec says, staring back at Magnus for a second before glancing away.

Archery might explain Alec's gait and the way he holds his shoulders, and Magnus tries not to let his eyes linger for too long to check.

"And the cat?"

"Came out of nowhere and started… weaving between my legs."

"Cats do that," Magnus agrees, glancing at his still-temperamental Maneki-neko before looking back. Definitely not imagining Alec doing archery or the look of concentration that must be on his face for every arrow he lets fly. Or how he'd like to be on the receiving end of that focus in some very different ways.

"Yeah."

"And I suppose that you wouldn't trust any of my remedies," Magnus adds, deliberately goading him. Alec raises an eyebrow but says nothing, keeping eye contact as he shoves his sleeve up and rests his arm across the counter for Magnus to look.

There is a perfect line of redness just to the inside of Alec's elbow and halfway up his forearm. It looks as though it's been scratched at numerous times, and the brightness flaring outwards suggests it's not too far from a mild infection.

"It's not that bad," Alec says, and Magnus thinks it's in reaction to the soft, _oh dear_ that escapes from his mouth.

"What happened?"

"I looked down and let go of the arrow. Released it instead of pulling back. The strings got me."

Magnus resists, just about, the urge to sweep his thumb along the length of it, and instead squeezes lightly around Alec's forearm before holding up his hand telling him to wait. He walks around the counter again, moving over to a shelf unit and grabbing a jar of aloe vera gel, unscrewing it as he walks.

"May I?" he says, holding his hands up and waiting for permission.

Alec swallows hard but nods, turning his arm a little so Magnus can better reach. He flinches a little for what is probably the coolness of the gel, then leans over to watch Magnus applying it with a surprised huff. "That… actually, that feels amazing already."

"This is nothing but the gel from the leaves of the aloe vera plant. It prevents and soothes inflammation, irritation, and various other ailments to the skin. It's something of a miracle plant, actually," Magnus adds with a final swirl of his thumb over the last patch of Alec's rash. "It's used in shampoos, and supplements, and, well. Just about anything you can imagine."

"And I just… how often do I apply it?" Alec asks as he holds the jar up to inspect.

"As often as you need," Magnus replies, gesturing for the jar and screwing the lid back on. He waves it checking Alec wants the aloe vera then adds it to his total telling himself he shouldn't be considering giving away free samples just because he finds Alec cute. Very cute. Amongst other things.

"What's that smell?" Alec asks, gesturing towards the burning incense as he hands over some cash.

"One of my personal favorites. Sandalwood."

"And… what does that do for you?"

"Well, Mental clarity, and relaxation. Astringent when used in the right concentration," Magnus replies, missing off the natural aphrodisiac it's also known for being, remembering Alec's reaction last time to similar words. And also so he can gloss over his reason for using it in the shop this week, who is stood before him looking adorable, and far too frequently appearing in Magnus' thoughts.

"It smells good."

"I don't suppose I can interest you in any?"

"I'm so rarely home these days," Alec says with a rueful smile. "I'm hoping to change that soon. But right now, it would be a waste."

Magnus bites his tongue about shampoos and shower gels that he could use as an alternative imagining the smell of sandalwood on Alec's skin, just smiling back at him as he hands over his change.

"Well. I would love to know if the aloe vera works out for you," he says, leaving his usual debate for later with himself about why with Alec, his words never come out smooth.

"I'll see you next week, Magnus," Alec says with a smile, waving his arm around as though he's trying to dry the gel before he pulls his shirt sleeve back down over it.

Magnus wants to ask to see him sooner, to make a vague suggestion of coffee, or cocktails, or anything at all, but can't get a single question out.

"You will," he says instead, cursing at himself internally even with the fixed smile on his face.

"Have a good week," Alec adds, waving as he turns to leave, with Magnus watching until he's staring at a closed door.

* * *

"Magnus. Hey."

Magnus looks up from the book he's reading to find Alec smiling down at him and waving as they make eye contact, his heart thudding in surprise.

"Well, hello, Alec."

"I was beginning to think you never left that store of yours," Alec says, his eye lingering over Magnus' half-finished coffee and cheesecake before he's turning his head to the side to catch the title of his book.

"I am usually closed on Sundays," Magnus replies as he marks his page, turning in his seat so that he can face Alec properly, discreetly appreciating the view.

"No one else to mind the store?"

"More like no need," Magnus tells him, telling himself as always that he isn't noticing the way Alec is also looking him over. "I have numerous private clients. The store is more of a… frivolity, I suppose. And a way of meeting new people—customers."

"Private clients for what?" Alec asks, but then is distracted by a voice calling out to him, turning just enough to look and wave it away.

Magnus looks beyond Alec to find a woman looking at him curiously that he knows instantly must be Alec's sister, as well as another with flame red hair and a smile that Magnus thinks is full of glee.

"I'll… tell you some other time perhaps," Magnus suggests, tilting his chin. "It looks as though you have people waiting for you."

"My sister," Alec says with a sigh and another glance over his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I just saw you and wanted to say hello, but we're… we've got a family thing."

Magnus pretends he doesn't see the slight frown on Alec's face for the word family, preferring instead to think of him having a fun afternoon ahead. Though he does have the urge to ask him a ton of questions just to keep him here longer, just as he always does in his store. "I see."

"I'll… see you Thursday, Magnus," Alec says, with a shy smile for him.

"That you will," Magnus agrees, telling himself it's irrational to be excited about seeing a customer, before watching Alec walk away from him until he disappears from sight.

 _You can’t keep doing this_ , he tells himself, acknowledging only for a second just how often he’s been thinking about Alec. And he can’t; Magnus has too much hurt in his past from failed relationships to ever let another person in, no matter how cute he finds them. And besides, Alec is a customer, which would mean breaking so many more of his self-imposed rules.

Magnus scoops up another mouthful of cheesecake chewing it in thought without tasting much of anything. Trying to rein his concentration in to the pages on the book open once again in his lap instead of a beautiful smile and bright, hazel eyes. He gets through three pages before he’s slumping back in exasperation at his mind wandering yet again, and starts to picture what kind of afternoon might be in store for Alec.

* * *

"No—"

Magnus clatters to the floor flinching as his stepladders fall on top of him, groaning as the edge of a step hits the side of his head.

"Magnus. I'm so sorry."

Warm, careful hands are gripping at his arms and checking him over, and though both his body and brain are a little dented Magnus isn't totally surprised to find Alec looking worriedly at him when he finally blinks open his eyes.

"I was attempting to hang the clock," he says, watching as Alec glances around him where he's still crouching and scrapes it across the floor to pick up.

"Over the door?"

"It's Thursday," Magnus says, confused why that doesn't make sense to Alec. "And you usually don't arrive for at least another hour."

Alec opens his mouth to speak but closes it again making no comment about Magnus monitoring him, instead gripping Magnus a little harder and tugging him to his feet. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Magnus does not lean into the warm grip of a hand against his cheek or forget how to blink as Alec stares him in the eye.

"I think so."

"You fell pretty hard," Alec says, one swirled thumb at Magnus' hip where he probably landed, and the other reaching up to brush over his temple, that feels like it might bruise.

"I think I need to sit," Magnus says, a rushing noise filling his ears and leaving him limp in Alec's arms. He likes to think it's because of his fall and not how touch deprived he suddenly feels, how much he likes the idea of Alec holding him.

Alec grips him tighter and together they navigate awkwardly behind the counter, stuck at the tight squeeze of the partition he normally ducks through and finally slumping hard into his chair.

"You want water, or something? Tea?" Alec asks, still looking at him in concern and in doing so making Magnus' heart give an excited little flutter. It's that, or belated shock.

"Uh. Tea. Tea would be good."

"Anything over there that's for falling off ladders or something?" Alec says with a wave towards the tea display.

"Elderflower. And Rosemary."

"Want me to get you some?"

"Yes, please," Magnus says, moving to stand.

"Where are you going?"

Two hands gripped gently around his biceps keep Magnus in place, leaving him blinking up at Alec, forgetting how to talk.

"I was… I'll need water for the tea."

"You don't have anything here to boil water?" Alec asks, looking around the store as though he's expecting an entire kitchen to appear.

"No," Magnus replies, thinking of his tiny apartment upstairs and how crowded it might seem in Alec's company.

"Stay," Alec insists, squeezing his arms again before straightening up.

Magnus nods, and would ask him to flip the sign on the door so he doesn't have any more customers to deal with, but doesn't think it's worth the effort. He watches Alec leave and absently tidies up his counter, prods a sore spot on his wrist and feels a little sorry for himself. Though softens at the thought of Alec's concern and care for him so far.

"Hey," Alec says as he breezes back in a few minutes later. "I got some hot water from that place opposite. And some chocolate."

"Chocolate?"

"It's good for shock," Alec says, sliding the bar across the counter and nodding towards the tea. "How strong should I make it? Or should I make it? I don't know—"

"It's fine," Magnus says, bravely reaching out to squeeze Alec's forearm before preparing his tea.

"And this is gonna help?"

"Well," Magnus says as he stirs, "perhaps some arnica later for the bruises that will no doubt appear. A few drops of jojoba or lavender oil in the bath."

If he had a bath, Magnus adds to himself barely holding in his groan. A few drops diluted to put in his shower gel will have to suffice for now.

"Anything I can help you with?"

Magnus tells his mind it isn't imagining Alec running him a bath, then joining him in that bath, or imagining what he might feel like slicked up with oil. Though already he's put them in a deep, foam-filled bath, where together they—

"You have already helped me. Thank you, Alexander," Magnus says before his thoughts can run any further.

"You're sure?"

"I think so."

Alec is shifting uncertainly where he's standing, leaning on the counter one moment then straightening up the next. But then he's pushing back his sleeve and laying his arm out on the counter. "Your aloe vera stuff worked, look."

Magnus indulges in reaching out to press his fingertips around the now-healed wound, and smiles up at him. "It has."

"I didn't… I didn't get to drink so much tea this week," Alec says looking guilty for it, which endears Magnus even more.

"That's… okay," Magnus replies, endeared by the thought of Alec feeling he has to explain himself and immediately scolding himself for it.

"I mean, I just wasn't working in the office so much. I had some training to do, and a lot of meetings. And then I had a lot of archery practice since I'm competing in a couple of weeks."

That Alec is still tripping over his words and explaining himself has Magnus barely containing a wistful sigh.

"That sounds busy."

"It is," Alec agrees, "and now it's not like I don't need any help focusing, but I… I could really do with something to help me sleep."

Alec's face crinkles up adoringly, and Magnus bites his tongue to stop inappropriate sleeping aids getting out.

"I can—"

"I can get it," Alec says, gesturing for Magnus to keep sitting. "Just… tell me what I'm looking for."

"Lemon tea, valerian, or chamomile are some suggestions. Why don't you see which one you'd prefer?"

Alec nods, and Magnus watches him wander over to the tea, cautiously sniffing at each bag he picks up. Barely holds in a snort of laughter at the grimace Alec pulls at one and frantically pushes it back on the shelf, then fixes a smile on his face as Alec comes back to him with the other two.

"I don't know—"

"You can combine them, if you want. Take a measurement of each that suits," Magnus tells him, extending his hand.

"I'll—I'll do that."

"I hope you are leaving yourself some free time to either enjoy yourself, or simply to rest?" Magnus asks as he wraps up the tea and takes Alec's money.

"Yeah, not so much right now," Alec replies with a soft, tired sigh. "But I'm hoping that after next week things should get a little easier."

"I hope for that for you too."

Alec smiles, the tiniest flare of blush to his cheeks as he picks up his tea and change. He looks like he wants a reason to stay longer, but Magnus doesn't know how to help him with that or even why he might want to.

Magnus opens his mouth to speak, not sure what he's going to say, but Alec stops him by sliding the bar of chocolate he's brought him closer and nodding at it.

"Eat," he insists, smiling at Magnus as he takes it. "I'll… I'll see you next week."

Magnus drops the last square of chocolate on to his tongue an hour later as he's closing up, crinkling up the now-empty packet thinking of Alec, before making his way upstairs.

* * *

 


	3. Chapter 3

"Magnus."  
  
He doesn't mean to flinch at the shouting of his name, but it's late, and it's dark, and Magnus is in a part of town he's not all that familiar with. He tightens his satchel over his shoulder and turns around already poised to strike, his shoulders dropping in relief to find Alec jogging towards him.  
  
"I didn't expect to see you around here," Alec says when he catches up to him, smiling Magnus' favorite smile.  
  
"Neither did I expect to see you."  
  
"I was training," Alec says as he turns, waving absently across the street towards what Magnus thinks is some kind of leisure center.  
  
"I thought you worked at the university?"  
  
"I do," Alec agrees as he nods for them to keep walking, "but we don't have the facilities for archery."  
  
"I would have thought the… what was your job title? Director?"  
  
"Well. Still not officially, but, yeah."  
  
"So. Surely you can choose to have archery on your program if you want to?"  
  
"I don't think I'll get enough interest to justify it," Alec says with a rueful smile. "Anyway. What are you doing here?"  
  
"Oh," Magnus says, gesturing behind him, "a client of mine has a sick child. A toddler, really."  
  
"What's wrong with them?"  
  
"A cough. A bad one. I advised them to see a doctor but they are… reluctant."  
  
"Oh?" Alec says, and Magnus could get into the details of how some of his clients have no trust in medicine, or believe there is nothing that can't be cured at home. But it's a long spiel, and there are too many arguments on both sides of it. And besides, if he's got an unexpected few minutes with Alec this evening, there are all sorts of other things they could be talking about.  
  
"They just prefer natural remedies is all," he settles for saying.  
  
"And what kind of natural remedies is that?" Alec asks, apparently waiting to see which direction Magnus is walking in.  
  
"Well. A few drops of eucalyptus oil in the bath. Chrysanthemum tea with a little honey."  
  
"The flower?"  
  
"Yes."

"So you've probably got recommendations for just about everything, huh?" Alec says as he falls into stride beside Magnus, adjusting his gym bag across his chest.

"Well. Not _everything._ "

"I mean," Alec says, waving his hand to interrupt him, "that maybe you could just… look around you, and just… know what plants are, and… what to use them for?"

Magnus thinks of the few plants that always escape his memory and some of the ingredients he uses that he has no idea of what they look like in their natural form, and shrugs. "I suppose most of the time, yes. Why do you ask?"

"Well," Alec says, adjusting his bag on his shoulder, "when I was maybe six, or seven. My dad took me and Izzy hiking up along Bull Hill. I was racing her around this corner and misjudged my footing. Skidding straight into this patch of poison ivy head first."

Magnus watches Alec's hand raise and gesture at his chest before he gives a full body shudder as though in memory, and hums in sympathy. "Poison ivy can be incredibly painful."

"Oh, it was," Alec says, grimacing, "So. What would you have recommended?"

"Well, that aloe vera you used for your arm would have been helpful. Though personally, for poison ivy, I find making a baking soda paste to apply directly tends to bring the most relief."

"I looked like a beet," Alec laughs with a soft groan, nodding when Magnus gestures for a change in direction. "Was covered in the worst rash for about a week after."

"You didn't treat it with anything?" Magnus asks, horrified at the thought.

"Well. My mom covered me in calamine lotion that helped a bit, but then that got itchy too, so. It was a long, long week. And it was the summer, so it wasn't exactly the most convenient of time for me to injure myself. Interfering with their work schedules so they could take care of me... it didn’t go down well."

"It's never _convenient_ ," Magnus retorts, an unpleasant picture beginning to form of Alec's childhood, even if he doesn't know too much about it at all.

"My parents are kind of strict. Straightforward. I think my dad was more annoyed with me for not taking better care of myself, or not setting an example for Izzy. Or, just not being over it quick enough," Alec adds, his face shifting into something doubtful for a few seconds before he reins it in.

"Well. I'm sorry to hear that. But if you ever feel the urge to fall into poison ivy again, at least you will know what to treat it with." Magnus doesn't add that he would more than happily apply any remedy to Alec himself, scolding himself for even letting his thoughts wander when it comes to Alec. Especially after he keeps promising himself that he won't let them.  
  
Alec nods as though he's carefully considering all Magnus is saying, falling in to walk beside him again after he's stopped to adjust his sneaker, hopping awkwardly and almost losing his balance in the process. "So you… work from your store? And from home? At all hours?"  
  
"Normally I can do most of my work from the store. Though I do a little more at home now that I've moved."  
  
"Moved?"  
  
Alec is curious tonight, Magnus thinks, trying not to be excited by it, happy to give him his undivided attention.  
  
"I was sharing a home with one of my closest friends. Catarina. But then, well… let's just say events happened leading to her needing to take in a child, that she is now formally adopting. I felt it best to give them both time to adjust, alone."  
  
"Where do you live now?"  
  
"It's a temporary measure," Magnus says quickly, now worrying about what kind of impression he's making. "I meant to stay above my store for just a few weeks until I found somewhere. Those few weeks have turned into almost… eight months."  
  
"Is it… I mean, can you live there? It's safe and everything?"  
  
"It's fine," Magnus replies, smiling that Alec's first thought is one of _safety_. "I have a bed. A small stove. A _very_ small amount of closet space. But it's enough—for now."  
  
"I'll walk you back," Alec says with a nod of his head that says he's decided on the subject whether Magnus needs him to or not.  
  
"Oh, you don't have to—"  
  
"I'm going that way anyway. Don't live too far from you, I guess."  
  
Alec reels off the name of an apartment complex that Magnus knows, and it makes him wonder why they've never met before, even if there hasn't been any real reason for them to.  
  
"Have you lived there long?" Magnus asks, trying to remember if he's ever seen Alec in the neighborhood, and deciding he hasn't. He'd _remember_ , he thinks, for just how quickly Alec has caught his eye. Then scolds himself for it once again.  
  
"Not really. I think maybe four months? I'd just moved when I got this promotion at work. Think I unpacked my last box last weekend."  
  
"I supposed you haven't had a lot of time with your new role," Magnus says, smiling at Alec's groaned out, _no_ . "But you said things should be getting a little easier for you now?"  
  
"Yeah, they should," Alec agrees, smiling to himself. "I mean, it's not like I had the most active social life before all this. But it'll be good to just… leave on time for once. Not have to take work home every evening and all weekend."  
  
Magnus wants to know everything. He has a hundred questions clambering for attention all at once, but doesn't know if he should even start to ask. "Then. Perhaps we can meet for dinner sometime, since we live on each other's doorstep."  
  
Magnus forces himself to keep smiling as though he hasn't just blurted out what might be a terrible suggestion, and can't tell if the look of surprise on Alec's face is bigger than the one he feels on his own.  
  
"That… that'd be great," Alec says after a few very long seconds for Magnus. "You wanna… I mean… I got the impression Thursdays weren't all that busy for you?"  
  
"Thursday is great," Magnus says, attempting to keep the excitement from his voice.  
  
"Then I'll… maybe I can… maybe if I come by your store say around… seven? If you… if it's alright with you to… I mean, I still wanna buy some of that tea."  
  
"I'll be waiting," Magnus says, kicking himself immediately for sounding so keen.  
  
"I'll… I'll see you," Alec replies, glancing around them awkwardly and drawing Magnus' attention to the fact they are now stood outside his store.  
  
"I'll see you in a few days," Magnus agrees, watching Alec wave and turn away before letting himself in. Thinking this might be the best start to his week in an age.

* * *

Magnus' extra-careful dressing on Thursdays ramps up to an entire frenzy the morning of his and Alec's dinner, meaning he gets up even earlier than usual to be sure he has everything right. Alec has never shied away from the nail polish on his fingertips nor looked at his heavily-lined eyes with anything but kindness. He'd say _interest_ , but Magnus thinks that's probably a little too presumptuous, and just serves as a reminder that he must not think of this evening as a _date_.  
  
Alec might not even show. Might turn up early for his regular order of tea then walk away from him again completely forgetting the spark of excitement he's put in Magnus' heart. Not that Alec _knows_ about that spark, of course. It's taken all this time for Magnus to let himself acknowledge how attracted he is to Alec, and almost just as long to convince himself he isn't. His efforts to stop thinking things he really shouldn't be thinking involving Alec failed for the last time, he thinks, when Alec walked him home on Monday night.  
  
Magnus glances up at the clock over his door willing the hands to move faster, and picks up a compact to pointlessly fix his eye make-up yet again. Then sends a sigh of frustration up at the ceiling for feeling so out of his depth. Catarina thinks he's hilarious, of course, now that he finally confessed to her over lunch earlier in the week how much he's been thinking of Alec.  
  
It's been a while since he's let himself feel anything for anyone. There are people in his past that he would happily forget, and not one of them he can. He's sworn off relationships or anything resembling contact beyond friendship for what has to be years now. It's unfair that his first glimpse at Alec had him feeling things he's told himself he'd forgotten how to. Even if he has been trying to tell himself ever since that he doesn't feel anything for Alec at all.  
  
And he's thinking too hard, Magnus chides himself again, and thinking himself in circles. It was _him_ that suggested dinner, and Alec didn't say anything about this being anything beyond sharing a meal. In fact, in the length of time they've been talking, Alec hasn't had that much to say at all. But then neither has he, Magnus reminds himself, hoping suddenly that Alec is just as intrigued as he is.  
  
When the doorbell finally announces a customer, Magnus seethes under his breath for it not being Alec. It's Thursday, so there is no reason for anyone else to be here. But he stays behind his counter smiling, calling out for the woman who is browsing to let him know if there's anything she needs.  
  
Magnus is just grumbling to himself when the door swings open again, and this time it _is_ Alec, smiling warmly as he walks towards him.  
  
"Hey," he says, coming to lean on the end of the counter. "You still okay for dinner?"  
  
"Of course," Magnus replies, reaching beneath the counter for his tea and sliding it across. "We can go soon."  
  
Alec follows his eyes to the woman still browsing scented candles and stands more comfortably as he puts away his change. "Have you had a busy week?"  
  
"A little more than usual, yes. I had an additional order for some of my products as gifts for a bachelorette party that took up the last two evenings. I just had a courier pick them up this morning."  
  
"You're not too tired for—"  
  
"I'll be fine," Magnus reassures him wanting nothing to put Alec off. "Though I am starving."  
  
"Anywhere you feel like in particular?"  
  
"I don't mind anything, really."  
  
"I overheard a couple of students talking about this great new burger place a couple blocks from here," Alec says, leaning against the counter and giving Magnus time to admire the fit of his shirt over his folded arms. "Wanna give it a go?"  
  
"That sounds perfect," Magnus replies, gesturing for Alec to wait as he smiles at and serves his customer. Alec watches the entire transaction in silence, and only speaks again to ask about the rest of his day, once Magnus is locking up to leave.  
  
Alec gestures for a direction for them to take, and the bar he mentioned is so close they have little time to say anything at all. Alec holds the door open for him and speaks to their server, with Magnus not knowing if he's meaning to be chivalrous or if Alec is just being friendly.  
  
"I was thinking just this afternoon, that you and I don't know all that much about one another," Magnus says, hoping his words don't come out too rehearsed.  
  
"Well. I'm in no hurry this evening. Ask anything you want," Alec replies, staring at his menu in thought. "Though maybe let's start with, how the hell are we supposed to choose?"

Magnus reads over the various choices of burger on offer and puts a discreet hand on his stomach as it gurgles, reminding him it's been quite a while since lunch. "They do all sound pretty good."

"How do you feel about pickle?"

"...Favorable?"

"Well," Alec says, spinning the menu to show him, "I could go for this if you take the pickle?"

"...sure," Magnus manages to respond with once his words arrange into some kind of order, finding Alec's suggestion strangely intimate then telling himself he is an idiot for it.

"And you?"

"I… think I'll go with this one," he says, pointing at the classic burger on the menu and smiling as their server comes to take their order.

"So. Questions," Alec prompts the second they are alone again, absently playing with the salt shaker already in the center of the table.

Magnus freezes, all his planned questions assaulting him at once. He settles for what he hopes is an easy subject. "So, Alec. I know you have a sister."

"Izzy," Alec says immediately, his face softening in affection.

"Izzy. And is she a lawyer like your parents?"

"Oh. No, that's not really her thing at all," Alec says, stopping to snatch back the salt shaker as it threatens to topple over. "She's a pathologist."

"A pathologist," Magnus repeats, failing not to sound as impressed as he feels.

"A really, really good one," Alec adds with obvious pride. "She specializes in forensics."

"Do you have any other siblings?"  
  
"Uh. Two," Alec says, immediately looking uncomfortable but then shaking his head and shifting in his seat.  
  
"I'm sorry if that's—"  
  
"No. No, it's fine," Alec says with a small smile. "It's just… families, you know?"  
  
"I would say yes, only, I don't have much in the way of a family."  
  
"None at all?" Alec asks, his eyes widening in surprise, their conversation interrupted by their server returning with their drinks.  
  
"None," Magnus agrees, clinking his glass against Alec's when he holds it up, keeping the story as simple and clinical as he has always made it sound so the words don't hurt. Much, anyway. "My mother died when I was very young, and my father… well. It is best we don't think of him at all, wherever he is currently. I was raised, reluctantly, by a friend of my mother's until I was old enough to be made to leave."  
  
"I'm sorry," Alec says with pure contrition in his voice, and Magnus feels guilty for it.  
  
"It's not your fault."  
  
"But still."  
  
"It was a long time ago now," Magnus says, trying to be dismissive of something that has hurt him so much over the years, yet he still hasn't done anything to change. Alec’s look for him is too full of sympathy for Magnus to bear. Magnus pleads with him silently not to comment further on it, relieved when he first clenches his jaw then nods back.  
  
"My brother, Jace. He's… kind of adopted. Sort of like… his mom was a friend of my mom's, and she got into an accident when he was ten, and we… took him in."  
  
"That's… good of your family. Your parents," Magnus replies, certain that although he doesn't know much about Alec, his family would have embraced this _Jace_ far better than he was himself as a child.  
  
"Yeah. Yeah, it was. He's serving somewhere overseas."  
  
The blond man in the fatigues, Magnus thinks, remembering a glimpse of him on Alec's screensaver when he'd left his phone on the counter in his store. The man had been stood with an arm slung around the shoulders of Alec's sister, yet Magnus had lost sleep worrying if he might be a boyfriend to Alec.  
  
"I see."  
  
"And Max is… well. Max is a little younger than the rest of us. He's… he's at a boarding school."  
  
Magnus lets that sink in, puts the impressive apartment complex together with the fact that Alec's brother is at a boarding school, and comes up with _wealthy_ , though only hums to encourage him to keep talking.  
  
"We're… my parents are going through a really messy divorce, and we… it's just best he's not here to see it," Alec adds, and Magnus doesn't know what he can say to that.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"It's taking a long time because they won't stop _fighting_ ," Alec tells him looking exhausted at even just the thought of it.  
  
"So," Magnus says, racking his brains for a change of subject, "your work. How did you get into that?"  
  
"I got into a sports scholarship in New Jersey—"  
  
"For archery?" Magnus asks, surprised. He realizes he knows practically nothing at all about the sport and makes plans to look it up.  
  
"Yeah. There aren't many scholarships around for it, but there's a few. So I did that, and I studied sports management. Came back here, did a masters, and just… ended up working at the same place I studied."  
  
"That worked out well."  
  
"It did," Alec agrees. "I guess sometimes I wish I'd worked somewhere else first. Maybe tried something a little different. But I kind of lucked out with this promotion."  
  
"And you said it was unexpected?"  
  
"Extremely. But, now I've got it figured out, I'm sure it'll be okay. I'm enjoying it so far."  
  
They pause from what feels a little like a stilted conversation when their burgers are brought to the table, and after a shy gesture from Alec, Magnus slides the pickle across to his own plate.  
  
"So. What about you?"  
  
"You mean, how did I end up owning an apothecary store?" Magnus asks, carefully inspecting the burger to work out the best way to pick it up, and pleading with himself to not make an embarrassing mess.  
  
"You own it?" Alec says, looking surprised, pausing from apparently doing the same.  
  
"I do. I received a… fund, of sorts, from my father, that I was able to use to pay for my education, and when I first began my business," Magnus says, hoping Alec won't want more details because of all that involves. "And I didn't… well. Let's just say I never had the most conventional of upbringings. My mother was part of a coven along with the friend of hers that took me in. I learned about herbal remedies and teas and everything you see in my store through them—almost without trying—before I learned much of anything else."  
  
"Learning by osmosis," Alec teases, and half-dropping his burger in the process so there is a splash of the caramelized onion sauce up the side of his hand. "This is good."  
  
"It is," Magnus agrees, taking a bite and quickly swallowing. "Anyway. Once I had the opportunity, and of course the relevant qualifications so that I can prepare and sell these remedies legally, I bought my store. I have been working there for what now feels like a century."  
  
"You're looking pretty good for passing a centennial," Alec teases, and it breaks the strange stiffness between them, putting Magnus more at ease.  
  
"So, how did you come up with the name of your store?" Alec asks after they've shared details of their friends, and favorite TV shows, and just about everything else that seems to fall naturally from their mouths.  
  
"The Lucky Cat?" 

"Yeah."

"Well," Magnus says, hiding his blushes as a slice of onion shoots from the side of his burger hitting his plate. "I always wanted a cat as a child. Though the people who, I suppose you could say _fostered_ me, didn't like pets at all; particularly cats. And I've never truly got around to staying anywhere long enough to have a pet since."

He makes it sound like he's such an exotic _nomad_ , Magnus thinks, instead of the lonely person he is at times, who's never quite figured out where he fits. Or how to fully take down all the walls he's built up to protect himself every time he's let himself get hurt.

"You could get a cat _for_ The Lucky Cat," Alec suggests, also struggling with his burger, though seeming much less bothered about making a mess.

"The only cat in my store currently is a temperamental Maneki-neko, who judges me for my every move from the counter. And besides, I don't suppose all customers would enjoy having a cat weaving between their legs as they look for whatever it is they want to buy."

"Why's it temperamental?" Alec asks with an apologetic wince for his question being around a mouthful of burger.

"I have no idea. It just continually grinds to a halt or drains its battery far quicker than it should do. I should really get around to just… throwing it out."

"Definitely time to get a real cat," Alec says, letting out a disgruntled protest as he bites into his burger again, and the whole thing slips in his hands.

Magnus laughs and passes him a wad of napkins, watching him wipe his mouth and thinking just how relaxed this evening feels when he'd been planning and overplanning every moment of it throughout much of the day. And week. "Perhaps."  
  
"And those things you were making for the weddings favors—or for this… bachelorette party. What were they?"  
  
"A compress for dark circles," Magnus says with a gentle prod to the side of his eye. "A tea including lemongrass to help soothe a hangover. A sample of shower gel, and shampoo, and other such things."  
  
"That sounds like a lot of work."  
  
"It was a little for some things, and not so much for others. Though I was very happy to put the last items in the final gift box," Magnus admits with an unconscious smile. Groaning internally for the mess that is still scattered over the poor excuse of an apartment he's living in and thinking his weekend might be spent attempting to clear up. Then remembers that he has better plans, and pushes that cleaning on to Monday.  
  
"And how does it work?" Alec asks, dropping his arms to rest on the edge of the table and seeming genuinely curious.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You said before, that you have clients. For all these remedies for yours. And I saw you, the other night—"  
  
"I have a website that is linked to the store. Much of what I do is through that."  
  
"Sounds like you're always working," Alec says, picking up his burger again and continuing to eat.  
  
"And sometimes, it feels like it," Magnus agrees, "though not this weekend. After this week, I feel as though I deserve a full two days off."  
  
"You don't open Saturdays?"  
  
"Normally, yes. But my friend Dot will be taking care of the store. She often does, anyway."  
  
"Are you… going away somewhere?" Alec asks, and there's a change in his tone that Magnus doesn't know what to make of.  
  
"Just a weekend to myself in a hotel with a spa. A client of mine has been using one of my facial treatments there for years, and every now and then they insist on treating me. It is their hotel," he adds, thinking he hasn't made it clear.  
  
"That sounds… good," Alec replies, that tone in his voice disappearing. "Relaxing, anyway."  
  
"What about you? Any plans for the weekend?"  
  
"My sister wants me to go to a party."  
  
Magnus can't hold in his burst of laughter for hearing the thorough reluctance in Alec's voice, and has to clear his throat with a sip of his drink. "I'm sorry. It's just, the look on your face—"  
  
"Izzy's constantly trying to get me to _have a life_ ," Alec says, rolling his eyes. "Apparently, a party is the answer to, well. Just about everything."  
  
"It's not your thing?" Magnus asks, swiping away the casual thoughts he's had of taking Alec dancing some time.  
  
"It's not that," Alec says with a shake of his head, "I don't… I don't mind. It's just… I don't like being forced into stuff."  
  
"What is she trying to force you into?" Magnus asks, intrigued immediately for the blush on Alec's cheeks and the way he darts his gaze elsewhere.  
  
"The last two times she's invited me to a party, she's tried to set me up with someone. And it's… _embarrassing_. And awkward."  
  
"I have to admit. I have never enjoyed being set up myself."  
  
"She's got worse since I…"  
  
Magnus is officially intrigued by the troubled frown that furrows his brow, but doesn't say a thing, just sits patiently waiting for Alec to find his words.  
  
"I kind of… I sort of admitted I… I came out, about six months ago. And ever since, she… I mean, she's _supportive_ , but… this is all still very new."  
  
His heart is thudding in excitement but Magnus fights to keep his expression neutral, and wants to find a way to put Alec at ease. "I suppose it's been so long since I admitted I was bisexual, that I… one thing about my upbringing I suppose, was that it was something that was never seen as a problem."  
  
Alec looks _interested_ , Magnus is sure he does, but doesn't want to push it, especially for the adorable blush that's creeping further over his cheeks and down his neck.  
  
"I've never—I mean I've never really… I dated before this—women—but I… I guess I've never found the time for a real relationship. With work, and… studying, and… I just haven't."  
  
Tonight really is the time for revelations, Magnus thinks, watching the way Alec folds into himself, and assumes he must fear his reaction.

"Alexan—"

"It's not like I've never _done_ stuff," Alec adds, his face lighting up even more with that adorable blush as he looks away. Magnus is intrigued, his stomach tensing as he tries to keep his voice neutral, not sure what he's expecting to hear.

"Okay."

"I… when I was studying, and… sometimes when I'm away competing, I've… met up with… with guys. Never here though. Not… I maybe kissed a couple of guys, but I… Yeah..."

And now his interest is officially piqued. The image Magnus keeps carefully crafting of Alec is shifting and morphing before his very eyes tonight. And there surely has to be a reason that he's _sharing_ so much.

"Well—"

"It was all, uh, _safe_ , though," Alec blurts out, then looks thoroughly mortified with himself. "I don't just… I mean I…"

"Alexander," Magnus finally gets out, raising his voice a little to stop Alec from spiraling, even reaching out to tap his fingers against the back of Alec’s hand, telling himself he isn't thrilled to have an excuse to touch him. "You don't have to explain yourself to me. Or anyone."

"I know," Alec agrees with an awkward smile, "I just didn't want you to think that I… that I..."

Whatever Alec wants to say has escaped him once again. Magnus tries not to focus on Alec wanting him to know these things about him, or what that might mean, and clears his throat so he can take his turn to talk.  
  
"I've had my fair share of relationships," Magnus finds himself saying, "some good, and some… not so good. It has been a while since I even wanted to—I too have friends that are intent on attempting to set me up. I know what it's like, Alexander."  
  
"It's horrible," Alec groans, seeming less uncomfortable. "And I don't know why she picks the guys she does. It's like she's looking for some kind of… I don't know. Real life action figure, or something for me. I don't want that."  
  
_What do you want_ , Magnus longs to ask, but can't.  
  
"Here's to meddlesome friends and family," he says instead, holding up his glass for Alec to knock against.  
  
Alec smiles at the gesture and copies it, his eyes falling on the nail polish on Magnus' fingers.  
  
"I suppose you must wonder about all this," Magnus says as he gestures at himself, concerned enough for a few seconds that his appearance might come across as too much. The make-up, jewelry, and mohawk have become a part of his armor that most days he doesn't think he could leave the house without.  
  
"I guess you wear it because it looks good on you," Alec replies with an easy shrug that releases the breath Magnus didn't know he was holding on to. Then he holds it again for the lingering once-over Alec gives him.  
  
"So, what is your plan should your sister—Izzy—have someone in mind for you at this party?" Magnus asks, arguing with himself that he isn't looking for reassurance that Alec isn't interested in anyone else.    
  
"Hide? Pretend I'm sick? I think I'm coming down with something," Alec adds, dropping his voice a little and pinching at his throat.  
  
"You know, I have a remedy for that," Magnus teases.  
  
"And here was me thinking we were becoming _friends_ ," Alec teases right back.  
  
Magnus beams for it, and chides himself for getting entirely too giddy in Alec's company.  
  
The rest of their evening passes in easy conversation, with Magnus laughing hard for the stories Alec shares of his siblings, and Alec doing the same as Magnus does similar about his friends. It's good, and comfortable; this might not be a date they're on, but Magnus hasn't felt this at ease with someone for the longest time. Or as attracted to them, he adds just as they arrive outside his store with Alec insisting on walking him back again, but pushes that thought to one side.  
  
"So. I hope you successfully avoid whatever your sister has in store for you," Magnus says as they come to a stop. He wants to make a joke about hoping she makes a better choice in whoever she attempts to set Alec up with, but doesn't want that to be something that happens at all, so keeps quiet.  
  
"And I hope you have a relaxing weekend free from… too much work," Alec replies, his smile a little shy.  
  
"I'm sure I will."  
  
"You could… tell me about it, if you want," Alec adds, blurting the words out and clearly cursing himself for it.  
  
"Alec?"  
  
"I meant," Alec says, his hand twitching nervously down by his side, "that if you wanted to… if you get _bored_ or anything, or—"  
  
"We could exchange numbers," Magnus finishes for him, hoping that's what Alec means, and once again pleading with himself to not get too excited.  
  
"Exactly," Alec says looking thoroughly relieved, and already pulling out his cell phone. He hands it to Magnus to put in his number, and nods when he turns the phone around to show he's miss-calling himself.  
  
"Have a good weekend, Alec," Magnus says once they've added their names to their contacts.  
  
"And you."  
  
Alec nods to say he'll wait until Magnus is inside then waves as he turns away. Magnus ducks behind his counter and makes his way up the small staircase to the back of the store, not noticing the mess of anything as he slumps down on his bed with a smile on his face, already planning what to say in a text.

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

_"Sorry, Magnus. There's no way I can start this week without anything but coffee. Lots of it. Your tea's just gonna have to wait."_

Magnus grins as the picture in the message unpixelates to show a large cup of take-out coffee at what he presumes is Alec's desk.

 _"Are you still recovering from Saturday?"_ he sends back, laughing in memory of the mournful messages he’d received from Alec just yesterday morning when he was finally awake.

 _"Two-day hangover. Send help_. _"_

Gladly, Magnus thinks, tempted to put a remedy together for Alec's recovery from his sister's party and deliver it to him in person. Though he talks himself out of it telling himself he's too presumptuous and sends back some advice instead.

_"Keep hydrated. Fruit juice if you can; it's the fructose that is said to help metabolize alcohol."_

_"...I'll go back down to the cafeteria and get a smoothie or something. Thanks, Magnus."_

Magnus smiles at his phone rereading the messages they've exchanged over the weekend like he hasn't already got them word-perfect in his head, then stares out over his store and tells himself it's time to get to work.

He has fifteen new orders that came in just yesterday so spends most of the morning gathering and preparing as many of the ingredients he can. There are several customers, both regulars and new faces, and Magnus has his laptop open at his counter so he can clear some admin tasks as well.

Magnus is, unlike Alec, well-rested from his weekend, relaxed from numerous spa treatments and two nights of sleep in a luxurious bed. He's eaten the best of food and sampled some incredible wine, indulged in doing very little other than being at peace with himself for once. And getting to know Alec a little more, of course, thoroughly delighted by some of his texts.

It is so _easy_ getting to know Alec. Once the two of them get talking on a subject there seems a never-ending amount of things for them both to share. There is teasing, and affection, and even, Magnus thinks, a little flirting. Though as he sits at his counter grinning to himself at remembering some of the messages they've sent, Magnus blushes a touch for thinking that the majority of that flirting is from _him_.

Grimacing for the idea that his behavior is too much for Alec, Magnus forces himself to put down his phone and tries not to keep glancing in its direction in hope of further messages from him. But between his customers, orders, and keeping everything up to date, Magnus is soon distracted enough again to stop worrying over his choices of words. Not too much, anyway.

By the time lunchtime arrives Magnus is starving. He has a slice of quiche that he bought from the bakery opposite first thing this morning and devours it within minutes, almost wishing he had a second slice. He runs upstairs to boil some water for tea, keeping an ear out for any customers that come in so he doesn’t miss anybody. Though he still manages to miss one, apparently, for finding a man waiting for him at his counter when he comes back down with his teapot.

"Hello again, Steven," Magnus says in greeting, having already seen him a few hours earlier when he'd served him in the bakery.

"Hey, Magnus," Steven says, giving him a smile that is mostly a grimace. "I'm sorry to rush in on you like this."

"What happened?" Magnus asks, putting his teapot down on the side and clucking in sympathy when Steven lays his arm over the counter.

Along the inside of his wrist and even up the side of his hand is a large, painful-looking red stripe. Magnus carefully turns his hand to look it over better, wincing in apology as Steven flinches for his touch. "Oh, Steven. How did you do this?"

"The panini machine," Steven replies dejectedly, slumping against the counter. "Milk was steaming on the coffee machine and started hissing, cash register started beeping at the same time, I turned around quickly and, well. _This_ happened."

"Did you run it under cold water?"

"For five minutes straight," Steven agrees, flexing his fingers and grimacing at his hand.

"Well. We'll soon clear this up."

Magnus gestures for Steven to wait and comes around the counter, pulling him a jar of aloe vera from a shelf.

"It would be a day when we're really understaffed, wouldn't it?" Steven says, sighing in relief as Magnus dabs the gel on for him.

"The timing _could_ be better."

"This is gonna feel really weird with gloves on," Steven says, watching Magnus work.

"Well, even if that is the case, it's still essential to keep this wound as clean as you can. Apply this as often as you are able. And if all else fails, you can always do the same with honey. Though that might be even worse inside a glove."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yes," Magnus agrees, "both aloe vera and honey have anti-inflammatory properties that will help reduce the sting and swelling of this burn. Aside from that, if you aren't allergic, you could take something like ibuprofen—though not on an empty stomach."

"Look at you. Recommending something _chemical_ ," Steven teases, and Magnus smiles for the numerous conversations they've had about medicines in the past.  

"Everything serves its purpose," Magnus replies, sealing the lid back on the jar, and nodding in thanks when Steven slides the money for it across the counter.

"Well. Thanks, Magnus. I'd best get back."

"I hope it's not too awful for you today," Magnus says, waving as Steven says his goodbyes.

Steven coming into his store isn't the only thing he missed while making tea, Magnus realizes as he adds some ingredients to his teapot, belatedly noticing he's missed a message on his phone as well. He sinks into his chair and snatches the phone up from the counter, smiling in anticipation of a message from Alec.

The message is nothing but a missed call. Magnus looks at the unfamiliar number, counting the digits as he swipes it open. And though he knows there are all sorts of cold calling companies out there who could be responsible for this one, something in his gut tells him this might be his father.

Magnus presses the phone back on the counter glaring at the screen, then checks the area code which puts the call as somewhere in Quanzhou. Magnus knows his father has a business address in the city, in fact, he has the number stored in his contacts from the last time he'd tried to call him from there. Magnus scrolls through his phone glaring at what seems to be the confirmation that it might have been his father trying to call him, half-wishing he'd just left a message so he might know when he'd try to call again.

The last time he'd heard from his father was also from a number overseas. That had been in Switzerland; Magnus now has a mental map of all the places his father does business across the world. Thankfully he hasn't been to New York for some time; in fact, the last time he'd seen him was across this very counter just a few months after he'd opened his store. Goading and taunting him, attempting to manipulate him as it's felt like he's done Magnus' entire life.

Magnus' good mood has gone. A productive morning, starting his day with messages from Alec, and knowing that he's hopefully helped Steven get back to work without pain; this has all been wiped away now with this one, stupid missed call. That he can't know for sure if is his father or not, yet still _does_.

He gets back to work, finishing his orders with so much less of a spring in his step. Magnus is taunted by random flashes of memories of his father, spiraling himself into thinking and feeling all sorts of things he's told himself he's forgotten.

By the time he's finished for the day, Magnus is in the worst of moods. He is slamming bottles and jars back into place on his shelves, and scowling at his laptop when the notes he's making don't save as quick as he wants them to. Everything is an irritation, and even Alec, who has both knowingly and unknowingly cheered Magnus up numerous times over the last few weeks, is not able to today. Mostly, Magnus thinks, because he's been too busy to message him since this morning.

He needs a _drink_ , Magnus decides, closing the laptop lid with far more force than is necessary. He's just making his way out from his counter to head to the first bar he can find, when the bell over the door sounds again, and Steven from the bakery is ducking back in looking much happier than earlier.

"Hey. I caught you," he says, coming towards Magnus with a paper bag extended in his good hand.

"What's this?"

"It's just a couple of slices of lemon drizzle cake to say thank you for this," Steven replies, waving his other hand. It's still red as Magnus would expect after only a few hours, but Steven seems to be holding it more comfortably, so Magnus can assume he's on the mend.

"You didn't need—"

"But I wanted to," Steven says, cutting off his protest as he flexes his fingers. "Enjoy. _Eat_. I gotta get back; we're still swamped. Thanks, Magnus."

Magnus manages to get out a _thank you_ in reply before Steven is ducking out the door again. He looks down at the grease-spotting paper and pulls back the corner to look inside, sinking back down in his chair with a huff. With a glance at the clock over the door and another back down at the cake in front of him, Magnus decides lemon drizzle cake is an excellent alternative to dinner after the day he's had. He sighs around his first mouthful and decides to shut the rest of the world out, at least for a few minutes.

* * *

They've been texting for a couple of weeks. It's constant, innocuous things between him and Alec, with inquiries after days or sharing details of how work is going, as well as countless times they've shared random pictures of the things around them just because they wanted to. Magnus loves every message, sure that it's been years since he's looked this much at his phone.

They met for a drink last Tuesday evening in a bar Magnus had noticed having a renovation and used that as an excuse for them to see what it was now like. Alec had practically run in already apologizing for coming straight from training—presenting Magnus with a view he did _not_ object to when he threw on a sweater over the vest he'd been wearing flashing him his stomach in the process.

There are also possible plans for another meal together next week at a restaurant that is Alec's suggestion, saying it was one that was recommended by someone from the leisure center. Magnus is loving Alec's company and having something else to focus on besides work. And as long as it's been since he's let himself feel anything for anybody, he thinks it might be just as long since he last allowed himself to make a new _friend_.  
  
But Magnus is falling for Alec, even if he's been adamant that he won't let himself go through all this again. It's not been that long, and there's not been that much between them, really. But Magnus looks forward to every moment of time he gets with Alec whether that's face to face or over the phone. He's the reason there is a permanent smile on his face that Catarina has noticed and teases him for constantly, and is also why just yesterday at lunch Luke nodded knowingly at his phone for the way Magnus snatched it up when hearing a message alert.  
  
Groaning to himself, Magnus checks his phone for probably the fifth time this hour, telling himself he isn't frowning for it being Thursday afternoon and there being no sign of Alec at all. Allowing himself to admit he has these _feelings_ has unleashed more than just want, and desire, and appreciating Alec's company. It's allowed self-doubt and second-guessing to creep in as well. Magnus reminds himself that not everyone in his past has been cruel to him, and tries to believe that his future won't invite any more of those who are.  
  
Alec isn't cruel. Inexperienced and incredibly devoted to his work and family, perhaps, but kind, and funny, intelligent, and interesting as well. And, Magnus adds, he's _sure_ he is interested, already envisioning a thousand ways to broach the subject without scaring him off. But Magnus doesn't know what level of interest that might be. Is he intrigued because Magnus is _different_ , curious because he tries to be kind, or looking for someone to guide him a little in something that is so new to him—or none of those things at all, and is just looking for someone to talk to?  
  
Magnus checks his phone again, already composing a message along the lines of, _is everything okay_ that he hopes doesn't come across as too needy, when the bell over the door puts his shoulders at ease, only for him to be tensing up immediately again.  
  
"Alec?"  
  
"Hey," Alec says dejectedly as walks over to then slumps against the counter, only to lean back in the gap against the wall and let out a heavy sigh.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"I had a hell of a morning at work. Had to go to my parent's house for lunch to referee them arguing. Took a call from Max at school because he got into a fight with another kid. And I'm gonna be at work 'till late because I've lost about two hours listening to my dad trying to justify his behavior."  
  
"That… sounds like a terrible day," Magnus agrees, smiling softly when Alec drops his head forward from glaring up at the ceiling and nods.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Not your fault," Alec replies with a sharp shake of his head. "I just wanted to stop by on the way back to the university. I've still got enough tea for the week; needed the caffeine with how bad it's been."  
  
"You mentioned in your text yesterday that it's been busy there as well?" Magnus asks, smiling in sympathy, thinking that it's unreasonably unfair that for someone looking so dejected, Alec looks as cute as hell.  
  
"Yeah. There's been a major falling out between the soccer team and the basketball team. Honestly, Magnus. I've been refereeing people all _week_."  
  
"Well. There is no need for any refereeing here," Magnus assures him, smiling a little at the thought of Alec just coming to visit instead of buying anything. Then having to rein it in for the idea that Alec might find _comfort_ in his company, for all the ideas _that_ puts in his mind.  
  
"I know," Alec agrees with an easier smile. "Thank you."

Alec is fidgety as Magnus watches him, picking up a flyer on his counter one moment to scowl over, then straightening up the incense holder the next. Magnus itches to reach out and cover his hand with his own, to tell him to stop and relax. But then Alec is gesturing towards the Maneki-neko and moving around the counter to pick it up, and Magnus is watching, wondering what he's about to do next.

"Is he still not working?"

"Well," Magnus says, watching the careful way Alec is cradling the cat, "we haven't demanded a change of battery yet today, so that is something."

Alec hums, turning the cat over in quiet inspection, pointing at the casing at the back. "Mind if I take a look?"

"By all means."

Magnus even finds a small screwdriver set beneath the counter that Alec slides one from, gentle with the cat as though it is a real, living thing. Magnus tells himself he is neither enamored by Alec's gentleness nor wondering what other clever things he can do with his hands. But by the time Alec has the casing back on after making what looked like only minor adjustments, Magnus is having the hardest time not smiling in sheer delight.

"Just one of the fixtures was loose," Alec says, carefully putting the cat back in its place. "I think that's why the arm was sticking, and why the battery kept draining."

"Thank you, Alexander," Magnus replies, half-wanting to scold himself for not thinking of such a simple solution himself. He's so thrilled that Alec even remembered him sharing the story of his temperamental Maneki-neko enough to fix it without even the slightest suggestion, that he really is in danger of splitting his face for smiling so hard, and has to change the subject.

"So. How long do you think you'll need to work tonight?"  
  
"I guess until at least eight. And Izzy's staying with me. She's got her own place at my parent's—a separate apartment—but when they're like this, I can't blame her for not wanting to be around. But I could… Magnus, I could just… I just want a few hours where I don't have to think about people fighting, or arguing. And I don't want to have to go over everything my parents said earlier with Izzy either."

Should he offer his own company, Magnus debates internally for all of a few seconds, before a sorrowful sigh from Alec makes his mind up for him.

"Well. I can't promise much company. I have an order I need to prepare this evening, and had decided to reward myself with takeout. But if you think you would—"  
  
"Actually, that sounds great," Alec says without letting him finish, his eyes lighting up in hope. "I can pick something up on the way."  
  
Magnus sucks in a breath for how quickly their conversation has turned around, excited that Alec might have been hinting to spend some time with him. He tells himself not to read too much into it even if that's exactly what his mind is already doing.  
  
"Well, okay, Alec."  
  
"You're sure you don't mind?" Alec asks, fixing a smile on his face that says he's fine if the answer is negative.  
  
"Not at all. Though I can't promise much of a view. There isn't a lot of space up there," Magnus says with a vague wave up at the ceiling.  
  
"I won't be in the way?"  
  
"No. It's not _that_ small," Magnus smiles, making a quick mental list of what he needs to tidy away to make as much room as possible. "It's just that there is limited storage space and it is mostly open plan. Everything ends up… everywhere. I intend to take some time soon to look for somewhere else to live, but I have been telling myself that for months."  
  
"Then. What am I picking up?”  
  
“There's a really good Chinese place not too far from here.”  
  
“Jade Wolf?” Alec asks, laughing when Magnus agrees. “I just feel like there's all these places we both know but haven't ever seen each other in before now.”  
  
"I suppose we lead quite different lives," Magnus says, and though there is no need for it, excitement stirs stronger in his gut.  
  
"And are both pretty busy," Alec says with a smile. "What am I getting you?"  
  
Magnus thinks about his usual order and shrugs. "Surprise me. Perhaps text when you are leaving there so I can come downstairs to let you in."  
  
"You have much to do for the rest of the afternoon here?" Alec asks, his fingers drumming absently on the counter.  
  
"Just a small amount of paperwork. The reason I can't make what I need to here—a paste for joint pain—is both the need for a refrigerator, and the smell."  
  
"The smell?"  
  
"One of the main ingredients is turmeric," Magnus smiles, "though don't worry; that particular part of the recipe should be completed before you arrive. Hopefully, all you will smell is coconut."  
  
"I don't mind," Alec assures him, still tapping at the counter before glancing over at the clock. "I'd best get going. I'll see you later?"  
  
Magnus nods and watches Alec leave, already going back to his mental list of what he needs to tidy to make upstairs look presentable, and debating finishing early so he can get everything done.

* * *

His apartment isn't _that_ small, Magnus tells himself again as he surveys his surroundings once he's closed up. It occupies the full size of the main floor of his store beneath it, with the kitchen, living area, and bedroom an open plan, and a small bathroom off to the side. If he made the time to buy more furniture he'd have more closet space, or perhaps if he would stop buying clothes instead of closets, he would have more space overall. 

Either way, he is careful to keep the smell of his ingredients far away from those clothes, masking it with scented candles dotted around that he hopes Alec won't think are done for the purpose of making things _romantic_ , even if a tiny part of lighting them is.

With a wistful glance over the long dining room table that is covered in jars and pots with remedies in various stages of preparation, Magnus decides he is as ready as he can be, and that there is little else he can currently do to make more space.

Magnus lights the main area with a soft, muted lamp, happy to turn off the harsher overhead one for the kitchen. He takes a hurried shower and changes into fresh clothes, carefully reapplying eyeliner and checking his hair over before giving his treatment a final stir and slotting it into the fridge.  
  
Magnus is just checking the room over a final time when his phone announces Alec is on his way. He inhales deep, pleased with the scent of the apartment and glad he's had time to clear the small fold up table so they at least have somewhere to eat dinner. He's put the slightly unsteadier of the two chairs to one side for himself, and only wishes hard for a better setting for his evening with Alec for a few more seconds, before making his way downstairs to open the door.  
  
Alec is waiting for him, huddling into his jacket against the cold.  
  
"I didn't keep you waiting too long, did I?" Magnus asks as he ushers him in and takes the bags of food from Alec's hands.  
  
"Not at all," Alec replies as he follows him in and up the stairs.  
  
Magnus' stomach knots for Alec's close proximity in his personal space, and he demands to himself that he stop overthinking. "Did you finish everything you needed to at work?"  
  
"I did," Alec says as they climb the final stair and Magnus closes the door behind them, gesturing towards the table. "Tomorrow should, thankfully, be pretty easy now I've got everything done."  
  
"That's good," Magnus says as he plates up their food, his stomach rumbling now for how hungry he is.  
  
"I, uh… I bought wine," Alec adds, pulling the bottle from where it’s tucked in the crook of his arm and startling Magnus as he steps up behind him in the kitchen to put the bottle on the small counter space.  
  
"Oh. Thank you," Magnus replies, stuck for what else to say because his mind is on loop screaming at him that this evening is looking more and more like a _date_.  
  
"I hope that's okay?"  
  
"It's perfect," Magnus assures him, reaching up on a shelf for a couple of glasses. "I would give you a tour of the place, but… this is pretty much it."  
  
Alec follows the sweep of his arm anyway and looks around them in interest. "It's great."  
  
"It's _small_."  
  
"But it's still great," Alec insists. "You have… maybe it's not ideal, but you have everything you need. Though I don't think I wanna know how the hell you got that bed up here on that staircase."  
  
Both of them turn to look at the bed wedged in the corner of the room. It isn't huge, but it does have a heavy, solid frame.  
  
"Magic," Magnus replies leaning in to whisper conspiratorily, pleased when it makes Alec smile.  
  
The table is far too small for them both, particularly with Alec's long legs that don't really fit beneath it. But they make do, tucking in together as they begin to eat.  
  
"So. This thing you're making. This paste. Is it done?"  
  
"Almost," Magnus agrees, "I just need to let it settle for a little longer, and then transfer it over into a couple of jars. I hope you don't mind?"  
  
"Not at all," Alec replies, shaking his head and nudging a plate they're sharing sides from towards him. "I… I'm kind of interested in how it all works."  
  
"The paste?"  
  
"All of it, really, but yeah. Starting with the paste."  
  
"Well," Magnus says, taking a sip of his wine, "turmeric is the main active ingredient. It is an effective anti-inflammatory that can be taken orally or put straight on to the affected area in this paste. I have a client who is a martial arts trainer who frequently has difficulty with his knees."  
  
"And you can just… spread this stuff on?" Alec asks in surprise.  
  
"It's best when wrapped up and kept in place with something like food wrap, but yes."  
  
"So. If I were to put some on my shoulder—"  
  
"You're injured?" Magnus asks, not meaning his voice to come out so alarmed.  
  
"It's fine," Alec says with a wave of his hand, "it just aches sometimes because of the archery. I've been doing it all my life without too much injury, but sometimes it just… aches."  
  
"Then. You should take a sample of this batch and let me know what you think."  
  
"But your client—"  
  
"I always make a little too much," Magnus says, shaking his head. "Sometimes I give away free samples."  
  
"If you're sure."  
  
"Of course," Magnus replies, nudging their shared plate for Alec to take the final spring roll, sure he can't eat anything else himself.  
  
"Can I… watch you prepare it?" Alec asks, helping Magnus clear their table.  
  
"Of course. Though there is little to see now."  
  
Magnus makes a point of explaining all the ingredients used, trying to ignore how closely Alec is pressed in beside him in the kitchen for how little space there is. His arm is warm where it knocks against his own to reach out for the lid of the jar he's filling, and his palm warmer still when it grips around his shoulder in thanks when Magnus passes him a sample to take home.  
  
"Where is the pain?" Magnus asks, tilting his chin towards Alec's shoulder, guessing it's his right for the slight stiffness he holds himself with sometimes when he sees him after training.  
  
"Here," Alec says, tracing out along the join of the socket and nodding when Magnus gestures to be allowed to touch. "It's not bad. Doesn't hurt all the time or anything. But when I've been training a lot, and work's been busy, and I haven't been sleeping—"  
  
"It aches," Magnus finishes for him, imagining the uncomfortable heat of it and itching to soothe Alec even if he isn't in pain right now. "Smooth a little of this paste over the area and wrap it if you can. Let me know if it helps."  
  
"I will," Alec says, smiling as Magnus draws his fingers away, then standing awkwardly as though he doesn't know if he should leave or not.  
  
"Do you want to finish this wine with me?" Magnus asks, waving towards the table. "I know there isn't a lot of space for us to sit—"  
  
"That'd be great," Alec says with a smile, already walking over and sitting back down.  
  
Magnus sits and pours the rest of the wine into their glasses, awkward for the sight of the bed out of the corner of his eye now that they've finished eating and Alec being so close. His mind fills with all kinds of scenarios about Alec being on that bed with him, and all the other thoughts he's had of Alec when alone in that bed that have led to things he really doesn't think Alec wants to know about. Magnus shakes his head to clear them all away, turning his chair so he doesn't have to look.  
  
"How long will your sister be staying with you?"  
  
"Only until the weekend," Alec replies as he reaches out with his glass to clink against Magnus'. "She's got some weekend away planned with Clary. Some… girl's weekend."  
  
"Clary?"  
  
"Clary's my… she's Jace's fiancee. The… she was in that cafe when I ran into you. They got engaged before he went on his first tour, and… it's a complicated relationship," Alec says, frowning as though he's not sure how to explain. "But she and Izzy get on well."  
  
"And you… don't?"  
  
"It's not that, exactly," Alec says, frowning a little deeper. "It was just… they weren't together all that long before he was deployed. Only a few months, really. But Jace was kind of… he was kind of insistent we take her in. Treat her like family, really. It just seemed like too soon, and I was suspicious, but. I think we're growing on one another after all this time."  
  
"It must be difficult."  
  
"It was before my parents started fighting," Alec adds, absently playing with his glass. "It—my dad's been having an affair. It's kind of ripped us apart as a family, with extended family taking sides and a lot of really unfair blame being put on my mom. Izzy knew about it a while ago, but kept it to herself wanting Dad to be honest about it. Mom found out and told me and Jace when he was back, but didn't really talk to Dad. And when they did start talking, it was more… constant yelling. Max is too young to have to deal with it all, so they sent him away."  
  
"That sounds even more complicated," Magnus says, hoping his voice comes out sympathetic.  
  
"It's crazy," Alec says with an exasperated sigh. "They clearly don't love each other anymore; I kind of get the impression they never did all that much with everything they've been saying. And because they're both lawyers the whole process should be easy, but… it isn't."  
  
"I can't even imagine what it must be that you are all dealing with," Magnus says, worried he's repeating himself.  
  
"Yeah," Alec agrees with another sigh and smiling. "Anyway. I don't wanna bore you with all the details—"  
  
"It's not boring—"  
  
"But still. It's… messy."  
  
"Most families are," Magnus replies, wondering what he can offer as a subject change to distract Alec. He leans a little backward for a frame on his dining table behind all his pots and jars. "This is Catarina and Ragnor. My two oldest, and closest friends."  
  
"Catarina's the one who's adopting, right?" Alec says, smiling in the photo.  
  
"She is. That is also a complicated family situation, but she is coping with it exceptionally well. And Madzie," Magnus adds, leaning back for another photo, "is adorable."  
  
"She looks it," Alec agrees as he strokes his thumb over the glass.  
  
"Ragnor lived here in New York until just over a year ago, when he was asked to go back to England after a family death. There were issues with the estate, and the _will_ , which Ragnor will eventually benefit from. But again, it's… complicated."  
  
"To families," Alec says with a soft laugh, clinking their glasses together again.  
  
"To families," Magnus echoes, nodding back.  
  
Their conversation turns to their weekends, and Magnus' curiosity about Alec competing in archery gets the better of him, with Alec shuffling around the table and using Magnus' tablet to show him some photos of his last competition. Alec is poised and determined through every shot, the intensity in his expression as he releases his arrows making Magnus' stomach knot and leaving him shifting in discomfort. Purely for imaging that intensity in other situations that involve them together and a lot less clothes.  
  
"Do you do any sport?" Alec asks as he hands the tablet back but doesn't move his chair away.  
  
"Tai chi."  
  
Magnus holds still as Alec looks him over, pretending not to notice.  
  
"What's that like?"  
  
"It's… I suppose it's peaceful. And ordered. Structured. Though still beautiful; I have been practicing almost all my life."  
  
"We have some classes at the university, and I tried a couple when I was studying."  
  
"It's not for you?"  
  
"I need something a little more physical," Alec replies, screwing his face up in apology. "I need a punchbag, and sparring, and… there's a gym I use sometimes. A lot of the time, actually. But it's mostly stuff to help me with archery."  
  
"And do you train people? Students, I mean?"  
  
"Very occasionally. Most of my role now is purely administrative, which is good I guess. But sometimes I help out. I need to be out on the field doing something practical at least a few times a month, otherwise, I go stir crazy."  
  
"Well, you look like you do a lot of training," Magnus replies, forgetting himself and letting his eyes linger a little too long.  
  
Alec blushes for it and averts his eyes but doesn't add anything, though his mouth does stay curled up into a smile.  
  
"And your family? Are they all… active?" Magnus asks, grimacing to himself over his choice of words.  
  
"Pretty much," Alec replies, listing off the various sports they all participate in and in the process leaving Magnus feeling lazy even though he's anything but.  
  
"That's good. I think my weekend will consist of whatever arts and crafts Madzie demands we do on Saturday, and a lazy day on Sunday. Perhaps I'll go back to the cafe with a book."  
  
"I like that cafe," Alec tells him, "never been in there for anything but takeout stuff, but their food is great. And the coffee."  
  
"It is."  
  
"Magnus," Alec says then, blurting his name out as he looks away, "maybe I… maybe I can return this. Dinner."  
  
"What do you mean?"

"Well," Alec says, still not looking at him, "we talked about getting dinner sometime next week."

"We did," Magnus replies, his stomach turning in excited knots, unconsciously holding his breath as he waits for Alec to speak.

"So do you want to come to my place for dinner next week?" Alec says in a blast of words, his fingers drumming nervously against the stem of his glass. "Instead of us going out somewhere? I'm not… I mean, I can _cook_ , but nothing all that fancy. And I—"  
  
"I would love that," Magnus replies before Alec can stumble over any more words, excitement flaring through him that at least on this occasion he doesn't try to rein in.  
  
"Really?"  
  
Alec sounds so hopeful and relieved, that it makes Magnus' stomach knot again.  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Does Tuesday work for you?"  
  
"It does," Magnus agrees, already working out a mental calendar. "Do you want me to bring anything?"  
  
"Only yourself. I'll text you my address," Alec adds, already picking up his phone and quickly writing him a message.  
  
"I look forward to it," Magnus replies, his imagination already running riot and the wine they've drunk enough of to make him too lazy to worry if he sounds too eager, because he _is eager_.  
  
They talk as they finish their glasses, with Alec laughing that he and Magnus should swap apartments just for closet space when Magnus points out his crammed-in clothes. Then they talk more about work, movies they last saw and enjoyed, and trade some recommendations for music.  
  
It's all so easy, so comfortable, and time passes far too fast. It feels like too soon before Alec is leaving, but when Magnus catches the time on the clock over the door of his store as he lets him out, he realizes it's much later than he'd thought.  
  
"I haven't kept you too long?" he asks as Alec turns in the doorway. "I don't want you too tired for work."  
  
"I have your tea if I am," Alec teases, and after hesitating, reaches out to squeeze his arm. "Thanks, Magnus. I really… tonight was great. Fun. Uh… exactly what I needed."  
  
"It was," Magnus agrees, feeling himself smile ridiculously hard and not caring at all. "I'll see you soon."  
  
Magnus steps out just enough to watch Alec hunch over against the cold, then shuffles back inside, smiling as he makes his way upstairs.

* * *

 


	5. Chapter 5

_"You could have warned me…"_

Magnus raises an eyebrow at Alec's message and waits to see if there will be another to follow it up with an explanation. Sure enough just seconds later there is a picture waiting for him. Magnus' laughter echoes around the store as he throws his head back, before he's zooming in to better see the image on the screen.

It's taken from an awkward angle, but Alec's shoulder is more than visible, the smear of the treatment Magnus gave him for joint pain standing out bright orange in contrast to Alec's skin.

 _"Oh…"_ Magnus writes, following it up with enough emojis to show how hard he's smiling about this. Then adds, _"but Alexander. Surely you would have realized that turmeric would stain?"_

 _"I didn't even think,"_ Alec replies with when Magnus checks his phone after serving a customer. _"Put it on this morning before work, got home, was about to take a shower. And I find this."_

Magnus laughs again, though clucks in sympathy and guilt for the thought of damaging one of Alec's shirts.

 _"I know a great remedy for getting turmeric out of material,"_ he writes back, remembering all too well the damage he has done to his own clothes in the past.

_"No, it's fine, the shirt's black anyway. And old. Though I kind of wish I had a second pair of hands to scrub this off my back."_

Magnus' eyes flare wide as he tries to determine if this is an invitation, or flirting, or neither of those things at all. He has no idea how to respond, looking at the winking emoji staring back at him in taunting.

 _"Anyway. Just wanted to check you were still on for dinner tomorrow,"_ Magnus reads next, and it unclenches the squeeze he feels around his heart.

 _"Of course,"_ he writes back, _"is seven still okay?"_

_"It is. I just wanted to check, I bought way too much food on the way home to eat by myself is all."_

Magnus smiles at the picture that follows from what must be Alec's kitchen, with one of the surfaces looking in danger of overflowing with food. Then wonders what dish Alec might be making them, trying to remember the last time someone other than Catarina cooked him a meal.

 _"I'll be there,"_ Magnus writes back, smiling when another message comes through to re-confirm Alec's address.

How he's supposed to get through the rest of today, and all of tomorrow, and not overthink everything from what he should wear, to what he should say—and definitely what he shouldn't—Magnus doesn't know. But Alec's messages have put an even bigger smile on his face, and Magnus thinks they will buoy him through all the work he has to get done before the day is out.

* * *

This is not a date. Even if he's been beaming at his phone ever since Alec texted him his address a second time and confirmed. Magnus is studying himself in the long mirror in his bathroom and thinking that his fifth outfit change is a little too much. He watches his shoulders slump as he sighs and tells himself he's trying too hard. Though at this point doesn't know what trying _less_ might feel like.

But it _isn't_ a date. And okay, perhaps the tone in their messages is sometimes flirty, and there are occasions when their gazes last a little too long. But it doesn't mean anything, and Magnus is adamant he will not ruin what's becoming an important friendship to him by letting his thoughts get the better of him.  
  
Magnus stares at himself once more, tugging on the tails of his shirt for a final time and pretending he's not hoping it's something Alec likes on him. One final check of his eyeliner and the chains draped around his neck like a shield, and Magnus is ready to leave. He gives his reflection a determined nod then spins on his heel, grabbing the bottle of wine he's taking despite Alec saying he didn't need to bring anything, then jogs down the stairs, giving the store the once over before locking up.

Alec lives only a few minutes from him. Magnus knows this both because he knows the area, and also because he's checked in person. A late delivery of cream to a client last night gave him the perfect excuse to check his route to Alec's apartment; he'd felt ridiculous for it at the time, blushing at the thought of Alec looking out the window and catching him doing it, but is also glad that he took that slightly longer route home just to be sure.  
  
A quick glance over Alec's apartment building as he approaches leaves Magnus feeling even more embarrassed at his own accommodation than he already was, and more determined that he needs to make the effort to find somewhere better to live. But he pushes through it, pasting on a smile as he buzzes the intercom for Alec, smiling again at the sound of his voice through the speaker, and swallowing hard as he lets himself in.  
  
"Hey," Alec says as he opens his apartment door to him, wearing this grey henley that's suddenly Magnus' favorite thing to see on him. Not that he's been monitoring every outfit he wears and has had previous favorites, of course. "You find me okay?"  
  
"I did," Magnus agrees, his eyes already sweeping over the well-kept, open plan apartment that is simply decorated and so very _Alec_.  
  
Magnus goes as directed on a quick tour of the apartment, smiling at the photo frame on his coffee table that's clearly treasured, of Alec and all of his siblings together. He follows Alec into the kitchen, standing to the side as he stirs something delicious-smelling in a pan. Magnus is surprised when Alec puts on an oven glove, dips a spoon in, and holds it out for him to taste, but does so and hums in approval.  
  
"You have my mom to thank for this," Alec says with a huff and a hint of blush, "this is like her signature dish. I can't tell you how many times I stood watching her make it growing up."  
  
"It's delicious," Magnus assures him, watching Alec give a second pan with noodles a quick stir before taking them off the boil.  
  
"Should I pour this?" Magnus says, waving his bottle of wine when Alec turns to look.  
  
"Glasses are over there," Alec replies nodding to a glass-doored cabinet behind him. "Bottle opener in the drawer beneath."  
  
"You have a beautiful home, Alec."  
  
"Thank you," Alec says with a smile over his shoulder. "My apartment before this one was nothing like this."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Sort of… full of problems, and old. Badly maintained. Beat living at home, obviously. The second I graduated and came back here to do my Masters, I knew I'd made a mistake moving back in. I wanted to be just about anywhere but at my parent's. I thought about quitting altogether and studying somewhere else."

Magnus watches Alec checking their dinner over for a final time, his words adding more to the picture he is painting of Alec's family life. Though he doesn't want to say anything, so just smiles as Alec turns to look at him, making a far bigger deal out of opening their wine than he really needs to, to keep himself busy.

"Anyway. After a huge fight with my dad about… family responsibility, I moved out again. I shared some truly horrible accommodation with a couple of guys I studied with. Then I went for, and got offered a job at the University, and it was sort of perfect. I got to work with some people I knew, in facilities I'd studied in myself. Found an apartment within a week through someone at work and just… moved out. And then it was _great_ to be back here and just… start my first real job, get my own place. But really, I should have taken a little time to look for somewhere better, instead of throwing myself into the first place that came up and then just… putting up with it for so long."

"Why did you?" Magnus asks, his offer to help carry their dishes waved away.

"Convenience. I think you get that," Alec adds with what Magnus decides is a wink, though can't be sure for how quickly Alec turns away from him.

"Oh, I do."

"Anyway," Alec says with a rueful smile, "that was essentially my life story, that you didn't even ask for. But basically, I'm really glad I got this place."  
  
"It only reminds me of how I really should be making the effort to move," Magnus says as he finally pours their wine. And he'd be happy to listen to Alec talk about anything for  _hours_ , he wants to add, but doesn't.  
  
"Yeah, but it's the good kind of convenient for you, living above the place you work? Especially as you make so much stuff at home?"  
  
"It _is_ convenient, and it's that convenience that has kept me from looking for a more permanent home. But it's not impossible to work from home and keep the store. When I lived with Catarina I actually enjoyed the walk between the two. Gave me a chance to clear my head."

There are other reasons why Magnus has delayed finally having a place of his own. But thinking about them now will only send his mood spiraling, and tonight he only wants to concentrate on good things, like spending time with Alec.  
  
"Were you making things at home when you lived with her?" Alec asks, beckoning Magnus towards the table that he's already set out and has heat mats waiting for him to put down the two pans.  
  
"A little. Catarina has been my willing guinea pig for as long as I have known her," Magnus replies as he sits. "But with a young child there, and although the ingredients are all natural, it wasn't the best environment to be continuing my work. Plus, Catarina and Madzie needed to adjust to one another."  
  
"How's that going?" Alec asks as he gestures for Magnus' plate and begins to serve, heaping it up.  
  
"Great," Magnus tells him, holding Alec's plate up for him as well and smiling as he sits. "Madzie is a little quiet, but she is doing well. And Catarina is a natural with her."  
  
"Max was a surprise," Alec says with a soft smile as he waves his hand for Magnus' plate. "We didn't… I don't think my parents planned on having him at all. And it was weird adjusting to having a little brother when we were already teenagers. But it was good; he's funny, and sarcastic, and charming—traits my mother says he's inherited from Izzy, me, and Jace respectively."  
  
Magnus smiles thinking Alec is all of those things on his own but doesn't say anything, instead holds up his glass for Alec to clink against.    
  
"Did you finish on time today?" Magnus asks as he begins to eat, humming in approval for the delicious food just to see Alec preen for it and blush.  
  
"I did. I didn't even bring any work home with me."  
  
"So I have your undivided attention all evening?" Magnus teases before he can stop himself.  
  
Alec pauses mid-chew as his cheeks flare brighter, and nods before swallowing. "You do."  
  
"Then tell me about… these books," Magnus says after a quick glance at the nearest bookcase for something to change the subject. "Are they all about archery?"  
  
"Maybe a couple. Most are just regular books, and… see all those on the lower shelves?" Alec asks as he gestures. "They're all, I guess, astronomy. Star maps, pictures of things like the Horsehead Nebula, stuff like that."  
  
"Was it something you studied?" Magnus asks, delighted at the thought of Alec keeping track of the night sky.   
  
"Just for fun," Alec says, shaking his head. "Something I was always interested in but didn't feel like studying formally."

"Well. The universe is fascinating."

"It is," Alec agrees, nodding towards his balcony. "I keep telling myself I'll get a telescope, or join a club, or something. I just… haven't got around to it."

" _Yet_ ," Magnus amends for him. "Perhaps when you have been in this role at the University a little longer."

"Yeah, maybe. Though right now? I don't even think I've taken a single book off that shelf since I put them there when I unpacked."

Magnus glances at the shelf in question again and shrugs. "I am no one to talk. All of my books are still at Catarina's. There just isn't the space."  
  
"Your place isn't _so_ small. But I guess you need more space for all those clothes you've got wedged into that closet of yours."  
  
"Whereas I am sure you don't have any problem with that issue at all," Magnus retorts, delighted at Alec's teasing and wanting to invite more of it.  
  
"Are you saying I don't have enough clothes? Or that you don't like what I've got?" Alec retorts, smiling even as he raises an eyebrow.  
  
"Oh, I love every single thing I've seen you wear."  
  
Magnus isn't sure which one of them looks more alarmed by his words, but knows his face feels bright as a beet, and has no idea how to claw his words back.  
  
"Likewise," Alec blurts out after an awkwardly long pause, immediately dropping his gaze to his plate and shoving a forkful of food in his mouth.  
  
Magnus preens behind his glass, taking a sip of wine to give himself time to think of a suitable response. "Though you are right. What I wouldn't give for a huge walk-in closet where I can _find_ things whenever I need to."  
  
"More incentive to keep looking."  
  
" _Start_ looking," Magnus amends, absently plotting what he'd do with adequate storage space. "I think I looked at one real estate site when I left Catarina's and haven't looked again since."  
  
"Where are you thinking of?"  
  
"Somewhere not too far from the store, I suppose. I like this area; I would probably be looking here even if I didn't have the store close by."  
  
"I like the view of the park here," Alec says, pointing towards the window. "Sometimes I go for a run around it if I get time."  
  
"My ideal view would be either from somewhere up high so I can look out over the city, or a balcony overlooking a beach."  
  
"Pretty hard to get the second of those here. Unless you're thinking of Coney Island."  
  
"Somewhere a little less populated, I think."  
  
"My family like Spain," Alec says, toying with the stem of his glass. "We have an apartment in Alicante that we've been going to in the summer for… well. From as early as I can remember until maybe just a few years back. What with Jace going, and Mom and Dad arguing, it's not been… I guess it's not been the best time."  
  
"I'm sorry to hear that."  
  
"The next beach vacation I take is gonna involve somewhere quiet where I don't have to listen to anyone _bickering_ ," Alec adds, and Magnus allows just three seconds of his mind wandering to taking that vacation with him before pushing images of Alec sprawled out on the sand beneath him firmly away.  
  
"I haven't had a vacation in almost… a year now. Aside from the occasional weekend away, of course."  
  
"It must be difficult to take a break when you own your own business, huh?" Alec says with a look of sympathy, smiling when Magnus once again compliments him on their dinner.  
  
"It can be difficult," Magnus agrees, his eyes on the pleased blush on Alec's cheeks until he can force his gaze away. "But it's generally just a case of preparing my clients' orders in advance, and having someone cover the store if they are able. If not, then, well. A few days closed has so far had no impact on my client list."  
  
"Then you should," Alec smiles, gesturing with the wine bottle and topping up Magnus' glass.  
  
Conversation turns to Alec's sister Izzy, a couple of students on scholarships who are falling behind with their classes, some of Magnus' regulars that he has funny anecdotes about, and everything in between. Everything is easy between them, with Alec topping up Magnus' plate with seconds and both of them eating enough to burst, sinking back in their seats with satisfied sighs when they admit defeat and can't manage another bite.  
  
"You should let me do the dishes," Magnus says, even though he doesn't think he can currently move.  
  
"Not at all. You're my guest."  
  
"Who you just _fed_."  
  
"I have a dishwasher," Alec says, groaning as he pushes himself up from the table and gathers up their plates. "Can keep me company if you want."  
  
Magnus leans on a counter with his glass in hand, his stomach giving a nervous flutter when Alec grabs him around the hips to move him so he can get to a cabinet as he puts away dishes that were still in the washer. He tells Alec more about his work, and a call from Ragnor that suggested he is in no hurry to leave London any time soon.

Magnus is relaxed with Alec, sure he's never been this open and honest with anyone besides Catarina and Ragnor so soon. He's so relaxed, in fact, that Alec's next words catch him totally off guard, taking several seconds to unjumble in his mind so he can make sense of him. So relaxed, that this image he's been slowly building of the two of them sort of falling together with barely any effort at all comes shattering down, for the idea that Alec has a boyfriend who he's just never got around to mentioning before now.  
  
"Steve?" Magnus blurts out before Alec can continue talking, cautiously looking at him settling at the opposite end of the couch, and keeping his gaze steady even though he's just heard his own voice quake.  
  
"Yeah. Steven. Steven Underhill. We've been friends since… well. Since high school, I guess," Alec says, completely oblivious to the stab of pain he's put through Magnus' gut.  
  
"And you're going out with him on Friday?" Magnus asks, because that's what Alec has just told him after polite inquiries about both their weekends. Suddenly Magnus wants to be anywhere else, screaming at himself internally for being such a fool. Why would someone like Alec ever be interested in _him_?  
  
"Yeah. I haven't seen him since I started this… well. Since I got promoted, anyway. He's been working away, and just moved back a couple of weeks ago. We've got a lot of catching up to do."  
  
Magnus tells the rage in his gut that he isn't allowed to be jealous, that he has no right to be, and then pleads with his heart to start thinking of Alec only a friend, before this hurts anymore than it already does. "Are you going anywhere nice?"  
  
"There's a bar we like near here that you probably know. The Hunter's Moon?"  
  
"I do know it," Magnus agrees cautiously, thinking it's a place he's now going to avoid indefinitely if he's going to run the risk of seeing Alec and _Steven_ there.  
  
"We'll probably just have a few drinks. Play some pool."  
  
"That sounds… fun."  
  
"You could join us if you want," Alec adds, his expression confusing Magnus by seeming a _hopeful_ one.  
  
"I wouldn't want to interrupt," Magnus tells him, his words coming out curt, even as he tells _himself_ again that he has no right to be jealous of this _Steve_.  
  
"You wouldn't be. I can't guarantee he won't shark you at pool, though," Alec says with a warm smile. "He's been playing for as long as I've known him. Steven's good."

 _I'll bet he is_ , Magnus seethes under his breath, hiding it behind an empty smile.

"Actually," Alec says, and there is a hint of caution about him before he speaks again. "Steven's… he's been great, you know? He… when I decided I was gonna… that I would _come out_ , he kind of talked me through it. Listened to me freaking out about it, really, but. He was great."

"It's… good that you had someone to talk to," Magnus agrees, that jealousy and anguish that had raged and roared through him out of nowhere cautiously starting to retreat.

"It is," Alec says, smiling. "And he's… I _think_ he met someone when he was away, some guy that he… I think they're trying to work something out. A long distance relationship, or something; I don't know. I'm sure I'll hear all about it on Friday."

Magnus feels ridiculous. For his overactive imagination, his jealousy, his self-pity and the souring of his mood for no good reason at all. He takes a large gulp of his wine and pleads with his heart to settle, smiling back at Alec as genuinely as he can. "Then it sounds like you have a good night ahead."

"Yeah. I think so," Alec agrees. "What about you?"  
  
"I promised Catarina I would take care of Madzie on Friday since she hasn't had an evening to herself in months," Magnus replies. And to cover up his blushes for how quickly he let his imagination get the better of him, adds, "maybe some other time I can join you for pool."  
  
"I'll hold you to it," Alec tells him with that same teasing smile from earlier that Magnus is enjoying seeing a little too much.  
  
Magnus barely holds back a retort that is bordering on inappropriate, smiling over the lip of his glass instead.

"So," Alec says, apparently unaware of how slowly his gaze is lingering over him, or how much Magnus _likes_ him looking at him like that. "How are things going for Catarina and Madzie, and the adoption?"

"Slowly," Magnus replies after taking a sip of his wine and telling his mind to stop wandering. "Adoption is a long, difficult process anyway. It is helped somewhat that Madzie's biological mother named Catarina as the person she wanted to take care of Madzie before she died. But there is so much bureaucracy involved; not to mention that Catarina is adopting as a single parent."

"Why should that make any difference?" Alec asks as he shakes his head. "If Madzie is happy with Catarina, why is that a problem?"

"Technically, it isn't a problem," Magnus replies. "Adoption agencies have long-welcomed single parent adopters. At least in theory."

"But in practice?"

"I'm sure everything will be fine," Magnus says, waving away his own concerns as though swiping them from the air can get rid of them altogether. "Part of the reason I moved so quickly was so that Catarina could get her apartment in the best possible condition for the home inspections she needs as part of the adoption process. Jars and boxes of various substances that could be toxic to an inquisitive child would not have done her any favors."

"Does she need a lot of these home visits?" Alec asks, with that curious expression on his face that Magnus is coming to adore.

"I'm not sure. Though the first one went perfectly, with Madzie proudly showing off her recently-decorated bedroom. All pink and purple and glitter," Magnus adds when it looks like Alec is about to ask.

"Well. I hope everything works out for them," Alec says with a soft sigh that Magnus can't interpret. Though Alec is once again topping up their wine before they move on to another subject.  
  
Another hour passes, with Magnus' overreaction to hearing about one of Alec's friends taunting him in the corners of their conversations. Letting Magnus know that once he's home and alone again, he'll be thinking of little else. But it doesn't do anything to ruin their evening. In fact, Magnus couldn't be happier to be exactly where he is. Though as the evening draws to a close when he notices the time, Magnus can't help but be a little disappointed. Alec's behavior this evening has done nothing to suggest he thinks this is anything more than a dinner shared between new friends. This isn't a date, and Magnus tries desperately to warn himself about replaying their entire conversation, knowing anything he interprets as flirting is going to hurt.  
  
"You want me to walk you home?" Alec asks when Magnus announces he should leave, allowing himself to be disappointed that Alec doesn't ask him to stay longer before he reins it in and masks it behind a smile.  
  
"No, there's no need."  
  
"You're sure?" Alec asks, his expression full of concern.  
  
"It's a few blocks."  
  
"Still."  
  
"Alexander. I'll be fine," he insists, and Alec's smile the moment he hears _Alexander_ is something difficult for Magnus to snatch his eyes away from.  
  
"Will you… let me know you get back okay, then?"  
  
"I will," Magnus agrees, a confused heat of affection flaring through his stomach that he does his best to ignore.  
  
"I'm sorry, I just… sometimes I'm told I'm too overprotective," Alec says as they linger in the doorway of his apartment, and Magnus is out of excuses for why he shouldn't go.  
  
"There's nothing wrong with being protective of those you care about," Magnus replies, cursing himself for words that are far too presumptuous.  
  
"Exactly," Alec agrees, looking pleased, and it just puts even more confusion in Magnus' heart.  
  
"Well. Thank you for a lovely evening," Magnus says, debating holding out a hand to shake but not quite convincing himself to.  
  
"Thank you," Alec replies, and to Magnus' surprise he takes a step closer, wrapping him up in a few seconds of an awkward hug.  
  
"I'll… see you soon, Alec," Magnus tells him, arguing with his heart that it isn't racing hard in excitement, then forcing himself to turn away before he says anything stupid.

* * *

It's Saturday morning, and Magnus is laid in bed staring at his phone, debating the pros and cons of asking Alec out on an actual date. Now he's finished tormenting himself over these past couple of days over why he jumped so quickly to conclusions about Alec's friend Steven, Magnus thinks he needs to _act_ on these feelings, and stop making excuses not to.

Though that's easier said than done. His list of pros and cons is looking pretty even so far on both sides of his internal argument, but that might be because of every obstacle he puts up for every good argument he makes. Magnus doesn't know what to do; he's so out of his depth with the way he's feeling about Alec, and hasn't got a clue which way he should turn.  
  
Currently he's scrolling through their messages trying to decipher the tone of every word. Cringing when things have sounded overly flirtatious coming from _him_ , yet smiling helplessly for every similar effort from Alec. Magnus doesn't know what to _do_ ; he's _sure_ the attraction he feels for Alec is reciprocated, yet still can't work out if that is the fascination of someone new, or someone different, or even if Alec's not really attracted to him at all. What if he's just kind, and sweet, and his words are innocent? If Magnus pushes even a little too hard to find out and Alec backs away, what will he do then?  
  
Alec's become important to him; Magnus is reminded that although he's got to know a lot of people over the years, there are very few who have become friends. Despite how short their friendship has been so far Magnus feels like he could talk to Alec about anything. And he's pretty sure that, were he to get over the flutters in his stomach every time Alec is a little closer than normal to him, that they could speak uninterrupted about anything, and never run out of things to say.  
  
But that doesn't mean Alec wants to date him. Maybe he's just enjoying his company because Magnus is so detached from his own life. They have entirely different upbringings, completely different careers, probably not too many things in common aside from things they've already discussed. And, Magnus thinks, swallowing with difficulty when his thoughts get the better of him and he has to shift to ignore the discomfort thinking about Alec causes him while laid here in bed, Alec probably doesn't want his first experience of a real relationship with someone to be with a person as odd as _him_.  
  
Magnus sighs, turns over and presses his face into his pillows with a huff and pulls the duvet up over his head to shut out the world, trapping himself with his own thoughts before throwing himself out of bed. He gets through a shower, a simple breakfast, and pours a second cup of coffee before allowing himself to pick up his phone.  
  
" _Hey, Alec. I was just wondering if you were free this evening. Alec, would you like to go out for a drink sometime_? _Alexander, are you busy_? Ugh," Magnus adds in frustration as he plans his texts out loud, "you are ridiculous."  
  
Magnus thinks of talking to Catarina about this but doesn't know if he can handle her teasing right now. And with Ragnor being so many hours in front and immersed in so many difficult things with his family, Magnus isn't sure he'll even have the time to talk. So he sits with his thumbs poised over his phone before rapidly writing, " _Alec, I'm bored. I don't suppose you want to join me for lunch_?" then sitting back and cursing himself the moment he hits send.  
  
His apartment seems even smaller than usual. Magnus grabs his laptop and heads out for his favorite cafe, half-wondering if he'll run into Alec there. But once he's sat with a small pot of tea and a slice of cake that will sit heavily on his stomach for having just eaten breakfast, an answer from Alec sends that hope plummeting.  
  
_"Hey, Magnus,"_ Alec's message reads, _"I'm sorry, I'm not around today. And I'm sorry you're bored; I hope you find something to do."_  
  
"See?" Magnus chides himself, "you got yourself all worked up over nothing." Then realizes he's said it out loud and catches the woman at the table nearest giving him a strange look.  
  
Magnus shifts again pretending he hasn't noticed, opening up his laptop and going through a list of bookmarks he made yesterday while trying not to let his mind replay every moment of his evening in Alec's apartment. He's finally started looking at apartments for himself, and already has three in mind. Within an hour he's set up viewings for each and is in a marginally better mood.  
  
Checking his phone by habit instead of really looking at it, Magnus notices another message from Alec.  
  
" _Look at this place_ ," it reads, followed by a picture of an opulent-looking building. " _H_ _ow's this a school? This is where Max is; it's a family day_."  
  
Magnus smiles at the picture and is relieved by Alec's reason for being busy, then scolds himself for even thinking he has a right to his time.  
  
" _It's almost like Hogwarts_ ," he replies, looking over the building and trying to imagine how much it must cost per semester to attend.  
  
" _Yeah, but they don't teach magic here_ ," Alec answers back with almost immediately, " _more like attitude_."  
  
" _Oh?_ "  
  
" _Max has developed a… let's just say he's pissing my dad off for having an answer for everything_."  
  
Magnus smiles, remembering the couple of pictures Alec has shown him of his family, and wondering how much of their parent's divorce has contributed to this _sass_.  
  
" _I hope the rest of the day is better with him_ ," he sends back, intending to leave Alec alone, but within minutes of scrolling through social media receives another message that unpixelates to reveal a squirrel looking inquisitively from behind a large tree root.  
  
" _We're supposed to be having a family picnic, but everyone's too angry, so they're walking it off. This little fella's been running around me and Izzy for the last half hour looking for snacks_."  
  
" _He's cute_ ," Magnus replies, " _and you have inspired me_."  
  
" _How?_ "  
  
" _I think I should go to a park. See something of nature. Even if it is in the city_."  
  
" _You should_ ," Alec agrees, and adds, " _send squirrel updates_ ," which is why Magnus heads to Riverside Park, where he spends two hours taking pictures of everything he can to share with Alec.

There are lots of squirrels at the park today, Magnus thinks, when he sees how low his battery is getting for just how many pictures he's taken so far. But then an inquisitive black squirrel comes scampering down a tree trunk to his side, and Magnus just has to take a picture of it. It's worth his phone beeping in protest a few minutes later when the battery is almost out altogether for Alec's response with a caption that is the very latest in a series of awful squirrel puns Magnus can't help but burst out laughing at.  
  
By the time he gets home, Magnus feels better than he had in the morning, happy to have spent some of the day with Alec at least in some capacity. He pushes back his furniture as far as possible to spend a little time doing tai chi, deliberately ignoring any thoughts that creep back in about he and Alec _dating_. Then prepares some dinner, intent on spending the rest of the evening with a book.  
  
He's surprised to hear a knock on the door downstairs that leaves him jumping up and marking the page, not expecting any of his clients to be demanding anything this late in the evening. Magnus runs down the steps, hoping he's not about to find anything unpleasant, and is both relieved and surprised to find Alec standing there with a shy smile and both arms clasped behind his back.  
  
"I hope I didn't disturb you?" Alec asks, and Magnus doesn't know whether to invite him in, or keep him standing in the doorway.  
  
"Not at all," he says, belatedly aware he's not wearing any make up, his hair is unstyled, and feeling naked for it. A feeling that surprises him with how much he _likes_ it, for being so comfortable to be so _open_ with Alec.  
  
"We, uh… we passed a place. A farmer's market," Alec says, a crinkling sound revealing a bag he has hidden behind his back. "I know you know all there is to know about honey and stuff, but I figured maybe it's been a while since you bought honey just for you. To eat."  
  
The jar is huge, and Magnus can almost already taste the honey spread over thick slices of still-warm bread from the bakery opposite.  
  
"Thank you, Alexander," he says, his heart giving a hard thud for the relief on Alec's face as he hands the jar over, as though he feared his gift would be unwanted.  
  
"No problem," he says, standing a little more relaxed. "I'd… I hope your day wasn't too bad in the end?"  
  
"Not too bad at all," Magnus assures him. "Thank you for your company."  
  
"I'm sorry you were bored."  
  
"It happens."  
  
"We, uh… we only just got back," Alec adds, shuffling from side to side as though nervous.  
  
"Was it a good day?"  
  
"It was," Alec tells him, "it's just been… long, you know? Driving there, spending the day there, and my parents arguing. And Max."  
  
"I suppose you are tired by now," Magnus says, and resists inviting him in for a drink anyway.  
  
"Pretty exhausted, yeah. But I was thinking. If you're free on, say, Tuesday again? There's a… Izzy told me about a couple of places that sound really good. Or we could go somewhere we know already, like… somewhere local, or something. Or… anything you like."  
  
"I would love that," Magnus replies, only allowing a few seconds of looking at the blush on Alec's cheeks. "And we'll think about where to go once you have had the chance to rest."  
  
"Great. I'll… I'll message you tomorrow."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"I'll, uh… I'll see you soon."  
  
Magnus nods and watches until Alec disappears from view, smiling as he makes his way back inside, clutching Alec's gift of honey tightly in his hand.

* * *

 


	6. Chapter 6

"Jamie."

"Hey, Magnus," Jamie calls out as he closes the door behind him then comes to stand at the counter, straightening up a stack of flyers before looking back at Magnus with a smile.

" _Someone's_ in a good mood."

"What's not to be in a good mood about?" Jamie says, practically beaming at him. "I'm aceing all my assignments. I got to spend the whole weekend _not_ studying. Made some new friends when Desai and I went to this new live music bar on Saturday night. Life is _good_."

"Well. I'm pleased to hear that," Magnus replies, sliding Jamie's regular order of eczema treatment from beneath the counter, having prepared it when Jamie had messaged to say he was coming in. "And how is _Desai_?"

"Perfect," Jamie replies with a wistful sigh. "He's amazing. Honestly."

"Well. That is good to hear."

"And," Jamie adds, smiling impossibly harder, "tomorrow after class we're gonna watch the faculty match together."

"What's that?" Magnus asks, smiling as Jamie continues to straighten things up on his counter.d

"It's when some of the staff from the sports department play basketball with some of the students. They do it maybe once or twice a month."

"I see."

"Helps that the new director guy who's organized the whole thing—and is _playing_ —is _hot_ ," Jamie adds with a smirk that has Magnus almost choking on his tea.

Magnus slowly sets his teacup down on the counter letting his mind race to thinking of Alec, only now putting together the facts that Jamie _going_ to the local University and Alec _working_ at the local University probably means they're talking about the same place. "Oh?"

"Yeah," Jamie says, with a noise blasting from his mouth that Magnus chooses not to dwell on. "He's worked there for… I guess longer than I've been there. But a few months back the old director got real sick, and _he_ took his place. Talk about a glow up."

There are so many things rushing through Magnus' mind. Would Alec blush if he tells him this story? Laugh? Be embarrassed? Is Jamie even thinking about the same person? Which, surely, he must be.

"I see," Magnus settles for saying, watching Jamie over the lip of his teacup.

"He's really good, too. But then, he looks like the kind of guy that could do any sport and be a natural at it. Or maybe _anything_ ," Jamie adds with his lip caught between his teeth, leaving Magnus sure he doesn't want to know where his mind is wandering.

Magnus holds on to his smile, only nodding back. "That's… well. That's _good_."

"I heard," Jamie says with a conspiratorial whisper, leaning across the counter a little to peek at the remedy Magnus was working on before he'd arrived, "that he's this like… amateur archer too. Competes and everything. I tell you… wish they'd put archery on the program and let _him_ teach it. I'd watch all the time. I might even take part."

Magnus focuses on drinking his tea, telling his mind to stop going to the places it is going, though the very idea of watching Alec competing does things to him that are far too inappropriate to even be thinking about while standing here in his store. Particularly with Jamie present. Especially if he is thinking similar thoughts. "That's… interesting."

"Believe me," Jamie huffs, giving him a look that is full of mild disdain, "you'd be _interested_ if you'd seen this guy."

Magnus has no response to that, only takes Jamie's money and slides across his change. "Well. I'll keep that in mind."

"You should get out more, Magnus," Jamie says with a heavy sigh as he slots his parcel into his backpack and prepares to leave. "There's more to this world than being stuck inside this store. Not that I don't love it, obviously."

Magnus' face really is now in danger of splitting with laughter, but he holds on to it tight, nodding solemnly back at Jamie as he waves goodbye and closes the door behind him. He picks up his phone, planning on messaging Alec to tell him at least about this revelation about Jamie going to his university, though sees a message already waiting for him from Alec. He's sent a link to the menus of a couple of places Alec's sister has suggested for dinner tomorrow night. Apparently, Magnus thinks with a smile,  _he_ has to make a decision, because Izzy knows someone at one of the restaurants, and the other place will need a reservation as soon as possible.

Magnus scrolls through the menus humming in approval, the idea of a steak making his mouth water, quickly making his decision for them to try The Loft before sending an answer back.

* * *

He's having dinner with Alec tonight, so there is an extra wide smile in greeting for each of Magnus' customers, in between several checks on his clothes already laid out on his bed in preparation just to be sure he has everything just right.

The outfit in question is his third attempt at picking something out that he hopes Alec will like seeing him in. Magnus can't be sure exactly of what it is Alec is thinking about when he _looks_ at him the way he catches him doing sometimes, yet if he's going to hope it's in approval, then he might as well give him something to look at.

With a quick glance at his phone and then at the clock over the door, Magnus wills the time to go faster, though only if every minute of his evening with Alec will take twice as long as it should.

Magnus makes it through three more customers without thinking of Alec, chiding himself constantly for how easy it is to slip into thinking of nothing else. All these long weeks of denying what he's been feeling for Alec, then admitting it and denying that he's disappointed nothing else has happened between them, Magnus has decided to put right tonight.

He's going to enjoy Alec's company without any expectations, focus first and foremost on being Alec's friend. Because even if that is all the two of them will get to be then, well. Alec has proved himself to be a good friend, someone that's become an important addition to Magnus' life.

Of course, Magnus thinks, if Alec _does_ happen to keep flirting, or looking at him, or just being the beautiful, sweet man he knows him to be, then settling for mere friendship will be an ordeal. But Alec is worth it, and he will just have to learn some restraint. He was the one that swore off relationships after all, so just because he's more than happy to break that rule with Alec, doesn't mean he _should_.

"You're no help," Magnus chides his Maneki-neko, who, though Magnus knows it's ridiculous, seems more _cheerful_ since Alec fixed him. The cat stares back at him silently judging as always, and Magnus glares back at him for a few seconds before an alert on his phone calls his attention.

Magnus slides the screen open and stares at the notification from Paypal, having to read both the long string of numbers as well as the potential sender of money twice over, before his brain can catch up. Rage races through Magnus leaving his blood ice cold as it always does every time his father tries to give him money. He rejects the payment immediately and writes out a curt message to his father telling him once again he wants nothing to do with him. At least, nothing to do with his money, that Magnus can't trust was gained legally, and also can't trust that there won't be some conditions to accepting it that he really won't like. Or an out-of-the-blue demand for him to give it back.

Magnus has lost count of all the times his father has tried to give him money over the years. He neither needs nor wants it; he paid back his father the money he'd set up as a trust fund for him as a child as soon as he was able in the hope of distancing himself from him—particularly for the constant reminder that he gave him the money in the first place. Magnus' hope that they might have a normal father-son relationship has been dashed more than once, and it's another of his rules for himself, that he will never trust his father again.

He refuses to let this dampen his mood. Magnus pulls his laptop closer across the counter and checks off a couple of new orders, arranging for his courier to pick another couple up. He rereads Alec's morning message since there hasn't been a morning in weeks when either one of them hasn't wished the other a good morning. Magnus smiles at the image taken from Alec's window at work looking out over the track at the university, not sure what he thinks of it already looking so busy so early in the day.

A customer comes in, and they help Magnus push thoughts of his father even further from his mind, as he helps them decide between two treatments for settling a stomach before they notice his business card on the counter and ask questions about that side of his work as well.

Magnus' day is going great again, and when he looks up from serving yet another customer hearing the bell over the door ring, his day gets infinitely better for Alec appearing, grinning at him with blush-filled cheeks from across the store. Magnus pushes the fear that Alec is about to cancel their dinner to one side, holding his expression neutral to not show his surprise as a woman appears to Alec's side, who can only be his sister.

"Hey, Magnus," Alec says with a soft wave, standing more formally than he normally does when he comes in. "This is Izzy. Izzy, this is Magnus."

"It is _so_ good to finally meet you," Izzy says, smiling at Magnus as he reaches across the counter to awkwardly shake her hand. "Alec has told me so much about you."

"Likewise," Magnus agrees with a quick glance at Alec to see him blush even more furiously.

"Izzy insisted on coming in to see if an order she placed with you was ready already," Alec adds with a tone in his voice that says he's convinced that isn't the reason for her wanting to be here with him at all.

"I only said that I was passing and might drop by," Izzy replies with all fake-innocence. "Alec just couldn't pass up on the opportunity to come here himself."

Alec's cheeks flush even brighter, giving Magnus the distinct impression that what Alec actually feared was Izzy coming in to speak to him by herself. He lets his imagination run away with thoughts of Izzy telling him how much Alec _likes_ him, then scolds himself for acting like a hormonal teenager when he should know better. And _then_ scolds himself for being so derogatory towards teenagers, smiling back over the counter as unfalteringly as he can as his mind races with so many thoughts.

"I can check. I'm sure it should be," he replies, though is more sure that if he had seen an order for any _Lightwood_ , or even an _Izzy_ , he'd have put the two together and realized it was Alec's sister buying some of his products.

"I have it sent to my workplace so there is always someone to sign for it," Izzy adds, then reels off the products she's ordered. Magnus knows the exact order she means, hearing a, _he's beautiful_ , before he's even halfway up the stairs. Magnus is sure his own blushes are enough to match Alec's.

Magnus finds Izzy's order in seconds, still half-exasperated with himself that the _Isabelle_ and the address for the largest pathology lab in New York didn't clue him in to this order being for _this_ Lightwood. Though he doesn't dwell on it too long for wanting to hand it over, checking his appearance quickly in a mirror before running back downstairs.

"Here you go," he says, sliding the package across the counter into Izzy's waiting hands.

"Thank you," she says, still beaming at him and not even looking at the package. "Also, while I'm here, I was wondering if you had anything here for my hands."

Magnus looks as Izzy holds up an immaculate hand with no sign of any problem at all, catches the exasperated look on Alec's face, and schools in a smile. "Of course. Alec tells me you have quite the occupation."

"Day in, day out. Dead bodies and more latex than you'd know what to do with. Gloves, obviously," Izzy adds with a mischievous smile that Magnus is sure he hears Alec groan for under his breath.

"Of course. I have the very thing," Magnus says. "In fact, this particular hand cream I regularly supply to the dressing rooms of many an actor on Broadway. I'm sure their hands don't see quite the same work as yours do, of course. But if it's good enough for them—"

"You have clients that are _celebrities_?" Izzy says, her eyes wide and generally looking impressed.

"I do."

"Who?"

"Client confidentiality," he replies with a wink. "But rest assured. Many of my products have been approved by, oh. Half of Hollywood."

Half might be a _little_ exaggeration, but he does have numerous famous clients on his books. It's part of why he is so successful, his products selling through good old fashioned word of mouth. Some of his clientele are even responsible for some of the items in his closet that he could never justify buying for himself.

"Good to know," Izzy replies as she studies him, her smile just seeming to get wider.

"I'll get you that cream—"

"It's okay," Alec says, holding his hand up to stop Magnus as he moves to come around the counter. "I know where it is."

Magnus is struck by two things. One, the fact that Alec seems to have a grasp of where everything is in his store already. And two, the teasing smile Izzy turns on Alec as he nudges for her to follow.

"I can see why you don't stop talking about him—"

"Izzy—"

"He's charming. Thoughtful. _Very_ easy on the eye—"

" _Izzy_ —"

"Plus. He never stops _looking_ at you," Magnus hears Izzy say, and wants the ground to open up and swallow him, though can hardly move.

"Would you—"

"Alec. It's perfect. You can't stop looking at each other."

"Just—"

" _Alec_ ," Izzy laughs, high and tinkling and full of affection. "Just ask Magnus out on a _date_. I'm sure he won't bite; not unless you ask—"

" _Izzy_ ," Alec growls out, the pleading in his voice full of mortification that Magnus tells himself he won't dwell on for too long.

Magnus busies himself at the counter pleading with his face to remain neutral, adamantly not listening to Alec and Izzy talking about other products in his store. When they return to the counter, there is no other word for the look on Alec's face but _flustered_. Izzy is smiling triumphantly, and Magnus has no idea where to focus his gaze.

"So. You have a reservation for The Loft tonight," Izzy says, leaning against the counter and smiling at them both.

"We do," Magnus agrees with a quick glance at Alec since it was him that made the reservation. "Thank you for the suggestion; I've been meaning to check it out for months."

"It's beautiful," Izzy insists. "Excellent food. Great wine. _Romantic_ —"

" _Izzy_ ," Alec growls out yet again, darting an apologetic look at Magnus before scowling at her.

"I'm just saying—"

"Yeah. Well, _don't."_

Izzy laughs as she slides the jar of cream she's picked up across the counter, which Magnus quickly shakes his head for and slides back.

"For you, my dear, on the house. For all of your many purchases in the past," he adds, realizing belatedly just how long Izzy has been on his client list and wanting to kick himself for it.

"See, Alec? Magnus knows how to—"

"Okay," Alec says loudly as he nudges her on the shoulder to turn, "we're leaving."

"But—"

"You need to get back to work. And I need to get work finished so we can _get_ to this reservation," Alec adds, shooting Magnus yet another apologetic smile, and adding, "I'll be ready. I'll be here."

"Then, I will see you later," Magnus replies, helplessly smiling at Alec's awkwardness as he all but shoves Izzy towards the door. "Isabelle. It was lovely to finally meet you."

"You as well, Magnus. Maybe we can all get dinner sometime and—"

"Okay out. _Out_ ," Alec says, swinging the door open and blocking Izzy's view as she tries to grin back at Magnus. "I'll… see you later."

"You will," Magnus agrees, and before he can stop himself, winks at him.

Alec becomes even more flustered, ducking his head and getting his sleeve caught up on the door handle in his hurry to close it. Magnus smiles after them long after they're gone, with no idea what to make of anything. Though he's now looking forward to this evening even more than he already was, and trying harder still not to let himself think of it as a date.

* * *

"I think I'm gonna burst."

Magnus laughs at Alec's outburst as he pushes back from the table in defeat, insistent he could finish the last bite of steak he's been staring at on his plate for the past five minutes. "Well. This wasn't supposed to be _Man vs Food_ —"  
  
"Still," Alec says, groaning, "I probably shouldn't have come here on practically an empty stomach. I wouldn't have ordered such a big steak, or… half of these other things. Everything tastes so good though."

There is so much food between them, or at least the remnants of it scattered across their now-empty plates. Why they thought they would get through potato wedges, broccoli, mushrooms, and string beans on top of the portions of fries they each ordered along with their steaks, Magnus doesn't know. But he's sure he won't be able to move for a month and can tell Alec is thinking the same for the look on his face.

"It does. But didn't you stop for lunch today?" Magnus asks, curious because he's received Alec's usual messages throughout the day, including additional ones for Izzy's teasing earlier.  
  
"No time. Not if I wanted to get here on time, anyway," Alec adds, shrugging.  
  
"What happened? Aside from your sister," Magnus says, wicked because it's only to see the blush creeping across his cheeks again.  
  
"Other than _Izzy_ ," Alec says, groaning a little and looking away, "we had meetings with— _I_ had meetings with—those students I told you about who were falling behind. We think we've worked out a schedule so they can catch up. And then we had a basketball match; it's sort of like a faculty versus student thing we do once a month. After that, and some last minute paperwork, I just about had time to get home and get changed."  
  
Jamie's faculty match, Magnus thinks, though keeps it to himself for all the other thoughts assaulting him at once. His stomach knots for the thought of Alec keeping his evening free for him, and Magnus is sure it shows in his voice when he speaks. "Not that I don't appreciate it, but you should take care of yourself."  
  
"Most days I do," Alec agrees with a raised eyebrow. "Can you say the same?"  
  
"What—"  
  
"Magnus," Alec says with a burst of soft laughter, his eyes flitting over his face, "yesterday morning you told me you had a really bad headache. And you were still working gone six."  
  
"I wanted to keep this evening clear for you too. For this," Magnus amends with a jolted wave at the table in case that isn't what Alec wants to hear. Though why he wouldn't when it was Alec who suggested they meet up this evening, Magnus isn't sure. His thoughts about Alec at times get so convoluted.  
  
Alec smiles back at him without saying a word, staring hard enough to catch Magnus' breath. Magnus doesn't know what he's thinking, and desperately wishes he could ask out loud. Though is relieved when Alec eventually asks, "you, uh… maybe you feel like a walk after all that food? If you're ready, of course."

It isn't what Magnus was expecting to hear but there is no way he's going to pass up the chance to extend his time with Alec.

"Sure," he says, watching as Alec waves to a passing waiter, then adamantly not overthinking things as Alec brushes off his attempt to pay when they receive the bill. Or paying any attention to Alec shrugging into his jacket and thinking about how _good_ he looks tonight.  
  
It isn't too cold out, but Magnus still shivers into his jacket when he steps out of the restaurant for the change of temperature. Alec notices him do it, immediately reaching out to squeeze his arm.  
  
"Are you cold?"  
  
"Not too bad."  
  
"Because we can—"  
  
"Let's walk," Magnus insists, indulging in nudging against his side.  
  
"You said you'd looked at some apartments," Alec says as he gestures in a direction for them to walk.  
  
"I did. Though only online on those virtual apartment tours. I have all three visits booked for Saturday. Catarina is coming with me to give her… approval," Magnus adds, already imagining the list of questions she'll have prepared for the realtor and wanting to apologize to them in advance.  
  
"You wanna… maybe you wanna walk by them now?"  
  
"Now?"  
  
"Yes, Magnus," Alec says, nudging against his arm, "we're walking anyway. And you said you wanted to look around here, so, they can't be all that far."  
  
"Well," Magnus says, looking around them, "actually, yes. One is probably a little further up this way."  
  
"So, let's go."  
  
"How long did it take you to find your apartment?"  
  
"Not long," Alec replies. "Izzy, actually, found a couple of places. I saw my place first and put an offer in, didn't even check the second. It just felt like home, you know? Probably sounds stupid, but—"  
  
"Not at all. I agree, it does seem homely. It seems very _you_."  
  
"Izzy's great at stuff like that," Alec says, and there's a discreet glance down at himself that makes Magnus suspect Izzy has also picked out his shirt. In fact, he's sure of it; there is a discreet pattern to the fabric when most shirts he's seen Alec in are plain, and if he's not mistaken those pants he's wearing that fit in all the good places are a little tighter than he's seen him wear before. It makes him think again of the overheard conversation between Alec and Izzy in his store, and Magnus can't help but wonder what else they talk about involving _him_ when they're alone.  
  
"Everything you've told me about your sister sounds amazing. Isabelle seems wonderful. Charming, and teasing. As I'm sure many sisters are," Magnus adds, wanting to steer the conversation to go over some of those things said earlier in The Lucky Cat but not feeling brave enough, nor wanting to do anything to ruin this so-far perfect evening.  
  
"Yeah. She is," Alec agrees with an affectionate smile, even as he flushes with embarrassment. "She's like… she's my sister, but she's also one of my closest friends. We look out for each other, you know?"  
  
Magnus doesn't know, not really, but he smiles anyway since there is no need to put a dip in their mood. "Do you get to speak to Jace often?"  
  
"Not really," Alec replies, his smile slipping a little. "I guess I thought he'd be able to check in with us more often, but. Maybe he can't. He can't tell us all that much stuff. I just have to believe he's doing okay."  
  
"That must be difficult."  
  
"It is. We've—he's been a part of our family for so long now. He _is_ family. It's hard to think that he's out there doing… I don't wanna think what. But it's all he's ever spoken about being."  
  
"We're here," Magnus says with a gentle squeeze of Alec's arm, loathing to interrupt him but needing them to stop.  
  
"Which?" Alec says, turning to the small apartment block in front of them.  
  
"The top one on the left. I really liked the interior when I looked at it, but I would much prefer something a little higher."  
  
"It's still good," Alec tells him, pointing out the lobby, "looks secure, and clean. Not too many neighbors."  
  
"That's what I thought. But it's no longer my first choice."  
  
"So. Are we on to the second choice next?" Alec asks, turning to him with a smile, and for the angle they're at when he spins around to talk to him they are almost pressed together chest to chest. Alec stares for a second open-mouthed and wide-eyed then stumbles backward with a mumbled, _sorry_.  
  
"We are. I think if we go that way, it should take us directly there," Magnus replies, telling his heart to behave itself.  
  
Their easy conversation continues as they walk, and Magnus likes to think he's not imagining how close they're walking together. Close enough to nudge an elbow or press upper arms together in passing. It isn't enough, there are so many other ways they could be closer that Magnus' mind keeps indulging in thinking about. But Magnus keeps repeating his promise to himself about not expecting too much of Alec and tries to keep those thoughts on track.  
  
The second apartment Alec finds good things to say about as well, but as they approach the third Magnus realizes that this is the apartment he really wants. He can't really show it to Alec since it's the loft apartment, but he enjoys tugging on his sleeve to bring him to a stop anyway and leaning as he points it out.  
  
"The top one?" Alec asks in surprise, craning his neck to look up.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Which part?"  
  
"From that window there," Magnus says, taking the opportunity to clutch his arm to direct Alec where to look, "all the way along to that one. I particularly like the idea of the long balcony."'  
  
"It's huge," Alec says, smiling as he looks back at him.  
  
"It is. Perhaps I am overcompensating for having a lack of space all these months."  
  
"And you're gonna… you're gonna wait 'till Saturday to see it?"  
  
"I… guess so?" Magnus replies, not sure what to make of the way Alec's voice raises in what he thinks is surprise.  
  
"You're not… you don't wanna see it sooner? So you can… Magnus, you obviously like this apartment. Look how excited you are about it," Alec says, hesitating before he reaches out to squeeze his arm. "What are you waiting for?"  
  
"I… suppose I could try to get an earlier appointment," Magnus says, a knot forming in his stomach then for thinking he might miss out on this apartment if he isn't quick enough. "Though Catarina might not be able to take the time off work. Though, I suppose I could go on my own; she only wanted to be nosey."  
  
"You keep telling me Thursday afternoon isn't busy for you," Alec points out, "and I'm sure I can do without more tea for _one_ week."  
  
"You know where I am if you need more," Magnus teases right back with another nudge into his side.

There are getting to be more and more of these small touches between them, along with longer glances and warmer smiles. Magnus adds these latest ones to all the other moments he's currently cataloging once he's alone at night, hearing his promise to himself about not overthinking things with Alec and firmly shoving it to one side.

Though then he has to push aside the irrational disappointment he feels that Alec isn't offering to view this apartment with him. They are not a couple, and Alec must have far better things to do with his time.

"I do," Alec says, and Magnus flinches for a second before realizing Alec's words aren't in answer to his thoughts, and only in response to his comment about tea.  
  
He's not imagining it. He's _not_ imagining all these moments between them, Magnus insists to himself, unable to tear his gaze away from Alec.  
  
"So. Maybe think about changing that appointment," Alec says, and Magnus is _sure_ of it; his eyes drop to linger over his lips before he looks away. Though he tells himself to focus on the subject of this viewing so he won't be hit with yet more disappointment when nothing comes of that look.  
  
"I'll call them tomorrow."  
  
"Good," Alec says, nudging his arm again.  
  
"So. Where should we walk now?" Magnus asks because if he doesn't get them moving there's a danger he won't be able to stop staring, or might even close the gap between them when he's already got a hundred arguments for why he should already have done that.  
  
"This way?"  
  
Magnus nods in agreement as Alec gestures in another direction and turns on his heel. "Do you have a busy day tomorrow?"  
  
"Not as busy as today. No meetings, anyway. And I have archery practice when I'm finished, so. Should be a good day."  
  
"And you've been practicing archery all your life?"  
  
"Pretty much. I think I even had a toy bow when I was little."  
  
Magnus smiles at the image that creates for him but doesn't comment on it. "You mentioned basketball as well? At the university?"  
  
"Yeah, but that's only for fun."  
  
"And the archery isn't for fun?"  
  
"Well," Alec says, tilting his head, "I'm not professional or anything, but I take part in a lot of competitions. I don't do that with basketball."  
  
"You seem to put in a lot of training," Magnus says, imagining Alec training with a punch bag or running on a treadmill, and smiling to himself for it. Then debating telling Alec about his conversation with Jamie yesterday, but thinking Alec's already had enough reasons to blush today.  
  
"Helps that I have a free gym where I work, as well as plenty of people around on staff to spar with when I want to. I go in early sometimes, or in my breaks. It's… really convenient."  
  
"I suppose the facilities are good?"  
  
"The best," Alec agrees, though waves his hand. "I'm biased, but. Yeah. It's a good place."  
  
Why he's asking about _gym equipment_ when he could be talking about anything else Magnus doesn't know, so clears his throat and changes the subject. "Is Max enjoying his school?"  
  
"He is," Alec tells him, reaching out to pull him back a little when they turn a corner and almost walk straight into a couple coming the opposite way. "He was… I think he thought it would be just a few months, maybe a couple of semesters—he's not stupid, he knows he's there because of the divorce. But he's really enjoying it. Made some good friends, doing great in all his classes. If it's good for him, then he should stay."  
  
"It sounds as though it is good for him."  
  
"I think it is."  
  
"And you… do you speak often?"  
  
"All the time," Alec says with a smile, pulling his phone from his pocket and thumbing it open, turning it to show a picture Max has taken of an experiment that went wrong in class.  
  
"Perhaps chemistry is not for him," Magnus says, looking at the melting glass and the hissing mess seeping over the table.  
  
"Maybe not," Alec agrees, "though I guess this makes you a chemist, huh? All those things you make?"  
  
"I suppose. In some ways."  
  
"I'd… maybe I can watch some time. I don't know for what, but… something," Alec adds. Magnus thinks there's hope in his voice and tells himself not to dwell on it.  
  
"Whenever you want."  
  
"And maybe… I don't know. If you feel like it, you can… come see me do archery sometime," Alec says, and Magnus is adamant he's blushing again. "You can even bring Madzie if it's a day event; there's usually some kids demonstration thing going on at some of these things."  
  
"I'll speak to Catarina," Magnus says, smiling at the thought of Madzie holding a miniature bow and arrow, and unable to stop darting his eyes to Alec's cheeks when they're illuminated by a street light to check just how hard he might be blushing yet again.

He makes Alec seem like such a _simpleton_ , Magnus scolds himself, for always thinking Alec is blushing. But seeing Alec go from this confident, proud man to one that tucks into himself red-cheeked, he can't help be endeared by. Or think up ways to see it again and again.  
  
By the time they return to Magnus' store after Alec insisted on walking him home again, it's almost midnight, with both of them having lost track of the time.  
  
"I hope you won't be too tired tomorrow," Magnus says as they turn to one another, watching as Alec shakes his head.  
  
"I'll be fine. I've got about an hour's break mid-morning for the gym, and don't have to be in until nine anyway. So I can sleep for… hours. Perk of living so close to work."  
  
"I know the feeling," Magnus teases, looking at his store. "If I take a shower now, I can get up perhaps fifteen minutes before I need to open."  
  
"Is that including getting ready? Makeup and everything?" Alec asks, and he doesn't seem phased by it at all. In fact, he's reaching out and taking Magnus by surprise by thumbing at the corner of his eye and showing him the smudge of kohl on the end of it.  
  
"I… yes," Magnus stutters out, far too befuddled by Alec's touch to say much of anything else.  
  
"Don't forget to speak to that realtor," Alec adds, raising an eyebrow and smiling.  
  
"I'll make it my first call of the morning."  
  
"Good," Alec says, smiling harder.  
  
Silence grows between them but it isn't uncomfortable, even if Magnus is holding his breath for how hard they are staring and what might come next. But then he's shaking his head, forcing a break in that eye contact, thinking it's better he gets inside before doing anything rash.  
  
"Well. I'll… let me know if you'll be here Thursday or not," Alec says, his arms twitching down by his sides for a second and then stepping closer to wrap Magnus up in a hug.  
  
Magnus holds on just as tightly, both of them seeming in no hurry to let go, and thinking he has to pull back before Alec notices how much he doesn't want to move.  
  
"I should… I should go," Alec says, though it's half-muffled into Magnus' shoulder before he pulls back.  
  
"You should sleep," Magnus replies, smiling when they pull apart.  
  
"I'll… I'll see you soon, Magnus," Alec says, his fingers twitching again before he's reaching out to squeeze his arm.  
  
"You will," Magnus agrees. He opens the door since Alec insists on waiting for him to get inside before leaving, gives a final wave before closing and locking it, and makes his way upstairs smiling hard, already replaying their evening together.

* * *

 


	7. Chapter 7

Magnus wakes without an alarm most mornings, yet today he's laid here in bed watching the dawn creep in through a gap in his window blind, and it feels like he's been awake for most of the night. It's a good reason that he's barely slept, taking an afternoon off work to view what could be a new apartment. Magnus is excited, far more than he ever thought he would be about a potential move. Though now the day of that viewing is upon him, Magnus is filled with an unpleasantly familiar sense of trepidation as well.

Squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head in denial against his pillow, Magnus allows the reasons that have held him back from buying an apartment of his own in the past fill his thoughts for a moment, then firmly shuts them out. His life is different now, _he_ is different. He is a world away from all the excuses that have held him back all this time. And this is also a good thing; his business is flourishing, his life is a content one even if it is a little small, and he's been living in a cramped space making do for far too long. So why does it feel like this is such an insurmountable task?

Magnus thinks back to dinner with Alec, his gentle prompting that led to his eager call yesterday morning to move the viewing appointment, and the skip in his heart that accompanied the drop of his stomach when the realtor confirmed they could see him today. Alec shouldn't be this influential on him already, surely he shouldn't, but he _is_. Magnus is interested to know what he thinks about everything and constantly wants to make the best impression, which tends to leave him falling over his words at the worst possible moments.

He is _ungainly_ around Alec at times, and that's not a feeling Magnus is used to really, always managing to hide his awkwardness behind a facade so no one can see past his laughter and smiles. Yet with Alec, he _wants_ to let his walls crumble, even if it terrifies him half the time for Alec seeing him exactly how he is. He doesn't have to _pretend_ with Alec; it's an odd feeling not to be constantly on edge around someone, yet it is a feeling that he's come to like.

This isn't about _Alec_ , Magnus chides himself, usually happy for his thoughts to wander to Alec for almost everything. This is about him avoiding buying an apartment of his own because of his past.

It's silly, really, that he's managed to avoid it for this long. Magnus knows he and Catarina wouldn't have shared a home forever, even if Madzie hadn't come along when she did. Though it has hit him hard, watching Catarina's life shape into one she's always wanted, and hearing Ragnor adjust to a life that perhaps he didn't want but is loving all the same. Magnus feels left behind, then incredibly selfish when he can't just be _happy_ for them both. Which he is, of course he is. It's just that he's the only one of the three of them that has, in effect, taken a backward step in his life.

This small apartment over his store is the closest he's come to his own space in years. It's convenient, crammed in with enough stuff to mean he doesn't feel alone with his thoughts too often, and can always find _something_ to keep him busy in the shape of work. Magnus' imagination is one of his worst enemies along with his memory, both of them far too eager to keep him company if he doesn't distract himself with other things. Which is why he's laid here with gritty-feeling eyes from a lack of sleep, and a thousand unpleasant thoughts whirling around his mind, instead of just allowing himself to look forward to a possible new home.

It's like the memories are _calling_ to him, taunting Magnus until he's throwing himself out of bed and stamping across the small floor space he has to swing open his closet and pull out a small jewelry box from the back. Magnus holds his breath as he cracks back the lid, the necklace that is the only heirloom he has in the world from his mother glinting as the large pink gem catches a chink of light from his window. It's beautiful, worth a small fortune according to the jewelers where he had it valued many years ago. And a reminder of _her,_ the thorn in his thoughts that has shaped far too much of his life in recent years.

Camille had charmed him with her aloofness, ensnared him with her beauty, then broke his heart with her callousness and left him feeling like he was shattering apart. Up until Camille, Magnus had never really lived _alone_. Growing up in a house that often felt more like a commune, then living with Catarina and Ragnor at various times for as long as he can remember, Magnus had been used to always falling asleep to the noise of other people around him, carrying on with their lives as he did the same with his own.

Then Camille came into his world, taunting him with thoughts of a future, a family that Magnus has always desperately wanted but thought he was destined not to have. Camille proved that right, by laughing in his face at the idea of marriage, and children. And only agreeing to move in with him if she didn't have to contribute in any way.

Or lift a finger. For all her beauty Camille was almost slovenly, unwilling to do even the smallest of things. It was Magnus who did everything in their home, from washing the dishes to taking out the trash. He had doted on Camille, gave everything to and did everything for her. Changed their decor once every few months just because Camille had demanded it of him. And though he would never have admitted it to Catarina or Ragnor at the time, knowing they would have berated him for it, Magnus had thought by doing everything for her, Camille would grow to love him back.

He can admit it to himself now, how foolish he had been. Thinking that getting her to love him as he'd convinced himself he was in love with her was going to fix _him_ in a way, by proving that he was worthy of being loved. Then refusing to believe it when she taunted him, threw it in his face that _they_ were not for life. Though was happy to wear this beautiful family heirloom that he's currently glaring at for all the memories it holds for him, with no care for it, or him, at all.

Magnus can remember now, clear as anything as he absently strokes his thumb over the necklace on its velvet cushion, coming home early from a successful meeting with a new client to find Camille in their bed with another man. She hadn't excused it or tried to hide it, laid there glaring at Magnus as though _he_ had inconvenienced _her_. The bouquet of flowers he'd bought her wilting in his hand as his heart had broken, watching helplessly as she'd climbed from their bed with a withering look for him as she'd seen her _guest_ out, wearing nothing but that necklace. It's foolish that he still lets that experience shape his view of his living arrangements, but even after all this time, it does.

Camille isn't even the entire reason, Magnus thinks bitterly, snapping closed the box. When he'd brokenly told her to leave their apartment he'd thought he'd enjoy a little solace to recover from his broken heart. It was the worst mistake he's ever made, though it took him a while to admit he didn't do well on his own. Maybe because of losing his mother at such a young age, or perhaps because he's never had a true family to cling to, but whatever the precise reason, Magnus hasn't trusted himself to live alone ever since.

Magnus can still see the worry on Ragnor and Catarina's faces when they would arrive at his apartment to find he'd drunk himself into a stupor, or was surrounded by takeout cartons because the sink was full of dishes that he couldn't be bothered to wash. He was either out partying constantly with not a care for anything but keeping himself busy to _forget_ , or home alone, and unable to face his own company without something to numb his thoughts. His whole mood had spiraled, unable to get past the idea that he'd spent his entire life being abandoned, that there wasn't a soul in the world who loved him unconditionally.

Magnus can look back on that time now with self-loathing for letting himself slip so far, and he can't help fear that it might happen again. For as much as at times he craves his own company more than anything else, if he moves into an apartment that he loves, that doesn't have a store beneath it that he has to sometimes run down to for the customers knocking at the door, will he find excuses to stop going out altogether? Throw himself back into that self-destructive cycle he'd put himself through after Camille at the first sign of any difficulty in his life?

 _I_ _won't_ , Magnus tells himself adamantly, shoving the jewelry box back in the closet and slamming the door closed. He won't let himself get to the stage where he's giving up on the world. He has friends, he has his clients, and, if he's lucky, Magnus thinks he might have _Alec_. Even if what they mean to each other is currently something that keeps him awake at night for trying to figure out.

"Would you _stop_?" Magnus demands out loud to himself, deciding that he'll have breakfast at the bakery opposite before he opens up, in an attempt to better his mood and calm his nerves for this afternoon.

Magnus checks the address of what might be his new apartment for an unnecessary fifth time on his phone, raises his arms up over his head for a stretch, then stumbles through to the bathroom mid-yawn. He will not let Camille, or any other memories taint something that is going to be _good_ for him. Magnus demands this of himself, glaring at his reflection in the mirror in passing as though that might seal the conviction of his own words.

Today is going to be a good one. He's going to have his favorite breakfast, send a picture of it to Alec to tease him, then begin his working day. And if he's lucky this afternoon he might start the process of finding a new place to live. Magnus repeats this to himself like a mantra as he ducks under the spray of the shower, determined to keep himself in this positive mood.

* * *

Ragnor is five hours ahead in London so could possibly already be sleeping, so Magnus has sent him a text message and won't expect to hear back. Catarina is at work so he's left her a message too, and though he has other friends he could talk to about this, Magnus' thoughts turn immediately next to Alec.

Magnus paces the length of his apartment several times over then swipes open his phone, pressing it to his ear telling himself not to get too excited—about everything.

"Magnus," Alec answers with after four agonizingly long rings.

"Hello, Alec," Magnus replies echoing the smile he hears in Alec's voice, allowing himself to relax for it.

"Everything okay?"

"It is. Everything is great."

"It's just… you usually only text me," Alec says, and Magnus listens as in the background a stream of water comes to a stop, presuming he must be turning off the shower.

"I hope I'm not interrupting?"

"Of course not," Alec tells him as he laughs softly. Magnus does his best not to think about how dressed—or not—Alec might be given his proximity to a shower.

"I just… I wondered if you were home, is all."

Magnus winces, loathing the idea that he's all but inviting himself over, acting as though he has a right to Alec's time when clearly he does not.

"Why don't we get take out?" Alec says without the slightest hesitation. "I haven't eaten yet, and I'm starving."

"If you're sure," Magnus says, already imagining an entire stretch of evening with Alec before he can stop himself.

"Of course. Anything in particular? I'll order something."

Magnus takes that to mean Alec is inviting him over sooner rather than later, and spins on his heel in excitement, already planning his change of clothes.

"Surprise me. I'll be there… soon?"

"Come as soon as you're ready," Alec tells him, leaving Magnus to smile into his phone.

When Magnus arrives at Alec's probably not more than twenty minutes later, he takes in the freshly towel-dried hair still sticking up on end, the hastily-thrown on shirt clinging to not-quite-dry skin, and does his best not to _look_ too hard.

"I brought wine," he says, pushing the bottle into Alec's hand as he waves him in and squeezes him on the shoulder as he passes.

"Thank you. Dinner'll be here soon, I ordered from this place that's like, literally downstairs almost."

"That sounds good. I didn't have the chance to eat much today."

"And you lecture _me_ about taking care of myself," Alec teases over his shoulder as Magnus follows him through to the kitchen. "So, what's up? How was the apartment, did you like it? Or decide to wait and see the others?"

"I loved it," Magnus says, "it was exactly as you described. I walked in, and already felt at home."

Magnus thinks of the wide living space, the view from the balcony, and the sense of calm that descended on him the moment he walked through the door. That he felt at home immediately isn't an exaggeration at all.

"That's great," Alec says, turning with a wide, pleased smile for him as he holds out the glass of wine he's just poured.

"It is," Magnus agrees, reaching out to clink their glasses together, his stomach giving an excited jolt for his next words. "And I… well. I liked it so much that I put in an offer then and there."

"And?" Alec demands, his eyes wide as though he's already anticipating his answer.

"The realtor called the owner while we were there. And they accepted. The current owner moved away for work and was leasing it out, but decided it was too much effort. I can… as soon as all the paperwork is completed for it, the apartment is _mine_."

"Magnus," Alec all but yells in excitement, reaching out for his glass and pushing it on to the counter behind him along with his own. Then he's pulling him into a hug and squeezing him tight, his laughter reverberating against Magnus' shoulder as he sways him in his arms. "I'm so happy for you."

"It's been… quite the afternoon," Magnus replies, leaning into Alec and indulging in the feel of Alec holding on to him.

"I'll bet. Did you… I'm so glad you moved the viewing forward."

"I'm glad you talked me into moving it forward."

Alec laughs again and presses his face into Magnus' shoulder, a gesture Magnus plans on thinking over in fine detail later when he goes to bed.

"Any idea how long that'll be? Before you move in, I mean?"

"Oh, even though it sounds particularly straightforward, I still estimate at the very least a couple of months."

"Still," Alec says as he pulls back but doesn't let go of him, gripping lightly on to his upper arms. "At least it's happening now. And maybe you can start planning furniture, or decorating—"

"Alexander," Magnus says, laughing in disbelief at his own luck, "the colors on the walls are already exactly what I would want. All the fixtures exactly as I like. It even has the perfect walk-in closet for all my clothes. Aside from indulging in whatever wall art I choose now that I'll have the space for it, I don't think I would change a thing about the decor. The only thing I can think of right now that I definitely want to buy, is a rug for the living room."

"Then, it really is perfect for you."

Alec is smiling at him, and also staring, and doesn't seem to be in any hurry to let him go. And Magnus feels himself smiling just as hard as he keeps his hands pressed loosely on his sides; it's Alec's eyes getting rounder for possibly realizing just how hard they're looking at one another that forces Magnus to clear his throat before stepping back and forcing himself to speak.

"Should we… let's sit down."

Magnus smiles as Alec presses both glasses into his hands and holds his own up in a gesture for him to wait, then watches as he takes plates from a cupboard along with a stack of cutlery, carrying it through to the table.

"I guarantee it. You'll be looking at your current place and be itching to leave by the time you get home tonight just thinking about your new apartment."

"I'm sure you're right."

"What will you do with it? Where you are now?"

"Well," Magnus says as he takes a sip of wine after sitting down, "it was supposed to be little more than a storage area with a bed in case I needed to stay late on occasion when working. I suppose it could go back to that. It isn't really set up to let as a separate apartment; I would be in all sorts of trouble letting it out with the only access being through the store."

"I guess so."

"I suppose," Magnus adds, chiding himself for even more forward planning, "eventually I could have somebody manage the store for me, offer them the accommodation as part of the deal."

"Seriously?" Alec asks, looking alarmed. "I thought you loved your store."

"Oh, I do. And I would still have a hand in so much of it. But I am in a position where I earn far more money for everything I make and sell online than I do in the store. The new apartment has a room that is an excellent size for a home apothecary. It is my intention to work from home fully within the next few years. Perhaps much sooner, if this all works out."

It's been his plan for a while now, Magnus thinks, still slightly dazed that it might actually be happening. Even if he has been stalling on buying a place to do just that for months.

"Anyone in mind for the store?"

"Actually, yes," Magnus says, thinking that already so many parts of that plan are falling into place. "My good friend Dot has often expressed an interest and would probably take over tomorrow if I asked. More or less. We spoke earlier today after the viewing and will probably discuss it all the more over the next few weeks."

"Then… this move is gonna be huge for you; in so many ways," Alec says, looking _proud_ of him as he says it. Magnus is sure no one has looked at him like that in years, if ever.

"It will."

"I guess I'll have to get used to someone else selling me tea, eventually," Alec adds, and Magnus tells himself there's a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"Well. No time soon. But if that happens, Dot is a wonderful woman who I'm sure you'll find equally charming."

"I don't know about that," Alec says, shaking his head and pretending to pout as he looks him over.

"I'll… take that as a compliment."

"You should," Alec insists, looking him over again, and is only interrupted from continuing to do so by the arrival of their food.

"This looks amazing. Exactly what I needed even though I didn't know I did," Magnus says as he looks at the falafel, hummus, and all the other things Alec has ordered them for dinner that are taking up a large amount of the table.

"You said you didn't eat all day. So, eat. It's all great, I promise."

Everything tastes just as good as it looks, and their conversation over dinner turns to vague plans for Magnus' furniture, as well as Alec's day. Magnus' phone buzzes mid-conversation but he doesn't look until they're both pushing back from the table and Alec is shooing him to sit as he cleans up, quickly answering Ragnor's sleepy message congratulating him on the apartment, and promising Magnus that he'll speak to him tomorrow.

"Are you gonna have a housewarming?" Alec asks as he comes back through to join him, topping up both their glasses of wine.

"Oh, no doubt I will be expected to. Catarina and I used to throw quite the party before Madzie came along."

"Does this mean I get to meet some of these friends of yours?" Alec asks, and though Magnus knows he is teasing there is also a hint of hope there on his face.

"Of course," Magnus replies, imagining the way Catarina will zero in on Alec and start asking questions. He is already planning to avoid her interrogating Alec—and embarrassing _him_.

"Good. I look forward to it."

"You will have to try my cocktails," Magnus adds thinking it's been far too long since he had a good martini, and adding _cocktail table_ to his list of things to buy.

"Another thing about you I didn't know," Alec says, in what Magnus decides is teasing reproach.

"You can ask me anything you want," Magnus replies, though secretly hopes questions won't turn to his father, who he has difficulty even thinking about, let alone talking. His day has been far too good to let it be tainted by _him_.

"Anything?"

"Anything," Magnus repeats, taking a gulp of wine.

"What made you… how did you start wearing nail polish, and makeup, and stuff?"

It isn't the question he's expecting but it still makes Magnus freeze. "Oh. I—"

"You don't have to answer," Alec adds quickly, looking alarmed as though worried he has offended him.

"No, it's fine," Magnus tells him, thinking of some of his happier memories growing up. "I just… I remember experimenting with kohl as a teenager, and it becoming a sort of… armor, I suppose. Then a girlfriend, who was the daughter of one of the women my… _guardian_ knew, wanted to paint my nails. Now, I can't remember the last time they were bare."

"I like it. It really suits you," Alec says, his eyes falling to Magnus' fingers wrapped around his glass.

"Thank you—"

"I mean it," Alec insists, and to Magnus' surprise reaches out for his free hand, raising it up to inspect his fingers. "It looks really good on you. I can't really imagine you without it."

"Oh, you should see me in the mornings before I get ready," Magnus says, laughter in his voice that dies for the smirk his words put on Alec's face.

"Now _that_ ," Alec says, squeezing his hand and pointing at him before he presses it back against Magnus' thigh, "almost sounds like an invitation."

"I—"

"I'm kidding," Alec says with a laugh, a tiny amount of doubt clouding his eyes.

"Perhaps I should be painting your nails since you are so interested," Magnus blurts out to cover up any embarrassment between them, reaching out for Alec's hand to inspect his fingers, slotting his own through.

"I mean, I guess you could," Alec says as he watches their hands, "but I just… I just meant how good it looks on _you_."

Magnus looks at the way their hands fit together and indulges in the thought of walking down the street hand in hand with Alec before gently pulling his hand away.

"Thank you," he replies, and for a moment there is a tension of _something_ between them that Magnus wants to pursue, wishing he would make himself take a chance.

"Are you still spending Saturday with Catarina?" Alec asks, breaking what's becoming an awkward silence between them.

"No, not now. Now that I've freed her from trailing around apartments with me, she has decided to take Madzie out for the day."

"You don't want to go with them?"

"Not this time," Magnus replies. "I spent much of last weekend with them. It will be good for them to have some time alone doing something fun."

"So… what're you gonna do?"

"Dot is already covering the store. I suppose now, it is a good thing that she is getting in the practice," Magnus adds. "Aside from perhaps a little laundry, I have nothing planned. Though I might try to get in a little extra sleep."

"Where do you do laundry?" Alec asks, tilting his head and in doing so giving Magnus the impression he's trying to remember if there is a washing machine in his apartment.

"There is a laundromat three doors down. Since I have nothing else I need to do, I'll probably take a book there with me."

Alec nods, but Magnus thinks he's only half-listening, as though his mind is on other things.

"And you?" Magnus prompts when Alec adds nothing else.

"I have an archery competition. I'd invite you, but I have to leave pretty early. Maybe you can have a little extra sleep for me," Alec tells him with a half-shrug.

"I will try," Magnus replies, smiling helplessly back at him for the way Alec's words come out like an invitation to go with him is just _natural_ for them. "Is it a difficult competition?"

Magnus doesn't know the first thing about archery. He's tried to look a few things up because of Alec but got lost on a complicated page about technique, and gave up.

"It's kind of a big deal, yeah."

"Are you prepared?"

"As much as I can be."

"Did you… have I interrupted your routine by coming here?" Magnus asks, worried as he looks at Alec's wine glass.

"No, it's fine. It's… tomorrow I'll do a little more training and get an early night; I can't do anything else to prepare now."

"Then, I wish you luck."

"Do you wanna maybe… if you feel like it, that is. I'll be back kind of mid-afternoon and have plans to do absolutely nothing but lay here and maybe either read or watch bad TV. Or movies. If you wanna join me—"

"I'd love to," Magnus answers with before he can do something stupid like hesitate, or think things over. "And since you will be busy from competing, and driving, if you want, I can prepare us something to eat."

Alec smiles at that and nods. "Only if you want to."

"I'll prepare something at mine that we can just heat through when I arrive."

"I can pick up some—"

"Leave everything to me," Magnus insists, waving a hand in dismissal. "If you are providing the… location, I can prepare anything else."

"Maybe I'll get some chips or something. If we're… if we end up watching a lot of stuff—"

"We need snacks. An excellent idea."

"Then it's… I look forward to it," Alec tells him, knocking their glasses together.

"Me too."

"So. Your turn."

"My turn?"

"Yes, Magnus. Your turn to ask questions. I just asked about this," Alec says, nodding towards his hand, "so, what do you want to ask me?"

Magnus might have a hundred questions in mind since he's become so _fascinated_ by Alec. He also already feels like he knows him fairly well, though tells himself he can't do, not in the number of weeks they've known each other. Which, when he thinks about it harder, is stacking up to quite a few.

"What was teenage Alec like?" Magnus blurts out before he can overthink things any further.

"Oh," Alec laughs, and it tails off into a slight groan. "Too tall. Awkward. Ask Izzy and she'll say I scowled a lot."

"Any particular reason for that?"

"I don't think I scowled _that_ much."

"Okay."

"Maybe I scowled a little bit much," Alec amends, screwing up his face.

"I'm sure you had plenty of things to scowl about."

"Well, let's see. My dad forever telling me I wasn't trying hard enough at anything I did. Two younger siblings—before Max came along, and not including him when he was older—that were just naturals at… everything. Jace and Izzy were confident where I wasn't, and I… Izzy says I'm too quiet with people I don't know."

"Not everyone is the life and soul of the party all of the time," Magnus sympathizes for the frown Alec's words put on his face, again wondering about his childhood.

"I bet you were. _Are_ ," Alec counters, raising an eyebrow as he stares back at him.

"Well. I may be good at _acting_ as such, but often I am not too comfortable with people I don't know either."

"Huh," Alec says, watching him over the lip of his glass. Magnus wants to ask what he's thinking, but doesn't.

"You were saying?"

"And I suppose," Alec says, swallowing awkwardly as he looks elsewhere, "the whole… not telling anyone that I was… that I was _gay_ and having to pretend to be interested in girls when I wasn't, I… I guess that might've made me scowl a little."

"I can only imagine," Magnus replies, keeping his voice gentle.

"My family's kind of… my parents, at least, they're pretty traditional. When I told them a few months back that I was… when I came _out_ , they were kind of… I think they're still expecting me to say I was joking, or something."

"I'm sorry, Alec."

"Izzy, of course, I told you she keeps trying to set me up. And I told Jace over… when we got chance to call him. He's got no problem with it. Neither does Max," Alec adds with a wistful smile.

"Then… I'm glad you have their support."

"I just… nothing's changed about me. _Nothing_. Before this, I didn't… I told you before that I… I dated a few women just to… people that I guess I could've been friends with if I hadn't messed things up by not being interested—"

"You didn't _mess things up_ by not being interested. You just weren't attracted to them, is all."

"Yeah. I guess," Alec says, though he's still frowning, and Magnus wants to lean in to kiss that frown away. "I don't think I…"

Alec's voice trails off and he looks away again as though whatever else he has to say is difficult.

"Alec. It's okay."

"I just don't think I'm someone who can just… I think I have to be really _interested_ in someone to really wanna… to really want to be with them. I'm not interested in just… I don't know. Fooling around, or something. I mean, I tried that, and I thought I'd… it's just not _me_."

Magnus nods to encourage him, torn between thinking Alec is trying to tell him something in the form of dropping a huge hint, or is just sharing information.

"I guess my parents would find it easier if I was… I don't know. Taking a boyfriend home, or… actually dating. I don't really feel like… I'm not attracted to every single guy I see," Alec says, beginning to frown harder.

"Alec, you don't need to—"

"I think I have to _like_ someone first before I… before I feel like I could want something more with them, you know? It's not about… I mean, I _look_ , but I—"

"Not everyone is attracted to every person they see," Magnus says, trying to help Alec out with his words. "We're all different; some people are only attracted to those they've got to know, others are only attracted to someone physically, and don't want anything other than a… physical connection."

Alec doesn't particularly blush at that, but Magnus feels his own cheeks heat, and he takes a gulp of his wine to cover it up.

"I guess," Alec says, his voice soft and full of doubt.

"My point is," Magnus says, trying to organize his words so they come out better, "there is nothing wrong with feeling what you feel. Whatever it is you're feeling. You don't need to be anything other than yourself for anyone else. Whatever your family's expectations—or even yours."

"It's not like I came out and expected to make out with every guy I see," Alec blurts out, and Magnus knows he's not imagining the quick darted glance to his lips before Alec looks away again. "I mean, it's not like I've not tried to be..."

Alec's eyes zero in on Magnus' finger as he holds it up to his lips, following when Magnus drags it away to the side. There is a smile on his face that Magnus can't stop looking at, watching the way it still dances around the corners of his mouth when he eventually looks back at him. It helps calm Magnus from the panic rising in him for his out-of-nowhere gesture that he can't believe he's just made. What must Alec think of him?

"I was just trying to say, that I'm… I don't think I'm the kind of person who could just fool around. I don't _want_ to be like that. I'd rather… wait, until someone I really care about comes along, and see what happens. Or, just… be on my own."

Again Magnus is struck with the sense Alec is trying to tell him something, but self-doubt won't let him hope too much, so he keeps his mind neutral and his advice generic.

"Of course. You are _you_ , and you want what you want. That is your—that is _you_. There is nothing wrong with any of that."

"I guess."

"I _know_ ," Magnus insists, now feeling a little guilty that his question has resulted in these difficult words for Alec, not wanting in any way to make him uncomfortable.

Alec continues staring at him hard enough to add more to Magnus' idea that he wants him to understand something important, but once again he demands to himself that he doesn't get his hopes up that this is something about _him_.

"Thanks, Magnus," Alec says eventually when silence stretches out between them, and it's accompanied by a relieved sigh. Magnus tells himself they don't shuffle closer over the next hour of talking, and that their hug when he finally leaves doesn't go on longer than any of their others. That he isn't still thinking of the warmth of Alec pressed against him in the doorway of his apartment as he falls asleep.

* * *

There are a few minutes when Magnus wakes the next morning, where he forgets he's just put plans in place to buy an apartment. When it hits him, Magnus raises his head up from his pillow looking across his current accommodation and bursts out laughing, thinking that in hopefully a few short months he won't be having to listen to the hum of his fridge as he wakes up.

Alec was right, Magnus thinks as he swings his feet over the side of the bed and presses them into the floor, this place looks different now, and he really _is_ itching to be gone already. But all in good time; he has furniture to choose, moving to organize, and he really needs to speak about the store with Dot. But as he takes a shower and gets himself ready for the day, Magnus' thoughts are on the view from his new balcony, the bathtub he can't wait to sink into, and all that _space_ that will be his.

Apprehension hits Magnus as he jogs down the stairs to his store, a brief reminder of why he's been stalling to find a place of his own for so long pushed away before it can take hold. He will not allow that to shape his future, he's already promised himself that. And with very little effort Magnus turns his thoughts to Alec, already smiling over their shared dinner last night as he makes his way from behind the counter to the front door to open up.

There is an envelope on the floor in front of it, clearly posted through the mailbox for the angle it's at. Magnus bends to pick it up, absently opening the door at the same time, turning the envelope over and smiling when he recognizes Alec's handwriting.

 _To Magnus_ , the card reads when he hurriedly rips the envelope open and tosses it, _I'm so happy you found a place. Good luck in your new home; I know you won't be moving there any time soon, but I just wanted to let you know how excited I am about this for you. Sorry about the card, it's kinda crappy, but it was the best one I could find on the newsstand on my way to work (I'm going in early for training). I'll get you a better one when you move in. Love, Alec_.

Magnus' grin is cheek-splitting, laughing at the addendum that reads _p.s. Don't forget you owe me a cocktail_ , and _p. p. s. Are you getting a cat?_ before he's turning the card to the front to study its image, tracing his thumb over the embossed pattern running around the edge of it.

 _"Thank you for my card,"_ Magnus writes in his message the moment he is behind the counter to grab his phone, _"it was a lovely surprise."_

He doesn't expect a message back from Alec since he's said he's training, but as he's going through his to-do list his phone beeps anyway. Magnus watches the view of what is probably Alec's gym unpixelate.

 _"You're welcome,"_ Alec writes back. _"And look, I'm the only one here. Got to be the only one stupid enough to be in at this time of the morning before starting work."_

_"Well, I hope today is easy for you, given that you have a busy day tomorrow."_

_"Yeah, I doubt it,"_ Alec replies, _"I saw the work waiting for me on my desk when I took my bag up and there's a ton more than I remember from yesterday. But thanks. I'm gonna finish a couple more miles here on the treadmill. I'll speak to you later. I hope your day is a good one (have some of those pastries you had yesterday for me)."_

Magnus can't think of anything else to say back so just sends an emoji, straightening up his card on his counter out of the view of customers, knowing it's going to make him smile throughout the day every time he looks at it.

* * *

 


	8. Chapter 8

It's raining hard when Magnus leaves for Alec's apartment, making him grimace at the miserable sky as he does his best to shield their dinner dish from the onslaught of rain. He shakes out his umbrella as he buzzes the intercom and waits for Alec to answer, so he won't be dripping water everywhere when he lets him in.

Alec beckons him in with a warm smile, squeezing his arm as he mumbles questions hoping he didn't get too drenched on the way over, before taking Magnus' jacket to hang up. Alec smiles again when he takes the dish from Magnus' hands, nudging him towards the couch telling him to make himself at home, then returning almost immediately with a question about a hot drink.

"Tea, coffee, whatever you're having."

"I think tea," Alec says. Magnus stands again to follow him into the kitchen. "And I put dinner in the fridge. That's okay, right?"

"Perfect," Magnus agrees, tapping his fingers against the counter as he watches Alec slide open a drawer to look for tea. "Do you have a lot of tea? Or just mine?"

"Not too many. A couple of greens. Some fruit stuff Izzy wanted to try but didn't like."

"I suppose you don't have an actual teapot," Magnus says, inspecting what's on offer when Alec opens a cupboard door to take out cups.

"No. But there's this if it'll help?"

Magnus turns to see him waving a glass jug, getting slightly distracted by the chest hair peeking out from Alec's half-unbuttoned shirt. "Uh… is it heatproof?"

Alec turns the jug over and inspects the symbols on the bottom, nodding as he passes it to him.

"Then. If you'll allow me," Magnus says, flaring his fingers at the drawer.

Alec holds his hands up, backing away to put some water on to boil before leaning back against the counter to watch. "What are you making?"

"I'm… experimenting."

"You need anything else to experiment with?"

Magnus squeezes his eyes shut and tells himself not to smile. "If you have anything like honey, or lemon, or ginger—"

"I have honey. And ground ginger. Would that work?"

"Perfect."

Magnus makes them a jug full of ginger green tea that he loads up on a tray Alec slides across the counter to him with cups already on it, nodding when he gestures for them to go back through to the lounge. "Perhaps add as much honey to taste as you want."

"Okay."

"So? How did the competition go?" Magnus asks as they sit. "You didn't say in your text?"

"Oh. I, uh… I'm through to the next round," Alec says, looking both pleased and humble, with a tiny smile dancing around the corners of his mouth.

"That's fantastic. Well done, Alexander," Magnus replies, reaching out and squeezing his forearm, careful not to spill the honey he's spooning into his cup.

"Thanks," Alec says, looking shy. "It was… it went well today."

"When is your next competition?"

"Next month."

"So you can take today at least to relax?"

"I can," Alec replies, and leans forward to grab the remote for the TV then sits back, wriggling to get comfortable, sprawled out but still giving Magnus room. "So besides laundry, and making us dinner—which looks amazing by the way—what else did you do today?"

"Well, not too much. The weather has been awful for most of the day. But, I did make the time to go to a rug store I looked up."

"Did you find any you liked?" Alec asks, taking the jar of honey Magnus pushes into his hand.

"I did. Three," Magnus adds, thinking of the beautiful, thick, vibrant rugs he's now ordered for his living room, bedroom, and apothecary.

"That's great," Alec says in between sips of his drink. "As is this tea. But that's amazing, Magnus. I can't wait to see it. Your apartment."

Magnus thinks about showing him around his place when he's moved in, then has a few seconds of thinking about Alec and him on that beautiful rug he has in mind for his living room and tries to get his thoughts to behave.

"So? What are we watching?" Magnus asks as he too settles back, appreciating with a sneaky glance at just how long Alec's legs are as he points the remote at the TV.

"You feel like a series? Or movie? Or… we could just go through Netflix and see what we feel like?"

"Let's do that," Magnus agrees.

They go through a few minutes of several series they don't like, as well as almost all their tea, before settling on a movie that promises to be some kind of thriller or horror.

"It's… still kind of light outside," Alec says, looking at the grey sky before back at the screen.

"...it is," Magnus agrees, bewildered for Alec's comment.

"I meant, for the movie," Alec tells him, apparently hearing the confusion in Magnus' voice. "In case it's… you know. Jumpy."

"I'll protect you, Alexander," Magnus teases, delighted by the thought that this tall, strong man sat on the couch beside him might jump six foot in the air depending what is on the screen.

"What, from all the way over there?" Alec asks with a raised eyebrow and a pointed look at all the space between them.

In his attempt to get comfortable without getting too close, Magnus realizes he's managed to wedge himself in the furthest corner of the couch. He gives a rueful smile as he shifts, and as he's already kicked his shoes off swings his feet up to tuck under him, hoping Alec won't mind.

If anything, Alec looks pleased for the gesture and relaxes a little more himself. "Izzy always punches me on the arm if I jump. Jace used to scare me on purpose just so she'd do it."

"Your siblings sound like terrible bullies," Magnus replies, though is struck by the image of a younger Alec shoving and nudging at his siblings and can't help but smile.

"We're all pretty bad at times."

Magnus watches Alec shrug out of the corner of his eye and settles back more comfortably, aware of just how little space there now is between their shoulders. Alec sips at his tea, waving the cup and turning to smile at Magnus.

"This is great."

" _Good_."

"How long do we need for the dinner?"

"Are you hungry now?"

"No," Alec says, "I just didn't know if we'd need to pause this—"

"Are you scared already, Alexander?" Magnus teases, leaning into his side.

"No," Alec replies and nudges back against him, but doesn't pull too far away again so Magnus can feel the warmth of his arm even though they're not quite touching.

This is _ridiculous_ , Magnus chides himself, though still concentrates more on the closeness of Alec than the opening scenes of the movie.

The movie isn't too gory, though Alec does seem to jump every five seconds, and by the time there is actually something to be scared of he's actively leaning into Magnus. Magnus lets himself believe briefly that it's intentional. 

"Do I need to cover your eyes?"

"No."

"Are you sure?" Magnus teases, since Alec's face is turned away and just inches from being tucked into his neck.

"...no?"

There is a loud crash from the TV followed by a roaring sound that Alec shudders for hearing, which in turn leaves Magnus tempted to cleave the remote from his grip to switch the movie off.

"Why would you watch something that makes you feel this bad?"

"Because."

"That is… a terrible reason."

Alec huffs in protest, hard enough to ghost along Magnus' neck, and it takes every ounce of restraint Magnus has not to shiver for it.

"Alec. Let's turn this off."

"But I—"

"Honestly? I'm not enjoying it all that much either."

Alec pulls back and eyes him suspiciously, but only hesitates from pointing the remote at the screen for a few seconds. "Okay."

"I could heat our dinner now if you like."

Alec nods, so close to him Magnus finds himself studying his eyelashes, and fighting with his eyes against dropping to his lips. Particularly when Alec licks them and darts his eyes away like he is thinking the same thing, abruptly standing up and carrying their empty teacups through to the kitchen.

"What temperature do you want this on?" Alec says, waving towards the oven when Magnus joins him just a couple of seconds later.

Magnus reaches out to adjust the setting how he wants it and smiles as Alec takes the dish he's prepared from the fridge.

"This looks amazing."

"It's something Catarina and I used to cook together on, well. Days like this one."

They both turn to look out at the grey views beyond Alec's window and sigh.

"I bought that wine we had last time," Alec tells him moving across the kitchen to a counter. "I liked it a lot."

"As did I," Magnus agrees, watching as Alec opens the bottle and pours them a glass. "This should only take a little while to heat through."

"So," Alec says, clinking their glasses together, "maybe we should find something else to watch."

"We could watch Project Runway," Magnus suggests, secretly loving the show even if it's more for laughing at it than watching quality content.

"Uh—"

"Trust me. At times it is just as terrifying as that _thing_ we just saw. Just with more… sparkle, and less teeth."

"That sounds—"

"Awful, I know. But it's hilarious. We could even turn it into a drinking game. One sip for every bad outfit," he adds, waving his glass.

"I've never seen the show, but… wouldn't that be… every single one of them?" Alec asks, watching as Magnus checks the temperature of the oven and slides in his dish before setting the timer.

"Exactly. Bring the bottle," Magnus tells him, already sauntering away with an exaggerated sway in his walk, smirking to himself at the thought of Alec watching him.

"You have an interest in this stuff, right?" Alec says as he sits down and searches for the show. "Fashion, I mean."

"Only a little."

"Magnus," Alec says, laughing, "how can you—you always look so _good_. I can't believe your interest is just _a little_."

Alec is looking at him now, and he's looking hard, eyes lingering up the length of his pants and over the front of his freshly pressed shirt. They stray up over Magnus' face then come to a stop at his upper arm. He licks his lips, eyes flaring a little perhaps because he's realized how long he's been staring, then takes a sip of his wine, still watching Magnus over the top of his glass.

"Well. Thank you."

He doesn't know what else to say, but even if he did he's not sure a single word would come out right. Because Alec really is _looking_ at him; he's either staring at something wrong with his appearance that Magnus didn't notice in his scrutiny in the mirror before leaving, or he's working up the courage to get out something he wants to say out loud.

"So. You'll have to tell me if anything on here is something you think is good," Alec says after several long, agonizing seconds, smiling as though he's forgotten he was staring, and nods towards the screen.

Magnus wants to yell, or do something to drag back Alec's attention, but just smiles when he settles against the cushions beside him. "I will."

"See, that doesn't look so bad," Alec says, gesturing at the first thing that appears on the screen, "I can see Izzy wearing something like that."

"Your sister, from what little I have seen of her, could wear any outfit and look utterly beautiful."

"Yeah, probably."

"This wine is excellent by the way," Magnus says, swirling his glass before taking a sip. "I only thought to bring one bottle."

"My mother. She enjoys wine. I remembered the label when I went for groceries."

Magnus reaches out to read the label for himself making a note of the name then leans back, and takes a risk by sitting a little closer. Alec doesn't seem to object, in fact, he settles a little more comfortably himself. Until he's moving again, plucking at the front of his shirt with a grimace.

"Dammit."

"Everything okay?" Magnus asks, watching Alec prod at a spot on his shirt that he thinks must be a splash from washing dishes or something before he arrived.

"Yeah, just… messy," Alec says with a rueful sigh as he looks up. "I'll be back in a second."

Magnus nods, watching Alec get to his feet and walk away from him, trying not to let his mind wander to watching Alec remove his shirt. He forces his gaze around the room instead, taking in Alec's furniture, the photo frame on his coffee table, and the few pieces of wall art. Alec's home is simple, yet elegant, and perfectly suits him. Magnus can't wait to be able to put the same kind of stamp on his own home so that it is unmistakably his.

"I've been meaning to ask you about this," Alec says as he comes back in the living room, toying with what Magnus thinks is a business card as he turns it over, studying it front and back.

"Oh?"

"It's… _yours_. I took a couple from your counter before. Had them in my wallet. I keep meaning to ask you about it but keep forgetting."

Magnus watches him turn the card over repeatedly, liking the idea that Alec has helped himself to the cards on his counter, yet groaning in anticipation of what he might want to ask.

"Well? What would you like to know?"

"Well. It's, uh… I mean, I love it. I just… it doesn't really say what you _do_. Not—not really."

"Oh, you are telling me," Magnus says, groaning as he always does when he thinks of his business cards, plucking it from Alec's fingers and glaring at the image of himself before turning it over to look at the back. At least with the image of the oil being poured into a hand there is _some_ sort of connection to his natural remedies.

"So…"

"This," Magnus says, brandishing the card with as much disdain as he can give it, "was a _gift_. The gift that keeps on giving, and, apparently I am too foolish to do anything about."

A tiny dart of a smile hits Alec's face before he nods in encouragement. Magnus sighs, turning the card over again as he shakes his head.

"I worked privately—essentially, from spare rooms and couches, whatever space I could make my own—making the various remedies and products that I do today, for a number of years before I bought The Lucky Cat. And at the time, my _dear friend_ Ragnor told me repeatedly that my business cards were too plain. _Boring_."

"What did they used to look like?" Alec asks, laughing a little.

"They were elegant. _Simple_. Silver lettering embellished on a plain black card. Reading only _The Apothecary_ on the front, with my contact details and an image of a range of my products on the back—which, like you pointed out, showed what I actually _do_."

"So… what happened?"

"Ragnor happened," Magnus says, groaning even if he is still laughing at the memory. "To celebrate the purchase of my store, Catarina, Ragnor, and I threw an impromptu party. One where a _lot_ of alcohol was consumed. The following morning, let's just say that not even any of my hangover cures would help."

"Sounds like it was quite a night," Alec says, laughing again.

"Oh, it was," Magnus agrees. "But as the three of us were recovering, laid on couches at various stages of feeling sorry for ourselves, Ragnor took it upon himself to design me a new business card—to incorporate the fact that I now had a store. I vaguely remember him asking Catarina for a photo of me, but, Alexander; I was in no fit state to do anything, much less pay attention."

"So… what happened with these cards?" Alec asks, taking the card from him to look over once more.

"Well. I had already chosen the design of the cat in the window, along with the lettering. I suppose Ragnor must have taken them both from emails I had shared with him and Catarina. And, well. The rest is history, I suppose."

"You… so what happened?"

"Ragnor paid for five thousand of these things. _Five thousand_ ," Magnus repeats, waving the card again. "Which I didn't find out about until I received a delivery of them at the store. And for reasons I am… yet to work out, I have kept to using these things. I promised myself I'd design a new one when this current batch ran out, but, Ragnor ordered yet more of them."

"They're… beautiful cards," Alec says, stroking his thumb over Magnus' picture in what he decides is affection. "I mean, _you_ look good here. And they… well, they're _memorable_. Plus, I guess… _Lucky Cat's Creations_ is kind of… fitting. Right?" 

Magnus screws up his face though can't help looking at the image of himself on the card, and groans in grudging agreement. "I suppose they are… distinctive, if nothing else."

"So… why the cat eyes?" Alec asks, raising his head slowly and studying Magnus' own eyes.

"A Halloween party many, many years ago. I had decided to go as a warlock, who, naturally, had cat eyes. Catarina and I spent hours trawling through the stores for the perfect contacts. I think I still have them somewhere."

"They suit you," Alec says, grinning at him, still studying Magnus' face.

"Well, thank you. They are a little too much for everyday use obviously. But, for that party, and for one or two others since, they have become, I suppose, part of my attire."

"I'd… like to see them for myself," Alec tells him, the intensity of his gaze making Magnus suck in a breath.

"Then, you'll just have to come to a party with me sometime, won't you?"

"Count on it," Alec replies, and there is another moment of _something_ that passes between them before Magnus' stomach begins to knot, before he's changing the subject again.

They get through the majority of an episode of _Project Runway_ before the oven is pinging to say their dinner is ready, the two of them jostling and laughing as they pile up their plates.

"You, uh… maybe we can sit on the couch?" Alec says, turning his back to Magnus only to spin around with two trays. "I bought these last night since we… since you were coming here to watch movies with me. I thought… it seemed like a good idea."

Magnus looks at the trays Alec is holding up for him to see, one with a picture of a cow, and the other a beautiful black cat, then back to Alec waiting for his explanation.

"And since I know you like cats… I got this one for you," Alec adds, ducking his head. It's a good thing he does, really, because it gives Magnus a few seconds to school in just how ridiculously wide his smile is for the gesture.

"It's a great idea," Magnus enthuses when Alec eventually looks up, lifting each plate in turn for Alec to slide a tray under, then carrying the cat one through to sink down beside him on the couch with.

"This is so good," Alec says with his mouth full after just one bite, already sticking his fork back in for more.

"It's just a tray bake. Full of good herbs and spices and a mixture of, well. All sorts of things."

He doesn't say that he spend an age in his favorite market picking out all the very best ingredients, and has another one of these at home. Two, really; he's made up three batches so he could bring the best one over to Alec's. He even bought a new pan for it. And new oven dishes. 

"It's amazing."

Conversation over dinner falls to a similar pattern as earlier, with Alec talking about the few dishes he likes making, admitting that his skill in the kitchen is a little unvaried. The wine disappears quickly, with a second bottle opened and poured just before Alec stacks the dishwasher, and Magnus can feel the pleasant numbness of it when they sink back down on the couch.

"Oops. Sorry," Alec says with a burst of laughter as he drops down beside him, nudging into Magnus' thigh. They're not drunk, not with the amount of food they've just eaten, but they are full and comfortable, and Alec doesn't shift too far away.

"I would say I should have brought something for dessert, but currently, I don't think I have room."

"Oh, there's ice cream if we feel like it later," Alec says with a lazy wave of his hand, dropping his head back against the back of the couch with a contented huff.

The TV is on but neither of them watching, instead just making idle conversation to the backdrop of its noise as they relax after their meal. Magnus is comfortable with Alec; there is no other way to describe the settled feeling he gets from being in his company, the words flowing from them both with ease.

But there is something missing. They've been staring a little longer, touching a little freer, and though those touches are innocent, nothing more than lingered grips on arms or longer hugs, they all _mean_ something to Magnus. He wants more, and if he's not got this disastrously wrong, he's fairly sure Alec wants something too.

Magnus feels out of his depth though. This whole situation with Alec feels different, even if Magnus hasn't let himself feel anything like this for years so might just be out of practice. He hasn't wanted someone this much and this hard in so long, or maybe ever, and all his senses are off as a result. Should he be brave and ask to take Alec on that date he's been toying with the idea of for weeks, or just close the gap between them here on this couch right now, and steal a kiss?

"What are you thinking?" Alec asks, lifting his head to look at him, so that Magnus can be fascinated once more by the length of his eyelashes from how close they're sat.

"Nothing."

"Is that why you stopped talking? Didn't answer my question?"

"Oh," Magnus says, his eyes blowing wide, "I'm sorry, Alec. What did you ask me?"

Alec's smile is ridiculous. Magnus can't help but look at it, making it even more tempting to lean in for that kiss.

"I said, what would you be doing tonight if you weren't here?"

"Oh. I suppose… I'm not sure. Perhaps at Catarina's. Maybe I would have a drink with Luke. Or maybe even at home with the company of a good book."

"No crazy parties with cat eyes?"

"Only sometimes," Magnus replies, though it really has been years since parties have been a regular feature of his life.

"I could go dancing," Alec says then, turning his head a little more to look at him.

"You could?"

"I mean, not right now," Alec amends, shuffling closer. "But, I don't know, Magnus. You think you wanna go?"

"Dancing?"

"Yes."

"Uh… when?"

"Maybe next week? I just… I haven't been in… forever. Not since the last time Izzy dragged me somewhere."

"Is Izzy dragging you somewhere next weekend?"

"No," Alec smiles with a sharp shake of his head. "I just… I wanted to maybe go with you."

Magnus' heart leaps in excitement, just about resisting leaning in a little closer himself. "Then, of course. I would love to."

"I don't have anywhere in mind," Alec adds, his smile now shy and adorable.

"Then we will look for somewhere during the week."

"Next Saturday?" Alec asks, hope lifting his voice.

"Next Saturday," Magnus promises, holding out his glass for Alec to clink against, though Alec doesn't follow it up by raising the glass to his mouth.

Alec is staring at him again. Magnus watches him sit up just long enough to push the glass on to the coffee table before slumping back again with an exasperated sigh.

"Alec? Are you okay?"

Alec nods, frowning slightly, and even biting down on his lip. "Yeah. Just thinking."

"About dancing?" Magnus teases, now worried Alec is about to take the suggestion back when he's already pictured them moving together on a crowded dance floor.

"About this," Alec says, with a half-wave between them and a deeper frown.

" _This_?" Magnus echoes, feeling his throat tighten for not knowing what Alec is meaning.

"Magnus," Alec says with a hard blasted out sigh. "I… am I doing something wrong?"

"What?"

Magnus sits up to push his own glass onto the table and turns more towards Alec, who has dropped his head back against the couch again and is staring up at the ceiling.

"I just… I don't know what I'm doing here," Alec says, huffing out in obvious frustration.

"With me?"

A world of self-doubt crashes over Magnus leaving him fearing Alec feels out of his depth in his company and doesn't know the best way to ask him to leave.

"Yes. I just… I don't know what I'm doing."

Alec repeating himself is doing nothing for Magnus' nerves, and that Alec is looking increasingly distressed is only making him feel worse.

"Uh—"

"It's just… am I… we're doing okay. Right?"

Magnus nods, feeling more and more out of his depth.

"And I… it's not that I'm… we've been getting to know each other for _weeks_."

"We have," Magnus agrees, a buzzing in his ears and a hard weight in his stomach, for fear of where this conversation might be going.

"And I—maybe it sounds stupid, or something, but I… I feel like I can probably talk to you about just about anything."

"You can. And I feel the same," Magnus adds, pleased to see his words at least raise a smile.

"I just… I don't know what I'm doing here."

Magnus is lost. He watches Alec's gaze fall to his own lap and a sharp sigh blast from his mouth. The nervous shaking of his arm he's sometimes seen from Alec he might not be able to do sat at this angle on the couch, but his fingers flit continuously by his side, and Magnus doesn't know what to say, or expect.

He opens his mouth to try to speak anyway but Magnus' words fail him, cut off for being pressed back bodily into the couch. Alec blinks down at him looking just as lost as he is feeling, and before Magnus can react at all, Alec is leaning in for a soft, chaste kiss.

Alec looks even more startled when he pulls back, moving just far enough to give Magnus room to breathe, with blush lighting up his face crimson before he's shuffling back across the couch.

"I'm sorry—"

"Alec—"

"I shouldn't have done that—"

"But—"

"At least, I should have _asked_."

" _Alec_."

"I'm so sorry."

Magnus chases a retreating Alec across the couch, half-draped over him when he finally gets him to stop. He's leaning hard on Alec's chest so can feel how frantically his heart is racing, and his eyes drop to watch the way Alec keeps swallowing and licking his lips.

"Now. What were you apologizing for?" Magnus asks, curling his fingers around Alec's hip and holding steady; close enough so Alec knows he's not going anywhere yet with enough space to move if he wants to sit up.

"I shouldn't have done that."

"Done what?"

"...kissed you."

"Says who?"

"At least, I shouldn't have done it without asking. And I shouldn't have just… pinned you down like that," Alec adds, his eyes darting over Magnus' face, contrition written all over his own even if his gaze does keep dropping to his mouth.

"Do I look like I was objecting?"

"...well, you haven't stormed out and slammed a door in my face yet."

"That's probably because I wasn't objecting."

"Then… you've got no problem with me trying to kiss you?" Alec asks, and it makes Magnus want to laugh for the surprise in his voice.

"Only that you _stopped_."

"Then—"

Magnus leans in and kisses him, smiling at the tiny blast of surprise against his lips, squeezing Alec's side in reassurance as he begins to learn the shape of his mouth. He closes his eyes as a shaky hand sweeps up his arm and awkwardly comes to rest around the nape of his neck, fingertips creeping to toy with the base of his hair.

Magnus moves back slightly since the angle he's landed at means Alec's elbow is digging into his rib, and Alec uses the space to sneak his free arm around him, pulling Magnus closer still. This isn't the best position to be in but Magnus doesn't want to nudge back any further despite wishing they could be laid out together on the couch.

"Are you okay?" he whispers when he pauses to take a breath.

"Yeah," Alec replies, pushing forward so they're more upright, and leaning in to claim his mouth again.

Alec is hesitantly exploring him. One hand cradling the back of his head and playing with strands of Magnus' hair as the other repeatedly squeezes at his side as he tilts his head and chases Magnus' mouth. There are soft hums that say how much Alec is enjoying this, and even softer gasps for breath each time he takes a pause, before he's leaning in and kissing him again like he's been starved of it—which is exactly how Magnus feels about the entire situation, pulling Alec ever closer even though there is no space to.

Alec's heart is still pounding when they pull apart once more, though Magnus is pleased to feel his posture is now more relaxed. Magnus presses closer still, smiling in reassurance in between more kisses. Sighing with his own relief to see Alec smiling back at him.

"That… I needed that," Alec adds, and though he hesitates before doing it reaches out to slot their fingers together, squeezing Magnus' hand.

"As did I."

"I didn't even know if you wanted—"

"Oh, believe me, Alec. I wanted."

"Then why didn't you say anything?" Alec asks, his voice incredulous as it rises.

"Because I didn't know if _you_ were interested," Magnus replies as he plays with his ear cuff, all his worries over not knowing if Alec was flirting or not, or if he was just _wishing_ that he was, now seeming silly. But he doesn't mind, not one bit, because Alec is right here with him now, still holding on to his hand.

"Magnus," Alec laughs, and it's that delighted affectionate laughter that Magnus has grown to like so much, "did you really think that I kept coming back to your store, week after week, just to buy _tea_? It's great tea, obviously, but. Magnus… you know I kept coming back because of _you_. Right?"

Magnus feels like the biggest idiot, but also the happiest idiot, and is smiling so hard that it hurts. "Oh," he says because right now he's having trouble getting his words out.

"I could never be sure if you were flirting back at me," Alec adds, taking his turn to look mortified. "I know I'm pretty bad at it, so, I thought maybe you didn't even know I was trying."

Magnus can't help himself. He drops Alec's hand only to grab his face and pull him in for another kiss, though even that's almost impossible for how hard he can feel Alec smiling against his mouth.

"Tell me you weren't holding back just 'cos I told you I haven't… just because I'm… sort of _new_ to all this," Alec says in between the soft kisses that they've had to resort to since they can't apparently stop smiling at each other.

Alec's expression is earnest and worried even though he is smiling, and more than ever Magnus needs to take it away.

"Alec," Magnus says, leaning in for one more quick kiss, "that is… only one consideration. One very small consideration. At least for me, anyway."

"Oh?"

"It has been a while since I have let myself feel anything for anyone. I didn't want to rush anything without being more… sure."

"So you're… maybe you're just as… maybe you're just as nervous about this as I am?" Alec asks, squeezing his hand again, and that little look of hope from before reappears in his eyes.

"Probably, yes. But I don't think we don't have to be nervous, Alec; not now that we… well. We're both admitting how we feel. At least, I _think_ that's what we're doing here," Magnus adds, struck by another wave of self-doubt.

"Magnus," Alec says with a smile, his voice low, and soft, and all for _him_. Magnus closes his eyes as Alec kisses him again, focusing on the feel of his lips against his own and the thumb swirling a circle over the back of his hand.

"Then… what we are doing now is continuing to get to know each other better," Magnus says when they break apart again. “As we have been doing over these past few months. Only without quite so much… second-guessing, I suppose. Now that we're very much on the same page."

It sounds right, even if Magnus has been fretting over this in his own head about what he might _mean_ to Alec for what is now a couple of months.

"Taking it slow?" Alec suggests, leaning in more confidently to kiss him.

"Exactly."

"So. If we're… if we're doing that. If we're taking it slow. Can we… I mean, I can still kiss you, right?"

There is such innocent, hesitant hope in Alec's voice that Magnus feels both out of his depth and certain of exactly what he is doing all at once. He tugs Alec closer so they're more comfortable, half-sprawled out on the couch the way he'd wanted them just a few minutes before. He tilts his chin in encouragement, smiling at the sigh blasting against his lips as Alec kisses him again. Losing himself in the feel of Alec pressed tight against him with nothing but the murmur of the TV playing unattended in the background.

* * *

 


	9. Chapter 9

Magnus is sure Mondays have never been so good. He got a call from the realtor this morning to say that everything from the apartment sale is going well, and that it should only be another few weeks before he can start his preparations to move in. His deliveries have been on time, and all his customers cheerful. And even though it's raining outside Magnus feels like it's the brightest of days.  
  
It's Alec, of course, who he spent most of the rest of Saturday evening making out with, who kissed him in the doorway as he was leaving his apartment like he didn't want him to go, and has been texting him the sweetest messages ever since. Catarina had the most fun teasing Magnus on Sunday when he spent the day with her and Madzie, for Magnus constantly being distracted and smiling for all the messages popping up on his phone.  
  
Alec is sweet, and hesitant, as much as he's growing in confidence, and continues to throw in a constant tease to his words. And the flirting, oh the _flirting_ , Magnus thinks as he catches himself scrolling through Alec's messages, that has certainly turned up a notch.  
  
"Hey."  
  
Magnus looks up, surprised and delighted all at once to find Alec walking towards him, his cheeks the slightest hint of pink as he comes to a stop at the counter.  
  
"Well, hello. This is a nice surprise."  
  
"It is?"  
  
That Alec's not sure about that Magnus has to rectify immediately and does so by standing, leaning across the counter for a quick kiss before sitting back down.  
  
"Yes," he tells him, watching the way Alec's face lights up in a smile.  
  
"I figured I'd take a risk and see if you were free tonight. I know you said you had some stuff to prepare, but I thought… I wondered if maybe you wanted some company doing it."  
  
Magnus can only see the top of Alec's arm from where he's sat at the counter but knows he's doing that nervous shaking thing he does with his hand as he asks.  
  
"That would be wonderful," Magnus agrees, already imagining Alec perched on a chair upstairs watching him prepare the treatment he is making this evening, and not letting too many stray thoughts get in his head about getting him on his bed instead.  
  
"Great. What time are you finishing?"  
  
Magnus looks around Alec's shoulder at the clock over the door and wills time to speed up. "In about half an hour."  
  
"Want me to get you anything? Do we… maybe I could pick something up for dinner? I got wine just in case," Alec adds, pulling a bottle from where it's been tucked inside his jacket.  
  
"Actually, if you don't mind having what we had on Saturday evening, I should probably use up what I still have left of that."  
  
"That's perfect," Alec says, smiling even harder. Magnus thinks his jaw is going to start aching with how much he's echoing that smile. "Do you want me to come back, or—"  
  
"You can wait here if you want to," Magnus says, waving him to come behind the counter.  
  
"Hi," Alec says as he leans over him, darting a quick look at the store, then leaning in for another kiss.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"I can hear talking," Alec tells him, his hand curled around the nape of Magnus' neck as he speaks.  
  
"There are a couple of customers looking at scented candles down the aisle towards the back."  
  
"Regulars?" Alec asks, his eyes falling to his lips repeatedly.  
  
"They are."  
  
"So. You'll know when they're coming here to pay?"  
  
"I will," Magnus agrees, the brush of Alec's fingers over his jaw warm as he angles his face up, pressing their mouths together again.  
  
Magnus leans towards him, pressing one hand against his chest, determined one second not to get too distracted as he's still working, and losing himself entirely in Alec the next. It isn't until there is a discreet though amused clearing of a throat that he pulls back sharply, with Alec looking just as stunned as they turn to look at Magnus' waiting customers.  
  
"I apologize—"  
  
"No, don't," Molly says with a smile that Magnus thinks is about ten seconds from breaking out into a squeal and talking rapidly about them being _cute_.  
  
Molly and her mom Cynthia have been coming into his store for more than a year now. The way they're beaming back at him currently leads Magnus to believe that the next time they're in, there will be questions. Lots of them.

He thinks he's got away with it for now, and can deal with the thought of a friendly interrogation at a later date. But then Cynthia isn't moving once he's slid her parcels across the counter, and is smiling so hard at Alec that Magnus is now worried he'll feel out of his depth.

"Magnus," Cynthia says, in a soft, teasing voice, "I only wanted to say—"

" _Mom—"_

"That it's nice to see you smiling so much," Cynthia finishes, ignoring Molly's embarrassed whine.

"Thank you," Magnus replies, and makes stuttering introductions between them all. It takes Molly several tugs on Cynthia's sleeve before they're finally stepping away from the counter and waving goodbye.

"I hope I didn't get you into trouble," Alec says as they watch Molly and Cynthia leave.  
  
"Trouble? In my own store?"  
  
"Well… yeah."  
  
"I think I am free to kiss anyone I choose to in my own store," Magnus teases, once again watching Alec break out into a smile.  
  
"Oh, really."  
  
"Yes. And as luck would have it, the only person I _want_ to kiss is already here."  
  
"That's… convenient."

"Oh, it is," Magnus agrees, inches from leaning in to kiss him again when the bell of the door interrupts them, and Alec is pulling back with a huffed out chuckle.  
  
"If you want to, you can go and wait upstairs," Magnus tells him after turning to smile at the man who's just walked in, and has directed him to the rock salt lamps he keeps towards the back of the store to shade from the sun.  
  
"You're sure?" Alec asks, straightening up Magnus' stack of business cards on the counter before picking one up and smiling at it.  
  
"Yes," Magnus says, smiling as he watches him. "Although, I can't promise it is particularly tidy up there."  
  
"I think I'll manage," Alec says as he stands, squeezing Magnus' shoulder and ducking in for one final kiss. Magnus smiles listening to Alec's footfall as he climbs the stairs behind him, and demands to himself that he focus on work; at least for a few minutes.

* * *

It's a strange feeling for Magnus knowing there is someone waiting for him upstairs as he closes and locks the door of The Lucky Cat. He smoothes down the front of his shirt and runs a hand through his hair in an attempt to tidy it, then checks everything is in order at the counter and takes a deep breath before making his way up the stairs. Alec is stood by the window looking out at the street, turning on his heel the second he hears Magnus approach.  
  
"All finished?"  
  
Magnus nods, making his way towards him and telling his stomach it isn't knotting with nerves. Before he can hesitate he's pressing up against Alec, curling his fingertips over his shoulders as he leans in for a kiss. Alec stumbles closer, hands already slipping down to grip his waist as he kisses him back. This is only the second time they've kissed for any length of time and already Magnus has decided he loves the way Alec sags against him in relief, continuing to pull him ever nearer.

They _fit_. It's a stupid thing to be thinking, and something he might not be able to say out loud. But kissing Alec feels so _natural_ to him it's almost as though they've done it a hundred times before. Perhaps it's this slow getting to know one another they've been doing, or that, at the core of what they are to one another, is _friends_. Magnus doesn't think he's been with anyone before Alec who has gone out of their way to make him laugh quite like Alec does. Or, Magnus thinks as he smiles at Alec's sigh blasted against his lips as he pulls back, this is just the honeymoon period, and he's so pleased to just _be_ with Alec that all he can see between them are good things.  
  
"Hey," Alec whispers, and before Magnus can answer has wrapped him up in a hug. That Alec is so affectionate and so willing to openly be affectionate with him is something Magnus wasn't expecting, but thinks he could get used to pretty quickly, once again adding a trait of Alec's to his list of things he's not experienced much of before.  
  
"This might be the nicest way I've ended my working day in a while," Magnus tells him, leaning a little more firmly against him and pleased to see how much Alec seems to like the gesture.  
  
"Even all the times we've had dinner or something? Because they were pretty great ways to end the day for _me._ "

"Yes. But only because you weren't up here waiting for me any of those times."  
  
"Then, maybe we should make the most of there being an upstairs for me to wait _in_ ," Alec teases, punctuating it with another kiss.  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Magnus. You'll be in your new apartment soon."  
  
"That's true. You're quite right," he adds, pressing back even more insistently until Alec is flush with the wall.  
  
"I mean. I hope I get to see you there as well—if you want me to."  
  
"Oh, I do," Magnus replies, smiling as he leans in to kiss him again. Though feeling Alec's lips curling up in a smile that makes it impossible to keep going.  
  
"Is this supposed to be this easy?" Alec asks when they pull apart, leaning his head back against the wall as he studies him.  
  
"What?"  
  
" _This_ ," Alec repeats with a squeeze around his hips. "Being with someone. Just… just that."  
  
It makes Magnus pause, reminds him Alec has said on numerous occasions that's he's new to this. It doesn't make him cautious as such but does make him think they have some navigating to do on this.  
  
"You've never… but you've—"  
  
"I've been on dates," Alec blurts out, telling Magnus something they've already discussed. "Spent, uh, _time_ with people I thought I wanted to get to know, but never really did. And, you know. Other stuff. I tried… _meeting_ people, and it was… like I told you before. If I'm not… I think I have to know a person first before I… before I want anything else with them. And of course, up until not all that long ago I was trying to convince myself I wasn't… that I just liked _women_ —"  
  
"Can I ask why?" Magnus asks, even though they've had a similar conversation about this before, only a few days ago, in fact. He wants to get this clear in his head, and help Alec be comfortable with anything he wants to tell him, so smiles back in encouragement and waits as Alec takes a moment to find his words.  
  
"Just… my family's kind of—I always thought they'd be stuck in these really old-fashioned views. I don't… I guess I've always expected them to react badly to me being anything other than _normal_."  
  
Magnus nods, trying to imagine what it must be like needing to get family approval, and can't. "Oh."  
  
"Hey."  
  
Alec's hands are gentle as they cup his face, drawing him into a slow, thorough kiss. Magnus grips around his waist a little tighter, swirling his thumb over Alec's shirt there, and smiling as Alec nudges against his cheek for him to look up.  
  
"Magnus. I don't want you to treat me any different just because I… just because I don't have a lot of experience."  
  
"I—"  
  
"I'll let you know if there's anything I don't want, or I'm… not ready for, or something," he adds, pressing a kiss to his temple.  
  
"I hadn't even considered treating you differently," Magnus replies, and it feels like an honest thing to say. Most of his hesitance has had little to do with Alec at all, and more to do with himself.  
  
"Well, _good_ ," Alec says, ducking for another kiss then wrapping him up in another hug. "Now. Don't you have some cream or something to make?"  
  
"I do have several things to make, or at least finish making," Magnus agrees with a final squeeze at Alec's waist before pulling away, "though I am quite hungry. Would you like to eat first?"  
  
"Tell you what. You start making your _thing_ , and if you trust me in your kitchen, I'll get dinner ready."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Of course," Alec says, gesturing towards the kitchen. Magnus nods in agreement and walks over to his closet for a change of clothes.  
  
"I'll just get changed," he calls, locking himself in the bathroom to throw on lounge pants and the sleeveless shirt he favors for when he's mixing things. He doesn't expect the appreciative look Alec gives him when he steps back out, or the way he prowls towards him for another kiss that sees Alec's hands pressing slowly upwards over the front of his shirt, then stroking down over his bare arms.  
  
"Sorry," Alec says looking anything but as he turns away, leaving Magnus stood watching him with what is probably a stupid smile stuck on his face.  
  
Magnus sets up his table when he unsticks himself from staring after him, disappointed for a second that they'll have to be wedged into the small fold up table to eat again because he needs the space on the other. But then Alec starts telling him about his day, asks questions about how busy the store has been, and how Catarina and Madzie are, and Magnus is distracted enough not to worry about them being cramped.  
  
Alec comes up behind him, sweeping his hands down Magnus' arms as he ducks and presses a kiss to his shoulder, resting his chin there as he watches what he's doing.  
  
"This looks complicated," Alec says, with Magnus turning just in time to catch the sweeping gaze he's giving his table.  
  
"It's not too bad. It's just a case of getting the amounts right and the consistency to one that is… pleasant."  
  
"It smells good," Alec says, pressing another kiss to his shoulder before pulling away again and returning to the kitchen. Magnus seals the lid on the sample of shampoo he's sending along with the treatment he's currently preparing and turns to watch Alec searching for glasses and plates.  
  
This is nice, Magnus thinks, warmth blooming in his chest for how easy this is, how good it is to have someone here with him. Before Alec, Magnus can't remember having any company for more than a few minutes here over the store at any time. He has to reach back further into his memories for other times he's had such a domestic evening with someone, but doesn't want to think too hard about that.

Right now he's here with Alec, and Alec is finding his way around his kitchen, repeatedly coming in to check on him, and keeping up a steady stream of conversation that makes Magnus feel like he belongs somewhere. Which is an odd feeling, he thinks, but isn't sure how else to put it.  
  
"Okay, I think maybe another five minutes and it'll be ready."  
  
"Then, I'll go wash up."  
  
Magnus gets as far as standing, but then Alec is crowding up against him and kissing him again. His hands sweep up and come to a stop over his upper arms, squeezing and swirling his thumbs there, his lips curling up into a smile.  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's just… sometimes when I see you in some of your shirts, I can't… I don't know how you get _in_ them," Alec says, blushing as Magnus looks back at him. "I mean, _look_ at you."  
  
Alec emphasizes his words by squeezing his arms again, and Magnus takes his turn to blush.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"You're… sometimes when I'm at work and I let myself get distracted, all I can think about is how good you look," Alec adds, and Magnus' cheeks fill with heat.  
  
"I—"  
  
"You're beautiful," Alec tells him, thumb beneath his chin to prevent him from looking away. And then he's leaning in to kiss him again, and Magnus can't stop smiling.  
  
"And _you_ are distracting," Magnus announces when they hear the oven timer ping.  
  
"Go wash up," Alec tells him with one final soft kiss.  
  
Magnus smiles on his way to the bathroom, beams at his reflection in the mirror, and has to compose himself so he doesn't appear just as giddy as he's feeling before he walks back out. Alec has plated up already, and is balancing glasses of wine in the too-small space on the table in between.  
  
"I promise that once I have my new apartment, I will make and serve you dinner in less cramped conditions," Magnus says as he precariously sits down not wanting to knock into anything.  
  
"Looking forward to it," Alec replies, holding out his glass for Magnus to clink against. "Are you gonna need some help moving, or packing, or anything?"  
  
"Possibly. Probably. More than likely," Magnus admits as he picks up his cutlery, his stomach giving an excited jolt for the thought of Alec offering to help.  
  
"Then, tell me what you need and when you need it, and I'll be here," Alec says as he begins to eat, humming around his mouthful of food. "This is so good."  
  
"Sometimes these things improve when they are reheated."  
  
"Tastes good either way."  
  
"You'll have to let me know what your favorite dish is if you are offering to help me move," Magnus tells him, hoping he isn't coming across as too presumptuous.  
  
"Barbecued chicken," Alec replies, watching Magnus over the top of his glass as he takes a sip of wine.

"Barbecued chicken."

"Yeah."

"Have you ever been to Hill Country?" Magnus asks, thinking of the restaurant that always smells of the most succulent barbecued meat and makes his mouth water just for remembering the place that he last went to for a birthday party of Luke's.

"Not yet."

"Then. Once I have moved in, to thank you for your help, I plan on taking you there. They have excellent barbecue platters. _Or_ , we can order a barbecue box to eat at home."

"Whatever you think," Alec replies as he smiles at him, their conversation turning to Magnus' choices of furniture that he wants to order, as well as the small van he's considering hiring because he doesn't really have all that many personal things to take.  
  
"I thought you said you had a ton of stuff at Catarina's?" Alec asks, waving his glass to ask if Magnus wants a refill.  
  
"It's mostly books," Magnus says as Alec stands, and waiting for him to return with the wine bottle before continuing, smiling as he tries to wedge it on the table and settles for standing it on the floor. "I think if I hire a van I can go to Catarina's first to pick up the books and the few other things I have there, then come here."  
  
"You're doing this on a weekend, right?"  
  
"Yes, that would be the easiest option."  
  
"Then, you have me all weekend to help, whenever it is. Whatever I'm doing."

"I wouldn't expect you to give up your archery—"

"Then, _almost_ all weekend, if it happens to fall at the same time," Alec amends. smiling and waving away the concern on Magnus' face.

"Alec—"

"So if it takes a few trips, we can do it," Alec tells him, the smile on his face making Magnus' stomach knot in excitement once again.  
  
"Thank you," Magnus says after a moment to compose himself for that excitement.  
  
"And I guess you're still gonna work here for a while?" Alec asks, waving at what Magnus takes to mean the store below. "You mentioned Dot—"  
  
"Dot won't be ready to take over here for another few months anyway. Which is good; it gives me the chance to get everything in the best order I can, as well as attempt to do more to build up my client base."  
  
"I like your website," Alec says, smiling as he ducks his head, "and your blog for it. I think I read every single post the other night in one go."  
  
"Well. There are worse things to read if you can't sleep," Magnus replies, earning himself an indignant raised eyebrow.  
  
"The only reason I couldn't sleep was because I couldn't stop _reading_ ," Alec retorts, staring back as though daring Magnus to say anything in disagreement.  
  
"Thank you," Magnus settles for saying, toying with his fork against his plate as he grins helplessly back at Alec.  
  
"Izzy _loves_ your blog," Alec adds as he goes back to his food. "Turns out she's been buying stuff from you for a while online. I don't think she realized you had the store as well at first."  
  
Magnus thinks of Izzy's knowing look at him in The Lucky Cat and thinks otherwise, sure she put the two things together a while ago before now. "I should have realized it was her sooner. Though in my defense, most of my clients I have a courier deliver items to, so I don't get to meet them in person."  
  
"Yeah," Alec says, rolling his eyes and smiling, "some guy named Simon, right?"  
  
"You know him?" Magnus asks, pausing with his wine glass halfway to his mouth.  
  
"Might as well do," Alec replies with a huff and pausing to take a sip of his wine. "When I told Izzy about your website and she told me she already knew your stuff, she spent ten minutes telling me how _interesting_ this guy Simon is."  
  
Magnus laughs at that and tries to remember what he knows about Simon that he can share. Then remembers him mentioning someone named _Izzy_ when they last played poker with Luke and Raphael, and another part of the puzzle comes together. "He's an accountant student. Who is also in a band."  
  
"Yeah. Panda something," Alec says, rolling his eyes again, "it's something else Izzy dragged me to. He had a gig in the Hunters Moon not all that long ago that she made me watch. I'm not saying he's not _good_ , but—"  
  
"I've seen him in the Hunters Moon once or twice," Magnus says as he smiles across the table at Alec thinking about how many times they might have been in the same places at the same time and not noticed one another. He can't help assuming Alec is thinking the same for the smile he receives back.  
  
"Small world," Alec replies, reaching across to squeeze his hand.  
  
"It is," Magnus agrees, squeezing back.  
  
When dinner is finished they sit talking for a few minutes before Alec shoos him back to his table and cleans up. He comes to sit beside him, inquisitive as always, reading the label of one of the oils Magnus is using before lifting up and inspecting one of his jars.

"So. What's all this for?" Alec says, nodding at the table. Magnus opens his mouth to speak and turns to him but is stopped from giving an answer by the look on Alec's face, like he's trying to work it out from the ingredients before them.

"This is a treatment for sunburn," Magnus says, brandishing the bottle of witch hazel that he unscrews to pour into the waiting bowl.

"So this needs… this is aloe vera, right?" Alec asks, picking up the small container he apparently recognizes and passing it to him when Magnus flares his fingers for it.

"It is."

"And? Everything else?"

"This is going to form a paste that will be used after my client has burnt themselves after falling asleep in the sun. Obviously, I would probably recommend not doing that in the first place, but. This remedy will take the heat out of the sting of it, and take away some of the redness as well."

"So. What else is going in here?" Alec asks watching him spoon in some honey and screwing the lid back on the jar for him before Magnus gets the chance.

"Lavender oil. And milk," he adds, debating with himself about it first before leaning in to kiss Alec as he stands, grinning all the way to the fridge for the smile he receives in answer.

"That… doesn't look like much of a paste," Alec says when he comes back, watching him pour in the milk.

"You're right. It isn't. This needs one final, magical ingredient," Magnus says, hearing Alec scrape back his chair to follow him over to the kitchen, his stomach fluttering for the hands he feels behind him on his hips.

"And what's that?" Alec asks, nuzzling into his neck and completely distracting Magnus with his kisses there, almost making him drop the food processor he was about to put on the side.

"Uh… oats," Magnus finally manages to blurt out when his mind unfogs, trying not to get distracted again when Alec leans back on the counter to watch him.

"So you… grind these up, put them in that mixture, and… then what?"

"Well. The paste can be applied directly to the skin, and is most effective when left for twenty, perhaps thirty minutes. Though I have known some who apply this in the shower to then wash off almost immediately, like a scrub. Or even others that add it directly to their bathtub."

"And the oats—"

"Have an anti-inflammatory effect," Magnus finishes for him, holding his hand up asking Alec to wait as he turns on the processor for the noise it is about to make.

"Okay," he hears over the blast of noise, smiling as he watches the oats grind down into a fine powder, switching the processor off again when he's happy with the consistency and stepping back.

"Oats are also a great antioxidant. And, combined with the other ingredients, make the best remedy for sunburn that I know. My client is due to go on vacation tomorrow," Magnus adds, pulling the processor's plug from the socket and lifting up its small jug. "If they remember to keep it refrigerated until they leave, and once again as soon as they get there, then this paste should hopefully last them a good few days."

"Where are they going?"

"Aruba," Magnus replies, nodding for Alec to follow him again, then pouring the now-powdered oats into the waiting bowl and mixing until the paste is at the consistency he wants. He adds a few more drops of oil, another splash of witch hazel to make it perfect, then an additional spoon of honey for good measure, and gives the mixture a stir again.  
  
" _Simon_ is actually picking this up tomorrow morning, to deliver it just in time for them to leave for their flight," Magnus tells Alec as he seals the lid on the container and stands to slot it in the fridge, grabbing a box and packaging as he returns.  
  
"Tell him Izzy says hi," Alec mumbles, clearing a space for Magnus to put the box down on and helping him fill it with packaging, which is shredded, recycled newspaper Magnus takes great pleasure in preparing himself.  
  
"I will," Magnus agrees. "Now. All I need to do is print off the label and fill in a small amount of detail on the order form, and then I'm done."  
  
"Was there anything else you needed to do tonight?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"I was thinking. Maybe, if you want, we could take a walk. Maybe work out how long it'll take to get from here to your new place, and then from your place to mine."  
  
"We could do that," Magnus agrees, thinking of walking down the street holding Alec's hand and distracting himself thoroughly from printing his label in the process.  
  
"Or, maybe not," Alec says only a second later, his voice dropping in disappointment.  
  
Magnus turns, looking as Alec peers out the window and grimaces. "Still raining?"  
  
"Yeah. It's pretty bad."  
  
"Then. You will just have to stay here until it stops."  
  
Magnus doesn't look as he speaks, telling himself he's concentrating on filling in his spreadsheet and not worrying about Alec's reaction. Alec wanted to be here with him this evening, he's not offering anything unexpected, and he's not letting his imagination get the better of him for what they could do to pass the time. Not too much, anyway.  
  
"Sounds good," Alec says, coming to stand behind him again, his breath warm up the side of his neck and making Magnus shiver.  
  
"I'm sorry I don't have anywhere more comfortable for us to sit," Magnus adds, with another wave of embarrassment hitting him for how cramped his place is, annoyed with himself that it's taken so long to finally get around to moving.  
  
Magnus hears boots being kicked off and slid together, then a softness that says Alec has sat down on his bed. It makes his stomach give a violent swoop, and it takes Magnus a few seconds before he can turn to look.  
  
"Here's good," Alec says, smiling back at him seeming completely at ease.  
  
Magnus deliberately takes his time to finish off the final details he needs to, then slowly closes the laptop lid before turning around to look again. Alec pats the bed beside him, and Magnus' heart begins to race, with stupid things like _indigestion_ , and _rushing_ going through his mind before he finally crosses the room to sit.  
  
"See?" Alec says, leaning back on his palms.  
  
"I suppose."  
  
Magnus turns to look at him, sees how comfortable Alec is in his space, and can't resist twisting enough to lean back on one hand by his side.  
  
"Are you okay?" Alec asks, staring at him.  
  
"Of course."  
  
"I mean, with me being here."  
  
"Yes," Magnus says, and leans in to kiss him, reaching out to turn his jaw.  
  
"Good," Alec replies, dropping back to his elbows so Magnus has to follow him and ends up sprawled half on top of him.  
  
Alec takes advantage of the position by sneaking an arm around his back to pull him closer still, smiling up in triumph that Magnus decides proves he's planned it.  
  
"Alexander. If you wanted to lay down with me—"  
  
"You're the one who pointed out you don't have a couch—"  
  
"I said, I wished I had somewhere more comfortable for us to sit," Magnus retorts, but since they're already rearranging themselves so they're stretched out the full length of the bed instead of across it, it seems a poor argument.  
  
"I don't mind," Alec says, his fingers wrapping around Magnus' waist, and after he's taken a breath that Magnus thinks is for courage, sneaking a hand up the back of his shirt.  
  
"No?" Magnus asks as he settles, allowing himself to lean on Alec instead of bracing above him.  
  
"Not at all," Alec says, arching up to claim his mouth with a soft huff.  
  
Magnus follows as Alec sinks back down into his pillows, closing his eyes and reveling in the feel of Alec beneath him. His hands are warm on his back and his chest solid against his own, and every time Magnus moves a fraction Alec does his best to pull him even nearer, becoming impatient enough at one point to grip Magnus' hips and lift him, settling him between his legs.  
  
"Better," he says as he splays them wider to give him room, his voice a little lower, and his look for Magnus full of intent.  
  
Magnus swallows hard for it, but the steady sweep of Alec's hand up his back as he claims his mouth again is soothing, and Magnus lets himself indulge in kissing Alec without overthinking too much. He even ducks to mouth over the tattoo on his neck having forced himself not to in Alec's apartment the other night. Magnus wants to ask about Alec's tattoos but also doesn't want to interrupt what they're doing, so stores those questions up for another time.  
  
Alec angles his head away to give Magnus better access, stuttering as he mouths harder at his neck. "You have any tattoos, Magnus?" Alec asks, his voice deepening further, arching beneath him as Magnus gets brave and traces out the shape of his tattoo with his tongue and teeth.

"None."

"Maybe I have enough for the both of us," Alec says, swallowing repeatedly as he sweeps his hands over Magnus' back.

Magnus pulls back enough to kneel between his thighs, tracing his fingertips in tease over the tattoos on Alec's arms. "Perhaps."

"They're, uh… everywhere," Alec adds, first catching his eye then quickly looking away.

"Everywhere?" Magnus asks in interest, holding onto Alec's waist as he settles more comfortably on his knees.

"Here," Alec says with a dismissive wave at his own chest. "My back. One on my right calf, and a couple on my thighs."

Magnus watches the hesitant though deliberate swirl of Alec's thumb over what presumably is one of the tattoos on the front of his thigh. Magnus is already mapping him out in his head, though so Alec knows his intentions, first ducks down to kiss over the visible tattoo on his forearm, then after talking himself into doing it scoots down further to press a kiss over where Alec's just swirled his thumb.

The click in Alec's throat for it has Magnus looking up immediately, and the _want_ in Alec's expression has Magnus shifting back up the bed, desperately claiming his mouth.

Alec slots his fingers through Magnus' hair and groans his name against his lips, rolling his hips which sends a shiver right through Magnus and has him punching out his own soft groan. Magnus stirs his hips in answer, deepening their kiss and chasing his tongue as they begin to rut together, shifting just enough to get his hands beneath Alec's shirt.  
  
Alec sucks in a hard breath as Magnus swirls his thumb up his side, beginning to inch up his shirt. He nudges at him so he has room to lift it and tries to roll them over at the same time, which results in them crashing into the wall.  
  
"Oh, shit. Are you okay?"  
  
Alec's hands are everywhere checking him over since it was Magnus who got the full brunt of it, but Magnus is too busy laughing at the shocked look on his face.  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
"Are you sure?" Alec says, shuffling backward to give Magnus room to lay next to him, and curling his hand around his side the moment he settles.  
  
"I'm sure. Though, remind me when I move to not put my bed in the corner of the room."  
  
"You don't exactly have a lot of space here," Alec says, leaning in to kiss him in apology, his thumb swirling out over his hip as though seeking out a potential bruise.  
  
"Weren't you the one telling me I had _ample space_ before?"  
  
"Well. Maybe not for _everything_ ," Alec replies, leaning in once more and kissing him softly, as Magnus shuffles closer, props himself up on one arm, and grips the front of Alec's shirt.  
  
"Then we'll just… have to make do. Now, where were we?"  
  
Alec smiles in answer, splaying his fingers wider, and for the rest of the evening they trade kisses and share stories. Magnus finally learns that Alec's tattoos are the result of several moments of rebellion that he's been collecting over the years since college because his dad hates tattoos. And Magnus admits, when he rarely says anything of the sort to anyone, that sometimes he wishes he'd had a more conventional life.  
  
"But whatever your life has been, it's made you _you_ ," Alec says when he tells him, smiling, his hand forever fluttering over his side as though he doesn't want to stop touching him.  
  
"True."  
  
"And you're perfect as you are," Alec adds, nuzzling against his cheek before kissing him.  
  
"I am far from perfect," Magnus retorts, just about forcing back all the self-deprecating thoughts that on occasion try to force their way out.  
  
"Are to me."  
  
"You say that now," Magnus says, laughing, enchanted by the certainty in Alec's voice. "But give it a few months when you are more used to all my… quirks, and you will probably feel different."

Magnus forces the smile to stay on his face even as his mind races in fear for his presumptuousness.

"Well," Alec says, his expression thoughtful even as he continues to swirl his thumb against Magnus' side. "I kind of like the idea of a few months with you. _Lots_ of months. And getting to know you better than I already do now."  
  
Magnus can't help but smile at that, and for once doesn't scold himself for getting excited. "I look forward to that too."  
  
"And as I get to learn all your _quirks_ , you'll be learning all of mine too," Alec adds with an absent kiss. "So, maybe neither one of us is perfect, but I… isn't that all part of the… why people get together? Sharing all the parts of who they are with someone else, and knowing they accept them for it?"  
  
Magnus smiles again, a settled feeling flooding his chest as he nods in answer, then leans in to kiss Alec once again.

* * *

 


	10. Chapter 10

"Magnus, my friend. What you are, is _lovesick_."

Magnus opens his mouth to protest which only earns him a derisive snort, that Luke makes no effort to conceal as he laughs at him from across their table.

"I am… _happy_ ," Magnus settles for as an amendment to Luke's description of him, hand up at his earcuff for comfort as he tries to avoid the wicked amusement in Luke's eyes.

He isn't _that_ distracted this evening, Magnus thinks, pointlessly defensive. And since arriving at this bar to meet Luke a little over an hour ago, there have only been two occasions when he has checked his phone.

True, he does feel like he's smiling harder than usual, and yes, there is renewed vigor in his every gesture and stride. But he isn't _acting_ any differently, not really. Luke, Magnus decides, is nothing more than an overdramatic tease.

"Yeah, you do have a certain… _glow_ about you, I'll give you that."

Magnus sucks in a breath, counts to ten, and exhales thinking of how grateful he is it's only him and Luke this evening. He couldn't take the doubled efforts of Raphael being here as well, with Luke and Raphael uniting against _him_ when so often they seem to be sizing one another up—even if they are friends.

"Well. I have every reason to be happy. Work is good, my home life is about to be _excellent_ —"

"And you got yourself a new _man_ ," Luke adds for him, with a mirth-filled grin. Once again Magnus thinks of a retort and gives up on it, only responding with a shrug.

"When do I get to meet this _Alec_?" Luke continues when he doesn't get a rise out of him.

"We're _new_ , Luke. We are not—"

"So what you're telling me, here, is that you're far too busy with _each other_ to remember you've got other people around you right now."

"I'm here with you tonight," Magnus points out, fingers up at his earcuff again as he takes a sip from his glass.

"Yeah," Luke huffs, and there is a knowing smirk that accompanies it. "Is that only 'cos _Alec_ has other plans?"

"No," Magnus retorts, only slightly indignant. "You and I were already meeting this evening. I promise not to become one of _those_ people."

Alec _does_ have other plans tonight, but that is completely beside the point.

"And who are _those_ people?"

"Those that, once they enter into a relationship, forget they have anyone else in their lives."

He _won't_ be like that, Magnus thinks, having made that mistake once before with Camille. He is fortunate, really, that Catarina and Ragnor are the incredible people that they are. Otherwise, he would have left himself with very few friends in the world. 

Though he and Alec have seen quite a bit of one another this week, he thinks with an unconscious smile, going over their time together. And they seem to have slotted into one another's lives so easily, without disrupting too much of their own routines. Only in _good_ ways, anyway. So they are _allowed_ to spend a little more time together than they do with anyone else because what they're learning right now is to be together, and is a question of _balance_.

"Right," Luke says, laughing. "Magnus, I'll be honest with you. If you and Alec holed up in that _shoebox_ over your store for the next six months without coming up for air? We'd miss you, obviously, but. Nobody would blame you."

"I don't—"

"Point is. We're _happy_ you're happy," Luke adds, cutting him off. "Even _Raphael_ when he's not scowling like he always does."

"Raphael does not—"

" _Raphael_ is a good guy," Luke says, hands up in defense, "just a… cantankerous one, who's always in a mood about something."

"Not with me he isn't," Magnus argues.

" _Magnus_ ," Luke says, laughing, waving his hand to cut him off. "C'mon, man. I don't wanna talk about Raphael when I already _know_ the guy. Tell me about _Alec_."

Magnus first met Luke back towards the end of his bleaker days after Camille. When constant partying was his typical way of living, and his need for _forgetting_ seeming to never end. Luke has never known him in a relationship, only that he's been sworn off them for years because of a bad one. It isn't a surprise that he's curious about Alec, but Magnus currently doesn't know where to start. Or want to jinx it in any way, which is ridiculous, but he can't rid himself of the thought.

"Alec is… taking me dancing tomorrow night," Magnus settles for saying. And it's true, since Alec is the one that found the club he wants to take him to, has arranged for dinner and drinks at his beforehand, and even planned how long it will take them to get there from home.

Tonight Alec is with _Steven_ and a couple of other old school friends. He's told Magnus that he's offered his services as driver this evening, because the party they're going to is about an hour's drive away, and he doesn't want a hangover that might ruin _their_ night. He even offered to pick _Magnus_ up on the way back if he wanted, even though it would be completely unnecessary since he and Luke are only a few blocks from home. It would just be an excuse to see each other, so they'd talked one another out of it, with soft kisses and endless smiles that meant they'd both gone to bed pretty late last night.

" _Dancing_ , huh? Is that what they're calling it these days?"

"Oh, Lucien. There is no need to be so vul—"

"I'm just saying," Luke says, waving his glass before he drinks from it.

"Well. _Don't_."

"You gotta let me have my fun, man."

"I'd prefer you found some _fun_ of your own," Magnus grumbles into his glass, waving for another drink as a waiter passes.

"I have all the fun I need."

"Then. Perhaps we should talk about _that_ instead."

" _Magnus_ ," Luke says, laughing.

"What do you want to know?" Magnus asks, trying to keep his voice from getting exasperated.

Luke smiles back at him for what feels to Magnus like some very long, agonizing seconds of _waiting_ for whatever fresh teasing is about to come his way, nodding in thanks as the waiter refills his glass. "Is he good to you?"

"Very."

"You like being with him? And he likes being with you?"

Okay, so Luke knows _something_ of his time with Camille, Magnus, amends, forgetting the exact details of everything he's shared with him. If he's asking _this_ question, apparently Luke knows enough.

"I… think so. I mean," Magnus quickly amends with an awkward swallow, " _I_ do. And I think he does."

"Magnus," Luke says, laughing again, "the past couple months I feel like every time I'm messaging you, you're with _Alec_. Pretty sure that means he likes your company."

"Then, why did you ask?" Magnus asks, pretending he doesn't notice the petulance in his own tone.

"'Cos you're not _telling_ me anything," Luke retorts.   

"Alec… is very good at archery," Magnus stutters out, snatching at the first thought that comes into his head.

"Archery?" Luke says, perhaps unsurprisingly looking taken aback.

"Yes," Magnus says, "he even competes. Though he tells me it isn't professionally."

"Still. Pretty impressive. Not something you hear every day."

"Yes," Magnus agrees, with a small, proud smile for Alec. "He has a sister, two brothers, and an almost-sister-in-law. His parents are lawyers, Alec is a director at the University—"

" _Our_ university?" Luke asks interrupting him and waving in the general direction of the university nearby.

"Yes. That one."

"What kind of director?"

"Sports."

"Sports, huh?" Luke asks, another teasing grin beginning to crinkle his eyes.

"Yes."

"So your man is an archer, and the director of the biggest sports faculty in the _state_ ," Luke summarizes for him, clearly on the brink of laughter again.

"I—" _is he?_ Magnus asks himself, hit with guilt that he didn't already know that.

"That's all fairly impressive. No wonder you want to keep him to yourself," Luke teases, and Magnus' cheeks are back to flaring with heat again. "What's he look like?"

" _Luke—_ "

"I'm just trying to picture the guy," Luke says, hands up in a defensive gesture again. "Unless you got yourself some selfies on your phone there that you wanna share with me."

Magnus protectively covers his phone and shakes his head. "He is tall. With hazel eyes, dark hair, and… numerous tattoos."

Luke's mouth twitches in amusement, and Magnus glares at him for whatever he might be thinking before continuing. 

"He is thoughtful and disciplined—"

" _Disciplined_?" Luke repeats, raising an eyebrow.

"I just mean that he trains very hard, and has an incredible work ethic," Magnus replies, waving away whatever thoughts are running rampant in Luke's head.

"And yet, despite all that, he still finds time to be with _you_."

"Yes," Magnus replies, smiling to himself, "he does."

There is always a moment before they are supposed to meet when Magnus holds his breath, thinking Alec might be about to say he's busy or has changed his mind. In the short time, he and Alec have known each other, Alec has not once canceled plans on Magnus or let him down. So why he worries that he might is more to do with his own insecurity, and less to do with _Alec_.

It's silly, really, setting himself up for a fall like this, because there is no doubt that circumstances might one day mean that they have to change their plans. But for every time Alec arrives exactly at the time they have agreed, or shows up unannounced just to see him, it puts a flutter of trust back in Magnus' heart. It's something that Magnus intends to hold on to for as long as he gets to experience it.

"So. If you're _dancing_ tomorrow night, and you're having a night off from each other tonight—"

"It's not like _that_ —"

"Then what else have you guys been up to all week, since I don't think you've returned even _one_ of my calls with anything more than a one-word text? Without the detail," Luke adds before Magnus can protest.

"Well," Magnus says with a reproachful look for Luke that does nothing but make him laugh. "Alec came to mine for dinner on Monday." 

"Is there _room_? With him being _tall_ and all?"

"Tuesday," Magnus says, keeping as composed as he can manage, "Alec was in meetings until late, and I had several orders I needed to complete. We had dinner at his on Wednesday, and last night we went for an impromptu walk along the river eating hot dogs along the way. We stopped at a comedy club, that, honestly, was awful. But, it gave us the excuse to stay out of the rain for an hour."

"See?" Luke laughs. " _This_ is why you never answer your phone. All these _romantic_ gestures."

"I _do_ answer my _—"_

"You're _happy_ ," Luke adds, waving away his protests. "That's all I'm concerned about. I've never seen you like this, Magnus. I _like_ it."

Magnus thinks about how comfortable things are with Alec, how easy it is to be with him, and most of all, how simple it is just being able to be himself.

"Yes," he agrees, raising his glass and tilting it towards Luke before drinking from it. "So do I."

* * *

It's Sunday morning, and it takes Magnus a little longer than usual to blink himself awake. His mouth is dry and his eyes a little sticky; Magnus drags himself from the bed and groans his way to the kitchen to drink large gulps of water until his thirst is parched. Once he's done he makes a visit to the bathroom, and by the time he's throwing himself back into bed the previous evening is coming back to him, his facing breaking out into a smile.

Reaching for his phone Magnus realizes it's not as late as he'd been imagining, so sinks back into the pillows opening the waiting message from Alec telling him he has a slight headache but that it was worth it.  
  
" _I had a great time too_ ," Magnus replies, his head filled with the images of dancing with Alec at a club called Pandemonium. Of the two of them singing along to songs one moment as the dancefloor filled, and then pressed hard up against Alec off to one side the next.  
  
" _Are you feeling okay_?" Alec's next message asks. Magnus gets comfortable, and holds the phone up over his head. He hesitates, the urge to look _good_ for Alec hitting him hard. It takes a few seconds of debating with himself before he takes a selfie, and another couple more so he has something to choose from before he hits send.  
  
" _Sleepy, but not too bad_ ," he says, stretching as he catalogs himself, thankful that he doesn't seem to have a bad head.  
  
" _You're cute when you're sleepy_ ," Alec replies immediately, and then there's a photo unpixelating that makes Magnus hold his breath.  
  
Alec is also still in bed, also shirtless, smiling at him blurry-eyed and already Magnus' favorite view of the morning.  
  
" _As are you_ ," he replies.  
  
Alec, Magnus was pleased to learn last night, loves dancing just as much as he does, only wanting them to stop for drinks. And the more they'd drank the more handsy they'd got; Magnus smiles at the memory of the two of them grinding together, his hands beneath Alec's shirt as Alec repeatedly squeezed at his ass.  
  
" _Are you going to Catarina's today_?" Alec asks, and Magnus groans at the thought of moving, rolling over to press his face in the pillow.  
  
" _Perhaps later,_ " he writes back. _"What time will Izzy arrive_?"  
  
" _Too soon. I should probably get out of bed. There isn't enough coffee in the world to deal with my parents today_."  
  
" _I hope they aren't too argumentative_ ," Magnus sympathizes, having listened to Alec talk about some of his parent's fights and wincing for it.  
  
" _Me too. My head isn't ready_."  
  
" _Are you very hungover_?"  
  
" _No. I just don't want to deal with it today is all. I'm still smiling too hard about last night_."  
  
" _Me too_ ," Magnus agrees smiling again and rolling back over for a long stretch, thinking of the day Alec has described with Izzy, their parents, and their extended family, and very happy he doesn't have to deal with such an ordeal himself today.  
  
_"Izzy's just messaged. She's on her way."_  
  
Magnus smiles, sure that he can hear Alec's groan through his message.  
  
" _I hope it's not too bad_."  
  
Magnus waits for Alec's final message then stretches again, debating how to fill his day. He spends a little time checking some overdue paperwork for his store and puts in an order for some ingredients he's running low on. He cleans the apartment, already wondering how he's going to get his few things in boxes and have space to keep them here for the next few weeks.  
  
Catarina calls Magnus to join her and Madzie for lunch, after which he spends a couple of hours with paint and glitter as Madzie decorates more of Catarina's dining room table than the paper she's supposed to be using. He drops by to see Raphael for a drink just as he's opening up since they haven't met up for a while, bravely facing his teasing about Alec, and gets back home around eight.  
  
Magnus takes a shower, banging his elbow on the shower door for the hundredth time, and promising himself a long soak in his spacious new bathtub the day he moves in to his new apartment. He loses himself to planning candles, bath oils, and the perfect wine and music to indulge in as soon as he can, even letting Alec join him in some of those thoughts before he gets himself too distracted, and has to push those ideas away. Magnus dresses in his favorite lounge pants and shirt, throwing himself down on the bed with a book, and checks for further messages from Alec.  
  
When there is a knock on the door downstairs Magnus freezes for a second, cursing himself for not putting on any makeup and not doing a single thing with his hair. But then he's sure that it's Alec, and letting Alec see him as he really is without any of that armor still holds an appeal for Magnus that he didn't know he wanted. He runs down the stairs, already smiling as he hits the lights for the store and unbolts the door.  
  
"Well, hello," he says, huffing with a burst of laughter as Alec wastes no time in wrapping him up in his arms.  
  
"Hi," Alec says, kissing his shoulder as he holds on to him dejectedly.  
  
"That bad?" Magnus asks softly, smoothing his hands down Alec's back.  
  
"Worse."  
  
"I'm sorry, Alec."  
  
"I'm so mad, I had to… if it was a work day I'd find someone to spar with, but... I needed to go for a run. Do _something_."  
  
Magnus pulls back just enough to take in what he's wearing, smoothing his hands down the front of his t-shirt. "Did you just get back?"  
  
"I did," Alec replies, squeezing him around the waist and pulling him closer. "I got home, got changed, and needed to get out again. But I wanted to see you first."  
  
Magnus smiles at that, stretching up against him and leaning in for a kiss that becomes urgent, leaving them breathless when they finally pull apart.  
  
"Can I see you tomorrow night?" Alec asks, one hand up and through Magnus' hair as the other splays over his lower back.  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Come to mine?" Alec adds, bending to mouth up his neck and pressing up against him a little firmer.  
  
"That sounds good. Want me to cook something?"  
  
"I'll figure something out," Alec tells him, ducking in for another kiss. He steps back then, holding on to Magnus' fingertips and squeezing.  
  
"Okay. Let me know when you are ready for me."  
  
Alec raises his hands to cup his face and kisses him again, dropping their foreheads together with a blasted out sigh. "I will. I'm sorry; I just needed to see you."  
  
"You never have to apologize for that," Magnus replies, patting his chest.  
  
Alec stares back at him for a few seconds before smiling again, wrapping him up tight in his arms for a final hug before stepping back outside and wishing Magnus goodnight. The idea that Alec _needed to see him_ does something to Magnus, settling an affectionate warmth in his heart as he locks up and returns upstairs.

* * *

Alec's apartment door is open a little when Magnus steps out of the elevator, and he's surprised when Alec isn't standing there waiting for him like he has been every time before. He hears laughter coming from inside as he approaches, jumping back when the door swings open, Alec poking his head around the doorway a second later with a welcoming smile already on his face.

"Hey," he says, leaning in to kiss him quickly and nodding behind him. "Steven's here."

"I… could have come later—"

"No," Alec says, crowding up against him for another kiss out in the hallway, grabbing both his hands. "He just came to give me a key. Come say hello."

Magnus smiles back at him, letting himself be tugged along and telling himself to neither be _too much_ , nor to be shy.

"You must be Magnus," says _Steven_ , getting immediately to his feet and offering out his hand to shake as he smiles.

"And you must be Steven," Magnus replies as he clasps his hand, quickly giving him the once over and deciding he seems _friendly_.

"I've heard a lot about you," Steven adds, with a teasing smirk sent in Alec's direction, that Alec snorts for and shrugs at, coming to stand by Magnus' side.

"Oh," Magnus says, all his other words getting jumbled together so he can't get anything of sense out.

"Good things. All _good_ things," Alec tells him, nudging against his arm.

"Obviously," Steven retorts, and there is a smile that passes between them that leaves Magnus begging with himself not to blush.

"You'll have to try that paste stuff Magnus makes that I told you about," Alec adds, gesturing at his shoulder. "It's amazing."

"I'll remember that."

"Do you do archery as well?" Magnus asks, stumbling for something to contribute to their conversation.

"Back in high school I tried a few times with Alec, but no," he says, shaking his head. "I pulled something in my shoulder at work about a year ago. It just aches sometimes is all."

"Then, by all means, I can make you something that will hopefully help with that," Magnus tells him, leaning back when Alec squeezes around his waist.

"That'd be great. Thanks."

"Of course."

"Alec tells me you're moving soon," Steven adds, which makes Magnus' stomach knot for thinking about how much Alec talks about him when he isn't around. Which obviously he does too, forever thinking and talking about Alec. And Alec has told him plenty of things about this friend stood before him as well. But currently his mind is blank, and right now Magnus can't think of a single thing Alec's told him about _Steven_.

"Yes. I hope so," Magnus replies, hoping his smile isn't too awkward.

"Well. If I'm around, and you need help moving stuff, then just tell Alec. I'll be there," Steven tells him.

"Oh. Thank you—"

"You will have to forgive the state of my apartment if you see it," Steven adds with an exasperated groan.

"Steven's going away for work for the week," Alec says in explanation, pulling a key from his back pocket to show Magnus. "I, or rather _you_ and I, if you want, are on cat-sitting duty."

"Oh. Of course," Magnus says, then is completely enamored when Steven pulls his phone from his pocket to show him a picture of his cat. 

"This is Roger. He is a very serious cat."

Magnus bursts out laughing at the cat staring back at him from the screen, who gives the impression he is a librarian peering disapprovingly over the rim of his glasses for somebody making too much noise. 

"He is adorable."

"And he knows it," Steven agrees as he smiles at the picture, "which is half the trouble."

"Most pampered cat _I've_ ever seen," Alec retorts under his breath earning himself a mock-glare.

"Well. I best be going," Steven says then as though he's just seen the time on his phone, reaching for the sports bag Magnus has just noticed is on the floor beside the chair he was sat in. "Thanks again for this."

"No problem," Alec replies offering up a mock salute.

"When I'm back though," Steven says as he hoists the bag over his shoulder, "maybe the three of us could go out for a drink?"

"I already told Magnus you'd try to shark him at pool," Alec retorts as they walk him to the door, "so you can't try that one on him."

"No pool," Steven says, holding his hands up in defense, "just drinks. Maybe snacks."

"No trail mix," Alec says, laughing as he opens the door for him. "Last time I went to a bar with Steven and there was trail mix on our table, we almost got into a fight—"

"We did _not_ —"

"Because _Steven_ thought a guy at the bar was harassing this girl, so started throwing trail mix at the back of his head to get his attention. When it turns out it was just a guy looking out for his underage _sister_ , trying to convince her to go home," Alec finishes for him, grinning in tease.

"No pool, no trail mix," Steven agrees with a mock-petulant tone that fails immediately because he's laughing. "We'll figure something out when I get back. It's good to finally meet you, Magnus."

"Likewise," Magnus replies, nodding back and turning to watch Alec show him out.

He hears a resounding, _parents, right?_ in the doorway, reminding him of Alec's demeanor when he'd called by The Lucky Cat on Sunday night. Though before he gets the chance to say anything Alec is walking back to him with this smile on his face that makes Magnus just _melt_. Alec raises his hands to cup his face and draws him into a kiss, that starts with a relieved sigh, and continues with him wrapping Magnus up in his arms.

"It's been a really long couple of days," Alec says when they pull apart, slipping his hands beneath Magnus' shirt as he holds him by the waist.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Not _all_ bad," Alec amends, kissing him again. "I could've done without _yesterday_ being what it was, but. Today's just been long because I had so much work to do."

"Then. I hope this evening we will do nothing but relax."

"That's my plan."

"Though you look a little _flushed_ ," Magnus adds, cupping Alec's cheek.

"I feel like I've been _running_ all day. I think I literally ran between two meetings today. Had lunch walking to another. I rushed home to meet Steven because he needs to be at the station to catch his train, and I was already late. Feels like I haven't stopped."

"Then, no wonder you wanted us to have a quiet evening," Magnus replies, as he allows himself to toy with the buttons of Alec's shirt.

"Exactly," Alec agrees, squeezing his waist and walking Magnus backward, holding him up as he kicks off his shoes then laughing when he stumbles as doing the same. Pulling Magnus on top of him as he lays out the length of the couch.

Magnus is already kissing him before he's settled between Alec's legs, hit by that sense of them _fitting_. Alec's hands resume their creeping beneath his shirt, and since he hasn't room to do the same Magnus is ducking, mouthing along his neck just above his collar before tracing out that tattoo on his neck again.

"I think I have lost _sleep_ thinking about this thing," he says, mouthing his words into Alec's neck.

 "Thinking what?" 

"All sorts of things," Magnus teases, leaning to claim his mouth again.

"What are you thinking about all the others?" Alec asks, glancing down at himself before looking up at Magnus with a teasing smile.

If there is uncertainty in his question Magnus doesn't hear it, though uses his words as an excuse to pluck at the top button of his shirt.

"I suppose that will depend on when I see them for myself. I only got a glimpse from that picture you sent me on Sunday morning. But I _might_ have been thinking about them ever since."

Alec arches beneath him in what Magnus thinks is invitation. "Well. I'm right _here_."

With a hard swallow, and not daring to snatch his eyes away, Magnus begins to unbutton Alec's shirt. He smooths his hands down his chest in greedy exploration the moment the last button is free, tracing his thumb over some of the tattoos before he has to kiss him again.

Alec beats him to it, surging to claim Magnus' mouth, and raising himself up so Magnus can slip his shirt from his shoulders, discarding it to the floor beside the couch. Magnus doesn't know where to touch first. He sits up and hoists Alec with him until he's straddling his lap, smiling as Alec instinctively wraps his arms around his shoulders and looks down at himself as though he's not sure how he moved. Then traces out all the tattoos he can see with his fingers, swallowing with difficulty for the heat he sees in Alec's expression that he knows he must be echoing back.

"I, uh… this one here," Alec says, snagging Magnus' fingers to shape them as he traces out one of the tattoos on his side, "Jace has the same. In fact, this one on my neck that you seem to like so much—"

"Oh," Magnus says, mouthing over it again, "I do."

"—Both Izzy and Jace have. Smaller ones. A little, anyway. We got them not long after Jace started talking about enlisting. And he and I share this one because… well. He's my _brother_. It's stupid, really, but. I guess I thought it was a way to let him know he was family or something."

"It was a beautiful gesture," Magnus tells him, continuing to walk his fingers over the tattoos on his chest in exploration, pretending he is doing little else than that when what he's concentrating on is the solidness of muscle beneath his fingertips, and the swathe of chest hair there.

"Yeah," Alec laughs, "only trouble is, Max was already pissed that Izzy, Jace, and I shared the same tattoo. When we got this second one, he had a tantrum like I've never seen because he wanted to get them too."

"Perhaps when he's older."

"Second he's old enough he has these grand plans about me going with him to a tattoo parlor. My parents were livid when he told them; still scowl at me about it today I think."

Magnus kisses him in sympathy, and it shuts off any other need for words. He sweeps his hands over Alec's back as he leans into him, closing his eyes when Alec adjusts in his lap for the way they're pressed together and how good that feels. Alec toys with the back of his hair, his other arm in a loose grip around his shoulders, and Magnus loses all track of time with the feel of him here in his arms, only distracted when there is a buzz that he assumes is Alec's intercom.

"I ordered dinner," Alec says, kissing him quickly in apology before holding on to Magnus' shoulders for support as he stands.

Magnus smiles, inspecting the tattoos on Alec's back from a distance as he walks towards the door. Imagining a soft bed beneath the two of them, and all the ways he intends to explore those tattoos when he has the chance.

* * *

"So. You feel like coming to feed a cat with me a couple times this week?" Alec asks after dinner when they are cleaning up together and still barely able to keep their hands to themselves.

Alec has already once hoisted him up on to a counter and wedged himself between Magnus' knees to kiss him, and Magnus has retaliated by crowding up behind him when Alec was putting away their plates, sweeping his hands over his chest and sides before stepping away again, though only after getting in a squeeze to his ass.

"Of course," Magnus says when they're finally returning to the couch. "How long will Steven be away for work? And… I'm sorry, Alec, you will have to remind me what he does."

"Security. He guards people, and buildings. Coordinates security for big events, meetings, stuff like that. And he said he'll be back at the weekend, so. You get to play with a real cat for the week if you want."

"You didn't want to bring him here? Roger, I mean?"

"Oh, no," Alec says, laughing, and groaning a kiss into his shoulder. "Roger keeps his own terms. He'll let you pet him, and feed him, and will even follow you from room to room when you're there. But he doesn't, uh, behave too well when taken to strange places, apparently. Roger was Steven's dad's cat, but apparently, his new _girlfriend_ is allergic, so. Soon as Steven moved back here, he took Roger in. Roger's apparently had enough upheaval in his life."

"Steven's parents are separated?" Magnus asks, kicking himself for it. He knows it's a leading question that will go back around to Alec's parents and thinks it will be obvious to Alec that it's what he's doing.

"Yeah," Alec agrees, seeming unconcerned, "they split back when we were still in high school. His _dad_ had been working his way through the half the neighbors, from the sound of it. Turns out Steven and I have even more in common than we thought."

"That must have been difficult," Magnus replies, deliberately not asking for Alec to clarify his words, though he can't help but hear the bitterness in his tone.

"It was," Alec agrees, "especially since Steven's mom didn't deal too well with it, and essentially left Steven to deal with his kid sister."

"Oh, yes, that must have been awful."

"It was," Alec says, his smile slipping a little for what Magnus assumes is remembering what happened to Steven's family.

Magnus tries to keep himself from asking, think only of the kisses Alec is pressing into his throat. But Alec had looked so forlorn on Sunday, that he feels like has to know what happened with Alec's own parents.

"So. What were your parents fighting about?" he asks as gentle as he can make his words.

"Oh, the usual," Alec says, scowling. "Anything and everything."

Magnus nods, thinking Alec doesn't want to talk about it.

"Which lately, has come to mean my mom finding out my dad's had yet _another_ affair," Alec adds, sighing and taking Magnus' hand, playing with his fingers against his lap. "She announced it in front of the whole family too. The whole restaurant we had lunch in went deadly silent to watch us _arguing_."

Magnus nods in sympathy, cold for the thought it. He hadn't wanted to show his displeasure at the idea of Alec's dad having an affair when he'd first shared it with him, not wanting to pass judgment on a situation he didn't know a thing about. But now there seem to be more of these affairs, he doesn't know how to respond at all. Nor does he enjoy the way his thoughts use Alec's revelation about his father to taunt him with reminders of Camille.

"I'm… sorry, Alec," he says, squeezing his hand in sympathy. Alec immediately wraps him up in a hug and sighs hard against his shoulder.

"I don't get it, Magnus." 

"What?"

"I don't… how did he do it? To Mom? _Why_ did he do it? If they didn't want to be together anymore, why not just end it? There's no excuse for… why did he think it was okay? Any of it?"

"Honestly? I have no idea."

"I couldn't even _begin_ to… I just don't get it," Alec says in increasing frustration, holding on to Magnus tightly.

"Alec—"

"Anyway," Alec says, shaking his head. "I don't wanna talk about my family."

"So. What _do_ you want to talk about?" Magnus asks, expecting Alec will just kiss him to signal a change of subject.

Alec does kiss him, but then he's pulling back, and to Magnus' surprise, looks troubled.

"Alec?"

"I… it's nothing, really," Alec says, darting his eyes elsewhere, clearly showing that this is a _something_.

"Then, what is _nothing_?"

Alec seems to curl in on himself, head dropped forward and his shoulders slumped. "It's probably silly."

"I don't care if it is."

"You'll… think I'm being dumb."

"I assure you, I will not."

"Magnus…"

Magnus nods in encouragement when Alec looks up, holding his hand and waiting for his words to find their way out. Then laughs as Alec pins him down and crawls to crouch over him.

"Are we dating? Boyfriends? Still getting to know each other?" Alec asks, in between kisses as he laces their fingers together and holds their hands level with Magnus' head against the couch cushions.

"Which would you prefer?" Magnus asks, rolling his neck to get more comfortable.

"Which one gets me more kisses?"

Alec's tone is a joking one, but there is doubt in his eyes that Magnus thinks he needs to rid him of immediately, not wanting to tease Alec at all if this is something that's playing on his mind.

And to be honest, Magnus thinks, kissing Alec because he doesn't like the worry that is on his face, it's something that he's been wondering about as well. The idea of _having_ a boyfriend, having someone that is only his, that he can share himself and his life with without all the complications and deceit he's known in the past, is enchanting to Magnus. As well as terrifying for the fear that he might mess things up.

"I think there is… I think it is good that we have spent so much time getting to know one another. And that we will continue to do so. It's important to me, Alec," Magnus adds, squeezing his hand, and arguing with himself against being so full of self-doubt.

"And to me."

Alec punctuates his reply with a longer kiss that Magnus closes his eyes for, concentrating only on the feel of Alec pressed tight against him.

"Though I suppose what we have been doing all this time while we have got to know each other, is _already_ dating," he adds when Alec pulls back. "So, if we're past that, then I think that makes us boyfriends. Which means you can have as many kisses as you want."

Alec's face lights up in delight that Magnus finds himself echoing. "We _have_ , haven't we?"

"We have," Magnus agrees, reaching up and running his thumb along his brow now that Alec's frown has gone.

"So we're… if anyone asks, or… if I talk about you—"

" _Do_ you talk about me when I am not with you?" Magnus asks, both teasing because he already knows the answer, and wanting to know.

"Apparently, all the time," Alec says with a hint of blush.

"Well," Magnus says, squeezing his sides, "when I next speak to Catarina, I will… tell her she was right?"

"Right?"

"Alexander," Magnus says, leaning in for another kiss. "To hear Catarina speak, you would think we had been together— _boyfriends_ —for _weeks_."

"Oh," Alec says, looking pleased with himself, which means Magnus has to lean up to kiss him again.

"Which means," Magnus adds, squeezing his sides once more, "that it won't be much longer before she insists on meeting you. And I will have run out of excuses to delay it."

"Catarina wants to give me a shovel talk?" Alec asks, pulling back and laughing.

"Well. I don't know about a _shovel_."

"We're calling Jace tomorrow," Alec says, smiling. "I'm… sure he'll have something along those lines to say as well."  

"Oh, really," Magnus replies, thoroughly amused by the thought of Alec's _brother_ having similar words for him that Catarina might want to say to Alec. Even if he's never met the man and barely knows a thing about him, aside from a few childhood memories and this shared tattoo.

"Yeah," Alec says, with a glint in his eye as he rolls towards him again, "but like I said. I don't really want to talk about my family right now."

"So? What _do_ you want to talk about?"

Alec shakes his head and kisses him, pressing Magnus firmly back into the couch. "Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"I kind of… I liked what you were doing earlier," Alec says, looking away the second Magnus catches his eye.

"And that was…?"

" _Magnus._ "

"It's important, I think, that we are both honest about the things we want with each other," Magnus says, even if a large part of wanting Alec to talk to him about _this_ is because of that beautiful blush raging across his cheeks.

Alec swallows hard but nods, sitting back up and gesturing for Magnus to follow. "You were… you were looking at my tattoos."

"I was," Magnus agrees, his eyes narrowing as he watches Alec tug uncertainly at the hem of his shirt.

Alec tenses then, yanking the t-shirt he threw on after dinner up and over his head, dropping it down beside the couch. He turns from Magnus, with a glance over his shoulder gesturing towards his own back. Magnus' throat dries out, his hands reaching out automatically to grip his waist, then leans in to kiss his shoulder and urges Alec to stand.

"What—"

Magnus wraps him up in a hug from behind, sweeping his hands repeatedly over Alec's chest. He presses a kiss between Alec's shoulder blades and smiles for the way his stomach is rippling, pulling back and studying so he can decide where to start first. Alec's head falls forward the moment Magnus begins tracing out a path with his fingertips, a sharp breath blasting out of him when Magnus ducks to follow with his mouth.

"You were right. They are everywhere," Magnus mouths into his skin, closing his eyes for Alec's breath quickening. Alec spins without warning, grabbing Magnus' face and dragging him in for a desperate kiss that almost leaves them toppling backward for the force of it.

"Sorry."

"Don't be," Magnus tells him, continuing to sweep his hands over his back. Though Alec has other ideas, apparently, for the nervous look he gives him, nudging Magnus away just enough so he has room to reach for his own jean button.

"Alexander, you don't have to—"

"I want to," Alec says, shaking his head and quickly unbuttoning his jeans. He keeps eye contact with Magnus as he unzips his fly; Magnus thinks he's doing it to stop himself feeling so nervous. When all it is really achieving is forcing Magnus to have self-control not to reach out and do it for him.

Alec steps out of his jeans and kicks them to the side, his hands to his midriff as he half-covers himself and tries not to show he is doing it. Magnus doesn't want him to be nervous at all, so closes the gap between them and wraps his arms low around Alec's waist, drawing him back into a kiss.

Magnus raises Alec's arms in turn to kiss over the tattoos there as well, then drops to his knees without warning, grabs his thigh for support, then ducks to smack a loud kiss over the one on his right calf. Alec laughs for it, his hands out to rest on Magnus' shoulders briefly before he grabs his hips and urges him to turn around. Magnus swirls his thumb along the length of the tattoo on the back of his thigh before kissing it, turning Alec again until he is facing him.

It's impossible for Magnus not to reach up and sweep his hands over Alec's stomach for the way it continues to ripple, squeezing around his waist in an attempt to calm. Alec smiles for it, hesitating before reaching out to play with his hair. Magnus turns his head just enough to get a kiss to his palm before he withdraws it, then turns his attention to the tattoo in front of him.

Magnus slides his hands down Alec's sides to grip around his thighs, leaning in and mouthing out the shape of the tattoo. He looks up as he does it, smiling for the way his actions seems to be stealing Alec's breath. There are a few seconds that pass with them just watching one another before Alec is groaning, pulling Magnus to his feet, and tackling him on to his back on the sofa again.

"I thought you wanted me to look," Magnus teases, though his own words are stolen when Alec slots between his thighs and begins to mouth at his neck. Alec pauses only to look at him, darting his tongue out to lick his lips, before he's leaning in to kiss him in claim.

"You have an early morning," Alec whispers a couple of hours later when their lips are kiss bruised. They're pressed tightly together next to the door of his apartment, the words mouthed into his neck as his fingers resume their journey up the back of Magnus' shirt.  
  
"I do," Magnus agrees, his hands sneaking between them, thumbs and fingertips swirling in the hair on Alec's chest.  
  
He could spend hours like this. In fact, they _have_ spent hours like this every moment they could get over this past week, as well as tonight. These kisses have been getting more heated, their hands wandering and exploring further, and the looks passing between them filled with so much want and need it's getting near impossible to pull away.  
  
They haven't said anything, made no suggestions for why they're waiting. And given the suggestion in so much of the flirting that led to them being together, there isn't really a good reason that they're holding back. Though Magnus _likes_ this strange territory of taking things slowly between them. Even if he has spent hours thinking about having Alec in his bed, or finding his way into _his_.  
  
"You need to sleep," Alec adds, but his hands are sweeping down his back again and cupping his ass, pulling him closer, clearly in no hurry for Magnus to leave at all.  
  
"As do you. You are the one that is training before work in the morning."  
  
"Only so I get to leave work on time so I can see _you_ again tomorrow night," Alec points out, which leaves Magnus smiling, and nosing Alec's jaw so he can get to the tattoo on his neck.  
  
"I don't want you tiring yourself out for me."  
  
"Oh, really," Alec says, pulling back to stare at him with a look of such intent Magnus swallows for seeing it and is slotting his fingers through the back of Alec's hair to claim his mouth all over again.  
  
"Well, not in any ways that aren't… entertaining," he says when they pull apart.  
  
"I can think of a few things," Alec says, backing him up against the wall.  
  
"Such as?" Magnus teases, humming for the way Alec ducks suddenly to mouth over his throat again.  
  
"You know."  
  
"Perhaps," Magnus agrees, slotting his fingers through the back of his hair. "But still, it might be good to hear it."  
  
Alec lifts his head and blinks looking startled, Magnus' eyes drawn first to his swollen lips and then to his still half-unbuttoned shirt. "I—"  
  
"I'm joking," Magnus says with a soft laugh, leaning in for a softer kiss.  
  
"I know. But it's… it's not like I've not been thinking about it."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"Being with you."  
  
Magnus swallows hard again, slipping his hands out from beneath Alec's shirt and lacing their hands together. "As have I."  
  
"And we… I mean. You want that with me?" Alec asks, and for the first time in weeks, he looks truly shy.  
  
"Of course," Magnus says, angling up for another kiss that is slow, and languid, and that he doesn't pull back from until that slight tension he's picked up in Alec's grip has dropped. "Of course I do."  
  
"It's just… I mean. We've not done all that—"  
  
"This is nothing to do with anything but a lack of time," Magnus tells him. In all their not talking about this there has been plenty left unspoken between them. Alec reaches for him sometimes with an air of hesitancy and a flash in his eyes that says he's not sure what he's doing. Magnus likes that they aren't rushing anything between them, but it's obviously something playing on Alec's mind.  
  
"I guess."  
  
"Alexander," Magnus says, wrapping his fingers around his waist and squeezing, "there is no hurry. To be honest, I am enjoying how… everything is good between us. And you are important to me. There is no need for us to rush. But that doesn't mean I don't _want_ you. Because I do."  
  
"Yeah?" Alec asks, smiling and glancing him over, thoroughly studying Magnus' face so he doesn't dare move.  
  
" _Yes_ ," Magnus insists. "There are times when I can think of little else."

"Me too," Alec says, a click in his throat as he swallows. "Sometimes I can't… I can't _sleep_ for thinking about it."

Magnus' stomach drops for what he thinks Alec might be implying, imagining Alec writhing on his bed into his own hand. He has to kiss him, the images taunting him and almost making Magnus want to run home for what he now needs to do to himself.

"Well. That gives me something to think about."

"I hope so," Alec replies, his face a mixture of embarrassment and pride that Magnus has to kiss from him once again.

"If you think, after tonight, when I got to taste every last one of these tattoos," Magnus says, ducking to mouth over one on his chest taking advantage of his half-unbuttoned shirt, "that the first thing I won't be doing when I get home is getting some… _relief_ , then I have no idea what you thought has been digging into your thigh for most of this evening."

Alec splutters with laughter, his face now a mixture of embarrassment and arousal, and though he hesitates before doing it takes a deliberate look down at Magnus' pants. There is no way for Magnus to hide just how hard he is with the pants he is wearing. He's glad it's late, though even debates taking his jacket off to hold strategically on the way home.

"I don't think you'll make it home before I'm doing the same," Alec blurts out, wide eyed with surprise at himself before his cheeks flare another shade pinker.

"Well, that isn't helping," Magnus retorts, crowding up against him for another kiss, groaning when Alec presses back, and feels just as hard as him.

"You could argue that it's actually helping a _lot_."

"You are a menace," Magnus tells him, and once again they get lost in their kisses, only stopping when they need to take a breath.

"So we'll… we're doing okay?" Alec asks hopefully when he leans back to look at him.  
  
"Does it feel like we're doing okay?" Magnus counters, smiling as Alec sags back against him.  
  
"It does."  
  
"Then, we are doing okay."  
  
"I don't wanna… that I don't know what I'm doing—"  
  
"You _do_ know what you're doing," Magnus argues, "we are just… learning to be together."  
  
"And that I… because I don't have all that much… _experience_ with this, I… that's okay with you?" Alec asks, now looking nervous, which Magnus doesn't want him to feel at all.  
  
"I am enjoying everything we are sharing together," Magnus tells him, squeezing his sides in reassurance. "It's good to… Alec, I'm enjoying the way we are together. There is no… everything between us is _good_."  
  
Magnus wants to say more. About how relaxed he is with Alec as he's sure he hasn't been with anyone else. About how he trusts Alec as though he's known him for far longer than he has. But he doesn't, just leans in for another kiss and sighs his way into it, wrapping his arms around Alec's waist when they shift enough for him to push away from the wall and holding on tight.  
  
"I'll see you tomorrow," he whispers, stealing a further kiss even when Alec's finally got the door open.  
  
"See you tomorrow," Alec echoes, reaching out to squeeze his hand even as he's walking away.  
  
Magnus smiles, playing with his lips that still tingle from all of Alec's kisses for the entire walk home.

* * *

 


	11. Chapter 11

"Hey."

Magnus looks up from the counter to see Alec coming towards him, and is torn between smiling in welcome and sagging with guilt. "Hello, Alec."

"Oh," Alec says, his eyes flaring a little as he comes to a stop at the counter with his hands resting over the edge of it, instead of coming straight behind like he has been doing for weeks. "What happened?"

"I'm afraid I will have to postpone our plans for this evening," Magnus says, toying with his phone as he says it and half-avoiding Alec's eyes. It's silly, really, to feel this bad about having to cancel on him when it's for such a good reason. Yet knowing how much he's feared Alec doing the same to him for all this time, for the month they have now been together and even before that, Magnus feels awful.

"Are you okay?"

Magnus closes his eyes, thinking the concern on Alec's face is the very worst thing he could look at right now.

" _I'm_ fine. Though just a few minutes ago—otherwise I would have called you already—"

" _Magnus_ ," Alec says, laughing softly, waving away his concern.

"—Catarina called me asking that I go over. Madzie is sick. And although Catarina is more than qualified to deal with any ailments she might have, she says she is at the end of her tether and could do with some… assistance."

"In other words," Alec says, leaning on the counter and smiling, "one of your closest friends has a sick kid, and they know your remedies are the only thing that will help."

"Alec, it's—"

"Magnus," Alec says, coming around the counter to cup his face, leaning in for a kiss, "it's okay. Really. And your stuff is amazing; you know it is."

"I do _not_."

"You _do_ ," Alec insists, kissing him again. "What's up with Madzie?"

"Oh. Just about everything from the sounds of things," Magnus replies, sighing. "Sore throat, fever, sneezing, restlessness."

"Then. Why are you still _here_?" Alec asks, waving to mean The Lucky Cat.

"Because I need to prepare a few things in advance, and I still have my store to run. Also, there is a customer that usually comes in around this time and I wouldn't want them to miss picking up what they need."

"So," Alec says, shrugging out of his jacket to drape over the back of Magnus' chair and rolling up his sleeves. "Tell me what _you_ need."

"Alec—"

"I'm serious. And if you want—if you think Catarina would be okay with it, obviously—I can come with you."

"To… with Madzie?" Magnus asks, the idea not having even occurred to him, and now he's wondering why it hasn't.

"Sure," Alec says with an easy shrug. "I still haven't met Catarina and Madzie, and if I come with you, I can make sure you _eat_."

Magnus smiles at that, thoroughly enchanted that Alec spends so much of his time thinking of him, and has been so insistent that he bring him food these past few nights when he's been so busy working.

"Besides," Alec says, draping his arms around Magnus' shoulders from behind and kissing the side of his head. "How else am I gonna see you right now when you're working so hard?"

"I just have a lot of orders that—"

"I'm not complaining," Alec says, dropping a harder kiss into his neck that makes Magnus shiver. "You get it when I have a ton of work on too. I just… let me come with you. Help, if I can."

"Are you sure?" Magnus asks, reaching up to squeeze his hands around Alec's forearms and lean back against him.

"Positive. Now," Alec says with a sense of finality in his tone, "tell me what you need."

They've been together really no time at all, and yet the ease with which they've made a routine between them makes Magnus feel their relationship has been one that has been ongoing for months. The way Alec shows up uninvited just to kiss him, or Magnus makes himself at home in Alec's apartment, is something Magnus finds himself thinking of and smiling about when he's alone sometimes.

The way they reach for each other and their hands slot together whenever they are out somewhere is just confirmation to Magnus about how well they _fit_. It isn't anything magical, really, but to Magnus right now everything surrounding what he shares with Alec is _special_ , things he hasn't truly ever experienced this easily with anyone else.

" _Magnus_ ," Alec says pulling his thoughts back as he laughs, and pressing a firmer kiss to the back of his head.

"Sorry," he replies, clearing his throat and leaning back to look at him, before reeling off a list of ingredients that he needs.

* * *

"Don't be nervous," Magnus teases as he squeezes Alec's hand outside Catarina's apartment, earning himself an amused smile. Thought it's _him_ that is nervous, desperate for Catarina and Alec to like one another, or at the very least be civil if they don't get along.

It isn't that Catarina never approves of the people he's been with, but more that what happened with Camille was the last straw. It doesn't matter that he hasn't had a relationship since her; Catarina's protective streak comes out if Magnus so much as mentions he finds someone attractive. She has been asking questions about _Alec_ since the first time he even mentioned him coming in the store.

Magnus' fears are forgotten momentarily though when Catarina swings open the door looking more exhausted than he thinks he's ever seen her. She has a tired smile for him, reaches out to grip Alec's hand in greeting, then ushers them in, taking them straight through to Madzie's bedroom.

"Oh, Sweetpea," Magnus says as he listens to her coughing, dropping to his knees by the side of the bed.

"I've tried every single thing I can get from the pharmacy," Catarina says with a sigh. "If you can just give her something to help her sleep a little, maybe it'll ease everything else."

"She's beautiful," Magnus hears Alec say as he peels back Madzie's comforter to listen to her chest.

"Even when she's flushed with fever and full of snot. Yeah, she is," Catarina agrees, making Magnus smile.

"Do you have any orange juice?" he asks, turning on his knees and starting to search through the cloth bag he's filled with everything he can think of that might help. "And a spoon."

"Coming right up."

"Can I do anything?" Alec asks, crouching down beside him as Magnus empties the bag.

"I'll let you know. Thank you."

"What is all this stuff?"

"Magic," Magnus whispers with a wink, happy to see Alec smile for it.

"Okay. I didn't know how much you wanted," Catarina says, waving a carton of juice in one hand and a glass with a spoon in the other.

"Okay. First, Madzie, my darling, can you sit up a little for me?" Magnus says, setting the glass down on the floor and helping her sit up.

"Hey, Madzie," Alec says softly and waving, which distracts Magnus completely. Madzie gives a small smile back, and from the look on Alec's face he's already enchanted.

"Okay, Madzie," Magnus says, spooning some slippery elm powder into the glass then adding the orange juice and giving it a vigorous stir. "Something a little disgusting first, followed by something sweet."

Madzie is too tired to object. Her cough is a sharp bark, her nose red raw, and the tissues on her nightstand evidence of just how badly it's been running. She drinks as guided, bravely not grimacing at all as she finishes it, though coughs again and closes her eyes like she might fall asleep sitting up.

"Okay. Now a little of this," Magnus says, shaking a little turmeric into the glass, glad he brought the squeezable bottle of honey he has so he can mix them up.

"What's that for?" Alec asks as he watches.

"Sore throat and cough relief."

"And that powder stuff. Is it… it tastes bad?"

"It is an… acquired taste. Some people like to give the honey first, but I always think it is better to mask the taste."

Madzie doesn't seem to care either way, dutifully opening her mouth for the spoon when Magnus gestures for her to.

"You're doing great, kiddo," Catarina says as she perches on the side of the bed, taking Madzie's hand when she holds it out.

"Okay. I think some diluted apple cider vinegar for her fever, and that will be the best I can do," Magnus says, uncapping the large bottle he's brought with him and dampening the two washcloths he has. "Catarina, if you can put this one on her tummy in a moment."

Magnus takes a small cloth pouch from his bag and slots it into Madzie's pillow cover before encouraging her to lay back.

"What's that?" Alec asks, inquisitive as ever.

"A sleep sachet," he replies as he gently presses the other washcloth over her forehead and gestures for Catarina to do the same to her stomach. "It's a mixture of loose hops, chamomile flowers, lavender flowers, lemon balm, and rosebuds. All we have to do now is hope that Madzie doesn't wriggle too much to make these cloths fall off."

"I could… if you wanted, I could read to her, until she falls asleep?" Alec offers with an uncertain smile for Catarina, who leans forward to squeeze Madzie's hand again before standing.

"She'd love that. She's working through Dr. Seuss," Catarina replies, nodding to the book on the nightstand for Alec to pick up.

Now it's Magnus' turn to be enchanted. He tidies up after himself listening to Alec begin to read, watching him from the doorway until Catarina tugs him out.

"Where did you find _him_?" she demands as she tugs him through to the kitchen, rinsing through the glass he's been using and gesturing to a bottle of scotch on a shelf behind him.

"I told you. In my store."

"Huh," Catarina says as she pours three generous measures, leaning back against the counter to stare at him with a teasing smile.

"Be nice."

"I'm always nice."

"You're… always nice to _me_ ," Magnus settles for saying when she raises an eyebrow at him, then turns and leads him through to the couch. He watches her sink down in relief and let her head fall back with a groan, and wants to do more for his friend.

They spend a few minutes catching each other up on their news, both looking up when Alec comes through to join them and sits down next to Magnus, offering a small nod in thanks as he offers him his glass.

"She's already asleep," he says, smiling. "Only took her a few minutes. I stayed to make sure she was okay."

"She's barely made it an hour so far," Catarina replies, groaning. "Thank you both."

"I hope it helps," Magnus says, smiling when Alec squeezes his hand.

"So. _Alec_ ," Catarina says as she sits up a little, and it makes Magnus' stomach give a nervous flip.

"Yeah."

"I am way too tired to interrogate you, which I'm sure Magnus is thrilled about."

"You can ask me anything you want," Alec says, smiling easily and keeping a firm grip on Magnus' hand when he goes to protest.

Catarina hums to herself, deliberately sweeping her gaze down over their joined hands before looking back up at him with a shrug. "How do you feel about Chinese food?"

"Like I could eat the entire menu from Jade Wolf right about now?"

Catarina turns to look at Magnus with glee in her eyes. "Well, it just so happens that it's our favorite place as well."

"Magnus has been _too busy to eat_ for most of the week," Alec adds in accusation, and the look that passes between him and Catarina makes Magnus squirm.

"Alexander. How can I have been _too busy to eat_ when you have brought and made me dinner every night that I have been working?"

"My point is, you wouldn't have, if I hadn't," Alec retorts. Magnus pretends not to hear the amused huff of laughter from Catarina that follows it.

"Well. I say we order in. Catch up," she says, already getting to her feet. Magnus knows from habit she's going to the kitchen to take the menu down from beneath a fridge magnet, and uses the seconds it takes her to lean in and steal a kiss from Alec.

"You doing okay?" he whispers, echoing Alec's smile.

"Great," Alec whispers back snatching another kiss before Magnus moves away.

"Well. I don't know about the whole menu, but I could sure eat my fill," Catarina says as she walks back in, studying the menu as though they haven't ordered from it a hundred times before.

Once they've placed the order for delivery Alec excuses himself to use the bathroom, and Magnus almost wants him not to for whatever Catarina is going to say when he is out of earshot.

"I like this one," she says when they hear the bathroom door close and lock. "You can keep him—for now."

" _Catarina_ —"

"Don't _Catarina_ me," she retorts, topping up their glasses. "I haven't seen you smiling this hard in literal years. I like it. I don't wanna see it fade."

Magnus opens his mouth to answer but thinks better of it, instead silently raises his glass in toast, and tries to change the subject.

* * *

"You think maybe you wanna stay at mine on Saturday night?" Alec asks when they come to a stop outside The Lucky Cat several hours later when Alec walks Magnus home from Catarina's, both of them yawning because of their long days.

Magnus takes in the halting tone of Alec's voice and the uncertain way he's holding himself, and is sure he's been planning on asking this all night. Longer, perhaps. "Alec—"

"We're busy on Friday," Alec adds, still looking nervous, "but we said we'd stay in Saturday and just—"

"That… would be good."

"Yeah?" Alec says as though he's been expecting a completely different answer, and Magnus only has himself really to blame for it.

It's true that they have spent so much of the past month in each other's company, but that has always come to an end in the doorways of either his store or Alec's apartment at the end of the night. Even with that _need_ he feels for Alec so clearly reciprocated, and for the way they can barely keep their hands from one another the second they are alone.

The idea of falling asleep with Alec—and plenty more things besides—has crossed Magnus' mind he's sure a hundred times over. Yet it always feels like he is the one to hold back on inviting Alec to stay, not taking Alec's heavy hints to stay at his, and generally avoiding a discussion about it—apparently, until now.

"I would like that," he says, smiling as he squeezes Alec's waist.

"You're… you're sure?"

"I am."

"It's just… so many times I've thought maybe we would just… stay over, or something, and we… I thought maybe you didn't want to."

"Alec," Magnus says, reaching up to squeeze over his upper arms, "I told you that I was happy we were taking time over this."

Taking their time is _right_ , Magnus thinks, now half-cursing himself for his hesitance. It _is_ always him that stops the two of them from getting too carried away, and always him that turns their exploration of one another into hugs when he feels like they are going too far.

"No, I know," Alec says, quickly ducking to kiss him. "I just—"

"I have been hesitant, only because of myself, my—because, I suppose, I am still a little… cautious, about letting anyone get too close."

"And I understand that," Alec says, wrapping his arms low around Magnus' waist and pulling him closer. "We don't have to do anything other than fall asleep together, if you don't want."

"Alexander," Magnus says, hearing his voice blast out with the exasperation he feels for himself, "it is not a question of me not _wanting_. I think we already established that I want you, very much."

Alec grins at him, his thoughts possibly going to the same place as Magnus' have. Of them rutting and writhing together just a few feet away from where they are upstairs, and Magnus snatching himself away from Alec when he'd got carried away. His kisses over his naked chest moving to cover the length of Alec through his pants, only able to stop himself from reaching for his fly by rolling away from Alec to sit on the side of the bed with his back to him. And then filled with guilt for _Alec_ thinking he'd done something wrong.

"Then, what is it about?" Alec asks, tilting his head as he stares back at him.

It isn't about Alec seeing him first thing in the morning. Nor is it really about giving in to how much he _wants_ Alec. It's a combination of everything, of allowing himself to have what he really wants, which is to be with Alec in every way that he can. And still being fearful that he'll somehow mess everything up.

"I don't know," Magnus says, looking away, and it's the most dishonest thing he's ever said to Alec.

"Magnus," Alec whispers before pressing a kiss to his cheek, "I'm not _her_. I'm not anyone who's ever made you feel like—I am _never_ gonna make you feel like you're not good enough, or that you're not worth the effort, or something. _Never_."

They have talked about Camille, and other people in Magnus' life who he's allowed to contribute to this feeling of being _lacking_ that he sometimes feels. Alec is nothing but patient, holding him close until he finds a way to talk about it, and nothing but loving and affectionate with him after he has.

"I know," Magnus replies, and he _does_ know. There is something about Alec that is so different, something kinder, and far more understanding than he would ever have expected; least of all from someone who lacks as much experience in relationships as Alec does. In fact, at times it sometimes feels to Magnus that _he_ is the one that has never been in a relationship before. For how easy everything seems to be for Alec, and that _he_ is the one that hesitates so much of the time.

"Then. I want you to stay at mine on Saturday night," Alec says, his eyes full of intent even if he's trying to give Magnus an out if that's not what he wants. "Even if we just fall asleep together."

"Alexander," Magnus says, laughing, "if you honestly think I could fall asleep on a bed beside you and keep my hands to myself, you clearly have far more faith in my restraint than it deserves."

Alec laughs, but leans in to kiss him, slow and leisurely, and laced with heat. "Then we'll just… see what happens. Okay?"

Magnus smiles, ignoring the way his heart is fluttering and his stomach is dropping, with both excitement and fear. "Of course."

"And before then," Alec adds, smiling as he kisses him again, even though his voice tails off into a groan, "we have to endure a whole evening with _Izzy_."

"That is no way to talk about your sister," Magnus reproaches, laughing, even if he might be apprehensive at the thought.

"I _love_ my sister," Alec says, sagging against him. "I'm _not_ loving how much fun she's having teasing me like she does about this."

"Us?"

"Yeah," Alec snorts, rolling his eyes. "Magnus. I can't—you should hear her when we call Jace together. It's like we're all fifteen again and talking about first crushes, or something."

"Oh," Magnus replies, thinking perhaps Alec's siblings are just enjoying the chance to tease him now, when there hasn't been any real opportunity to do in the past.

"Anyway," Alec says with another kiss. "I guess it's only fair."

"What is?"

"I got to meet Catarina and Madzie tonight," Alec says with a sweet smile that says he's _liked_ meeting them both. "It's only fair you have to deal with one of—with someone _I_ know."

"I don't know about that," Magnus smiles, leaning against him. "Did we not already have drinks with Steven a couple of weeks back?"

"We—"

"And spend time in the company of his cat?" Magnus adds.

"Roger _knows_ you're a cat person," Alec mumbles, and Magnus' thoughts turn to Roger insistently curling up on his lap in Steven's apartment when Alec was trying to convince him to eat.

"He does."

"And anyway," Alec adds, pressing a kiss to his shoulder, "you made me play _poker_ last week with Luke and _Raphael_."

Magnus doesn't mean to groan, is glad that Alec has now had the chance to meet most of his closest friends. Though he should have known that Alec taking Simon's place at poker would also mean he'd be on the receiving end of Raphael's prickliness usually reserved for Simon as well.

"Well. The next time you see each other—"

"I'll drink more first."

"He wasn't that—"

"Magnus," Alec says, laughing as nuzzles against his cheek, "he's your friend. He doesn't need to like _me_."

"I'm unconvinced Raphael truly likes anybody at times," Magnus says, acknowledging what he won't in front of Luke, that Raphael is surly with almost everyone but _him_.

Alec hums in response, raising his hands to cup his cheeks and kissing him, leaving them with no need to talk.

"Thank you for walking me home," Magnus says, squeezing his hands when they pull apart.

"Pretty soon, I'll be walking you home somewhere else."

Magnus thinks of his new apartment, the furniture on order, and the tentative date for when he should be moving in. Then thinks of spending the night with Alec on Saturday, and can concentrate on little else.

"Soon," he says, tilting his chin for another kiss and leaning against Alec's chest.

Alec hums in response, kisses him for a final time before wrapping him in his arms and pressing his nose into his neck, before pulling away with a smile. "See you soon, Magnus."

* * *

"I'm sorry I'm late."

Izzy rushes into the restaurant coming to a stop beside their table looking like something from a magazine. Her hair is glossy as it bounces against her shoulders, and her perfume something exotic Magnus can't help trying to place. But it's the smile on her face and the laughter in the corners of her eyes that has most of Magnus' attention, sure this is going to be an interesting night.

"Nothing serious?" Alec says as he hugs her in greeting, helping Izzy take off her coat.

"Nothing you would want to hear about," Izzy replies with a sigh as she turns to Magnus and extends her arms. "Magnus. It's good to finally get to spend some time with you."

"Izzy came straight from work," Alec adds as Magnus hugs her back and catches his eye over her shoulder.

"I hope it wasn't anything too awful," Magnus says, not knowing what else to.

"Oh. It was," Izzy says with a smile, then smiling harder still when Magnus pulls out a chair for her to be seated.

"Maybe not something we should talk about over dinner," Alec says as he moves back around the table.

"Like I said. Nothing you _want_ to hear about."

"I can only imagine," Magnus replies, pouring Izzy a glass of wine and earning himself a scowl from the approaching waiter who rushes to their side to do it.

"Are you… ready to order?" he says, not taking his eyes off Izzy.

"I need a few minutes," she replies, beaming up at him. Magnus is sure he hears a nervous whistle in the waiter's throat as he spins away.

"So—"

"Mom called me," Izzy says, cutting Alec off. Magnus watches a look pass between them and debates making excuses to leave them to talk.

"Yeah?"

"I'm getting tired of all the secrecy," she adds, sighing and slumping back in her chair before she sits forward again to pick up her menu, looking as though she wants to focus on other things.

Magnus makes eye contact with Alec wondering if he should say or do anything, but only catches his reassuring smile.

"Mom says she keeps finding files and files of stuff in their office that she's had no dealings with, or no idea where they came from," Alec explains. "Seems like Dad's been going behind her back on a lot of things."

"Today she found a laptop that they have a receipt for, for the business. But every file on it is password protected," Izzy adds, causing the fork Alec is playing with against the table to clatter against his plate.

"Seriously?"

"Mom says Dad refused to talk to her about it when she asked him earlier. Kept changing the subject, and eventually walked out."

"What… kind of law do they normally deal with?" Magnus asks, unsure if he's supposed to contribute to this conversation but feeling awkward if he doesn't.

"Mostly corporate law," Alec replies. "Though, with all these _files_ Mom keeps finding, and now this laptop. I have to think maybe he's been dealing with all kinds of other stuff."

"Like what?" Izzy asks, her tone defensive, and a quick look passing between Izzy and Alec that makes Magnus not want to get involved.

"I don't know," Alec replies, frowning to himself as he toys absently with the stem of his wine glass.

"Well," Izzy says, smiling suddenly at Magnus. "I'm sure Magnus doesn't want to hear about the Lightwood family drama."

"Oh. I—"

"And I'm far more interested in hearing all about _you_ ," Izzy adds, leaving Magnus not knowing where to look.

"Well—"

"Maybe we should _order_ before you start interrogating anybody," Alec suggests, glaring back at Izzy until she laughs.

"I never said anything about _interrogating._ "

"Yeah, well. Make sure you _don't._ "

"Magnus," Izzy says, her eyes crinkling with laughter, and even more so when they both hear Alec's exasperated huff. "Alec tells me you should be moving into your new apartment soon."

"Yes," Magnus replies, "hopefully in a couple of weeks."

"And something about _cocktails_?"

"I… will be having a housewarming at some point when I'm settled in," he says, with a quick glance at Alec. "To which, of course, you are invited."

Their conversation then quickly turns to dinner, since their waiter comes to loiter beside them again looking less than pleased for being made to wait. Izzy regales them with some of the less gory details of her work as a pathologist once he's gone, and Magnus comes back with his own stories to share of clients of his with conditions too disgusting to talk about so close to food.

"I thought we weren't gonna talk about this kind of stuff," Alec says, looking green when Magnus turns to him.

"You're such a—"

"I forgot. I'm sorry," Magnus says at the same time, reaching out to squeeze his leg in apology for belatedly remembering how quick Alec's stomach turns.

Izzy looks between them, and Magnus recognizes the look for one about to be accompanied by a resounding, _aww_. A scowl from Alec stops her though, leaving Izzy smiling behind her glass. But then she's sitting up straighter and smiling across the table again at Magnus, and he isn't sure where to look.

"Magnus. I was looking at your website again just yesterday. You didn't tell me about some of your clients."

"Uh—"

Magnus' reply is cut off by Izzy reeling off a long list of some of Magnus' more famous clients, and he can feel the confusion beside him in Alec, snorting with laughter for every time he interrupts her with a, _who?_

"These are important people, Alec," Izzy tells him.

"Important? Why? How are they important?"

"Because."

"Because their faces are always on TV? Because one of them _liked_ a Twitter you sent them or something?"

" _Tweet_ ," Magnus corrects automatically, earning himself a mock-wounded pout.

"Because _Magnus_ has been holding out on us," Izzy laughs. "Your store is beautiful, but you're… Magnus. You've made quite the name for yourself."

"Maybe, he's just modest," Alec retorts, squeezing Magnus' hand though still looking at him with pride.

"Just like somebody else I know," Magnus replies, smirking back at him and absolutely not preening under his praise. "Isabelle. It wasn't until my friend _Luke_ pointed out the status of Alec's position at the university, and the importance of the university in general, that I had any inkling my _boyfriend_ was such an important man."

"You—"

"Important to other people, besides me," Magnus adds, feeling victorious for it now being Alec's turn to blush.

Izzy's smiling at them with _that_ grin again, and Magnus ducks his head to avoid it, though looks up again for Alec indignantly clearing his throat.

They are saved from any further teasing by the arrival of their food, though Izzy is smiling once more when Alec spears the pickle that is on his plate and drops in on to Magnus' without hesitating.

Their conversation turns to Magnus' apartment, the city, how Max is doing at school, and by the end of the evening, Magnus is comfortable in Izzy's company, the few nerves he'd felt earlier disappearing almost as soon as she had walked in. Alec even accuses them of trying to embarrass him, when they talk endlessly about the archery competition he won just last weekend.

"You'll have to go with him next time," Izzy says as the three of them dig in to a shared dessert, humming around a mouthful of chocolate mumbling about how good it tastes.

"I mean. You _could_. Obviously," Alec says with a smirk on his face and a glint in his eye that means teasing. "You'd distract the hell out of me though."

Magnus has difficulty swallowing the sticky chocolate caramel mouthful he has, ignoring Izzy's snort of laughter, and squeezing Alec's hand back as he offers it beneath the table.

"Can I stay at yours?" Izzy says in exasperation as they leave the restaurant and she pulls out her phone to read her messages. "They're fighting. _Again_."

"When are our parents _not_ fighting?" Alec replies as he takes Magnus' hand, pointing in a direction for them to take. "And of course you can."

"I don't wanna interrupt anything," Izzy adds darting a guilty look between the two of them, that makes Magnus swallow with difficulty for remembering tomorrow night.

"I have an early courier delivery to arrange," Magnus replies, waving away her concern with his free hand.

"Simon?" Izzy asks with a huge smile.

"Isn't Simon an accountancy student?" Alec says sounding thoroughly unimpressed. "As in, a little _young_ for you?"

"He's a mature student," Izzy retorts, coming to walk by Magnus' side and peering around him to pretend to glare at Alec.

"I'm glad he doesn't go to _my_ university."

"Oh. So it's _yours_ now. When you didn't even tell your _boyfriend_ about your important job."

"Magnus knew enough."

"But still—"

" _Izzy."_

Magnus squeezes Alec's hand and fights how hard he is smiling as the two of them continue to bicker on the way back to the store.

"Come over. Whenever you're ready," Alec says softly when they come to a stop outside The Lucky Cat, with Alec gripping Magnus' waist and turning to him, unconcerned that Izzy is standing right there with them.

"I will," Magnus replies, only hesitating a little when he reaches up to squeeze Alec's arms.

"See you tomorrow," Alec says, before kissing him goodbye, with no hint of embarrassment or awkwardness, which sets Magnus' heart racing for the ease of it.

"I hope to see again you soon, Magnus," Izzy adds as they part, beaming at the two of them.

Alec raises an eyebrow and glares at Izzy, and Magnus has no doubt about what they'll be discussing on the way home.

"Izzy. It was lovely to see you again."

"I'll wait 'till you're in," Alec says, nodding at the door as he always does, then waving through the glass as Magnus locks up. 

* * *

 


	12. Chapter 12

It is a stupid thing to be thinking, but as Magnus steps through the door of Alec's apartment after he's kissed him in greeting, he's sure the very air is charged. And though Alec slips the bag he's packed for staying over from his shoulder without saying a single word, even that gesture is putting Magnus' stomach in knots.

"Did you get everything you needed to get done today?" Alec asks over his shoulder, with Magnus following him awkwardly to the bedroom and watching from the doorway as he drops the bag on the end of the bed.

He didn't mean to follow, but the thought of standing idle in Alec's living room when he's feeling like _this_ leaves Magnus ill at ease, needing constant company even if the company he's seeking is the very same that's putting him on edge.

"I did. All of my orders are now filled barring being put in jars and packaging. Which, I will do on Monday."

"So. I have you all to myself tomorrow as well?" Alec asks as he comes back to the doorway, sweeping his hands up Magnus' chest and leaning until they're pressed together.

"You do," Magnus tells him, his stomach giving a nervous jolt again.

"Good," Alec says before kissing him, taking his time to explore his mouth, and even that feeling far more loaded than it ever has done before.

Magnus drops his head back against the door frame when Alec ducks to trail kisses down his neck, resting his hands in a light grip around his arms. "How about you? Did you do everything you wanted to today?"

"Nope," Alec replies, pressing a smile into his throat before he straightens up again, pulling Magnus away from the door. "I, uh… I trained this morning. Called Max at lunch. And just… tried to get everything ready here."

"Ready?" Magnus asks, taking Alec's offered hand when he nods back down the hallway.

"Magnus," Alec says, laughing, turning to squeeze his hips before he gestures towards the kitchen. "If you think you're the only one that's been overthinking this all _week_ , then… I'm kind of glad you can't read my mind."

"Oh," Magnus replies, instantly relieved, that feeling in the air shifting until it's just him and Alec once again.

"So. I made this _thing_ ," Alec says changing the subject, tugging him into the kitchen and pushing Magnus to lean back against a counter, kissing him when he comes to a stop.

"Thing?"

"It's sort of… there is chicken, tomato, and… all kinds of seasoning. And potato."

"That sounds good."

"Only, I was cleaning up earlier, and I… sort of forgot to put it in to cook," Alec adds, lifting the lid on a crockpot to reveal a dish that is starting to smell good but doesn't look as though it will be ready for hours.

"Well. If I'm staying for most of tomorrow, then perhaps this could be our lunch."

"Works for me," Alec says, already reaching out to turn down the temperature to low. "But… I don't know what else we could eat instead."

"To be honest? I'm not all that hungry just now," Magnus admits, watching Alec pour them glasses of wine.

"Then… maybe we'll figure something else out later?"

"Yes," Magnus agrees, taking a large gulp of wine the moment he sees Alec doing the same. Nodding when he gestures towards the living room and following to sink down beside him on the couch.

"You wanna watch something?" Alec asks, already reaching for the remote.

"Sure."

As typically happens when he comes over, Magnus watches Alec flick through several channels until he finds something half-interesting, then settles back on the couch. Magnus leans back to join him with a kiss to his shoulder and a clink of glass on glass. Each of them tries to start a conversation that fails after just a few words, until Alec is sitting up in frustration and taking Magnus' glass, pushing both on to the coffee table before turning into him.

"Why are we being weird about this?"

"I have no idea," Magnus replies, sweeping his fingers up over Alec's cheek before resting his hand there, closing the gap between them as he closes his eyes.

"We both _want_ this. Right?" Alec adds, his eyes flitting over Magnus' face like he's searching for any sign of hesitation.

"We do," Magnus agrees, reaching out to squeeze his thigh.

Alec sighs against him, wrapping a hand around Magnus' waist and pulling until he's pressed back into the couch with Magnus draped half-over him. "So. What do we do?"

"We should pretend that this is any other evening," Magnus suggests, catching the uncertainty dancing in Alec's eyes. "We already said that we would… that there would be no expectations."

"Same as any other evening, huh?" Alec says with a nervous smile, pinching the top button of Magnus' shirt.

"Yes," Magnus agrees, nudging so Alec knows he wants to rearrange them, then settles between his legs as he's now done so many times.

"Sounds good," Alec replies, his hands already sweeping over Magnus' back beneath his shirt.

Magnus leans in to kiss him, the same as he would on any other evening like this. He cradles Alec's face, thumb swirling over his chest between his shirt buttons, and with a quick glance to make sure Alec is okay, undoes the first. Alec is already tugging on Magnus' shirt, screwing his face up in apology as it gets stuck on his head when he pulls too hard.

Magnus laughs, shrugging out of the shirt himself and throwing it behind him, humming as greedy hands start tracing familiar paths over his chest.

"I still don't know how tai chi leaves you looking like _this_ ," Alec says, shifting a little beneath him and letting his fingertips trace out lines of muscle.

"It is all to do with… core training."

"Yeah, I can see that," Alec agrees, flattening his hands against Magnus' skin before sweeping one up to hook around the back of his neck and draw him back down into a kiss.

Between them they work open Alec's shirt buttons, laughing when the first sleeve gets stuck on his shoulder, and the second on his wrist. The laughter dies on both their mouths as they press together skin on skin. That charged feeling from earlier returns between them for another few seconds, with Alec's throat clicking as he swallows, licking his lips before surging up for a kiss. Magnus meets him eagerly, humming at the sweep of Alec's hands repeatedly over his back, and swallowing his answering whimper when he starts to roll his hips. He braces himself just enough to reach down for Alec's thighs so he knows to wrap his legs around his waist, then ducks to mouth up the length of his tattoo.

Alec turns his head away to give him room, though his hands are sweeping down his back to grab his ass, rutting up beneath him until they're moving together.

"Just like any other evening," Magnus teases, kissing it into his throat.

"Yeah," Alec agrees, claiming his mouth again as his hands are everywhere, sweeping up his arms, and back, before squeezing his ass again.

This _is_ like so many of their evenings. Either sprawled out on Alec's couch just as they are now, or doing the same on Magnus' bed over the store. Magnus has repeatedly mapped out all the tattoos covering Alec's skin, with Alec taking just as much time to explore every inch of him as well. There have been so many moments when fingers have lingered over the waistbands of boxers, or thumbs have stroked down thickened lengths through them. Both of them hesitant, pulling back, before starting the entire exploration once again. It's silly, really, how much they clearly want each other, but keep holding back from taking that next step.

"Why were we waiting again?" Alec asks as though he's reading Magnus' thoughts, working his fingers between them to start unbuttoning Magnus' pants.

"Right now? I have no idea," Magnus replies, lifting up so Alec has room. Groaning when his thumb follows the zip of his fly.

"I guess this must be the longest you've ever waited to do this, huh?"

"It is," Magnus agrees, still mouthing at his neck. "Though that doesn't mean—"

"I wasn't saying it was a bad thing," Alec says, cutting him off. "I just… it's not normal to wait this long for… to do—"

"Who says it isn't?" Magnus asks, pulling back only enough to smile at him. "There is no set time for any of this. We just—"

"I was just saying," Alec says, sweeping his hands down Magnus' back to slip his hands into his pants to squeeze his ass.

"Well," Magnus says, quickly sitting and pulling until Alec knows to straddle his lap. Forgetting anything else he wants to add for the solid thickness pressing at the fly of Alec's jeans. Magnus feels out the shape of him there, smiling as Alec groans for it, then holds his breath and keeps eye contact as he undoes his fly.

Alec arches to press into his hand as Magnus teases up the length of him through his boxers, fingers fumbling to do the same to him. Magnus hesitates, thinks about feeling Alec's hand on him, and nudges him back until Alec knows to kneel.

Now that he has room to move, Magnus swallows back the click in his throat, not taking his eyes off Alec as he shifts just enough slot his fingers into the waistband of his boxers. He pauses, sucking in a sharp breath for the intensity in Alec's look for him. Then angles up and slides his boxers and pants down until they're at the tops of his thighs, leaving him exposed.

Alec's hand gives a violent twitch against Magnus' arm before he's reaching for him. Hesitant fingers sweep over his length leaving Magnus shuddering, then groaning as Alec takes him in his hand.

"Magnus," Alec chokes out, dropping their foreheads together as he starts to stroke him. Magnus looks down to watch Alec's hand on him then has to kiss him, chasing his tongue in his mouth.

Alec's jeans are too tight to get to him Magnus realizes when he tries to work his hand in better. Alec groans as Magnus presses his thumb along his length again, then slides off his lap to stand without warning, hands out either side for balance. Magnus watches as he swallows hard, hands curling uncertainly, before he's slotting them into his sides and shoving his boxers and jeans down to mid-thigh.

Magnus licks his lips for the view in front of him, desperate to lean in to taste. Alec's hands are still twitching down by his sides like he's not sure what he's supposed to be doing now. So Magnus first reaches out to slot his fingers through Alec's in reassurance, and then presses a hand flat against his thigh. He looks up, waiting for Alec to give a sharp nod, then sweeps his fingertips up his length from root to tip, his own cock jolting for the way Alec stutters and hurriedly grabs at his shoulders as he wraps his fingers around him.

Alec curls over Magnus, watching as he strokes him over, stumbling as he rests his legs against the couch between Magnus' knees for support.

"You okay?" Magnus asks, swallowing as a swirl of his thumb over Alec's head leaves him stuttering again.

"Yeah," Alec punches out, gripping his shoulders harder when Magnus alters his grip. "But can we… can we move? Go? To—"

Magnus can't resist leaning in to press a kiss just to the underside of Alec's cockhead, lapping just once over his tip and grabbing at Alec's thighs when his knees threaten to buckle for it.

" _Bed_ ," Alec blasts out, tugging his jeans and boxers back up before pulling Magnus to his feet to do the same. They stumble together to the bedroom, hands back on each other in greedy exploration, giggling as they strip one another then fall in an ungainly heap when Alec slips on the leg of his jeans.

"If you make a comment about me being _graceful_ —"

"I wouldn't _dream_ of it," Magnus replies, those giggles giving way to smiles, and those in turn back to that heated look between them, meaning there are only a few seconds before Alec is angling up to be kissed.

His hand is hesitant when he reaches for Magnus, first fluttering over his hip before sweeping fingertips across his stomach, taking him in hand once again. Magnus rolls to be closer, fingertips walking a path down Alec's chest before doing the same.

"Magnus," Alec groans into his mouth, rolling himself through Magnus' hand.

"Yes?"

"Nothing," Alec says, grinning, sweeping his hand over his side and chest. "I'm just… that we're finally _here_ , I…"

"It's good," Magnus finishes for him when Alec's words come to a stop, smiling as he swirls his thumb over Alec's head and he jolts for it.

"Yeah," Alec agrees, leaning in to kiss him again.

Their exploration of one another continues, and Alec's breath bursts out in sharp blasts as Magnus shuffles closer, taking them both in his hand.

"Like this," Magnus says, taking Alec by the wrist so he knows to slot his fingers through his own, and together they rut into their joint hands.

Alec whines for it, stealing a breathless kiss before he throwing his head back with a groan. "I… I bought some… I have some… stuff?"

"Oh?"

Alec surges forward to kiss him again, pressing their foreheads together before visibly forcing himself to roll away. Magnus settles to rest on his side as he watches Alec reach for his nightstand, catching a shy darting of Alec's eyes when he drops a bottle of lube and box of condoms on the bed between them, before hesitantly taking his hand.

"Well. I don't think we will need _all_ of these this evening—"

"I just thought. For _later._ "

"Alexander," Magnus says, kissing the hesitance from Alec's mouth. "I have the very same in my overnight bag."

"You do?"

"I do."

"I… don't think we'll need _that_ many."

"No. But it is good that we are both prepared for this."

"Yeah," Alec says, and that it blasts out uncertainly has Magnus slotting their fingers together to rest against the bed.

"We don't need to do anything. Or anything that needs these, if we don't want to," Magnus says, nodding towards the box.

"No. But I want to," Alec says, licking his lips, "I mean. If you do, too. I didn't mean—"

"I do," Magnus assures him.

"Then… _good_."

"Did you think about _how_ you want to do this?" Magnus adds, dropping Alec's hand to reach for the lube and uncapping it, pouring it over his hand.

"Uh… everything? All of it. I don't—"

Magnus has to kiss the groan falling from Alec's mouth the second he wraps his slicked up fingers around him, a hard wave of want leaving him rutting against the bed to get some friction.

Alec quickly grabs his arm so Magnus knows to keep moving, copying Magnus' actions with the lube before taking him in hand. Magnus throws the bottle and condoms behind him and shuffles closer, guiding Alec once again to slot their fingers together, and smiling for the way Alec's eyes flutter closed.

"So," Magnus says when he opens them again, stealing another kiss, "you've done _this_ before."

To emphasize his point Magnus slows their hands to give them a tight, firm stroke.

"Yeah," Alec blasts out, snatching his mouth away and watching the slide of them together.

"And… anything else?"

"Not really."

"What does _not really_ mean?" Magnus asks, groaning himself when Alec sweeps his thumb over his head and smiles at him in triumph.

"Just… maybe I… maybe once or twice, I—"

"Yes, Alec?"

"Maybe, uh… with my mouth—"

"Alexander," Magnus gasps out at the thought of Alec's mouth on him, rolling him on to his back and slotting between Alec's legs.

Alec splays them instinctively, knees raised and feet flat to the bed, nudging Magnus up so he can watch them gliding together then dragging him back down to be kissed. They move together, building up a rhythm that leaves them both gasping and groaning. Magnus mouths along Alec's neck tattoo, helpless to stop himself pressing a little harder than usual for the heat rolling through his core.

"I need… I need—"

"What?" Magnus asks, smiling for the way Alec's hands flutter over his back before settling on his ass, and grinding up beneath him.

"Can we… can you…"

"Yes, Alec?" Magnus asks, his heart already pounding in anticipation for whatever he wants them to try next.

"Would you… I want you _in_ me," Alec blurts out, apparently far too aroused to even blush.

"You're sure?" Magnus says, jolting hard for the thought of sliding into Alec, unable to stop himself grinding them together again.

"Yeah," Alec gasps when he snatches his mouth away. "Yeah. I want that."

"And you'll tell me. If anything… If I _do_ —"

"Magnus," Alec says, squeezing his ass as he rolls up beneath him. "I want this. Please."

Magnus drops his head into Alec's neck with a want-filled groan, forcing himself to topple over on to his side. He kisses Alec as he reaches behind him for the lube, uncapping it awkwardly to once again coat his hand. Alec splays his legs wider without breaking eye contact, the gesture making Magnus' stomach drop. He lingers his fingertips over Alec's taint as he watches his reaction, smiling at the way his stomach ripples when he parts his cheeks.

"So. Alec. Have you done this to yourself before?" he asks as he swirls an insistent fingertip against his hole.

"Yes," Alec replies, which fills Magnus' head with images of Alec touching himself, forcing obscenities to fall from his lips unchecked. "You, uh… like that idea?"

Magnus surges forward to kiss him, insistently pressing and massaging until his fingertip begins to dip in. Then curses out loud again when Alec reaches down to hold himself open and whimpers as he slowly slides a finger into him.

"Are you okay?" Magnus asks, laughing when Alec reaches down to grip his hand around his wrist, beginning to writhe down on it. "Okay. You're fine."

"I told you before," Alec says, arching up as Magnus begins to work his finger in and out of him. "If I need you to stop. I'll tell you."

Magnus smiles before kissing him, monitoring Alec's expression as he seeks out his prostate, his throat clicking as Alec whines. "Well. Okay, Alec."

"Keep going," Alec gasps out, his breath in short sharp blasts again as Magnus presses a firm circle monitoring for his reaction. Alec lifts his head up and stutters as Magnus presses a second finger into him, dropping it back again as he rolls his hips up to meet him.

Magnus is leaking and rutting against Alec's leg, with Alec feebly reaching for him only to be calling out when Magnus scissors his fingers apart.

"It has been a while for me," Magnus tells him, soothing Alec with another kiss as he continues to work him open when he whines as he holds his fingers apart. "At this moment, it feels as though I'm only going to last a few seconds."

"Well. You're here all day tomorrow," Alec retorts, smiling as he chases another kiss, then dropping his head back with a groan again.

"And we do have two boxes of condoms to go through."

Alec bursts out laughing, the urgency Magnus feels to be in him replaced by the need to just hold him. Squeezing Alec's waist to roll him back on to his side.

"We're in no hurry, remember?" Alec whispers, draping his leg high over Magnus' hip so he can better angle his fingers into him, then slotting his hand down between them to stroke his cock.

"True," Magnus says, thrusting into his hand for only two strokes before gripping his wrist to stop him. "Still. I won't be good for anything if you keep doing that."

Alec smiles at him in triumph and leans in for another kiss.

"Do you… are you sure about this?" Magnus asks, earning himself an exasperated nuzzle against his cheek.

" _Yes_."

"You're not… concerned?"

"Only that you seem to _think_ I should be concerned."

"Alec—"

" _Magnus_ ," Alec retorts, writhing back on Magnus' hand before pulling his fingers free of him, and sweeping his hand up his side. "Don't you think we've done enough overthinking about this?"

"I suppose," Magnus says, reaching up for his earcuff, and following Alec's eyes as he watches him do it.

"Then. Can we?"

Magnus leans in and kisses him, hand squeezing at Alec's hip as he tells himself to calm. "Maybe you should… this time, anyway. Perhaps you should—"

"Like this?" Alec says, already rolling on to his front, his face flushed as he angles himself back.

Magnus groans into his shoulder, rearranges Alec how he wants him so he can slot between his legs. He molds over his ass, groaning again when he pulls his cheeks apart and dips his fingers in and Alec arches back for it.

Magnus makes quick work of ripping open the condom box, sure he'll curse himself later for the mess he's made of it with cardboard strewn everywhere, though already tearing a condom from the strip. He catches Alec's eye as he looks over his shoulder, fumbling to open the foil and groaning as he covers himself, squeezing around his base.

"You need to tell me if—"

" _Magnus_ ," Alec says, laughing, and arching his ass back in tease. Magnus thinks to pinch it, then thinks against it, and instead adjusts on his knees. His stomach giving a nervous flutter as he lines himself up.

Magnus holds Alec open, pressing bluntly against him and watching as he starts to dip in. Alec groans for it, dropping his head between where he's braced on his forearms. He arches up a little, pushing back as Magnus begins to slide into him, then seizes up and lets out a noise that Magnus doesn't know what to make of.

"Alec—"

"I'm okay," Alec says, though it sounds like it's through gritted teeth. "Just… give me a second."

Magnus holds as still as he can, sweeping his hands repeatedly over Alec's back until he settles and nods for him to move again. Magnus slides another inch deeper before Alec is stuttering again. He waits for his nod before moving, groaning when Alec's walls give way enough for him to press all the way in.

Alec's breath is coming out in blasts again, and the tension across his shoulders Magnus doesn't like to see at all. He drapes over him, bracing on one hand and slipping his hand beneath Alec, resting it on his stomach hoping it will calm him.

"Are you okay?"

"Can you… come here? Without… moving?"

Magnus doesn't mean to snort, tries so hard to keep still and stop himself from laughing, but ends up pulling out of Alec altogether and draping over his back, snorting laughter into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry—"

"Why are you laughing?" Alec says, even though he's laughing too, his hand covering Magnus' against his chest as he wraps an arm around him, pressing kisses into his neck.

" _Without moving_?" Magnus says, another blast of giggles hitting him, feeling Alec laughing harder beneath him before he rolls over on to his back.

"I knew what I meant."

"I'm sure you did. Though I'm afraid I am not quite _that_ flexible."

"I don't know," Alec says as Magnus crawls between his knees and splays them to make more room. "All that tai chi."

"Well. Even with that," Magnus says, stroking his hands up Alec's thighs.

"You're still _beautiful_ ," Alec says, smoothing his hands up over his chest.

"As are you."

Alec smiles up at him, and Magnus has to have another kiss. He drops forward to bracket his face between his elbows to kiss him unhurried, smiling when Alec nudges him back. "Can we try it like this?"

"We can try it any way you want."

"Then. Like _this_ ," Alec says, dragging his feet up higher on the bed.

Magnus kneels back up, sweeping greedy hands over Alec splayed out before him, stroking over his length to see him arch before he's reaching to hold him open again. He watches Alec's expression, pausing any time he looks hesitant, but is unable to hold back the deep groan that punches from his mouth for how good it feels when he sinks all the way into him.

Alec looks down at where they are now joined together then back at his face, lips parted as his hands flutter before wrapping around Magnus' waist. He stutters when Magnus withdraws from him, and lets out another whimper as he slides back in. And as Magnus stirs his hips, sliding in and out of him unhurried so Alec can get used to the feel of him, Alec's expression shifts into one he hopes is one of pleased surprise.

"Good?"

"Yeah," Alec says, glancing down between them, adjusting his feet a little before attempting to move.

"Still good?"

" _Magnus_ ," Alec says, laughing, tilting his chin up to be kissed once again.

They find an awkward rhythm between them, continuing to whisper both reassurance and encouragement in between kisses. Though Alec looks startled and presses back into his pillows with a strangled gasp as Magnus drops on to one arm to wrap his hand around his cock.

"Too much?" Magnus asks, swallowing Alec's answering whimper. He tumbles forward to bury his face in his neck concentrating on the heat of Alec swallowing him time and time again.

Though he isn't going to last much longer. Magnus slots his fingers through the back of Alec's hair as he mouths at his neck, pleading with himself to hold out. But he can't, driving in to Alec faster and harder, getting lost in the sounds blasting from his mouth.

Magnus growls Alec's name into his neck as he comes, eyes closed as he works his way through it, then slumps against him with a moan. Alec's hands flutter repeatedly over his back as he gets his breath back, slotting through his hair until Magnus raises his head.

"Are you okay?" Alec whispers, arching up beneath him.

"Yes," Magnus replies, bending to kiss him. "And you?"

"I'm good."

Magnus hums in agreement and sweeps his hands up Alec's sides as he knees back up giving a final stir of his hips. "Well. You do _feel_ that."

Alec smiles up at him, though it's stolen for the groan blasting from his mouth as Magnus wraps his hand around him. He splays one hand wide over his hip, concentrating on the expressions he makes as he jerks him off. Alec's eyes repeatedly dart between his face and his hand, writhing beneath him the closer he gets to coming.

" _Magnus_ ," Alec blasts out desperately, lifting his head from the pillow and looking down at himself. He falls back again, continued stutters and whines punctuating his breathing until he's shuddering, then tensing beneath Magnus, and spilling over his hand.

Magnus keeps stroking him until Alec begins to jolt, then pitches forward to claim a kiss. "Are you doing okay?"

"Yeah," Alec says, sounding exhausted, but pleased with himself. "You?"

"Oh. I don't think I could be better."

"Yeah?" Alec asks, arching beneath him.

"Yes."

Alec sighs into their kiss, hands sweeping up to grip around Magnus' arms, giving a disgruntled wriggle as he pulls out of him.

"Stay here," Magnus says as he kneels from the bed, pressing a kiss to Alec's knee as he goes.

"I don't think I'm moving for a week."

"I'll take that as a good thing," Magnus replies, pulling the condom from his length with a grimace to knot it.

"Yeah. You should," Alec agrees, smiling as Magnus looks at him, then settling back into his pillows with a contented sigh. Fingers steepled across against his chest with his legs still splayed wide.

Magnus smiles for the sight then makes his way into Alec's bathroom, sure-footed for the number of times he's used it before. He cleans himself up catching the smile on his own face in his reflection before searching for a hand towel to dampen.

Alec's smile for him when he returns calls Magnus to move quicker, crawling between his legs to quickly cleaning him up before laying down by his side again. Alec rolls immediately, hand splayed wide on his hip in claim.

"Hello," Magnus says, feeling giddy, and silly, and not concerned by those feelings at all.

"Hey."

Magnus wants to say so many things, but settles instead for shuffling closer still, resting a hand on Alec's lower back as he kisses his cheek. Then dropping to run his hand over his ass. "You're okay?"

"I'm okay," Alec agrees, smiling back at him as hard as Magnus feels he is doing himself.

"You're not… uncomfortable, or anything?"

" _Magnus_ ," Alec laughs, cupping his face to kiss him again, before curling his fingers back around his waist. "I'm good, okay? I promise. Though can we… stay here for a while? I don't feel like moving. I don't feel like doing _anything_."

Magnus hums in answer, watching Alec press his head into his pillow, neither of them able to look away from one another or stop smiling.

* * *

 


	13. Chapter 13

"Are you nervous?" Magnus asks as he straightens up Alec's jacket for him, tugging on his lapels to get his attention.

"No?" Alec replies, though his face says something else entirely.

"I'll be with you the whole time," Magnus tells him, hoping that is something Alec will find reassuring. Though if truth be told it's _him_ that needs the reassurance of Alec's presence right now. This could be quite the awkward night.

"That's just gonna be _distracting_ ," Alec says, groaning as he cups Magnus' face and kisses him like he has something entirely else in mind than presenting an awards ceremony. "Look at you."

"I would say, you should look at _you_ ," Magnus retorts, thinking just how perfect Alec looks this evening. But Alec's hands are all over him, squeezing his ass and sneaking beneath his jacket, and Magnus has to grab his wrists to stop him from starting to unbutton his shirt.

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize," Magnus smiles, smoothing his hands over Alec's shirt, humming as he leans against him to claim another kiss. "We should just… postpone this. Until later."

"Soon as I get you home," Alec agrees, in that low, deep voice that Magnus is convinced goes straight to his knees.

Magnus plays with his kiss-bruised lips as he watches Alec turn back to his desk to pick up a stack of cue cards he presumes he'll be reading from on the small stage he's already seen set up on the track outside. Waving to the light over their heads when he turns back around. "I told you your office would have awful, harsh lighting."

"Magnus," Alec says, laughing as he grabs his hand and pulls him towards the door, "that's because it's _evening_. And _dark_. In the day, it looks nothing like this."

"I'll have to take your word for it."

"Or come visit," Alec says as he squeezes his hand, holding on to it as he leads Magnus down several flights of stairs to take them outside.

"Well. You haven't invited me before now," Magnus points out, thinking of how flustered Alec had been when he'd asked him to accompany him to this ceremony for sporting achievements, that is Alec's first year of hosting as director.

"Since when do I wait for you to invite _me_ to come to The Lucky Cat?" Alec retorts, nudging against his arm in tease.

"Well. Our work is completely different. It is my store for one; I can't imagine your colleagues would appreciate me just… turning up at your desk unannounced."

" _I'd_ appreciate it," Alec replies, leaning in for a kiss. "Maybe just… come have lunch with me sometime, or something, then."

Magnus grins back at him helplessly and nods in agreement, leaning when directed as Alec pauses in the doorway to claim himself a final kiss, then squeezes his hand in apology as he lets go before they step outside. "Only because—"

"You're at work. You're going up on stage, in front of your entire faculty, to present your students with awards for their achievements. You don't need to be holding hands with your _boyfriend_ to do that," Magnus finishes for him, though is secretly charmed by the idea that Alec is only letting go of him because he _has_ to.

"Plus. You stand too close to me, and I'm not gonna concentrate all night," Alec adds as they walk out together side by side, giving Magnus the once over out of the corner of his eye with a smirk. "I'm gonna be distracted anyway, for knowing that you're here. Seeing you standing there—"

"With your family," Magnus says, trying to keep his smile neutral even if his stomach flips with nerves. He can already see Izzy waving to them enthusiastically from the bleachers, and he would love to wedge himself firmly by her side for the duration of this ceremony so he doesn't have to talk to anyone else. But Alec's mother is stood there stoically to her left, and Clary to her right, and Magnus is struck with enough panic to make his steps falter.

"Don't worry," Alec says, and to Magnus' surprise squeezes his arm around his waist. "They won't bite. Probably."

"That is not all that reassuring," Magnus mumbles half under his breath, resulting in Alec nudging into his side.

"Mother. Clary. This is Magnus," Alec says more formally than Magnus would have expected, or perhaps just as formally as he should have done given the setting. "Izzy. You two already met."

"Charmed, as always," Izzy replies, reaching out and squeezing Magnus' hand.

Maryse's smile is careful, not quite reaching her eyes. Magnus would like to think that it's purely because of the horrendous divorce she is going through, and that his being with Alec is playing no part in the tension he can feel emanating for her.

"It's good to finally meet you," she says, holding her hand out for him to clasp, her voice coming out shaky enough for Magnus to think she might be on the verge of tears.

"Mom. You sure you wanna be here?" Alec asks gently, leaving Magnus sure some kind of Lightwood family drama must have happened before their arrival.

"I'm _fine_ , Alec—"

"Hey. I'm… Clary. We haven't met."

Magnus is instantly charmed by the bright, bubbly redhead smiling back at him in delight. She looks so carefree, as though she hasn't a trouble in the world. A large engagement ring twinkles on her finger as she moves hair out of her face, and Magnus remembers Alec telling him that it was Jace's mother's ring.

"Lovely to meet you," Magnus says before he forgets to answer, waving back.

"Well," Alec says, with a concerned look for his mother before turning to peer over his shoulder at the stage. "I need to get up there. You guys gonna be okay?"

"We'll be _fine_ , Alec," Izzy tells him, tilting her chin for him to go. "Go. I'll take care of Magnus."

"Yeah," Alec says warily, "that's what I'm afraid of."

"Alec. There are only so many deeply embarrassing secrets I'll get to spill before the ceremony is out. Don't _worry_."

Alec glares at Izzy with a ferocity Magnus has never seen from him before his expression softens, and he sighs as he turns to Magnus, leaning in for a kiss. "Don't let them _bully_ you."

"I… I won't."

Izzy's laugh is delighted and mischievous, and Magnus goes when tugged to stand between Clary and Izzy. Alec gives him a final look that he thinks might be in apology then is spinning on his heel, and making his way towards the stage.

"You think he's nervous?" Izzy says, nodding after Alec's retreating back.

"Oh. I know he is. At least a little."

"At least they are finally acknowledging his hard work and officially giving him the title of _director_ ," Maryse adds.

Magnus agrees, really. Alec has been in this acting position for months, with none of the benefits, yet all of the responsibility pressing down on his shoulders. He practically skipped into his store last Thursday waving a letter that made his title of director official, and Magnus is still smiling for the way they had locked up and gone upstairs to _celebrate_ the news. Though shifts in discomfort for the thought of having that particular memory in such close proximity to Alec's _mom_.

"Yes," he says out loud, "it has been long overdue."

Maryse's look for him freezes Magnus in place, not sure if she's trying to read his thoughts or doesn't approve of the casualness of his answer. Or even that he is _here_. But he watches as she seems to fold into herself for a few seconds before straightening her spine, grim determination setting once more on her face.

"Mom. I think they have programs for this thing. We should go get some," Izzy says, tugging on Maryse's arm before she can respond.

Magnus watches them leave, not sure what to make of it, though smiles when Clary nudges for his attention.

"They had more… _news_ , I guess, about their divorce. Or at least about the problems they might have because of _Robert_ ," Clary adds, frowning to herself before smiling again.

"I see."

"Maryse took a call just before we left the house to come here," Clary tells him, making Magnus wonder if Clary must live with the rest of the Lightwoods. "I don't think she should have come, but… she wanted to support Alec tonight."

"I understand that," he says, watching Alec on the stage.

"So if she's _off_ tonight, or anything, then just… don't take it personally," Clary adds, smiling at him when Magnus turns to look at her.

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Believe me," Clarys says, laughing and groaning at the same time. "The first time Jace took me to meet Robert and Maryse, I thought she would burn me right there on the spot for how hard she was glaring at me. Took them _months_ to get used to the idea of me being around."

Magnus nods, but doesn't feel it is his place to add anything further.

"And _Alec_ still doesn't know what to make of me, even after all this time," Clary teases, even though she is looking up at the stage in affection.

"Well—"

"Alec always puts his family before anything else," Clary adds, "I could never fault him for that. He is incredibly protective of those he cares about."

"Of course," Magnus replies, because what else is he to add?

"The Lightwoods certainly have their... charms," Clary tells him then, sighing, "but they're good people. They supported me when I really needed it, and… if you get past all that _frostiness_ , you'll see Maryse just has a really good heart. And wants the best for her family."

Magnus is sure Clary is either trying to warn him to expect something unpleasant from Maryse later, or preparing him for not being made to feel welcome in the family at all. He muses over this as he watches Alec making his final preparations on the stage, through Izzy and Maryse's return, and for most of the ceremony itself. Alec _wanted_ him here, he keeps telling himself, clapping proudly when Alec takes to the microphone, and beaming for every single thing he does that follows. He _wanted_ to share this evening with him alongside his family. He has every right to be here, Magnus tells himself firmly, still imagining mistrustful glances out of the corner of Maryse's eye.

When the final awards are presented and the last announcements made, Izzy grabs Clary by the arm and tugs her away, apparently having spotted someone she knows. Magnus stands rigidly for a moment then moves closer to Maryse, not sure of what else to do. Together they watch Alec on the stage, smiling, clasping people on the shoulder in passing, and at one point throwing his head back in laughter. Magnus smiles for it, though is still unable to shift this feeling of awkwardness for having Maryse there by his side.

"He's been... happier."

Magnus freezes to the spot for Maryse's words, clueless about what to make of them. "Oh?"

"Alec," Maryse says, sighing and nodding towards the stage, smiling when Magnus looks at him. "Since you came into his life, he's been happier. Happier than I've ever seen him."

"Oh. I… hope so."

"Magnus," Maryse says, turning and briefly squeezing his forearm. "I am sorry that you are getting to know our family at what is possibly the very worst moment. The timing could not have been worse. But I am… grateful, that Alec has you to support him."

"I—he does," Magnus stumbles out, sending a half-smile back. Relieved when they are distracted by the sight of Alec making his way down the steps of the stage, already smiling as he seeks them out.

The next few minutes pass in a whirlwind, with Izzy, Clary, and Maryse preparing to head home, and Alec's attention called for by a few people approaching them. Magnus is introduced to colleagues whose names he instantly forgets, though stands proudly by his side throughout the various greetings and goodbyes that follow. That someone is _proud_ to be with him Magnus is convinced he's never experienced quite like this before. It's a humbling feeling that sits with him even when Alec's family have left, and Alec has suggested a quick tour.

 _"Magnus_."

Magnus and Alec come to an abrupt stop for the voice calling out to him, with Magnus turning just enough to see Jamie running towards them. Magnus barely holds on to his snort of laughter as Jamie's eyes grow wider darting between his and Alec's face in blatant astonishment.

"It's good to see you, Jamie," Magnus says, smiling.

"Yeah. Likewise," Jamie replies, taking another look at Alec. "I know I told you, you should get out of your store more often, but—"

"Jamie. I'm sure you know Alec."

"S-sure. Uh… yeah. Seen him around. Hi, Mr. Lightwood," he adds with a really awkward wave.

"Hey," Alec says, in a tone Magnus assumes he must use with all the students here, approachable and friendly, as though he is always on their side. "I think I've seen you around."

"I… sometimes I run," Jamie stutters out, eyes widening before he looks at Magnus, who is sure he is pleading for him not to rat him out about ogling Alec in his basketball shorts.

"Oh. Good," Alec says, smiling. "We're thinking of starting a running club next semester. You in?"

"I… maybe?"

"Good. Keep an eye out. Flyers'll be going up soon."

"...great."

"Jamie has been a regular in The Lucky Cat for… coming up to three years now. Right?" Magnus adds when Jamie's eyes continue to flit nervously between them, then settle on Alec and just _stare_.

"Right," Jamie says, barely remembering to snatch his eyes away from Alec. "Skin."

"I went in for tea," Alec laughs, completely oblivious to Jamie's awkwardness as he smiles at Magnus. "Couldn't stop going back."

Jamie looks at Magnus, then back at Alec, his eyes finally dropping to their hands tangled together between them and flaring wider still. "So you're… you're—"

"Yes, Jamie?" Magnus replies in the most teasing tone he can manage.

Jamie slams his mouth shut and hums, shaking his head before trying to speak again. "I'll be in next week. For… the usual."

"I'll have it ready," Magnus tells him, wondering if Jamie will wait until he sees him to start interrogating him about Alec, or if he should expect several texts waiting on his phone by the end of the night.

"So. What was that?" Alec asks after Jamie has awkwardly made excuses to leave, and they watch him walking fast in the opposite direction.

"Jamie just… has been telling me for months I need to get out more."

"You… you're staying at mine tonight, right?" Alec asks completely changing the subject, with a hopeful smile for Magnus as he leans into his side.

Magnus glances around them at the remaining people still milling about on the track, deciding that there are few of them left enough. He tugs on Alec's hand to bring him to a stop, then turns until they are facing, and nods.

"Of course," he replies, leaning in for a kiss, and smiling against Alec's mouth when he feels his arms wrap around his waist to pull him closer.

* * *

"How did you fit all this… _stuff_ , in this tiny little space?" Alec asks, taping up yet another box to stack beside the doorway so that when they are finished, they can carry everything downstairs.

"What happened to me having _ample space_ in here?" Magnus teases, kissing him as he stacks another box on the pile.

"Well. I guess it has enough space for _some_ things," Alec admits, grabbing Magnus and pulling him against his chest before he can get too far.

Magnus smiles against him, hands beneath Alec's shirt, humming as Alec grabs his ass to pull him closer still. "In some ways, I'll miss it."

"Magnus. It's been your home for months," Alec says softly, "of course you'll miss it a little."

"Though, I'm sure the place will be unrecognizable less than a few hours after Dot has moved all her things up here."

"So. By this time tomorrow night," Alec says, swaying him, "when we've got all your stuff into your new place, and all Dot's stuff here, you think she'd have already moved stuff around?"

"Well. Perhaps not moved things around too much," Magnus says, looking at the furniture he's leaving behind and knowing there is no room to have things any other way. "Though certainly she will have started to put her own stamp on things."

"So quickly?"

"As much as is possible. She has a busy week ahead with tying up loose ends at work, and with her old apartment. I'm not even sure exactly whether she plans on sleeping here from tomorrow, or going back and forth until she is done with everything."

Alec hums but doesn't say anything else, just sweeps his hands up Magnus' back beneath his shirt and kisses him again. Magnus thinks if one of them doesn't rein it in soon, they will never get all of his boxes ready downstairs in The Lucky Cat. He probably should have finished packing long before now. Though by trying to fill as many orders as possible before moving, and spending most of his free time in between with Alec, he really hasn't had the time. Alec volunteered to help him earlier in the week when he woke from staying over and tripped over a half-packed bag at the side of the bed. Though now that he is here and helping him, they have barely managed to keep their hands off each other since he arrived.

Magnus then thinks of Alec staying over in his new apartment, of all the rooms and furniture he plans on _christening_ with him over the next few weeks, and forgets all about the packing they are yet to finish. He backs Alec against a wall after tugging off his shirt, throwing it behind him and hoping it hits the bed. Alec returns the gesture, slotting his hands through the back of his hair to keep him in place, and groaning when Magnus mouths up the length of his neck tattoo.

"We're getting nowhere," Alec manages to huff out, slotting his fingers in Magnus' back pockets and squeezing.

"No. But I'm not complaining."

"You will be, when we have to wake up really early to finish everything in the morning," Alec teases, though doesn't do anything to stop.

"Alexander. Are you telling me I am not a morning person?"

"Oh. Not at all," Alec replies, laughing. "You're a morning person when it suits you. But when you have to do something you don't really want to, then, yeah. Not a morning person."

"Should I be worried that you know me so well so quickly?" Magnus asks, smiling when Alec shakes his head and wraps him up in a hug with a kiss to his shoulder.

"No. You're just so… easy to get to know."

"I am?"

"Yeah. Are to me, anyway," Alec replies, and Magnus has to kiss him for it. "But we should… probably finish this, huh?"

Magnus huffs in protest but kisses him in agreement, squeezing Alec's fingers when he holds his hands out. "We should."

"So let's… get everything downstairs. Take a shower. Have some dinner. And then… whatever else you want," he adds, teasing him with a wink.

"In that order?" Magnus asks, fluttering his fingers over Alec's fly and laughing when he raises an eyebrow at him.

"It's the order that makes the most sense."

"Fine," Magnus says, sighing to pretend he doesn't agree with him. Then huffing indignantly when he spins away for Alec reaching out to grab his ass.

* * *

"Dammit."

Magnus snorts as he hears something fall in the shower, opening the bathroom door to find Alec trying to bend down to reach for it. "Everything okay?"

"You were right about this shower being ridiculously small," Alec says, though Magnus only just makes out his mumble over the sound of the water.

"I was," Magnus agrees, grinning as Alec folds himself up almost like a pretzel just to fumble for the shower gel he's knocked to the floor. His ass is pressed back against the shower glass, and when he stands up the entire cubicle creaks. Magnus does nothing to help for enjoying the view, laughing when Alec suddenly spins around and catches him watching.

"Not gonna help?"

"Well. If there is barely enough room in there for _you_ , then I can hardly join you."

"Then. Why did you already get undressed?" Alec retorts, taking a slow glance over him.

"Efficiency?"

"Yeah, right."

"Well. Practicality, perhaps."

"Just get over here," Alec says, pushing open the door and dragging Magnus in.

The cubicle is too tight when he closes the door behind them. They are squashed together, which although admittedly feels very nice there is no room to move at all. They can't even turn enough to reach for the shower gel now on the small shelf next to Magnus' head, and when Alec tries to adjust his feet and slips for it, has nowhere to fall. Only ends wedged in the shower with his feet either side of Magnus against the opposite wall, and his shoulders pressed against the glass behind him.

"Well. This is an unfortunate position to be in. For you," Magnus adds, for the way Alec has braced himself and is practically thrusting against him, though only in an attempt to get upright.

"I think I'm stuck."

"I'll say."

"No, Magnus," Alec says, laughing as he tries to right himself. "I don't think I can move."

Magnus takes the time to tease his fingertips over Alec's length and smirk when it twitches with interest, then grips his sides and holds him steady as he stands. "Better?"

"Much," Alec says as he attempts to wedge his hand down between them and huffs in frustration when he can't.

"Just because _you_ currently have a shower room that is almost indecent in its size," Magnus says, nosing his jaw away so he can kiss Alec's neck.

"You'll have the same in literally twenty-four hours. Or at least, a _bigger_ shower. Right?"

"Oh, I will. And a bathtub—"

"That you're spending all of your first night in with a bottle of wine," Alec finishes for him, smirking. "I know."

"With a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates that _you_ bought me," Magnus points out, squeezing Alec's shoulders since he has no room to do anything else.

"Only because you've been more excited about that bathtub than pretty much anything else."

"I'm looking forward to having a bigger shower. A new bed. _Space_. My apothecary—"

"Okay," Alec says, laughing, "so maybe you're looking forward to a few more things besides your first bath."

"Though I am looking forward to _that_ very much."

"And _I'm_ looking forward to our first bath _together_ ," Alec adds, with a look that presses heat into Magnus' stomach.

"Oh," Magnus says, helplessly grinning, "as am I."

"But for now," Alec says, pressing himself against the wall so he has room to move his arm enough to shove the door open, "I guess we'll just have to deal with _this_."

"We'll get water everywhere," Magnus says, even though Alec is braced in the shower doorway and blocking it, so Magnus has room to turn to face him. And he has no objections whatsoever when Alec reaches out to take him in hand.

"We'll be fine," Alec assures him, though glowers at the wall when he hits his elbow in the exact spot Magnus usually does.

Magnus lazily raises his hand to begin playing with Alec, already sure he's addicted to the feel of him thickening in his hand. Especially for the noises that accompany it, the curses that seem to punch from his throat when things feel particularly good. He only needs to run his thumb over his head, or trace the veins along his cock with his fingertips, and Alec's eyes start to flutter.

Alec is so responsive to his touch that Magnus has already spent several mornings just teasing him like he is currently, discovering more and more things that he likes. Even if the more sentimental side of him is more excited about just waking up with Alec in the morning, learning all the ways he can make him feel good has become one of Magnus' favorite things. Not that Alec doesn't enjoy doing exactly the same to him, humming in approval when Magnus lets out a soft moan for the dart of heat a change of grip sends through him. Alec sweeps his free hand at an awkward angle over Magnus' chest in exploration, giving up when he hits his arm again and instead dropping it to cup his balls.

Magnus groans as he curls forward, making the mistake of trying to get his feet further apart.

"This _shower_ —"

His protest is cut off by Alec leaning in to kiss him, slipping his hand around to squeeze his ass.

"You'll fall," Magnus protests, wedging his hands in Alec's sides in the doorway to prevent him toppling back off the small shower ledge.

"I mean. I _could_ ," Alec agrees, not giving Magnus time to answer for how quickly he drops to his knees.

Alec laps his tongue out over his head before Magnus can say a word, wrapping his fingers around his base to keep him where he wants him. He looks up at Magnus, whose brain has frozen for the very idea of Alec's mouth on him even if it's not the first time he's done this. Magnus reaches out to unstick the hair from Alec's forehead where it's being splattered down by the shower spray before cupping his cheek. Stumbling when Alec turns his face so he can take his thumb into his mouth to suck.

"Might wanna hold on to something," Alec says before wrapping his fingers around Magnus' hips.

Magnus quickly grips against the shower door frame just as Alec sucks him into his mouth. His throat clicks for the first clever swirl of tongue that darts along his slit before over his crown, and groans when Alec sucks again, the heat it fires through him making Magnus' knees feel like they might buckle.

Alec squeezes his hips, still looking up as he drags his lips repeatedly down his length, until Magnus can just about make out the smile around him when he calls out his name. Though it's when Alec reaches down between his own legs and squeezes himself that Magnus' knees actually fail him. Barely gripping the door frame in time before he falls.

"You okay?" Alec asks as he pulls off him, his voice already gravelly from having him in his mouth.

"You should… can you do that again?"

"What?"

"With your hand."

Alec's mouth curls up into a smile, before he spreads his knees a little further apart and takes himself in hand. "This?"

Magnus nods even as he swallows hard for the sight in front of him, first unable to drag his eyes away from Alec's hand on himself, and then can't stop staring at his face for the way Alec's mouth falls open as a wave of pleasure hits him. Jolting hard when he watches Alec bite down on his lower lip.

"Alec—"

Alec cuts Magnus off by lapping over the length of him again, before once more sealing his lips around his crown. Magnus braces against the door frame, a heavy weight beginning to press down on his stomach as pleasured heat builds in him. Though it's Alec touching himself, the confident way he circles his thumb over his head and twists his grip that is stealing the breath from his lungs.

" _Magnus_."

Magnus grips tighter still to the door frame as his name spills from Alec's lips, and Alec spills over his own hand. He watches Alec milk himself, stomach rolling when he shudders for becoming oversensitive. And can't stop reaching instinctively to wrap his fingers around himself, groaning as he comes after just a couple of tugs.

"Well. We didn't need to worry about the size of your shower cubicle after all," Alec says as he gets to his feet.

"No. I guess not."

"You like… watching?" Alec asks, balancing on the ledge of the shower so Magnus still has room.

"I like… watching _you_ ," Magnus replies. Not adding that he might have lost sleep several nights after Alec had admitted how much he'd started getting himself off after they'd started to get to know each other.

"Huh," Alec says, leaning in for a kiss. "Well. Maybe next time we'll try that when we have more room."

Magnus hums in answer, leaning in to claim another kiss.

"Maybe we should take it in turns to get cleaned up," Alec says, stepping back and closing the door behind him, though still watching him through the glass.

Magnus turns his back to Alec, smiling at the thought of him watching him, reaching for the shower gel and taking his time to lather himself up.

* * *

 


	14. Chapter 14

Everything is perfect. Everything in Magnus' life is heading in a positive direction, and it's been so long since he hasn't woken with a smile on his face Magnus is convinced he might never frown again. He stretches as he wakes luxuriating in the feel of the new mattress beneath him, and slowly opens his eyes to peer around his new bedroom.

There are still boxes of books to slot on to his new bookshelves, and some furniture still in its protective wrap. His walk-in closet has clothes hung but still shoeboxes to unpack. But despite only being in his new home a matter of days, Magnus feels like he belongs here. Finds himself wandering the rooms just taking in how much _space_ he now has.

Magnus climbs out of bed and stretches beside it, thinking with the way the sun is streaming in through the windows at this early hour that it might be a good time for some early morning tai chi. He walks through to the lounge, turning his head to smile unconsciously at everything his eyes fall upon. Magnus puts on some music, stretches, and begins his familiar routine. It's so familiar that he doesn't have to think about the intricacies of each movement, leaving his thoughts to inevitably turn to Alec, who makes up the part of his life that is contributing the most to the smile on his face.

Alec's message waiting for Magnus once he's finished makes him smile harder still, taking time to think of an answer that flirts back just as much. His stomach knots in nervous excitement for this evening, since Alec is coming for dinner, and there have been hints and pointed looks without having an actual conversation that suggest Alec won't be going home tonight.

It's probably silly to be this excited about falling asleep next to Alec in his own bed in this new apartment. Magnus' heart thuds for all the things that might lead to them wearing themselves out so that they _can_ fall asleep. But just the thought of Alec being here in the morning, of reaching across the sheets to have him there beneath his palms, is comforting for Magnus, in ways he never thought he'd get to feel again. He's in such a good mood, that even his usual self-taunts about not messing things up can't take hold in his head.

Alec's response to his message makes Magnus' throat dry out with its intent, leading to him taking a couple of minutes to make sure certain supplies are in his nightstand within easy reach. He then fusses over new bedding despite only putting on his current set two days earlier when he moved in, and chides himself for his imagination wandering to making shelf space for Alec in his bathroom, an additional toothbrush clattering in the cup.

 _"I can't wait to see you tonight_ ," Magnus reads a couple of messages later, and the sweetness of it stops him in his tracks in the middle of making breakfast. Magnus makes himself pause before answering though only for a moment or two, closing his eyes and smiling to himself. Then tries to force his thoughts from being constantly of _Alec_ to anything else.

Dot will be taking over the store in a matter of weeks from now, and Magnus' second bedroom is already shaping up to be the perfect apothecary room for his business. Everything is falling into place, and Magnus thinks it might take a while before he can believe his luck.

Magnus' day is so good, that he finds himself humming as he walks around his local supermarket buying ingredients for their dinner, and gets distracted in the florists when he decides to indulge in some orchids to decorate the apartment. He scrambles to grab his phone as he makes his way home with his purchases, answering a call that he assumes is from Alec.

"Magnus."

Magnus' stomach drops and his blood runs cold, and it takes him a couple of seconds to stop feeling like he might be sick. He steps away from the stream of people rushing towards him on the sidewalk, staring at the screen and answering only when he hears his name being called again.

"Father."

"It is good to hear your voice. I feel as though you have been avoiding me," his father says, and even after all these years, Magnus can't stop the loathing building up in his throat.

"It's… been a while," Magnus says, begging his voice to stay level.

"It has," his father sighs, injecting false hurt into it. "I'm fairly sure you have my number stored under some cursed name or another. I suppose I should be satisfied that you didn't reject my call."

"I hope you're well," Magnus says, cursing himself for not having done just that. In fact, he thinks, as he has been thinking for years, why hasn't he just changed his number? Cut his father off altogether so he never has to speak to him again?

"I cannot complain," his father says again with a deep, rumbling sigh, as though Magnus might be interrupting _him_.

"What do you want?" Magnus asks, hoping to cut the conversation short so his father doesn't guilt trip him or attempt to talk him into things he has no interest in being a part of like he usually does.

"Can a father not just call his son to check on his well being?"

"If I believed for a minute that was what you were doing—"

"Perhaps I am," his father says, and it's that goading, taunting, teasing tone in his voice that makes Magnus want to throw the phone as far away as he can, then run in the other direction.

"Please—"

" _Fine_ ," his father sighs again, as though Magnus is inconveniencing him intentionally. "Perhaps I wanted to ask, yet again, that my son joins me in—"

"I have absolutely no interest in your business—"

"Yet you were interested enough in my wealth," his father counters, and though it's an old argument, and his threats have so far proved empty, there isn't a part of Magnus that trusts his father for a second. The usual panic about everything he's worked so hard for crashing down around him seizes him so hard Magnus has to remind himself to breathe.

"I was interested in the money my _father_ left me in a trust fund when I was a child. I am not interested in any crooked—"

"My work is not _crooked_ ," his father bites back sounding on the edge of being furious. "It is—"

"It's hardly legal."

" _Legal_ is such a… _flexible_ term."

"No, it isn't; not for people who don't _break_ the law," Magnus points out, closing his eyes. "And for what I hope is the last time, I have no interest in you investing in my own business, or selling any of your… products, through mine. It is never going to happen."

On the surface, Magnus is sure his father's work looks legal, and that there is much he does to appear as the noble, successful business owner he presents himself to be. But Magnus has seen details of some of the products that his father has in subsidiary companies, and cannot want to distance himself from those businesses further.

"I see no reason why you cannot just sell some of my own products from that quaint little—"

"We've been over this," Magnus says, raising his voice and immediately flinching for his father's reaction. "I have no room for such things in my—"

"Are you telling me that every single product that you produce, is completely, one hundred percent, as it should be?"

" _Yes_."

"Are you sure, Magnus? Because I am certain that a quick call to certain authorities would raise a question—"

"Why do you insist on these threats every time you ask me to do something for you that you know I won't do?" Magnus asks with far more confidence than he feels. Even if he has all the proof and documentation that he needs to dispute any such claims.

These goading comments have been coming from his father for years, ever since Magnus opened the door of The Lucky Cat for the first time and closed it immediately in his father's face. He should know better than to react to them. But these threats to undermine his business still might impact the success and image of all his hard work, even if he has done nothing wrong.

"For all your insistence that you don't want to be _associated_ with my products, our businesses are still… _related_ ," his father says then, taunting amusement beginning to seep into his voice.

"That is the point of me _not_ associating your work with mine," Magnus retorts, "I refuse to have anything to do with it. How are they related to yours in any way?"

"I funded them. I funded the possibility of them."

"You did no such thing. You set up a trust fund for a son you never wanted, to silence the woman you took advantage of so _she_ couldn't damage your precious reputation either," Magnus points out, begging himself not to get worked up.

"Since you are insistent everything I do is so… underhand, think of what would happen were people to be concerned about my business practices, if they were tied to your own," his father goads again, and Magnus again wants to throw the phone. This is exactly what he is afraid of. That nagging doubt that there might be some tie between his and his father's business whispers at Magnus, filling his voice with a trace of that doubt even when he tries to disguise it.

"There is nothing—"

"If there is _nothing_ , then why do you sound so… concerned?" his father demands. Magnus wants to ask himself the same question, but has no answer to it.

"Look. I—"

"Perhaps I should come to visit, so that we can speak about this in person," his father adds, and Magnus once again reminds himself this is an old threat, that he's heard it so many times before and nothing has come of it at all.

"Father—"

"I will be seeing you soon, Magnus."

Magnus moves to protest, but his father is ending the call. He's still staring at the phone several seconds after he's gone, hoping this is not the time that his father chooses to come good on his promise.

* * *

Magnus' mood has been off ever since his father's call, making every moment of his day seem heavy, and every task leaving him irritable; even the things he usually loves to do. Even the thought of Alec's imminent arrival at his apartment after work is doing nothing but make Magnus feel more nervous and on edge. He's so tense that he almost wants to call Alec and make excuses about why he should perhaps come another night instead. The last thing he wants is to take this out on Alec or do anything to make him believe he's done anything wrong. And then Magnus is hit with a fresh wave of guilt for not talking to Alec about his father before now.

Alec arrives as Magnus unpacks and is trying to rehearse what to tell him, kissing the fear from him the moment he steps through the door. Magnus leans into it, wraps an arm around Alec trying not to press the photo frame he's still holding into his back, and closes his eyes at the kiss to his neck.

"Hey," Alec whispers, and Magnus has to hug him. He tosses the frame on to the nearest couch and burrows into his arms, clinging on tight.

"It's good to see you."

"Oh, yeah?" Alec says with a smile in his voice, leaning back though holding on to Magnus' upper arms so he can't get too far.

"Yes," Magnus replies, realizing that it does feel better having Alec here with him. It's too soon to be thinking he is the solution to his problems, but Magnus pushes that thought to one side as well, and keeps smiling back at him.

Alec knows something is off, Magnus knows he does. He tries desperately to force his thoughts purely on to Alec and to forget about his father altogether, but his mind just won't switch off. Alec keeps on staring, before wrapping him up in another hug and kissing his shoulder. Magnus sinks into his warmth and closes his eyes, nuzzling into his neck.

"Hey," Alec says then, his shoulders rising as he turns a little, "you bought orchids."

"I did," Magnus agrees as once again Alec pulls back and this time grips him just above the elbows.

"My mom. She likes orchids," Alec adds, taking Magnus' hand as they walk over to the nearest vase full of beautiful pink and purples blooms. "She says they're supposed to be a sign of luxury, or something."

"It's true," Magnus agrees, raising Alec's hand to kiss the back of. "Orchids are also associated with love, virility, and fertility."

"Oh, really," Alec says, smiling as he turns Magnus in his arms.

"Yes. Did you also know that orchids are traditionally a key ingredient in love potions?"

"Are you… planning on keeping these things to use on _me_?"

"I… didn't think that was necessary," Magnus replies, and there must be uncertainty on his face for the way Alec's face falls and he wraps him up in his arms again.

"It isn't. Never," Alec says, pressing kisses repeatedly into his neck. "I'm all yours."

"I know," Magnus says, leaning his head against Alec's. And he does know. But in this moment he feels a little like the ground beneath his feet is shifting, and everything he knows to be true—everything important that he holds on to—feels like it might be snatched from his hands. Which is how he feels _every_ time he has to speak to his dad.

Alec narrows his eyes and leans back to look at him, shaking his head. "What is it?"

"What?"

"That face?"

"What face?"

" _That_ one," Alec insists as he leans in to kiss him. "You've got something on your mind."

"I… it's nothing."

"Which means there is a _something_ ," Alec counters, and raises his hands to cup his face. "Magnus. I thought we could tell each other anything?"

Magnus groans to himself that his own promise has come back to bite him, and allows himself a moment of weakness, dropping his head hard against Alec's shoulder and sagging there. "Perhaps… with a glass of wine, I can tell you."

"Didn't you promise me cocktails when you moved in?" Alec teases, squeezing his waist.

"Once I have found the cocktail table I want, then of course. But for now, wine will have to suffice."

"I'm not complaining," Alec says, following Magnus to the kitchen, and still reaching out to squeeze his sides.

Magnus takes the time needed to open the bottle to think of what he wants to tell Alec, telling himself it's both a big deal, and nothing at all.

"I had a call today," he settles for starting with. "From my father."

"I didn't… I mean, I wasn't all that sure he was still around," Alec says, his voice rising a little in surprise.

"Well, he _is_. But I have as little to do with him as it is possible to," Magnus tells him.

Alec shakes his head. "Why?"

Magnus pauses again, debating how to tell him. He leads Alec back through to the lounge, pacing back and forth for several laps before sinking down on the couch beside him. Alec’s smile for him is patient and understanding, and when he reaches out to take Magnus’ hand, all the words come tumbling out. How his father owns a successful pharmaceutical company that is legal and above board, and a front to hide more illegal medical practices and medicine supply than Magnus can bear thinking about. Knowing that his father willingly sells things that are, at best, placebos, and at worst, might have terrible side-effects because of misguiding ingredients listed, has never sat well with him. Magnus would report him, but has no hard evidence since his father is exceptional at covering up his tracks.

And once those words start they just keep on coming. Revealing that Magnus' father all but tricked his mother into sleeping with him and Magnus being the result of that union. That he spent most of Magnus' childhood telling the young boy he had no place in the world, belonged nowhere and had no one. And that now, as an adult, his father is mostly absent from his life. Only resurfacing from time to time to threaten Magnus' livelihood, and insinuating that it is _him_ who is at fault for their relationship not being what it ought to be.

"So… why have you never mentioned him before?" Alec asks once they're sat together on the couch, the photo of Catarina and Ragnor cradled in his lap so he wouldn't sit on it, and his fingers playing at Magnus' neck.

"I was embarrassed," Magnus says, closing his eyes and leaning into Alec's touch. "I don't want to be associated with such things. And I'm not, really; our worlds are totally different. Yet he continues to have this… hold on me, even though I have done nothing wrong."

"Because he's your dad," Alec replies, leaning in to kiss at his temple. "I think… maybe it's because he's the only family you have now, that it's hard to sever ties altogether. Even if you don't… even if there is no… _relationship_ between the two of you."

"I suppose," Magnus replies, and even he can hear how forlorn his own voice comes out, leaving him feeling silly for it.

Alec clearly disagrees, because he wraps his arms around him and squeezes Magnus in a warm hug, sweeping his hands up his back repeatedly and nuzzling into his neck. "So, let me get this straight. Herbal supplements like the things you sell in The Lucky Cat don't need to be FDA regulated?"

"Oh, they do," Magnus says, sighing, "though they fall under their own category. As a dietary supplement, the rules are… different, than for food, or drugs."

"So. What does that mean?" Alec says, shaking his head.

"Well. For starters, herbal suppliers have to follow good manufacturing practices—for consistency, and quality, things like that—but they don't need to receive approval from the FDA before putting their products on the market."

"So… in theory anyone can sell herbal remedies and stuff?"

"Technically, yes. Though I would hope that most people like myself would do all they can to ensure their products are… legitimate."

"Right."

"Herbal companies are not allowed to say that their products have medical benefits—they can't make a specific medical claim, for instance. But they _can_ claim the products address a certain nutrient deficiency, will support health, or are generally linked to body functions," Magnus adds. "In order to do this, they have to provide supporting research that the products do what intended, but that is all. They provide a disclaimer that the FDA hasn't evaluated the claim, and essentially, that is all that is needed of them."

"So… what's so wrong with the products your father sells?" Alec asks, looking as though he's trying hard to understand.

"Because he has—at least—I suspect that he has, lied about the research. Had inaccurate reports produced, to say that what he is selling will have certain effects."

"Well—"

"And I am almost positive that there are ingredients that he uses in some of these products that, as I said, are either detrimental to health, or have no benefits at all."

"So, he has a legitimate line in FDA-regulated, pharmaceutical medicals, and also has these other… things, in a separate business?" Alec summarizes as he kisses his temple and squeezes Magnus' hand.

"Yes."

"And he wants you to sell these herbal alternatives because… because your business is successful? And by association—"

"I suppose that because every single thing I sell and make I have all the documentation for, as well as the research to show their benefits and effectiveness, means that he thinks his own products will be less suspicious when sold alongside mine."

"Because yours are the best quality, you have a celebrity client list, and people jumping through hoops to buy your stuff?" Alec says, teasing him as he tries to lift Magnus' mood.

"I suppose there is less chance of the FDA suspecting his items are—that perhaps the FDA wouldn't monitor them so closely."

"Well. This all sounds… messy," Alec settles for saying, still playing with his fingers.

"It is. And it isn't. Technically, he has no hold over me for anything. I have no reason to want to remain in contact, and the money he still tries to use against me as a reason for me being able to start my work in the first place, I repaid him long ago. There are no ties between us, but I can't… he still has this... impact on my life. When he shouldn't."

Alec nods, frowning. "You know, Magnus. My dad's not… I can't say I'm all that proud of him either. Not with the way he's treated mom and acted like he didn't really have a choice in… well. What he did. What he's _doing_."

"With the affairs?" Magnus asks, feeling cautious yet also wanting to both know more and share more with Alec.

"And what's happening with their work, yeah," Alec says with a huff as he pulls back a little to look at him. "When we found out about the affairs in the beginning, he… he made it sound like he had no part in it at all, like it _happened_ to him, and he didn't… everything was such a mess. My parents have always been sort of… they aren't, or at least I never remember them being particularly affectionate with one another when I was growing up, but they were solid, you know? A kind of… they were together, and that didn't seem anything that was breakable. Apparently my dad thought differently, though."

"How is your mom with all of this at the moment?" Magnus asks, knowing only the briefest of the latest details of the problems in their law practice.

"Well. I think it's made her stop, and think a little before speaking," Alec replies, and the smile on his face is conflicted. "I think it's made her look at the world around her without the same prejudice she's sometimes had in the past. And that… I wish it hadn't happened like this, but it's… it's sort of been good for her."

Magnus doesn't know what to say to that so just hums in answer, absently playing with Alec's shirt.

"She asks about _you_ now," Alec adds, and there is a hint of blush to his cheeks that Magnus just about resists leaning in to kiss.

"Oh?"

"Well. She _knows_ about you. She's _met_ you. And she… she wanted to know about what you did, and… stuff like that."

"To make sure I am suitable for her son?" Magnus replies with an amused arch to his voice as he leans against Alec.

"I guess," Alec agrees, smiling back as he leans in to kiss him. "Izzy showed her your website when they got back from the university the other night when Izzy was trying to cheer her up; they Googled your store. I think she even tried some of one of your creams, or something."

"And?"

"She _liked_ it."

"That's… good."

"It is," Alec agrees, laughing. "Especially since she's never used anything but the same brands for… all her life. It's kind of a compliment, actually."

"I'll keep that in mind should I ever spend more time with her," Magnus teases, "have some samples to hand to distract her instead of letting her interrogate me."

"So, we go to some restaurant, she starts asking questions, and you start giving advice on facials?" Alec replies, laughing.

"You want us to have dinner?"

Alec's blush brightens a little more, and he ducks to hide his face in Magnus' neck. "She's asking. She's been asking a _lot_. You don't know how many times I've had to convince her not to come into The Lucky Cat to… well. I don't even know what she wanted to do, actually."

"To check that I am _suitable_ ," Magnus says again as he imagines Alec's mother visiting him at work and blanching for it, and it makes Alec frown.

"No, Magnus," he says, adamantly shaking his head. "It's not that at all. It's just they… I've never had anything like this before in my life."

Magnus smiles at the gentle way Alec squeezes his hands and closes his eyes as he kisses him.

"I've never… I've never talked about _anyone_ to my family the way I talk about you," Alec adds. "And it's… new for them. They're excited. They're embarrassing, but they… I think they're happy for me. I know Izzy is, anyway."

"I see," Magnus says, running his hand up Alec's arm.

"You're more than _suitable_ , Magnus," Alec adds, leaning in for another kiss, "you're more than… you're just _more_ , okay?"

"So, you're not worried about my unscrupulous father?" Magnus says, not wanting to ask, but needing the reassurance.

"Magnus," Alec says, smiling as he kisses him again, "I don't care who your father is. Do you care about _mine_?"

"I… care that your parents at least don't hate me—"

"How could anybody _hate_ you?" Alec retorts, shaking his head in denial. "Magnus. You have nothing to worry about. About anything."

Magnus doesn't know what to say to that either, so just cups the back of Alec's neck and draws him in to a kiss. Alec shuffles closer, his hand resting on Magnus' hip, then sneaks a hand beneath his shirt to wrap around his side. Magnus decides that is an invitation to do the same, so sweeps his hands up Alec's hips and slots them beneath his shirt to splay wide on Alec's back.

Alec hums for it, shifting just enough so he can return the gesture, kissing him back a little harder in experimentation, then sucking in a hard, sharp breath as Magnus flicks his tongue against his mouth. When Alec tentatively chases his tongue, Magnus shuffles closer still and nudges until he has Alec on his back against the couch, pausing to pull the photo frame of Catarina and Ragnor from beneath him.

"I like this picture," Alec says, grabbing it before Magnus can lower it to the floor.

"They are both very photogenic," Magnus agrees.

"Did you know I've got you as my wallpaper on my phone?" Alec asks as he drops the frame down on to the carpet. "I'd say you're pretty _photogenic_ yourself."

"I… didn't know,” Magnus says, smiling for the idea of Alec always wanting a picture of him. “And _don't_ know."

"You _do_ ," Alec whispers, grabbing Magnus around the waist and settling him between his legs. Alec arches beneath him, greedy hands already fluttering over Magnus' back before he's sweeping them down to grab his ass, and giving a tiny roll of his hips.

"I feel as though you are trying to distract me," Magnus says as he chases Alec's mouth.

"I might be."

"Then… how do you plan on going about that?"

"Well. We have a perfectly good couch right here," Alec points out, sliding his hands up Magnus' sides and lifting his shirt as he does.

"We do," Magnus agrees, lifting up enough to sweep his hands over Alec's chest, then moving back enough to give him room to take it off as he does the same to his own.

"So. We can… do whatever you want on it."

" _Whatever_ I want?" Magnus asks, teasing, his mind already raising with all sorts of possibilities.

"Yes," Alec says with a curious smile that says he's trying to work out what he might be thinking.

Magnus hums in answer, pressing a hard kiss to Alec's neck before getting up without warning, laughing as Alec sits up in protest and grabs his hand.

"Where—"

"Just give me a moment," Magnus tells him, leaning in for a kiss and squeezing Alec's fingers before pulling back and making his way to his bedroom. He slides open his nightstand drawer, his stomach dropping as his fingers rip a condom from a strip, snatching up the bottle of lube there before slamming the drawer shut.

"Hey," Alec says when he returns, reaching out to grab his hand as he pulls himself upright.

Magnus hums as Alec pulls him between his legs to press a kiss to his stomach and slide his hands up the backs of his thighs. "Hello."

"So. What are you thinking?" Alec asks as he plucks the condom and lube from his fingers, and reaches for his belt buckle.

"I'm thinking," Magnus says, slotting his fingers through Alec's hair as he undoes his fly, "that perhaps I should ride you."

"Here?" Alec says as he smiles up at him, wasting no time in tugging on Magnus' pants so he knows to grip his shoulders while he pulls them down.

"Yes."

Alec smiles a little wider and stands to join him, slipping his hands into the back of Magnus' boxers and squeezing his ass. "Sounds good."

Magnus leans in for a kiss as he unbuttons Alec's jeans, laughing as he quickly rids himself of his remaining clothes. "In a hurry?"

Alec snaps the elastic on Magnus' boxers before sitting and patting his thighs, and when Magnus looks down it's obvious how much Alec _likes_ his idea for how quickly he's already thickening.

Magnus kicks off his boxers and drops one knee on the couch, smiling as Alec grips him around the waist and guides him as he straddles him. Alec's hands are on him before he's even settled, one sweeping over his chest as the other begins to tease over his length.

Watching Alec's hand on him, Magnus reaches out for the lube on the cushion next to them and snaps back the cap. Alec holds out his hand, coating his fingers even as he's reaching behind Magnus to part his cheeks. He's still a little hesitant when he fingers Magnus, constantly monitoring his face so he knows he isn't hurting him. Working his fingers into him slowly even as he tilts his head for a kiss.

"It's good," Magnus says, gripping on to Alec's shoulders as he works him open. Dropping his head forward when Alec experiments with massaging over his prostate.

"Yeah?"

"Yes," Magnus insists, his stomach rippling when Alec finds the pressure that feels best, writhing on his fingers and groaning for each time he scissors them apart. But then Magnus is losing all ability to speak for the way Alec wraps his hands around his cock and starts stroking him in time with the slip of his fingers inside him. Magnus tries to chase both, rolling his hips to follow the blasts of pleasure building in his core.

"We should… how long should we do this?" Alec asks, laughing when Magnus grabs at his wrist to stop him stroking him for beginning to get too close to coming.

"I think I'm good."

"You're sure?"

Magnus opens his eyes to catch how hard Alec is straining and pulsing, precum already beginning to spill from his slit. "You _are_ in a hurry."

"I _am_ ," Alec agrees, sliding his fingers from Magnus and holding him steady when Magnus shuffles forward.

Magnus smiles, reaching for the condom and leaning in for a kiss as he rips open the foil, swallowing Alec's groan as he slides it over his length. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah," Alec says, fingers sweeping over Magnus' ass before he holds him open.

Alec is thick as he spears him open, that solid, hard press into him firing sparks of pain and pleasure through Magnus as he seats himself. The groan that spills from Alec's mouth is indecent. Magnus leans in to taste it, one hand to the back of Alec's head as he squeezes around him getting used to the way he feels.

"You okay?" Alec says, fingers wrapped tight around his waist as though he's trying to keep himself from moving.

Magnus hums in answer, giving a tentative rock in his lap. He circles his hips, savoring that hard, full feeling. Then raises up enough until Alec almost slips from him before sinking back down. He squeezes over Alec's wrist so he knows to ease up on the grip he has on him, kisses Alec when his smile is full of apology, and keeps kissing him as he starts to ride him.

Alec's hands are everywhere. Sliding up over his chest, squeezing his thighs, fingertips teasing over his length. He wraps his arms around Magnus and squeezes tight when a particularly hard roll of his hips leaves him slipping from him, holding himself steady as Magnus slides back down. Then throws his head back and groans out Magnus' name as he flexes around him before beginning to ride him again.

Magnus loses himself in the feel of Alec slipping in and out of him, then angles back and stirs his hips, groaning for the drag of Alec's cockhead over his prostate.

"Just there?" Alec asks, hands sweeping up to grip his hips and shifting a little beneath him when Magnus nods his head.

Magnus groans as Alec's grip tightens and he starts to thrust up into him experimentally, holding Magnus in place just above his lap.

 _"Alec_ ," Magnus calls out, his breath punched from him as Alec grows more confident and starts driving up into him harder. Though Alec's own breath is coming out in sharp blasts, a heavy whine spilling from his lips as he thrusts harder still.

Magnus holds on tight as Alec curses repeatedly, every nudge against his prostate making the heat in Magnus' gut build. Alec groans out desperately, shuddering and pulling Magnus tight against his lap as he comes, leaving Magnus closing his eyes as he tries to concentrate on the feel of him spilling inside of him.

" _Dammit_ ," Alec says with a burst of laughter as he gives a final judder, then hugs Magnus to him with a soft sigh. "I didn't mean to finish so quickly."

"I am in no way complaining," Magnus replies, stirring his hips and determined to keep moving for as long as Alec is still hard enough.

Alec smiles as he does, resting one hand wide on his thigh in claim then wrapping his fingers around his cock, and letting out a soft burst of laughter when Magnus tries to thrust up into them even as he writhes in his lap.

"Now who's in a hurry?" he teases, though starts to work him faster, humming in approval for every noise that spills from Magnus' mouth.

Magnus tries to kiss him, though Alec's hand is moving in all the ways he's already learned he likes. He keeps missing his lips for the groans bursting from his own, that heat in his core getting so intense that Magnus can think of little else. He tries to spread his knees a little further apart on the cushions, losing his balance and only kept upright by Alec's hand.

Alec kisses his cheek when Magnus falls forward and looks down to watch himself slipping through Alec's fingers. His groan is long, and deep as he watches himself spill over Alec's knuckles, dropping his head into Alec's neck with a contented huff as heated pleasure rolls in waves through his core.

"You doing okay?" Alec asks as their breath evens out, wrapping an arm tight around Magnus to pull him close and pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

"Mmhmm," Magnus replies, sleepy with contentment, and sure if he doesn't move immediately he could fall asleep right here in Alec's lap. He hooks his elbows over Alec's shoulders to cross his arms behind his head, leaning in for a kiss until he feels Alec smiling against him.

"Did I… distract you?"

Magnus smiles, nodding as he presses a kiss to his temple. "You did. And perhaps you can distract me a _little_ more by joining me in the shower."

* * *

"So. You were telling me about your dad, but. Magnus, you haven't once mentioned his name," Alec says when they're drying each other after their shower, contented kisses to distract them in between.

Magnus supposes he has a point, since he does his best to avoid talking about him, and even refers to him only as _father_ in his thoughts.

"Well. Part of that is probably due to my not wanting to have anything to do with him."

"Which, I understand," Alec says, kissing him for it, but also looking back at Magnus as though he has all the patience in the world.

"I suppose another part of it though, is that there is very little I trust about him. I don't think I can be totally sure that his name is _truly_ his name."

"You don't have a birth certificate or something?" Alec asks, pausing from hanging up their towels. Magnus doesn't want him to be _concerned_ for him so avoids the look on his face, dragging Alec by the hand to his bedroom with the intention of finding something to wear.

"Alexander, I have almost nothing left of my life before my mother died. No paperwork, few mementos," he says, pulling on a pair of soft grey lounge pants, unable to resist sweeping his hands over Alec's ass as he unzips his bag at the foot of the bed. "It took my _guardian_ quite some time to have documents reproduced for me later, when I needed some kind of identification."

Magnus remembers the resentment in her voice too, as clear and as loud as though it was only yesterday that it happened. He was an inconvenience and a burden, nothing but a drain on her time. Magnus is grateful only that she didn't leave him homeless when his mother died. But there was no affection between them, barely even tolerance when he was growing up. It's still lingering even as he watches Alec dress, glad to see he's chosen to wear as little as possible as well.

"But you're sure he _is_ your dad?" Alec asks, with an apologetic smile for even asking when he turns around.

"Oh, I have no doubt. There are only a few memories I have from before my mother died, but I remember every one of his visits. My mother would be frantic with cleaning and making food, as though we had royalty coming, instead of an absent father and a man who had no intentions of making her his wife."

Magnus knows he sounds bitter but doesn't care. His father had nothing but control over his mother, was only kind when he wanted something. And even then still succeeded in being cruel.

"I'm sorry, Magnus."

"We cannot choose our parentage," Magnus replies, wishing hard at times that he could, nodding towards the doorway so Alec knows to follow him back through to the lounge.

"No, we can't."

"Anyway," Magnus says, clearing his throat as they sit and immediately reaching for his glass of wine. "My father's name is _Asmo_."

"Asmo?" Alec says, raising an eyebrow as they clink their glasses together.

"Yes," Magnus agrees. "It's something of an unusual name."

"I don't think I've ever heard it before."

"No, I wouldn't have expected you to know it. It comes, as I have researched, from both Indonesian and Finnish… lore, I suppose. Meaning _he who dominates the waves_ , or _god is the protector_. Something grand, anyway."

"Well. _Your_ name means—"

"I know, Alexander," Magnus says with a pinched smile. "My father named me. He took great pleasure in telling me both that, and its meaning."

"So. Bane is your… mother's name?"

"No," Magnus smiles, closing his eyes to another assault of memory before he can look at Alec again. "It was a name my guardian gave me that ended up being my legal name. I didn't realize until much later in life that she chose it deliberately, because that was what I was to her."

"Magnus—"

"It was a long time ago now," Magnus says, trying to be dismissive of something that has hurt him so much over the years, yet he still hasn't done anything to change.

"So… your father."

"I don't truly know his surname," Magnus says with a sigh. "None of his businesses use his real name; not that I know of, anyway. And any time he tries to put money into my account, or emails me, he uses the name _Asmodeus_. Either because he thinks he is _godly_ , or—"

"He's an actual Prince of Hell," Alec finishes for him, looking torn between being horrified and amused.

"At times, I think he just might be," Magnus replies, groaning and closing his eyes.

"Magnus. Hey. Your father—"

Alec is cut off by the intercom buzzing, leaving Magnus looking back at him in surprise. "Are you expecting anybody?"

"I… didn't give many people my address."

Alec kisses him and pulls Magnus to his feet, going with him as they walk together to the intercom to see who is waiting to be let in. Magnus wonders if Alec's thoughts are going to the same place as his own, fearing his father might have found him and is now about to ruin his life in person. Then sags in relief when he hears Raphael's voice.

Magnus watches Alec straighten his shoulders and tense a little as they wait for Raphael to come up, placating him with a kiss to the shoulder and a wink when he looks.

"I brought you a gift," Raphael says without preamble the moment Magnus swings open the door. Raphael is carrying a tall glass cocktail table that apparently weighs a ton for the way he is grimacing.

"Raphael—"

"Ordered the wrong size table for the bar," Raphael adds as he nudges for Magnus to step back and let him in. "Where do you want it?"

"Uh. Here," Magnus says, pointing to where actually, the table fits perfectly, and is exactly what he would have chosen for himself. "Thank you, Raphael, it's—"

"I can't stay," Raphael says as he tilts his head to observe the table and straightens it up. "On my way in. I just… wanted you to have this."

"Thank you—"

"And to make sure I have an invite to this _housewarming_ you're eventually having," Raphael adds, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm hurt that you would even feel the need to ask," Magnus says, putting a hand on his chest.

"Alec," Raphael says belatedly with a nod for him that Alec returns, with just as much suspicion as Raphael is giving _him_.

"I'll… let you know when I am settled in and have arranged something," Magnus tells him, clasping Raphael's hand in passing.

"I'll leave you to it," Raphael says with a glance darted between them before making his way back out without another word.

Magnus stares at the door after him as Alec comes to stand by his side, leaning when Alec rests a hand around his waist.

"Well. That was… it's a nice table," Alec says after a couple of attempts at trying to talk.

"It is," Magnus agrees, knowing without a doubt that this was no accidental purchase by Raphael. Raphael had seen him looking through a page of cocktail tables when he'd visited him recently at the bar. Had even commented on a couple of those he was considering to dismiss them as being too opulent, or gaudy.

"How about we go down to that liquor store near The Lucky Cat," Alec says, turning Magnus in his arms and gripping him around the waist. "Then you can make me some of these margaritas you keep telling me about."

Magnus hums in answer, liking the idea of an evening with Alec accompanied by cocktails already. He sweeps his hands up Alec's arms and squeezes as he nods, leaning in for a kiss.

* * *

 


	15. Chapter 15

Magnus wakes with a start and jumps up from the bed, his heart thudding for thinking he is late to get to the store. He gets as far as the bedroom doorway before it hits him that he doesn't need to go anywhere today and drops his head against the doorframe with a huff. Magnus laughs at himself, pressing a hand over his racing heart before going to check the time on his phone, and throwing himself back down on the bed when he realizes how early it is. Getting comfortable as he starts to check through his messages, though unable to resist first smiling at the picture of Alec staring back at him from his home screen.

From this morning, The Lucky Cat is in the very capable hands of Dot, who from the looks of the messages she's already sent him was awake at the crack of dawn, excitedly getting things ready for her first proper day. Magnus presses his head back in his pillows and answers her few questions, then scrolls through his messages to open the one from Alec. Alec's day does not seem to be starting out all that well. He spent last night at his parents after yet another argument between them and Alec all but calling a _family meeting_ to put things right. Magnus smiles for the thought of Alec being peacemaker though wishes it wasn't necessary. In all the time he's known Alec, Magnus has been given a glimpse into family life that makes him glad he _doesn't_ have a family to have to deal with. Aside from his father, of course, Magnus thinks, grimacing at the thought of his dad.

He hasn't contacted him since that last call. No more attempted transfers of money, no bumping into him on the street. It doesn't mean that Magnus doesn't step out of his apartment building each day wondering if this will be the day his father finds him, or that he doesn't hold his breath every time he sees a number on his phone he doesn't recognize. Nor does it mean his father's voice doesn't play on repeat on his mind sometimes, taunting him with all the cruel things he's ever said.

Magnus berates himself constantly for being so dramatic about his father, telling himself over and over again that there is nothing for him to be concerned about. Yet that niggling doubt in the back of his head just won't keep quiet. He hates that he's even let his father into his thoughts this morning, and sinks further down the bed to avoid them. Grabbing his phone from where he's tossed it to his side, Magnus thinks of Alec and tries to find some words to placate him, inviting him over to have dinner tonight. He hopes he'll stay, smiling at the idea of waking up beside Alec in the morning, then forces himself out of bed and demands that he stop being so sentimental. Though can't resist checking his phone one final time to see Alec smiling up at him from the screen.

Magnus makes himself breakfast, checking through his schedule for what he needs to do today before deciding on where to start. There is a moment when he wants to throw himself down on the couch and do nothing but read, forget anything else he should be doing. But Magnus reminds himself he can't get into any reclusive routines, so makes a pot of tea and goes through to his apothecary to prepare the products he needs.

He messages Alec intermittently, can tell from his answers that he's either exhausted from his evening with his family, or has enough things going on at work to occupy his mind. Magnus' offer to bring him something for lunch is rejected, which Magnus tells himself not to read into. Though he makes himself go out anyway, both for some fresh air and to get his own lunch.

By mid-afternoon Magnus is grumbling to himself for running out of burdock root before his next batch is due, a quick glance at his shelves proving he's let far too many of his supplies of raw ingredients run down. And once he's ordered more he decides to overhaul his ordering system, working out an itinerary for what is due over the next week and when to compare with what products he needs to make, then planning on cataloging everything he currently has so he won't run out again.

Magnus perches on the edge of his desk when he takes a break, smiling at his apothecary as he glances around it and feeling more sure than ever that moving here was a good decision. He's already been more productive today than he would have been working at the store. In fact, Magnus thinks, when the intercom buzzes and he smiles for the thought of Alec, he's got enough work done today to mean he has his entire evening free to spend with Alec however he wants.

Alec is agitated. It's in everything from the tension of his kiss when Magnus welcomes him in, to the way his words aren't coming out right when they sit together on the couch. Magnus tries to talk around it, to do all he can so that he doesn't pry. But with the tension in the air as he prepares them dinner, and the way Alec pushes more food around his plate than actually eats any of it, leaves Magnus at a loss for what to do for the best.

"Hey," he says after debating doing anything to fill the silence for the last few minutes, tentatively wrapping his hand around Alec's thigh. He tells himself not to overreact for the way Alec flinches as though his touch has burned him, and pastes a smile on his face when Alec looks him in the eye. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"Talk about whatever it is that's put you in this _mood_?"

Magnus doesn't mean to snap, nor does he know what to do with the scowl he receives in return.

"Sorry."

"It's okay, Alec—"

"Clearly it's not _okay_ if you think I'm in a _mood_."

This is not _his_ Alec. They may not have been together all that long, but Magnus knows him well enough to know this isn't _him_. He can't help if Alec won't talk to him, won't share what it is that's wrong. And though Magnus won't sit here letting Alec snap at him for no reason, he is desperate for them to not have a first fight. Or _any_ fight.

"I'm sorry—"

"No."

Magnus looks down at the fingers now gripping between his own where he's withdrawn them into his own lap as Alec squeezes them, not sure he wants to look up.

"No," Alec says again, a little softer, "it's me. _I'm_ sorry. I should've canceled coming here tonight when I'm feeling like… _this_."

Magnus nods not knowing how else to respond, hoping that Alec will find his way to talk.

"It was a really rough day yesterday with my parents," Alec says, absently picking up Magnus' hand again to play with his fingers.

"I assumed so, for you needing to stay the night."

"Yeah, well. Just seemed easier than going home at almost two in the morning, when Izzy's in tears, and Mom and Dad have barely got voices left for screaming at each other all night."

"Oh, Alec."

"They're getting to some… crucial point in the divorce agreement, and it… I was right, Magnus. All those files I kept thinking were suspicious that Mom was finding? That laptop Izzy told us about over dinner that time? Turns out my Dad _has_ been keeping more secrets than just these _affairs_."

Magnus watches the way Alec spits his words out and doesn't know whether he should urge him to continue or not. "Okay."

"Turns out," Alec adds, bitterness seeping through his words, "he's taken on some… unscrupulous clients behind Mom's back that… let's just say they could tarnish the precious _Lightwood_ name. Or worse."

"I suppose the idea of dividing up a company in a divorce—"

"Was complicated enough before all _this_ ," Alec finishes for him, that bitterness turning into quiet fury. "And now, all their clients need to be looked into, to make sure they're all legitimate. And… I thought they were _getting_ somewhere, you know? But it's like we're right back at the beginning yet again. Only this time, it's so much worse."

Magnus wants to help. But he hasn't even got a clue where he might start. Yet from the stiffness of Alec sat beside him he's fairly sure he's not going to be much help at all.

"I'm—"

"Magnus," Alec says, turning and cutting him off, dropping his hand against his leg only to cup his face and lean forward, dropping their foreheads together with a deep sigh. "I shouldn't have come here. It's not fair to take this out on you."

"Well—"

"I'm gonna go," Alec adds with a single hard kiss before he's standing, and already turning away.

Magnus doesn't know what to do. He doesn't want to try to stop him, yet he also wishes Alec wouldn't leave. So he stands, follows, watches Alec shrug back into his jacket, and waits by the door to see what he will do. Wondering if he's going to say anything else to him at all. He echoes the fractured smile Alec eventually turns on him, squeezing his hand when he holds it out.

"If you want to talk—"

"It's fine, Magnus. Really. My family is a _mess_."

"But if—"

"It's _fine_ ," Alec repeats with a blasted out sigh, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. "I'm… sorry about all this."

Magnus nods, not wanting to tell him it's okay again for fearing the same reaction as before. "Well. Perhaps let me know that you're okay or—"

"I'll call you," Alec agrees, squeezing his fingers for a final time before withdrawing them. And with that he's turning the handle of Magnus' apartment door, leaving him with the irrational feeling that he's never going to see Alec again.

* * *

Magnus stares up at his bedroom ceiling, scowling when his alarm goes off announcing he should start his day. There are three meetings he needs to attend this morning, and when he gets back this afternoon there are several orders he needs to fill. Even if they aren't due to be delivered for a few days yet. Even if he's only keeping himself insanely busy to stop himself from thinking of Alec.

He hasn't slept. His phone taunting him with every notification that isn't one from Alec, leaving him tossing and turning all through the night. One minute he's furious at Alec for shutting him out like he has, then cursing at _himself_ for getting involved, for caring too much, for ever letting himself want and care about Alec like he does.

" _Overdramatic fool_ ," Magnus curses out loud to himself, throwing back the comforter and forcing himself out of bed. This is nothing but a family problem Alec has to deal with, and no reflection on anything between _them_. He can't know how difficult it must be to be stuck in the middle of all of this since he has never had a family to cause him so much trouble. And while he is grateful for that, Magnus also has no clue how to deal with this.

Magnus is too tense for the tai chi he tries to put himself through, forcing himself outside for a brisk walk instead. After he's returned with a treat for breakfast, taken his time in the shower, and been through three changes of clothes until he isn't grimacing at what he's wearing, Magnus allows himself to pick up his phone.

_"Magnus. I'm so sorry about last night."_

Magnus holds his breath as he reads the preview of Alec's message, once again berating himself for overthinking like he does. He slides his thumb over the screen, takes a sip of coffee, then forces himself to read.

_"I didn't mean to take it out on you. I didn't get the time to think about any of the fights my parents had yesterday, and I was stuck in my own head. So please, don't be too mad at me? Can you come to mine tonight? Stay? I'll cook that pasta thing you like so much. Please? I'll talk about whatever you want; please don't think I'm trying to shut you out."_

Alec's message is followed by a string of emojis and kisses, and Magnus can't help smiling at the pictures that accompany them. Kitten after fluffy kitten until Magnus' mood has lifted so much that his impending sense of doom no longer stands a chance.

 _"I'd love to,"_ Magnus writes back immediately, already mentally packing a bag. He tells himself he shouldn't accept this apology so easily, then tells himself he must. Then tries his best to push away all thoughts of Alec and concentrate only on his day ahead.

* * *

"I am so sorry."

Magnus lets out an  _oof_ for the suddenness of Alec grabbing him to him the second he opens his door, closing his eyes as he presses his face into Alec's shoulder and sagging into his arms. "It's okay."

"It's not. I shouldn't have been so… grumpy," Alec replies, wrapping him up tight.

"Well. You had a lot on your mind."

"Still," Alec says, holding him at arm's length and staring at Magnus in contrition. "I should've… I normally work this kind of stuff out on a punchbag, or training, or something. But I had no time yesterday, and I wanted to see you, and it… I should've waited. Said I would see you today instead."

"It's okay, Alec," Magnus says again, squeezing his hips, smiling as Alec cups his face and draws him into a kiss, then going as guided when Alec kicks the door closed behind him.

"It isn't," Alec says in between kisses, "don't let me get grumpy like that again. Or at least… call me out on it if I do. Okay? Not that I'm… planning on _getting_ grumpy again. But if—"

" _Alec_ ," Magnus says, laughing, unable to stop smiling when Alec wraps him up in another hug.

"You're staying, right?" Alec says as he plucks at the bag still on Magnus' shoulder.

"Of course."

"Good," Alec tells him, tugging the bag from his shoulder and taking Magnus' hand, not letting go as he first leads him through to the bedroom to drop the bag on the bed and then into the kitchen, grabbing him by the hips to pick him up to sit on a counter. Magnus doesn't know when he last laughed this easy, or how he's laughing so easily now, when this time yesterday he'd convinced himself the entire world was crashing down around him.

"Hello," Magnus says, resting his forearms over Alec's shoulders and kissing him again, smiling as he slots between his knees.

"I thought," Alec says, sweepings his hands up over his thighs, "maybe we could have dinner here, then go to the Hunters' Moon for a drink."

"Sounds good."

"I'm… sure they don't make cocktails like yours," Alec adds, wrinkling up his face.

Magnus hums in sympathy pressing a kiss to Alec's temple for the hangover he'd woken up with after Magnus made him cocktails at his. "Well. Perhaps not as _strong_."

"Not that I was complaining—"

Magnus sweeps hair back from Alec's forehead interrupting him, shaking his head, and leaning in for another kiss.

"So," Magnus says when they've pulled apart, and Alec has pressed a glass of wine in his hand asking him to just sit there and watch. "Do you… want to talk about what is happening with your parents?"

"Not really," Alec says with a sigh as he stirs a pan at the stove. "But I guess I should."

"You don't—"

"Just so you know what's going on," Alec adds, coming back to kiss him again. Magnus nods, squeezes his fingers before he gets too far, then watches as Alec moves around the kitchen preparing their dinner. "Essentially, they need to divide up everything. Home. Savings. Possessions. All that stuff."

"And the business," Magnus says, sipping at his wine.

"And the business," Alec agrees, nodding over his shoulder. "The thing is, that was going to be complicated anyway. I don't know what they were trying to agree, because they never really talked to Izzy and me about that. It was more… Magnus, it's been nothing but them blaming each other and yelling for months."

"That sounds… awful."

"It is. And it's… I'm just glad that Max—and _Jace_ —aren't here to see this all happening."

"Though _I_ wish you were not dealing with it all by yourself."

"I have Izzy," Alec says with a resigned shrug. "We're trying to deal with it, but. I'm… I guess because I'm the eldest—"

"You are the one most of the burden falls to," Magnus finishes for him as he jumps down and comes to stand behind Alec, wrapping his arms around his waist.

"Yeah," Alec agrees, leaning back against him as he squeezes a hand around Magnus' forearm.

"Does your father have… is he still not taking responsibility for all that has happened?" Magnus asks with a kiss to his shoulder.

"He… well. He kind of _has_ to now. It's gotten so _big_. Both of them are taking _legal advice_ from friends, other lawyers they know, for what to do for the best. He looks… I saw him at lunch today, and he just looks… _old_ , Magnus. Defeated."

"It… must be hard," Magnus says, squeezing Alec, knowing he has a difficult relationship with his dad.

"I could… I always looked up to my dad, you know? Worked hard, got the best grades, never did anything I shouldn't have."

Magnus hums against his shoulder, not wanting to interrupt him but needing Alec to know he is listening.

"Izzy and Jace were out getting up to all kinds of stuff and I just… kept working. _Behaving_. Being the dutiful son. And for what? It was never good enough— _I_ was never good enough—"

"Alec—"

"But it turns out after all this time that… Magnus. I've done everything they've ever asked of me. Hid… so much about myself, because I didn't wanna step out of line, or… I don't know. Let them down, I guess. And for what? My parents—my _dad_ —is no one to look up to. Not after this. Not after everything."

"I'm… so sorry about your father," Magnus says, not knowing what else he can say.

Alec nods in reply, closing his eyes, before turning then leaning in for a soft kiss. "Yeah, me too."

"I might know a thing or two about fathers not living up to your expectations," Magnus adds, earning himself a huff in agreement.

Alec nudges Magnus back and nods towards the plates waiting on the side. "This is ready now."

"It looks good. I'm starving."

"I didn't get to eat all that much today," Alec says as he begins to dish up their food. "I had lunch with Dad but… I couldn't really eat anything."

"That's understandable," Magnus says as he takes cutlery and glasses through to the dining room table.

"I guess. Do you… so that's basically where we are now. The whole divorce and business is in chaos, everyone is angry and yelling, and… it's just _hell."_

"We don't have to talk about it anymore if you don't want to," Magnus says, squeezing Alec's hand before scooping up a forkful of food. "And this smells as delicious as it always does."

"I'm glad you like it," Alec says with a small proud smile.

They eat in silence for a few mouthfuls before catching each other up on their days. Magnus can tell Alec has something he wants to ask him from the way his eyes keep darting away every time they make eye contact. He wonders what else there is going on in the Lightwood family to put such sadness on his face.

"Have you… heard from your dad again?" Alec blurts out, hiding his discomfort for asking behind a sip of his wine.

"I haven't," Magnus is glad to tell him, though tenses for further questions from Alec about him.

"So. What happened to… why are you so sure your dad's been doing stuff that's illegal? I mean," Alec says as he quickly reaches out to grab his hand, "of course, I believe you. But I don't… I'm just trying to understand."

Magnus' instinct is to shut Alec out, to shut down this conversation and do everything he can to avoid speaking about _him_. But Alec is here with him, sharing his own family woes even though this is obviously hard for him. Magnus tells himself to not be selfish and to open up a little. To trust.

"It was only a brief meeting," Magnus says, recalling the _tour_ his father had arranged of one of his offices when he still had a base here in New York. "I don't know whether he left the documents on the desk deliberately so that I would look, or his _arrogance_ assumed… I don't know, Alexander. I have no idea what to make of any of my father's actions anymore."

"Documents?"

"They were… well, I can only assume what they were, really, because I only had a quick glance, and some of them weren't even in English. But there were stock inventories of ingredients we aren't allowed to import into the country, let alone use in any herbal treatments. It looked very much as though he was trying to get rid of some stock, some… as though he had some products he was trying to get out of China, that he was trying to sell elsewhere."

"You think he had some licenses revoked in China? Or any of these other countries you think he's trading in?" Alec asks. "For… unregulated herbal medicines?"

"Some herbal medicines with their origins in China are believed to be toxic," Magnus says, sighing. "Full of heavy metals like lead, or cadmium. In some cases, ingredients thought to cause liver and kidney disease have at times shown up in toxicity reports on herbal remedies. Even ingredients made from rare and endangered animals have been found in… all sort of things."

"Right. But that's in China, right?"

"It is," Magnus agrees, "and typically, the very worst of these things are regulated before they ever stand a chance of getting in the country. Here. Though that is not to say that illegal herbs don't come from anywhere else in the world, because they do."

"So. These letters, documents—whatever it is you saw at your dad's office?"

"They were delivery notes, invoices, receipts, and so on, documenting imported goods. In this case, herbs. Several of which have long been banned for sale or use here. And, I suspect, in other countries as well."

"But if they're regulated—"

"Clearly, there are ways of getting these things in anyway. I only got a glimpse, but… even a small amount of these products could be dangerous, or toxic, or… damaging. In any number of ways."

"And you… how come you didn't report it?" Alec asks, with an apologetic smile when Magnus looks at him.

It's a good question. Magnus wonders if that would have solved all of his problems. Reporting his father the moment he suspected him of any wrongdoing, instead of having his idle threats hanging over his head like they do.

"Because… I don't really know why," Magnus says, since he doesn't have a good reason.

"Because he's your dad?" Alec suggests as he reaches out to squeeze his hand.

"Perhaps. Perhaps for many reasons. Because the business name of these products were names that I didn't recognize. This was before I knew the names of the business my father controls, or where he has them in the world; I only had suspicions. I have only learned of them in recent years, and even then, I am not sure if I know all of them."

Magnus doesn't feel like he's making sense. He gets so stressed thinking of anything to do with his father that all the things he means to say get mixed up when he tries to get them out.

"Even so. Wouldn't it have just been easier to report him?"

Magnus closes his eyes and nods, hearing how awful his own excuses are for not doing just that, and wondering why he's still telling them to himself.

"Probably, yes. To this day, I wish I had done at the time. I kept consoling myself that these were business that weren't trading here in America. That… I had no control over what he might be doing elsewhere."

"Then… why did he even have the documentation here?"

"I don't know, Alec," Magnus says, telling his voice not to rise in frustration. "I don't know anything. I just… I should have done, or said something. But I didn't. And now, I have to live with the consequences."

"Magnus—"

"No. I—hundreds, possibly thousands of herbal suppliers across America sell supplements that are ineffective, or just dangerous. I have worked hard to ensure that I never do the same. I thought that by not helping him sell his products here in America through my business or store, that I was doing enough to prevent him causing any harm."

"Wait. So he's… never sold _any_ of this stuff here in America?"

"Not through me he hasn't. Only his legal pharmaceuticals. Of course, this is all only to my awareness. I would be naive to assume he hasn't tried to sell them elsewhere."

Alec nods, looks thoughtful as though he's trying to process Magnus' words, then leans in to kiss him again. "Well. There's nothing we can do about our dads right now."

"No," Magnus agrees, relieved for the chance to change the subject, "there isn't."

"But Magnus. You aren't responsible for your father," Alec adds as he raises Magnus' hand to kiss his knuckles.

"I could say the same to you about your family situation."

Alec groans, dropping his head down on their joined hands and sighing. "Yeah. I know."

Magnus plays with Alec's hair until he sits back up and smiles, leaning into his hand until he pulls it away.

"Do you want some more of this?" Alec asks, nodding towards his plate.

"I do."

"Good," Alec says, pleased as he stands up, leaning over Magnus to kiss him before taking their plates through to the kitchen to refill. Leaving Magnus to go over his own words and question his relationship with his father yet again.

* * *

"So tell me about Dot," Alec says when they're tucked up in a corner of the Hunter's Moon after a particularly competitive game of pool, turned to one another indulging in kisses and touches, and gladly shutting out the rest of the world.

"Dot?"

"Yes," Alec says, sweeping his fingers over Magnus' thigh. "I mean. I met her when we moved your stuff, but not really enough to speak to. She's the only one coming to your housewarming I won't have spent much time with."

Magnus nods, taking Alec's hand and playing with his fingers, still not over the novelty of Alec being so affectionate in public with him even after all this time. "I've known her for a while. Almost as long as Catarina and Ragnor."

"And they're… also friends? With each other?"

"They are," Magnus agrees, considering the question. "They're just not as close as they might have been. I blame myself."

"Why?" Alec asks, squeezing his hand, and when Magnus looks at him ducks in for a kiss.

"Well. I lost contact with Dot during my… _relationship_ with Camille," Magnus says, holding Alec's eye contact. "They only knew each other through me. It must have been difficult for all those around them to see how… awful things were, and not being able to do anything about it."

"I'm sorry."

"In any case," Magnus says, turning a little more into Alec and ducking beneath his arm when he throws it around his shoulders, "Dot and I reconnected a few months after I moved in with Catarina after she'd convinced me to leave the apartment I used to share with Camille."

"That's good? I mean. I'm glad you didn't lose her friendship after… _that_."

Magnus kisses Alec, tucking his fingers into his side as he leans into him, smiling as Alec's hand lifts to play with the back of his hair. That Alec is so unfazed by any mention of his past, shows no discomfort or uncertainty about it, Magnus still thinks is too good to be true. He doesn't ever want to keep talking about those who have come before him, but neither does he want to have to hide those who have shared his past. So any time there is a need for him to mention something, or someone, Magnus braces fearing the worst from Alec's reaction.

"It is good," Magnus agrees, smiling at memories that rise to the surface for him. "The first time we met after all that time of losing contact, Dot insisted we go out. We drank, danced, laughed… she tried to _kiss_ me at one point."

"Oh, yeah?" Alec says, with a teasing smile as he cups the back of Magnus' head and kisses him hard, as though staking his claim. Which Magnus likes a _lot_.

"Yes," Magnus says, curling his fingers into Alec's shirt.

"So. What does she do? Or, what _did_ she do, before taking over The Lucky Cat?"

"Numerous things," Magnus replies. "She was helping out in another, similar store before mine. She spent some time in an antique store, and other, similar places. I think she enjoys the atmosphere with customers on a one to one basis more than anything else."

"So she's… does she have the same qualifications as you?"

"Some. Though not so many; Dot prefers to advise, and listen, rather than make remedies for people."

"And she's… liking being in The Lucky Cat?" Alec asks, innocent as though his fingers aren't one minute creeping beneath Magnus' shirt, or his thumb isn't discreetly tracing out the shape of him through his pants the next.

Magnus fights to keep from grinning for it, which only makes Alec smile harder. "She is, yes. She is enjoying the… autonomy, I suppose."

"And she likes the apartment?" Alec adds, with a quick glance around them before he's trailing his thumb along Magnus' inner thigh trying to nudge them apart.

"She does," Magnus agrees, torn between stopping Alec or encouraging him. "I haven't yet been to see what changes she has made, but, she says she likes it."

"I have some happy memories of that place," Alec tells him, cradling Magnus' face to draw him into a kiss, the look in his eyes firing heat through Magnus' core for whatever it is he's remembering.

"So do I."

Alec's hand is curled warm around his shoulder, his thumb repeatedly stroking over his cheek as they kiss. Magnus sighs as he leans even more into Alec, splaying his hand wide at his hip beneath his shirt.

Alec hums against him, the heat of his body against Magnus' full of promise for when they get back to his later tonight. Even his eyes dance with want in the few seconds they pull back from one another, before Alec is leaning in to kiss him again.

"You left your jacket by the pool table."

Magnus freezes, feeling Alec's lips curl up into a smile against his own. He casually squeezes his shoulder as though unconcerned that they have company before turning just a fraction so they can both look up at the barmaid smirking at them.

"Thanks, Maia," Alec says, grabbing the jacket as Maia tosses it towards him.

"No problem," she says, grinning between them both. "I'd say, introduce me to your _friend_ —"

"This is Magnus," Alec says immediately, squeezing him again. "Magnus. You know Maia, right?"

"I do," Magnus says, smiling up at the barmaid who has served him so many times here in the Hunters Moon. "I apologize that I didn't learn your name before."

"Didn't know yours either," Maia says with an easy shrug. "Seen you around enough, though."

"You're studying… marine biology?" Magnus asks, remembering the textbooks open at the bar one of the last times he'd been here before meeting Alec.

Maia beams at him. "I am. See, Alec? Some people pay _attention_."

"Studying at _my_ university," Alec adds as he drains the last of his beer.

"How is it only ever _your_ university when it's a good thing, and only ever your _faculty_ when it's not?" Maia retorts in tease. "Like nothing bad is ever anything to do with _you_?"

Alec retorts with the most un-Alec-like screwing up of his face Magnus has ever seen from him and throws his head back laughing for it, bumping it against Alec's arm.

"I'd ask what you're doing with _Lightwood_ here, but that's fairly obvious," Maia adds with another teasing glance for them both that makes Magnus want to hide.

"We were just—"

"All over each other by the pool table. And the bar. And now here in this corner," Maia finishes for him with a raised eyebrow daring Alec to argue. "You think the rest of us don't have eyes?"

"Apologies," Magnus says, ducking and preparing to move, though doesn't go anywhere for the carefree way Alec squeezes his shoulder telling him to stay where he is.

Maia bursts out laughing, turning and nodding towards a booth behind them, where another couple is so engrossed in one another that one of them is half-draped across the other's lap. "Seems like tonight is the night for getting _amorous_. I might have to hose some of you guys down."

"Is that _jealousy_ , Maia?" Alec retorts.

"What I do in my private life is none of your concern."

"Uh huh," Alec says, smirking up at her, leaving Magnus with the impression there is something he isn't being told.

"Anyway," Maia says with a glance over her shoulder towards the bar, "I'll leave you two lovebirds alone."

Magnus waves goodbye as Alec pretends to salute her, smiling at the kiss to his temple. "How do you know Maia? From here?"

"From here. Through Izzy. And Clary; I think the three of them sometimes go out for drinks."

"Oh?" Magnus says, knowing there is more to the story for the amusement dancing in Alec's eyes.

"I… think she used to date Simon at one point."

Magnus smiles, storing the information up for something else to tease Simon with when he next sees him. "Really."

"Really."

"Perhaps we should invite her to this housewarming on Friday," Magnus suggests, wondering what Simon's reaction might be with Maia and Izzy in the same room.

"It's your housewarming," Alec says, grinning as though he's thinking exactly the same as Magnus. "Might be fun to watch Simon squirm."

"That would be cruel."

"Maybe. But I think she works all weekend anyway," Alec says as shrugs.

"So. Anything else you want to share about Maia?" Magnus asks, knowing from the smirk on his face that there is more to come.

"Well," Alec says, with a glance towards the bar which Magnus thinks is to make sure Maia is busy, "she had a _thing_ with Jace before Clary came along. So, a long, long time ago."

"A _thing_?"

"A… one time thing," Alec tells him, laughing, "right here. Well. Out the back, anyway. Izzy didn't stop teasing Jace about it for _months_ when we found out."

"I see."

"If it… wasn't raining, maybe I'd show you where," Alec adds, lowering his voice and mumbling in his ear at the exact pitch to make Magnus shiver.

Magnus pictures the red lanterns overhead in the alley, the light glinting up from the rain-soaked floor, and imagines Alec backing him up against a wall. Or doing the same to him. He swallows hard for it, shifting a little and catching Alec's eye as he slides his hand up over his thigh. "I… would not object."

"I'll remember that," Alec tells him with a nuzzle against his ear. "But maybe we can just… get a taxi. Go home instead."

Magnus smiles, sweeping his hand down over Alec's chest to rest on his stomach. "That sounds like an excellent idea."

* * *

"...I think you broke me."

Magnus snorts into his pillow, lifting his head up just enough to catch the blissed-out exhausted expression on Alec's face, before rolling over on to his back. He doesn't answer, only reaches out to squeeze his hand around Alec's thigh, closing his eyes as he gets his breath back.

"When's everyone arriving?" Alec asks, slapping the back of his hand against Magnus' chest as though he has no intention of moving, no matter what time Magnus says.

"We have a little time."

" _Good_ ," Alec groans, though it turns into a huff of laughter when Magnus raises his hand up to kiss the back of, before forcing himself from the bed before he falls asleep. "No moving."

"I think we can rest for at least a while," Magnus agrees, cataloging the pleasant ache in his limbs and the residual pleasured heat still stirring in his core as he makes his way towards the bathroom for a towel.

"Hours," Alec replies, smiling when Magnus walks back in. He lifts his head only enough to watch Magnus wipe him down, humming in approval when Magnus ducks to press a kiss over his hole, then his sac.

"Well," Magnus says as he kisses along his length and smiles against it when Alec shudders for the lap of his tongue he darts out over his head. "Perhaps not _hours_. Though if we set an alarm we can sleep for a little while if you want."

"Come here."

Magnus looks up from pressing kisses over Alec's stomach now that he's wiped him over and thrown the towel behind him on the floor. Alec's arms are wide open in invitation, and Magnus can't resist nuzzling into the hair on his chest before he rests his head there, closing his eyes as Alec wraps him up in his arms.

"Can I stay tonight?"

"I… assumed you would anyway," Magnus says, lifting his head so he can rest his chin against Alec's chest and smiling when he looks at him.

"With the storm?"

"No. Just because you want to," Magnus replies, hoping he doesn't sound too presumptuous, or that his hopes of waking up to a lazy morning with Alec here in his bed aren't about to be dashed.

"I _do_ want to," Alec says, leaning up just enough so Magnus knows he wants to kiss him, then nudging for him to lay back down.

Magnus turns to press his face into Alec's chest, smiling as his fingertips trail absent paths over his shoulders and through the back of his hair. He closes his eyes, concentrating only on the tenderness he is showing him and the beating of his heart beneath his ear.

"Besides," Alec says, after a while, "I'm gonna need breakfast in the morning. Like… _real_ breakfast. Egg. Bacon. Sausage."

"Oh?" Magnus says, pressing a smile into his chest before lifting his head to look at him again.

"You _broke_ me," Alec said, lifting his arms to pathetically let them fall back against the bed. "I think I earned breakfast. Look. I can't _move_."

Magnus laughs as Alec gives a half-hearted shudder beneath him, bracing himself on his hands to lean over him. "I can kiss it better."

" _Everywhere_ ," Alec insists, fingers through the back of Magnus' hair as he first kisses over his shoulders, then works his way back down his chest.

"Everywhere?"

" _Yes_ ," Alec says, humming for the kisses over his hips and down his thighs, then snorting and jolting for the kisses to the backs of his knees.

"And this means… you need _breakfast_?" Magnus asks as he urges Alec to roll over on his front so he can continue his kisses over his back.

"Well. _Magnus_. I _always_ need breakfast. I'm just gonna need… _extra_ breakfast tomorrow."

"I do intend on feeding you before then," Magnus replies, hiding his laughter in Alec's side for his disgruntled wriggle when he pretends to bite his ass.

"Still. _Breakfast_."

"Of course," Magnus says with a kiss to the small of his back, sitting back quickly as Alec yelps when he tickles his sides. Alec kneels up quickly and tackles him to the bed, pinning him there with the weight of his chest and beaming down at him in triumph. "I thought you were _aching_?"

"Oh. I am," Alec assures him.

"Then, how are you going to survive this housewarming this evening?" Magnus asks, squeezing Alec's waist as he braces above him.

"Cocktails. Good company. And the promise of _bacon_."

"Well. Okay, Alec."

"Are you promising me bacon?" Alec asks, nosing Magnus' jaw to one side so he can mouth up his neck.

"I… am promising you bacon," Magnus replies, helplessly smiling back at Alec when he looks at him.

"Good," Alec replies, dropping suddenly to his side and pulling Magnus to him in a tight hug.

"Do you want to sleep a while?" Magnus asks when Alec pulls back to settle on his pillow, reaching up to push the hair away from his forehead.

"Mmhmm," Alec says, sighing as he takes Magnus' hand, then whining in protest when Magnus rolls over to reach for his phone.

"Just to set an alarm."

"Two hours."

"They will be arriving in about three."

"Then… two and _half_ hours," Alec amends, smiling to himself.

"An hour."

"Hour and a half," Alec tells him, wriggling in protest until Magnus relents.

"Fine. An hour and a half. But that means we will need to have very quick showers."

"Or share one," Alec suggests, pulling Magnus close again once he's returned his phone to his nightstand.

"That… might take longer."

"Only if you don't behave yourself."

"Me?" Magnus asks, pretending to be wounded.

" _Magnus_ ," Alec says, sighing it out as he closes his eyes, rolling back until Magnus is on his chest again.

Magnus watches as Alec makes himself comfortable, decides his boyfriend is the most adorable when he is half-asleep and silly, then drops his head down ready to sleep himself.

* * *

"He's good with kids."

Magnus smiles as Catarina comes to stand beside him, though doesn't shift his gaze from watching Madzie and Alec, as Alec adjusts her on his hip while they look out of the window together.

"He has a much younger brother. Max. He's had practice," Magnus replies in explanation, though he completely agrees with her. Alec just seems to melt whenever he's around Madzie, and she always looks thoroughly enchanted for it.

"Well," Catarina says, smiling hard when Magnus looks at her, "it's good to see. And know."

"Don't you dare," Magnus says, already picturing Catarina cornering Alec to question him about kids and thoroughly putting him off.

"What?" Catarina says, laughing as she looks back at him with false innocence.

"Catarina. No comments, no pointed words, no insinuations. Alec and I are good. Do not be making suggestions to him that are… before our time."

"I don't know what you mean," Catarina retorts with a smile full of mischief before she walks away.

Magnus sighs as he watches her leave, though turns his gaze to the rest of the guests in his living room, glad to see people seem to be having a good time. Izzy is unfazed by Raphael's typical grumpiness, and if Magnus isn't mistaken, he's actually quite charmed by her company. Though Izzy's eyes repeatedly flit from their conversation to glance over at Simon, who is deep in a discussion with Clary that is full of arm gestures and laughter that suggests they are life-long friends. And since tonight is full of surprises, it appears Dot also knows Clary, though Magnus hasn't yet asked how.

Luke and Catarina are now stood by the dining table that he's weighed down in snacks, their heads bent together and talking in a low murmur while staring at Alec. Magnus makes his way over to Alec to block him from their view in case they are conspiring for a conversation he doesn't know if Alec is ready for. Though Alec has so far seemed unconcerned about any of the attempts of his friends to _interrogate_ him.

Magnus is relaxed in Alec's company in a way he's not sure he's ever felt before. It was Alec who helped him buy everything they needed for this evening, and Alec who distracted him with kisses to keep him calm in the few minutes Magnus worried nobody would show. And though this might be the smallest party he's ever hosted in his entire life, Magnus can't remember the last party he's hosted when he's felt this _content_. And if that's because of Alec, well, that can only be a good thing. He's just not willing to rock the boat on this by letting any of his friends _tease_.

"Hey. Can I borrow these?"

Magnus comes to an abrupt stop as Dot steps in front of him, waving two thick books from his shelves. "Uh… of course."

"Magnus," she says, squeezing his arm, "your apothecary is beautiful. It's perfect."

"Thank you."

"I'm so happy you decided to work from home," Dot adds, tucking the books under her arm, "this place is incredible."

"So far it's working out very well."

" _Somebody_ seems to feel quite at home," Dot teases, turning to look at Alec.

It's true, Magnus thinks, watching the easy way he makes his way around the apartment, playing hide and seek with Madzie and making conversation with their friends in between. Magnus supposes that it must be similar when he is at Alec's, and he so easily knows his way around _his_ home. Magnus is _pleased_ for it, a warmth settling in his stomach that just keeps adding to the smile that he's worn on his face since he moved into his home. Before then, even.

"Do you think—"

Magnus holds out his hand asking Dot to stop talking for the look on Alec's face as he pulls his phone from his back pocket. Alec catches his eye, discreetly nodding towards the hall that will take him down to Magnus' bedroom. Magnus nods for him to go and smiles, catching Izzy as she turns to watch him go, and wondering if she, like him, is assuming it is something to do with their parents.

His attention is soon taken again by Madzie charging across the room and barrelling into the back of Raphael's legs. Raphael turns immediately, a sweet, soft smile on his face that Magnus is adamant he's never seen him turn on anyone else. Magnus receives a pointed look from Luke when Raphael scoops Madzie up and carries her over to the window, where they watch the rain beating against it and the flashes of lightning in the distance.

"You think we're gonna get the storm here?" Dot asks as Magnus they both watch a crack of lightning.

"Possibly."

"Well. I guess it's a good thing we're in no hurry to go anywhere," Dot teases. Magnus gives her a mock-glare before turning with her to join Catarina. Only glancing towards his bedroom a couple of times as he talks with his friends.

Alec returns after a few minutes, his face taut, and his first stop a pat on Izzy's shoulder to get her attention. Magnus watches Alec's eyes dart towards Clary as though unsure whether to include her or not. But Clary is raising her hands up to say it's okay, apparently far more interested in the conversation she is now having with Simon and Luke.

"So, what do you think?"

Catarina nudges against Magnus' arm trying to get his attention, almost spilling his drink in the process.

"What?"

"I _said_ , how would you feel about making this a regular thing?"

"What?"

" _Us_ ," Catarina says, laughing as she gestures around the room. "You used to love hosting parties, Magnus. Why don't you start doing this once a month, or something?"

"I'll… perhaps I'll think about it."

"Look at that one," Luke calls out as lightning brightens the sky, and this time is accompanied by a rumble of thunder.

"It's getting nearer," Raphael agrees, adjusting Madzie in his arms.

"She's not bothered by the thunder?" Dot asks Catarina as they all turn to look at Madzie.

"Doesn't look like it," Catarina replies. "This is the first time we've had anything like this together."

"How long has she been with you?" Dot asks, though Magnus misses Catarina's reply for the warm hands squeezing around his waist.

"Hello," he says, leaning back against Alec's chest and smiling for the kiss pressed to his shoulder.

"Hey."

"Everything okay?"

Alec groans, squeezing his arms around him and pressing a harder kiss to his neck. "Just the usual. I'll… deal with them tomorrow. My dad wants to _talk_."

"Well—"

"Magnus," Alec says, laughing as he steps back and taps his side, "you're… _vibrating_."

Magnus quickly reaches into his back pocket, pulling his phone out and smiling when he sees a call coming in from Ragnor on Skype.

"I wouldn't dream of missing your _party_ ," Ragnor says in greeting before Magnus can say a word. "Now. Introduce me to this _Alec_ , would you?"

Alec laughs as he laces his fingers through Magnus' and waves at the phone screen, tucking into his side. Alec isn't fazed by any of this, Magnus thinks, watching the easy way he speaks with Ragnor even though they've never met before. He only blushes when Catarina and Ragnor tease him, and even when Dot joins in with that teasing, Alec just smiles and shrugs it away.

The storm is getting closer. Even Ragnor is stopped mid-sentence when the lights flicker after a particularly loud rumble and flash of lightning. Alec squeezes Magnus' hand to get his attention and sends an apologetic smile towards the screen.

"Do you want me to get the candles from the bedroom?" Alec asks as he gestures at the light above them.

Magnus chooses to ignore the _comment_ Ragnor makes for hearing Alec's words, and Alec's face stays neutral as though he hasn't even heard it. "It's a good idea."

There are already some candles dotted about the living room for decoration, but Magnus leaves his phone with Catarina so she can continue speaking to Ragnor as he makes his way to the kitchen and pulls out the rest of the candles along with some matches. Madzie is squealing with delight for every peal of thunder, which is probably something to do with the way Raphael and Luke are distracting her and making a game of it.

Magnus looks around at his guests who have now all gravitated towards the windows, laughing when Simon, Izzy, and Clary insist they're going to stand on the balcony to watch whether they get drenched or not.

"We, uh… lost Ragnor," Catarina says, waving Magnus' phone as she catches up with him lighting candles. "Think the service got knocked out."

"Probably," Magnus agrees, watching Alec light a final candle across the room. "They said this storm would be bad."

"Well. I never believe them."

"If it stays like this you and Madzie are welcome to stay."

"We'll see what happens," Catarina replies, though clutches his arm with yet another rumble of thunder, watching as the lights flicker again.

"Come look," Alec says, wriggling his fingers for Magnus to take, then tugging him towards the window.

Magnus settles back in Alec's arms watching the rain pound down on the city, laughing as they try to guess how long before the lights go out.

* * *

 


	16. Chapter 16

It's far too early to be awake yet. Though Magnus doesn't mind in the slightest, not for the warm chest beneath his ear, and the curled arm around his back. Magnus can't resist turning his head just enough to get a kiss to Alec's sternum, playing with his fingers even though he's still fast asleep.

Alec is a deep sleeper. It takes an age to rouse him, and even then the way he blinks blearily at Magnus with gravel in his voice for his first words of the morning generally means he needs at least one cup of coffee before he is fully awake. Still, Magnus thinks, from the paleness of the light streaming in to his bedroom, there is enough time to let Alec sleep some more. And for him to enjoy the peace of being laid here with no interruptions, just being held.

Magnus smiles to himself, closing his eyes thinking that still, even after all this time, he can't quite believing his luck having Alec in his life. He listens to the steady beating of his heart, smiles at the occasional soft snore that Alec will deny ever happened, and feels the slightest of changes in his body that let know him Alec will soon be awake.

Magnus monitors everything, cataloging every detail of Alec as he's sleeping, knowing he'll blush furiously if Alec catches him studying so hard. But he doesn't mind really if he does catch him, this is what mornings are made for. Waking slowly in the arms of his boyfriend as he shuts off all other thoughts.

Alec is starting to move. There is a soft sigh, a twitch of his fingers that pull them from Magnus' grasp. Magnus doesn't need to lift his head to know he's licking his lips, though does burrow closer as Alec squeezes his arm around him to let him know he's awake.

"Good morning," Alec croaks out, his fingers beginning to trace absent patterns into his back.

"Good morning."

"It's early. Isn't it?"

"I think so," Magnus agrees, "though I haven't checked the time."

Alec hums in answer, yawning and stretching a little beneath him, jostling Magnus as he rolls up just enough to kiss the top of his head. "Did you sleep okay?"

"I did," Magnus says, refusing the idea that he sleeps better with Alec here beside him. For however long they've been together now, it is far too soon to be thinking like _that_. "And you?"

"I always do when I've got you with me," Alec says, leaving Magnus cursing himself for not finding his words as easily as Alec, and pressing his face into his chest as he smiles.

"That's… good."

"You know the best thing about waking up early?" Alec says as he rolls them over until Magnus is on his back.

"No?" Magnus replies, sweeping his hands up Alec's arms as he drapes himself over him.

"I get to see you for longer before I go to work."

Magnus hums in answer, angling up to meet Alec's kiss, then wrapping his hands low around his waist as Alec lowers himself until they're pressed chest to chest. "I like that too."

"You know, Magnus," Alec says, brushing their lips together, "I could… maybe we could spend the entire day in bed on Sunday. Make up for all these hours I can't be with you this week."

Magnus grumbles for the thought of not seeing Alec until the weekend because of how busy he is at work, and is placated with more kisses over his face, neck, and throat. "We could."

"Or," Alec says, dropping on to his forearms so he can toy with Magnus' hair, "maybe we could… if you wanted. We could get a hotel on Saturday night. Sunday too. Drive back early Monday morning."

Magnus' head fills with images of he and Alec in a luxurious hotel room, indulging in nothing but each other in the tub and their bed. He hasn't done anything even close to that with another person in more years than he can count. And to add to it this weekend is the first when he will watch Alec compete in archery. Alec seems to want to share every part of his life with him, and sometimes it leaves Magnus a little overwhelmed.

Not this time, Magnus thinks as he strokes his hands down Alec's back to grab his ass as Alec straddles him, beginning to lazily grind them together. "That… would be wonderful."

"It would. You, me, a hotel room somewhere," Alec says in between kisses. "Nothing else we need to think about for hours."

"Then let's do it. Perhaps if you leave it with me, I can arrange something."

"Oh?" Alec says his eyes fluttering closed as he rolls his hips and they thicken and knock together.

"Well. Judging from where you said the competition is, I just happen to have a client or two in the area that might be able to give us an excellent room."

Alec's smile is warm, filled with affectionate teasing, and Magnus waits for a comment about his celebrity client list to come. It doesn't, since Alec seems far more interested in the way they're moving together, looking down between them one moment then chasing his mouth for a kiss the next.

"Sounds good," he says, his voice low with arousal. "Let's think about that later though, huh?"

Magnus hums in agreement, moving to where Alec guides him, concentrating on the feel of Alec against him and the heat building in his core.

* * *

One more chapter, Magnus promises himself as he takes a sip of his wine. One more chapter, then he will make productive use of his evening. He's already planned a schedule to keep himself as busy as he can be to avoid how much he's missing Alec with him working so much, but this book is just too good to put down.

"One more," he says out loud, as though that will make any difference to how quickly he is devouring the pages.

Magnus is so engrossed in what he is reading that the intercom buzzing to announce he has a visitor startles him enough to make him jolt where he's stretched out on the couch. Carefully marking the page with a bookmark—a holographic thing with shimmering cat eyes that Alec bought for him—Magnus jumps up and walks over to the door in curiosity.

"Hello?"

"Hey. It's just me."

"Well, hello," Magnus says, pleased and surprised that it's Alec. He has late night meetings about changes to the schedules and budgets at the university every night this week, along with his regular work throughout the day. And when he isn't working Alec is training hard for the difficult tournament Magnus is attending with him on Saturday. Any chance to see him has been a snatched few minutes, because Magnus doesn't want to interfere with his routine any more than he has to.

Magnus jogs over to the mirror nearest the door to check his appearance, wipes away a tiny speck of kohl at the corner of his eye, then opens the door wide, huffing in surprised laughter when Alec wraps himself around him and groans into his shoulder as he clings on.

"I've missed you," Alec says, mumbling it into his neck as he holds on even tighter.

Magnus had been trying to convince himself he wasn't missing Alec as much as he has been doing, but hearing Alec's words and feeling him here in his arms pushes all thoughts of pretense away. "I've missed you too."

"I promise. Once this week is done, it shouldn't be like this again for a while."

"I understand," Magnus says, pulling back to clutch Alec just above his elbows as he smiles at him.

"I know you do," Alec says with a quick kiss, "I just… wish it wasn't like this."

"Me too. But—"

"Can you stay at mine tonight?" Alec asks, surprising Magnus again.

"Well. Of course—"

"It'd be really good to fall asleep with you," Alec says, wrapping him up in a hug again. "I know it's selfish, because you have work too. But—"

"My schedule is far more flexible than your own," Magnus finishes for him.

"So. You'll stay?" Alec says, his voice full of hope, even if he isn't quite meeting his eyes.

"Of course. Let me just pack a quick bag."

Alec nods, only releasing him after another kiss, and nodding in encouragement when Magnus gestures towards his bedroom. Magnus is ready in minutes, only belatedly realizing just how agitated Alec is again when they are outside his apartment building and Alec is raising his hand to kiss the back of.

"Let's walk through the park," Alec suggests, waving towards the park Magnus has yet to explore.

"It's… a little dark," Magnus replies, though squeezes his hand back anyway.

"I'll protect you," Alec retorts, leaning in for a kiss.

The park is beautiful, far better lit than Magnus had been imagining, and plenty of other people passing through to make him think it must be a safe place to be at this time of night. Alec tells him of his day, asks about the few clients he knew Magnus was meeting with, and kisses him when Magnus tells him about the hotel he's arranged for their weekend.

"There is a hot tub that I aim for us to spend Saturday night in, unless you have a preference for something else," he adds after telling Alec about every other feature of the hotel that he knows about.

"You, me, and a hot tub sounds perfect," Alec says, smiling as he squeezes his hand, "thank you."

"Yes. It does—"

"Magnus," Alec says, his voice soft and urgent, "I… I have something to tell you that I really don't think you want to hear. But you need to. Maybe—I don't know."

Magnus nods, pleased at least to know that there is a reason for Alec's slight stiffness and the way his eyes keep darting elsewhere as they walk. "Okay."

"And I… I promise I only found out about this today. At lunchtime. It's not like I've been keeping this from you," Alec adds. "But I didn't… I still don't know if I'm even right to tell you, but I think you'd want to know."

Magnus nods again, his stomach already beginning to turn over and thinking the worst, even if he doesn't know what that worst is.

"The thing is," Alec says, sighing before he visibly hesitates and drops Magnus' hand to wrap his arm around him instead, "I don't know, really, if this even impacts you or not. I mean, I hope it doesn't—"

"Alexander," Magnus says, leaning against him in encouragement, "I'd rather know, than not."

"That's what I thought," Alec agrees, still looking cautious, and nervous, and altogether lost.

"So, whatever it is… I'd… I think I want to know about it."

Alec nods again, frowning and staring down across the park and everywhere around them, before dropping his head back with a groan. "My mom called me earlier asking that I go over to the house for lunch. She's going away for… actually, I don't know how long."

"Oh?"

"Yeah," Alec says, frowning, "I don't know if she means she's going away for a week, or a month, or… I don't know. I just think she wants a break after everything that's going on."

"It's understandable."

"Yeah. It is," Alec agrees, seeming to fold in on himself. He looks up when Magnus squeezes his hand to get his attention after he goes quiet, his jaw gritting in determination before he turns to press a hard kiss to Magnus' cheek. "Let's get home first. We'll talk about it there."

Magnus' mind is racing for the last few minutes it takes them to get to Alec's apartment. He is on edge as Alec takes the bag from his shoulder as he always does, and even when he leans in to kiss him. His stomach gives an uncomfortable drop when Alec returns from the kitchen with two glasses of scotch instead of their usual wine. Magnus lasts just a few seconds of them being sat awkwardly on the couch together before he has to ask.

"Alexander," he says, reaching out and taking Alec's hand, "please talk to me."

Alec nods, swirling his thumb over the back of his hand and pressing it against his own thigh, taking a large sip of his scotch before he speaks. "I told you that with all this… divorce stuff happening between my parents, they found out—Mom found out—Dad's taken some clients behind her back?"

"You did."

"And that some of those clients—maybe even all their clients; I don't really know—are being investigated? At least, checked out, because of these ones Dad took that he really, really shouldn't have?"

Magnus nods in encouragement, pleading silently for Alec to hurry up and get his words out.

"Well," Alec says, sucking in a sharp breath that whistles, "it turns out that one of those clients… Magnus, one of those clients I think might be your _dad_."

Magnus freezes as Alec reels off the name of his father's subsidiary company that he only told Alec about recently, a ringing noise filling his ears so he can barely hear Alec talk.

"I wasn't going looking for it or anything," Alec is saying when Magnus' mind focuses again. "But when I was talking to Mom, she was showing me this long, long list of clients she'd never even heard of, and your… your dad's name stood out as one of those being investigated. And with what you said before—"

"Is there any… I assume, he is one of those being investigated?"

"He is."

"And are there… grounds for concern about the products he sells? My concern? About them being… unsafe?" Magnus asks, pleading with himself to be wrong, begging his overactive imagination to be the thing behind this trouble and be useful for once in his life.

"Magnus, I'm sorry," Alec says, raising his hand to kiss the back of before he sighs and nods. "But… yeah. There is. Things about… I mean I didn't read everything because I'm not even supposed to—client confidentiality, Mom not even really thinking straight leaving the list of names lying around—but it looks like you were right. About him attempting to sell things that contain ingredients that are banned here, that have, or that might have, really bad side effects. Or other health implications."

"And your father helped prevent him from being prosecuted for this?" Magnus asks, feeling cold, and small, and so very lost.

"Seems that way. Something to do with a… conflict of jurisdictional law, or something. I can't say I really understood."

"Then. I should be thankful, at least, that I have kept a consistent record of every time I have rejected his requests to place his products in The Lucky Cat," Magnus says with a smile that he knows has to look sickly. "Or tried to associate anything of his with _my_ business."

"I won't even pretend to know the first thing about law," Alec says, squeezing his hand and looking _guilty_ of all things, "but, yeah. I think that's probably a good thing. I don't see how any of this should involve you at all, but… I still think it's better that you… I wanted you to know. To be prepared in case… well. Just in case."

Cold creeps further through Magnus as he curses himself yet again for not reporting his suspicions to the police. Both sides of the argument for reporting him screaming at him for attention, leaving Magnus wondering now if he shouldn't have already had a conversation about this with _Luke_.

"Will you… tell your parents that you know?" Magnus asks, because he has no idea how this might play out for Alec.

"Well. I shouldn't have really seen his name in the first place—"

"Specifically, if, or when, they find out. How do you think they will react when they realize that you are in a relationship with the son of this… _client_? Me?"

He doesn't mean to be selfish, and Magnus is angry with himself for putting his own happiness above other things. But he can't bear the thought of anything coming between him and Alec. Particularly if it is nothing that is his fault.

Alec's thoughtful nod as though he's mulling his words over does nothing to settle the panic growing in Magnus' heart.

"Well," Alec says with a clipped smile as he squeezes his hand again, "I don't—this changes nothing between _us_ —"

"But it could," Magnus points out, scared of all the possibilities this revelation might bring.

"Magnus. This doesn't—it's nothing to do with _us_. This is our parents—"

"Who, I'm sure, would see difficulties at the very least. Impossible problems at the worst."

"Look," Alec says, shaking his head in denial, "your dad did something wrong. My dad did something wrong when he helped him do it. And my mom… as his business partner, she's… there will be some responsibilities there that—"

"Alexander," Magnus says, swallowing hard, "we don't know—"

"We don't know anything at all," Alec finishes for him, leaning in with a kiss. "We don't—I just wanted to be honest with you about this. So if anything comes of it, then… at least you can, I don't know. Prepare for it, or something."

"I suppose."

"And I wanted to see you tonight," Alec adds, raising his arm for Magnus to duck beneath. "I wanted to see you anyway, but there was no way I would have slept tonight knowing about this and not telling you."

Magnus doesn't know what to say. Though as Alec squeezes him closer and drops a kiss to his temple, he feels like a storm is approaching from which he has no hope of escape.

* * *

Over the next few days, Magnus begins to look for signs of a conflict brewing between them. To note the moment when this arrangement between their fathers makes everything go horribly wrong. And for every time Alec doesn't answer his messages immediately because he is busy with work, Magnus fears it's the beginning of difficulty between them. Even when he knows it's irrational. Even when he can acknowledge his imagination is just too _much_.

He doesn't sleep at all on Friday night even though he's exhausted himself filling orders all day long, and spending the evening with Catarina and Madzie. By the time Alec is messaging to say he is outside his apartment building on Saturday morning, Magnus has worked himself into such a state he thinks Alec will notice the moment he gets into the car.

"Hey," Alec says, smiling at him as he leans across the seat for a kiss. "Thanks again for coming with me for this thing."

Alec is troubled himself, Magnus thinks, cursing himself for being so selfish when the only thing that is probably on Alec's mind at the moment is the tournament he is competing in today.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Magnus replies as he puts on his seatbelt, and it's true. He's been wanting to watch Alec compete for almost as long as he's known Alec does archery. The thought of doing just that today is enough to settle him a little, and he relaxes even more as Alec grabs his hand to press against his thigh as they drive. The idea of falling asleep right here is so tempting, his eyes sore from a lack of sleep. But Magnus is determined to be supportive of Alec and push his own ridiculous ideas and his own needs to the furthest corner of his mind.

"I'm… probably gonna be a little on edge until we get there," Alec adds, giving him an apologetic smile.

"I could… distract you," Magnus offers, hoping he can do enough to keep Alec calm.

"You always do," Alec replies with an arched eyebrow and a smirk on his face. He leans in to steal another kiss, leaning their foreheads together and sighing against him, before he's turning the car out on to the road.

Magnus knows Alec is competing in an outdoor national. He knows there will be competitions divided into something called _ends_. He knows that Alec will shoot arrows over a series of distances, and that today Alec's competition is a _compound_ one, instead of a _recurve_. But aside from that, Magnus knows very little, content instead to listen to Alec talk about the competition as they drive to the venue where it's being held, asking questions along the way.

When they don't talk about the tournament, they speak about everything else. They talk about Izzy, and Jace possibly coming home in a couple of months. Alec asks about Raphael's bar, and if there has been any progress in Madzie's adoption. The one subject they avoid altogether is anything involving either of their fathers. Magnus is both relieved about it and worried that they aren't doing _enough_. Even though there is nothing they can do, and even if this business between their fathers is nothing to do with _them_.

"See that guy over there?" Alec says half under his breath when they're parked and stood by the trunk of the car.

Magnus follows his discreet gesture to a guy a few spaces over, and nods. "Another competitor?"

" _Raj_ ," Alec says with obvious disdain in his voice. "Always ass-kissing the judges, the venue hosts, always reciting new amendments to the rules like he hasn't anything better to do with his life."

"Maybe he doesn't," Magnus says, prepared to give this _Raj_ a chance. But then he sees the calculating, condescending look he sends Alec's way as he pulls his equipment from the car, and finds himself scowling across the parking lot. Blocking Raj's view of Alec as though he is his shield.

"You didn't need to bring a bodyguard, Lightwood," Raj calls out as he walks by them with his own bow and quiver awkwardly over his shoulder.

Alec straightens up from the trunk and gracefully swings his quiver over his shoulder, slamming down the lid. "I don't know. Last time you missed so badly, I thought—"

" _Whatever_ ," Raj retorts before Alec can even finish, scowling at them before spinning on his heel.

"Uh—"

"Raj is just… _Raj_ ," Alec says with an exasperated sigh as he nudges for Magnus to follow him.

"Are there… any other people competing that are like him?"

"No," Alec says, laughing, and discreetly squeezing Magnus into his side for a moment, "just him."

Magnus watches Alec as he registers, smiles proudly when he introduces him to the others competing and watching. Thinks his heart might jump out of his chest in excitement when Alec kisses him in full view of the group assembling. Then has to dig his fingers into his sides as he first watches Alec check his bow over, and again as he warms up.

Everything he's been imagining about Alec competing is unfolding before him. There is the confident squaring of his shoulders, the easy smile for his competitors, and sheer determination in his expression. He is poised, and certain, accurate when he hits every target. Alec pays no attention to how any of the other archers are doing, focusing solely on his own.

Magnus is half-fascinated by the sound of the arrows flying through the air before the solid thunk that announces they've hit. Alec's gait is almost predatory as he collects his arrows, leaving Magnus discreetly adjusting himself out of sight. He would chide himself for having such a reaction, but watching Alec's performance and confidence on the field Magnus thinks is a good enough reason for him to be fantasizing about getting Alec to himself the very second he can.

Magnus barely keeps his hands to himself when they stop for lunch, with Alec's careful attentiveness to make sure he doesn't ache from standing watching for so long, or isn't cold or bored, meaning he has to snatch a kiss from him. Alec smiles through it, even grabs him a little harder when a couple of the other competitors holler at them from across the field. Alec is barely blushing when he pulls back, tangling their fingers together to squeeze before finishing his drink, and returning to his target.

Magnus might not understand all there is to know about archery yet, but he can tell Alec is doing well, though that doesn't mean he isn't nervous for him. That Alec is already leading on points by a huge margin puts Magnus even more on edge, holding his breath through every shot as though he might disturb the air around Alec's arrows if he doesn't.

There is camaraderie between most of the archers, and, Magnus thinks, even a little teasing of Alec because of _him_ being there. Alec shrugs easily through a comment about wanting to impress his boyfriend, turning his head to look Magnus in the eye as he lets a practice arrow fly, and still hitting his target. Which Magnus tries not to be aroused by in the slightest, yet still _is_.

The group of spectators move back a little as the final end begins, and Magnus is back to holding his breath every time an arrow goes whizzing through the air. Alec is still leading, and from the sounds of the other competitors laughing and teasing him about it, Magnus is fairly sure he is going to win this thing. But won't let himself think it too hard just in case.

When it's confirmed that Alec has won, Alec accepts the handshakes, slaps on the backs, and hard hugs Magnus can practically hear the thud of from where he's standing. And heaven help him, Alec turns to him and _winks_. There is no one else on this earth that has ever brought weakness to his knees, but Magnus finds himself having to move around just to keep himself upright.

Magnus beams throughout the award ceremony, and is surprised by the amount of prize money Alec receives. Though is distracted enough to forget about it altogether for the look Alec gives him from the small stage that leaves him grinning even harder.

Alec holds his hand as he introduces Magnus to the final few people he hasn't already spoken with, with Magnus belatedly realizing he hasn't felt out of place or uncomfortable in this group of strangers all day long. He is even more than willing to go for the drinks one of them suggests as they are returning to their cars.

"Maybe next time," Alec says as he carefully slots his bow and quiver back into the trunk. "Magnus and I have plans."

Alec's discreet squeeze around his waist and the smile he gives him makes Magnus want to be in their hotel room about five minutes ago, but he smiles and nods back as though he isn't in a hurry for anything at all.

"It was lovely to meet you all," Magnus adds to the group as Alec squeezes him into his side again.

Alec winks at him over the top of the car as they climb in, and Magnus checks the directions for their hotel on his phone as his fingers slot between Alec's thighs.

* * *

"I can barely remember what the place looked like," Magnus says as he and Dot make their way back downstairs to The Lucky Cat after she's shown him the changes she's made to the apartment.

"Oh, please," Dot replies, nudging against his shoulder, "it's only been a few weeks."

"Still. It is different. It looks good," Magnus tells her, and it's true. Even if he's lying a little and still has some _very_ fond memories of spending time up there with Alec.

"Honestly, Magnus, this is all so… perfect for me."

"Then I am pleased. And everything here looks great," Magnus adds with a wave of his arm to mean the store.

The Lucky Cat itself doesn't look all that different, the same products lining his shelves, the same layout to maximize the space they have in the small building. But there are still little touches of Dot everywhere, and Magnus is pleased with everything he sees.

" _Steven_ keeps visiting with slices of cake," Dot adds, nodding towards the bakery opposite with a smile on her face.

"Oh. I only ever got free cake when I had helped him _out_. I would say you're making yourself a friend."

"Maybe."

Magnus winks, watching the secret smile on her face, sure that Dot is enjoying the _flirting_ that's led to her getting that cake. "Well. I'd best be getting back. I have an order—"

"Oh," Dot says, calling Magnus back to the counter as he turns to leave, "I almost forgot. We had a sales rep come in earlier. Left his card."

"Oh?" Magnus asks, adjusting the bag over his shoulder and watching Dot look beneath the counter shelf before sliding him across a business card.

"Real charming guy."

Magnus' stomach drops like a stone for picturing his father walking nonchalantly around his store. Sneering at the products on his shelves as he mentally makes space for his own. Not that he's ever going to let him, of course.

"Well—"

"He was offering quite a discount on—"

"Dorothea," Magnus says, swallowing awkwardly as he curls his fingers over the edge of the counter. "This is your place of work. The store—"

"Is still yours," she says, smiling back at him.

"Well, yes. Though I do respect your judgment on just about every decision you make."

"Well, that's good to know."

"Aside from this man," Magnus says, waving the card and resisting the urge to crumple it up in his hand or do something drastic, like burn it. "I don't want anything to do with anything that he is trying to sell."

"Magnus—"

"This was my father. _Is_ my father," Magnus says, avoiding Dot's gaze for as long as he can.

"Oh. Oh," she says, her eyes wide in surprise. "I'm sorry, Magnus."

"I just don't want—"

"I know," Dot says quickly, reaching out to squeeze his forearm. "I'm sorry. I didn't even realize he was here."

"No," Magnus says with a sickly smile, feeling sick to his stomach at the thought of his father being anywhere near him. "No. Neither did I."

"Are you… okay?" Dot asks, the concern on her face adding to Magnus' panic making him want to run, to be anywhere but here.

"I'm fine," he says as he fixes a false smile on his face. "You'll let me know if he returns."

"Of course."

"I'll… speak to you soon."

"Magnu—"

* * *

Magnus can't think. His instincts pull him in different directions, first to walk until he can't he can't feel his legs, and then to drown himself in a bar so he can't feel anything else. He thinks of Alec, reaching for his phone and seeing a message already waiting for him, then slotting it back into his pocket unanswered.

His father is everywhere. In the faces of the people he passes, climbing out of taxi doors. When someone bumps into him Magnus gasps for it, feeling the need to get off the streets, far past the point of trying to tell himself to be rational. Though there is no need to be reacting like he is, fearing his father will loom out at him from around corners. There is nothing his father can _do_ to him to make Magnus fear his company the way he does.

Magnus finds himself wandering aimlessly through a mall, working his way through three clothes stores and leaving with armfuls of new shirts. He finds a pair of suspenders that will go perfectly with a pair of pants he bought only last week, and a pair of shoes that he pretends he doesn't notice the price of for hearing Catarina's voice in his head calling him a snob.

His phone buzzes again, and Magnus chooses to ignore it. There is no need for it, no reason to be shutting the entire world out. And by the entire world right now, he means _Alec_. Who has been nothing but supportive throughout every event in his life ever since he met him, never once acting as though it is too much trouble.

This isn't fair, Magnus knows it isn't. Not to himself, or Alec, or anyone else who might be trying to contact him now. What if Madzie is sick again, or Luke's had a bad day at work and wants to talk things out? Even guilt-tripping himself does nothing, only sends Magnus head first into the nearest store.

He buys gold satin sheets that make him think of Alec, a pair of crystal cut wine glasses for when they share a bottle of wine. Magnus even buys a thick silver photo frame with every intention of choosing a picture of him and Alec to go in it, cursing himself for not doing it any earlier.

Magnus picks up an ornate vase that he has no need for yet can already picture on his shelves. He buys three notebooks that he doubts he'll ever get around to filling yet will look beautiful on the corner of his apothecary desk. Magnus buys a cow keychain that moos for Alec, still completely bemused that he would like cows so much. And only when his arms are full of purchases that he doesn't need, when the mall is close to closing, does Magnus feel like he's ready to leave.

His phone buzzes for a third time, and Magnus uses the excuse that his hands are too full to answer it. With a glance up at the sky overhead as he steps back outside, Magnus breathes deep, and heads for home.

* * *

Alec's message to say he is on his way over puts flutters in Magnus' stomach that he tells himself he doesn't know the origin of. There is no kiss at the end of it like there normally is. Magnus spends several seconds waiting to see if Alec maybe missed a key and is sending one separately, then swallows hard for knowing it isn't going to happen and quickly answers back.

 _"I'm here. I can't wait to see you_ ," he writes, complete with several kisses, hoping it might be enough to make Alec smile. Magnus sags in relief when he receives a smiley face back with two kisses to follow. Then tries not to think too hard about Alec not answering to say he can't wait to see him either.

This is his fault. If he had just answered his phone when Alec had called him, then this _frostiness_ between them might not have spread so far. And he can't blame Alec at all; it was _him_ who had told Alec he would message to say when he was free for dinner after visiting Dot at The Lucky Cat two nights ago. And _him_ that ignored several texts as well as that call, not even contacting him until the following morning. It was also him who had practically flung himself at Alec in the doorway of his apartment yesterday evening trying to apologize for shutting him out. Magnus wonders now if that had been anywhere near enough.

"Please don't be mad at me," Magnus says out loud, quickly tidying around an already-immaculate apartment before smoothing his hand down the shirt that he knows to be Alec's favorite on him, and telling himself not to _think_ so hard.

He pretends to be busy, even though he's more than done with his work for the day. Magnus debates answering the door with a book in his hand, or something else to say he's still in the middle of working, but curses out loud for even considering putting on an act for Alec, and throws the book down on the apothecary desk. Magnus picks up the book again though, realizing there was something he'd forgotten to look up earlier. He is still scribbling down his notes when the intercom sounds.

"Alexander," Magnus says as Alec steps through the door a couple of minutes later, immediately wrapping him up in his arms. Magnus closes his eyes as Alec hugs him back and drops a kiss on his shoulder.

"Hey. You get everything done you needed to?"

"Almost," Magnus says, pulling back just enough to look at him, hoping his smile looks more full than it feels. "I only need a few more minutes."

"So… I have you to myself all night?" Alec asks, his hands dropping to squeeze around his waist.

"You do," Magnus says quickly, "you always do."

Alec smiles at that, and though Magnus is disappointed that Alec didn't bring a bag with him to stay over, his smile is soft, and his hand warm as he presses it against his cheek, leaning in for a kiss. Magnus wraps him up in his arms again to deepen the kiss and keep Alec where he wants him for longer, whining in protest when Alec pulls back.

"Magnus," Alec whispers, cradling Magnus' face between his hands, "it's okay. We're good."

"I didn't mean to—"

"I know you're—I know your dad's getting to you."

"He _shouldn't_ be."

" _Magnus_ ," Alec says, kissing him quiet, and this time pulling back with a teasing smile that Magnus knows is meant to mean this is the end of it.

"I thought. Steak for dinner?" Magnus says as he unnecessarily straightens up Alec's shirt collar. "Followed by that cheesecake you liked so much."

"You don't have to spoil me," Alec says as Magnus takes his hand and tugs him towards the kitchen.

"Who else do I get to spoil?"

"Well—"

"Who else do I _want_ to spoil?" Magnus amends, spinning away to pour Alec a glass of wine that is his favorite.

Alec puts the glass down on the counter to his side without even tasting it, instead grabbing Magnus before he can get too far. He cups his face again, drawing him into a longer, slower kiss, then leaning back against the counter so Magnus is pressed hard against him.

"We're _good_ ," Alec whispers as he loops his arms low around Magnus' waist and sags a little. "We're okay."

Magnus nods back, bumping his forehead against Alec's shoulder and smiling in relief. They smile at each other for a few seconds, the ease of it dropping some of the stress from Magnus' spine.

"So," he says, slotting his hands into Alec's to squeeze before he stands back again. "How was your day? Mine has been very, very quiet. I feel like I haven't a clue about what is happening out there in the world."

"The world's pretty much the same as it always is," Alec tells him, nodding and following Magnus, still holding his hand.

"Then. Allow me just to put one book away, before I forget what I needed to write, and I will be done."

"My Mom's back, though," Alec says, leaning in the doorway of Magnus' apothecary and watching him.

"Oh," Magnus says, slotting his book back into place on its shelf and returning to the desk to perch on the edge. "Is she… well?"

"She is," Alec says, though he does pause a little before answering. "At least, I think she is."

"And is she… pleased? To be back?" Magnus asks, absently tidying up a couple of bottles on the desk.

"Well," Alec says, tilting his head as he watches Magnus, even stepping forward to study one of his shelves, picking up a jar to sniff then grimace at. "I know she seems happier now."

Magnus pauses from swirling an emulsion he is preparing just for something to do with his hands, before looking up at Alec for an explanation.

"I think… and I can't believe I'm saying this," Alec adds, with a strange smile Magnus can't quite work out. "I think they're finally agreeing on the terms of their divorce. At least, she had a meeting with her divorce lawyer this afternoon, and it seems to have gone well."

"They have reached an agreement? On everything?" Magnus asks, unable to keep the surprise from his voice. Everything has been so _difficult_ about this entire process that he can't believe it would be resolved so soon.

"I don't know about _everything_ ," Alec admits, with a slight wince that Magnus takes to mean there are still some unresolved issues relating to Alec's father's clients. "I just know that Mom seems like she's looking forward to starting over. She's agreed to the division of their possessions. Dad's apparently willing to give up the house."

"That is… good of him?"

"I guess," Alec says, shrugging. "I didn't expect it, actually. It's been in the family for years, was his parent's place before ours. But I guess with all the affairs, and the clients that he shouldn't have taken on. I guess he must realize how much he owes her for not being far more… I don't know. Outraged, and difficult, for all he's done."

"I almost don't want to ask, but—"

"The only difficulty remaining is their law practice," Alec finishes for him, with a rueful smile. "From what she's been saying, I think at first they'd decided they would continue working alongside one another as just _partners_. They've always got on well enough for _work_ stuff, at least. Until all this."

"But now, because of those clients… your mother does not want to?" Magnus guesses, not blaming her in the slightest if that's the case.

"I think she's lost the last bit of trust she had in him because of it. Can't say I blame her; kind of amazed she held on to any trust for him for so long," Alec adds, perching on the end of the desk.

"So. What will she do?"

"Well," Alec says, picking up a glass rod to toy with, then putting it back down when Magnus gently shoos him towards the living room. "She's _talking_ about… signing the business over to Dad altogether, so he can… whatever _clients_ he's had to deal with are… all on him."

"Would they not be anyway?" Magnus asks when they sit down, smiling when Alec presses a kiss just beneath his jaw.

"As his partner, she might have some sort of monetary obligation if all these investigations turn up anything bad. But, if Dad takes full ownership of their business, and absolves her of all responsibility. Then she's about as free as she can be from it all."

"And what would she do then? Set up on her own?"

"Honestly? I don't know. She has some friends who maybe would take her on as another lawyer in their own practices. She was talking about looking for a regular job."

"In an established law firm?" Magnus asks, even more surprised.

"Maybe," Alec says, shrugging as he toys with his glass. "I couldn't… Magnus, it was just so good to see her _happy_ , you know? I didn't even know she was coming back until she showed up at my desk about an hour before I finished work."

"Then. I am happy that _she_ is happy," Magnus says, smiling as Alec kisses him.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Of course," Magnus says, laughing softly when Alec shifts suddenly to straddle his lap. "If your mother is happy, then that makes _you_ happy. And seeing _you_ happy is something I enjoy seeing more than almost anything else."

"You mean that?" Alec says, tilting his head again as he studies him.

Magnus frowns, taking in the expression on Alec's face and knowing there is something coming that he isn't necessarily going to like. "What is it?"

"What's what?"

"Whatever it is that's put your _look_ on your face."

"I don't—"

"Alexander," Magnus says in teasing reproach, sweeping his free hand up over his thigh.

"So. My mother," Alec says with a defeated sigh as he drapes his arms over Magnus' shoulders. "She wants to have _dinner_."

"Oh?"

"With you— _us_ ," Alec adds, screwing his face up in what Magnus thinks is an apology.

"That's… okay," Magnus replies, telling his stomach it isn't spinning in knots already for the thought of a full evening with Alec's mother.

"It is?"

"It is," Magnus agrees, tilting his face up asking for a kiss. "I can even arrange something if you like."

"Actually," Alec says, screwing his face up even further, "Mom's picked a place. Made a reservation for Thursday night. I told her not to, but, she'd already done it."

"Well. My schedule is clear."

"But this is… this is okay, Magnus? You don't… it's okay?"

"Of course," Magnus replies, telling himself he isn't nervous as he curls his hand around Alec's side.

"It'll just be us three," Alec adds as though he's trying to make this sound far less intimidating than it already feels.

"Alexander," Magnus says, wrapping his arm around Alec's waist and holding him steady as he first pushes his own glass to the table then does the same with Alec's. "It will be… nice."

Alec hums, clearly not believing him. Magnus pulls Alec until he is flush against him, intent on pushing thoughts of Alec's mother to one side for the rest of the night.

* * *

 


	17. Chapter 17

 

 

"You look lovely, Mrs—"

"Maryse. Please," Alec's mother says, reaching out to clutch Magnus' hand as she rises to greet him beside the restaurant table where she and Alec are already sat.

"I'm sorry that I'm late," Magnus says shooting an apologetic look at Alec, who waves it away and leans in to kiss him with an easy smile, his arm squeezing loose around his waist.

"It's my fault for making this reservation without checking you were free first," Maryse says, gesturing for Magnus to sit before she does herself. Magnus tells himself he isn't grinning like an idiot for the way Alec holds out then tucks his chair in after him before sitting down himself.

"We've only been here five minutes anyway," Alec adds, squeezing Magnus' hand against his knee beneath the table.

"I haven't eaten here before," Magnus says as he looks around the restaurant, then smiling in thanks as Alec pours him a glass of wine.

"Oh. Everything is wonderful," Maryse replies, waving towards the menu in front of him.

"Jace always insists on getting a vindaloo," Alec adds, skimming through the menu as though he's been here often enough to already know what he wants.

"And every time he complains that they've made it hotter on purpose because it's _him_ ," Maryse says, smiling as she taps at the menu, clearly already decided. "Spice Symphony has been something of a… family tradition of ours, for a few years now."

"No reason why it can't keep being one," Alec retorts. Magnus catches the look that passes between them and prepares for more news of Robert's misdeeds after their meal.

"The lamb chops sound delicious," he says, for wanting to fill the silence.

"They are," Alec agrees, squeezing his knee again. "And we normally get a bunch of appetisers to share, so you can try a few things."

"All the breads are incredible," Maryse adds in between sips of wine. "Now. Tell me about your day, Magnus. What is it like to be working from home?"

"I—"

" _Mom_ —"

"I'm interested in how you spend your day," Maryse says, waving her glass and shooting a look at Alec that is a clear, _be quiet_. "Alec tells me that you have settled in your apartment."

"I have," Magnus agrees, and after a little encouragement from Alec goes on to talk about his apothecary, and some of his clients, pausing only when their starters are delivered so he can agree about just how good the food is.

"I have to tell you, Magnus. That treatment you made Izzy for under your eyes," Maryse says as they're waiting for their second course. "It's a miracle. Honestly; my eyes have never felt so… refreshed."

"Then, I will make you up a bottle for Alec to bring to you," Magnus replies, partly kicking himself for not having anything on him he can give her now, and partly sad that Maryse has had so many reasons for being upset of late that she would have such sore eyes.

"Oh, there is no need," Maryse says, waving his words away in dismissal and smiling. "I have every intention of ordering several things from your website over the weekend."

"Mom's having a _girls weekend_ with Izzy and Clary," Alec adds, pretending to pout.

"Well. If you _want_ to join us for leg waxing and eyebrow plucking and facials, then you are more than welcome to join us," Maryse teases, smiling at Alec over the top of her wine glass.

Alec manages to glare the offer away even while still smiling, and Magnus squeezes his fingers against his leg for it.

"Sometimes it is good to have a weekend where you just pamper yourself," Magnus says, nodding to Maryse.

"It is," Maryse agrees. "We are booked into a hotel for two nights. It will be nice to be away from… everything."

"Where are you staying?" Magnus asks, hoping his smile is a sympathetic one.

Maryse reels off the name of a hotel, to which Magnus ducks his head and laughs behind his glass. "You don't like the hotel?"

"On the contrary," Magnus says as he shakes his head, "I like it very much. It is just that I have been making some of their spa products for the past… four years now."

"Really?" Maryse says, her face lighting up in delight.

"Small world," Alec adds, once again squeezing Magnus' hand.

Magnus is surprised to find himself at ease with Alec's mother. The bubbling tension that feels like it's constantly gnawing at him about his father seems to be leaving him alone tonight, for which he couldn't be more thankful. Alec repeatedly finds reason to touch him, either holding his hand or clutching his arm, never once holding back on his affection just because they are in the company of his mother.

Maryse's smile for them when they share stories of some of the places they have been together puts Magnus even more at ease, and Magnus can even begin to recognize the glint in her eye for when she is about to tease Alec.

"Did you know, Magnus, that Alec hasn't let _any_ of his family go with him to watch when he does archery for… it has to be a couple of years now. I'm almost offended that he invited you to watch and not _us_."

"Oh?" Magnus asks, turning to Alec for an explanation.

"Yeah," Alec says with a huff of laughter, raising an eyebrow at his mother. "Because _Mom_ decided to argue with the score the last time she came along when I'd messed up a couple of shots and _deserved_ not to score high. And Jace and Izzy got asked to leave for _talking_ too loud."

"You speak as though your family is an embarrassment to you, Alec," Maryse says in reproach, even if there is a hint of amusement in her eyes.

"Well. Sometimes, yeah."

Alec is saved from Maryse's retort by the arrival of more food, the three of them sharing the dishes with ease as though they have done this together many times before. Talk turns to Alec's work, with Maryse's beaming pride for him settling something warm in Magnus' chest, even if her words make Alec blush. Magnus learns a little more about Clary, that the Lightwoods have all but made her one of their own. That her mother died in an accident not long before she met Jace, and that Clary and Simon are indeed lifelong friends.

He is surprised to hear that Maryse also knows _Luke_ , catching the way she darts her eyes elsewhere and toys with her glass just like Alec does when he's avoiding talking. Alec teases her enough for her to reveal they had once been friends, and from the sound of things there might have even been a _crush_. Magnus can't tell if it was a one-sided thing or reciprocated, but he is _thrilled_ by the idea of having something to tease _Luke_ about for once.

Despite all three of them complaining they are too full, they manage to share a dessert, all of them sighing and pushing back from the table when they are done, adamant they can't move.

"I am glad I don't have any meetings until tomorrow afternoon," Maryse says as she tucks her hair behind an ear.

"Are you still… working?" Magnus asks, berating himself for even asking, not knowing whether it is his place to or not.

"I am winding down my involvement with a number of clients," Maryse replies with a pinched smile. "To be honest, I cannot wait to put the entire business behind me."

"Mom," Alec says softly, "you built that place up. You _and_ dad, you… you worked hard for it."

"We did," Maryse agrees with a bitter smile. "Though your father clearly had vastly different goals than my own. No; it will be good to put this behind me. Move on to something else."

Magnus knows Alec has doubts about how straightforward everything sounds about the agreements over the law practice but doesn't want to say too much about it, trying to show his mother his support. It leaves Magnus at a loss for what to add to the conversation, awkwardly clearing his throat before he even knows what he wants to say.

"Have you… decided what you would like to do next?"

"Not quite," Maryse replies, offering him a bright smile. "I am in discussions with an old friend who would be willing for me to work from their practice. It would mean setting up on my own in effect, but I would still have the freedom to choose clients that I wanted to, work the hours I want, and so on."

"Mom got practically offered a job without even trying for one of the biggest law firms around," Alec adds with a mixture of pride and exasperation.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Magnus says, squeezing his hand.

"It isn't," Alec denies, looking at Maryse, "it's just… I hate the idea of you having to give up _everything_ because of—"

"The alternative is to stay in partnership with a man I no longer have any trust in, either personally or professionally," Maryse replies, her words becoming clipped. "Either way, whichever decision I make regarding my own work, I still cannot do anything about for several more weeks until all the legal issues between your father and I are agreed, and documented."

"Mom. I'm not saying you _should_ stay. I'm saying I wish you didn't have to go through it all."

"Well," Maryse says after draining the last of her wine, "that cannot be helped. But I very much look forward to putting every last part of this behind me."

Magnus thinks that might be easier said than done, especially if she is going to continue living in the family home, but doesn't say a word.

"In any case," Maryse says, smiling brighter again, "I don't want to think about that right now. I have a lovely weekend ahead with my girls. Max has finally had a full month at school without getting into some kind of mischief—"

"He _accidentally_ burned something in class last week," Alec interrupts, smirking.

"Well," Maryse says, fighting not to smile herself, "he hasn't got into _too_ much mischief over the last month. Jace should be back in a few weeks. And my eldest son is smiling like I have never seen him smiling in his entire life—"

" _Mom_ —"

"I am merely pleased to see you so… happy," Maryse says with a warm smile for them both, even if there still is a hint of teasing in her eyes. "It's all a mother could ask for, to see her children happy."

"Yeah, well," Alec says, with a glance at Magnus so he can see how hard he's both blushing and smiling, "I lucked out."

Magnus thinks the same, though gets stuck looking at Alec and can't make his words come out.

* * *

"Where do you want these?"

Magnus turns to see Alec gesturing with the bags in his hands and moves to take them from him, dropping them down on the nearest table. "Just there for now. I will deal with them later."

"You're shopping a lot lately," Alec adds as they go through to the kitchen, running a hand down his back.

"Yes, well. I suppose having so much space means I feel the urge to fill it," Magnus replies, and it is mostly true. But Alec doesn't need to know that his shopping habits are little more than a distraction to stop him thinking of his father.

Not that it's working, of course. And now that Alec's father has confirmed he is working with his own means Magnus feels even more on edge.

"Makes sense," Alec says, gesturing to the coffee machine and beginning to make them coffee when Magnus nods. Though when Magnus passes him to put two cups down by the side of the machine Alec grabs Magnus by the waist to spin him, cupping his face to drag him in for a kiss.

"What was that for?" Magnus says as he slots his hands in Alec's jean pockets and rests against him when Alec leans back against the counter.

"'Cos. I haven't kissed you for at _least_ an hour."

"Well. I am yours to kiss whenever you want," Magnus replies, humming his way into another and closing his eyes to the feel of Alec's hands sweeping up his arms.

"I know," Alec tells him, stealing another kiss before wrapping him up in a hug.

"Even if I am troublesome, and difficult, and—"

"When have I called you any of those things?" Alec asks, frowning as he sways him.

"But they are true. I may not be able to help who my father is. But it's—"

"You think I can help who _my_ dad is?"

"It's different," Magnus says, waving his hand in dismissal. "I have all kinds of—"

"Neither one of us is perfect," Alec says cutting him off and shaking his head. "And neither are they."

"No, I suppose not. Although—"

"Although _nothing_ ," Magnus," Alec says, kissing him again. "Please. Let's not go over this _again_."

Magnus closes his eyes as Alec wraps him up in a hug, and Magnus tries to concentrate only on the warmth here in his arms. There have been so many _moments_ since Alec shared the news about their dads working together, where things have just been _off_ between them. He understands why Alec doesn't want to talk about it, since whenever they do Magnus can't seem to stop _snapping_ at him.

He knows it isn't fair, and Magnus curses himself every time a hurtful word falls from his mouth. But Magnus feels so out of his depth with the idea that his father is _here_ , and _planning_ something, that every time he lets himself get lost in his thoughts about it there is another hurt look waiting for him on Alec's face.

"And the fact that our fathers are conspiring to do who knows what doesn't concern you?" Magnus finds himself saying, feeling Alec sag against him before nudging him back.

Alec's father telling Alec that he knew Magnus and his father were related when the conversation wasn't prompted at all has caused several sleepless nights for Magnus all week. It hasn't helped with these biting words, and Alec has every reason to be looking at him with the reservation he currently is. He's probably expecting more harshness from him, Magnus thinks, hands twitching to reach for him but not able to make himself.

"What does that have to do with us?" Alec asks, focusing his attention on making their coffee.

"You don't think my father could use the fact that we are dating against you?"

"What could your father do to me?" Alec asks with incredulous laughter, crossing the kitchen to the fridge for milk. "Magnus—"

"He is a cruel, vindictive man, who would stop at nothing to—"

"To do _what_?"

Alec spins to look at him, clearly fighting to contain his frustration, and Magnus feels awful for it. He stares back at Alec, making himself wait before answering. And since he doesn't know what to say, takes one of the cups extended in Alec's hand, then leans in to kiss him on the cheek.

"Do you have your phone?" Magnus asks, tilting his head towards the living room so Alec knows to follow.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Give me a moment," Magnus says as he kisses him again then makes his way to his bedroom, telling himself this subject change will be a permanent one, and that he won't speak of his father again. Not today at least, when the sun is shining, he and Alec have spent most of the day in and out of shops and cafes, and their plans for the rest of the day involve lounging here on the couch doing little else until Alec has to go home.

Magnus pulls open a drawer and slides out the silver photo frame he's been meaning to fill since he bought it and returns to the living room to find Alec sprawled out on the couch.

"Is this why you bought that photo printer?" Alec asks with a smile, already up and across the room to go through the bags and pull the printer out.

"It is," Magnus agrees, gesturing to a socket when Alec wants to set the printer up. "I wanted to add a picture of us to the ones I already have. It seems a little overdue now."

Alec follows the point of Magnus' finger to the solid frames already sitting on a shelf then wraps his hands around Magnus' waist and smiles. He pulls him into a long, slow kiss that settles the anxious feeling in Magnus' heart. Magnus slides his hands up Alec's chest to curl over his shoulders, letting himself lean on Alec and telling himself to forget about anything else.

"You know. Izzy took a couple pictures of us when we went to dinner that time," Alec says, swaying Magnus in his arms.

"She did?"

"She did. And at the ceremony. You wanna see?"

"I do," Magnus agrees, taking Alec's hand when he wriggles his fingers and sinking down in the couch beside him.

"She sent me these... I don't remember when, now. I kept meaning to show you, but, I kept forgetting."

Magnus ducks under Alec's arm when he raises it, smiling as he scrolls through the images on his phone. There is a photo of the two of them standing side by side on the field at Alec's university, smiling at one another as they lean together, hands tangled down by their sides. There is another, with Alec smiling at Magnus across a restaurant table so full of affection that Magnus has to kiss him for it, earning himself a bemused snort of laughter before he looks at Alec's phone again.

Without question, the final photo waiting for him is Magnus' winner. It's of the two of them outside The Lucky Cat, wrapped around one another mid-kiss. They look so happy, so content with one another, that Magnus could swear he gets a sense of _home_ just from looking at it. Then scolds himself for being far too sentimental, covering it up with a nuzzle into Alec's neck.

"I like this one."

"Me too," Alec says, kissing his forehead. "Izzy put some filters and stuff on."

"It's perfect," Magnus replies, turning to cup Alec's cheek, drawing him into a kiss again.

"Let's get this thing into a frame, huh?" Alec says when they pull back, smiling at him so hard Magnus' cheeks ache for echoing it.

Together they figure out how to use the printer, laughing when the paper won't go in the right way. They set up the Bluetooth, with Alec cursing under his breath when it takes three times to connect, and Magnus hiding his snort of laughter when Alec objects to being called _impatient_. Alec takes off the back of the frame and lines the photo up perfectly, and together they find a place for it on Magnus' shelf next to the other frames already there. Alec hugs him from behind, pressing a kiss to his shoulder before tucking his chin over it.

"You think maybe I can get a photo? For my place?"

"Of course," Magnus says, leaning his head against Alec's. "Do you want the same one?"

"Yeah," Alec says, pressing a kiss into his neck and squeezing him.

"Izzy takes a good picture."

"She does. She'll be pleased to see her handiwork on display."

"Oh?"

"Mom and Izzy are coming over for dinner tonight. Some… family meeting, or catch up, or something; I don't know. That's why I can only stay a couple more hours."

"Your father isn't coming?"

"He's not _invited_ ," Alec retorts with a harder kiss to his shoulder before they return to the couch. "I told my parents I wouldn't see them in the same room again until they stopped fighting like kids. It's not helping any of us."

"I suppose not," Magnus agrees, not comfortable speaking about Alec's father but also unable to stop himself thinking about him.

"You're thinking again," Alec says, and Magnus smiles for the kiss smacked to his shoulder.

"Sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Talk to me."

"I suppose I… I can't stop wondering why your father knows about _me_. I mean, the connection between me, and my father."

"I guess your dad must have told him," Alec says, shrugging. "He just said that he knew you were his son, and that was it."

Magnus has asked him about it so many times, that it's not a surprise Alec's answer comes with an eye roll.

"He didn't have anything to say about you and I being together?" Magnus asks, already seeing frustration begin to creep back into Alec's expression.

"Why would he?"

"Does he not consider it… unethical?"

"Magnus," Alec says, laughing and turning a little towards him. "How—what about this _unethical_? Your business is not your dad's business. I don't work for my dad's business. There is no tie between you, and him, or me, that would make any problem for us."

"Why would he even mention that he knows I am his son if that wasn't the case?" Magnus asks, unable to stop going over it.

His father _must_ have something in mind, some plan he has involving _him_ , if he is now involving his lawyer.

"Look—"

"Alec—"

" _Magnus_ ," Alec says, slotting his fingers through his hair as though he's trying to make himself busy, or at least do something with his hands. "Why are you making this into such a big deal?"

"This _is_ a big deal," Magnus all but shouts back at him, his temper succumbing to his nerves.

"I don't think it is."

"Are you telling me your dad doesn't have a problem with you dating the son of a client whose practices are… whatever he is up to, currently?"

"It… I wouldn't care even if he did. My personal life has nothing to do with him."

"There is more to this than just our _personal life_ , Alec. My entire livelihood could be—"

"Magnus," Alec says, his voice beginning to rise, "your work is _nothing_ to do with your father. Your _life_ is nothing to do with him. Why are you even letting him get to you like this? He's got nothing he can do to you."

"Oh," Magnus retorts. "Then I will tell the FDA when they come to investigate my business and stop me from trading altogether when my father makes a bogus claim about me that _you_ don't think there is anything he can do to me. I'm sure that will help."

"Magnus, stop."

"What would you suggest I do then? How do I explain this to my clients without having every single one of them turn their back on me? How do you—you know my client list, Alec. Do you imagine for even a second that any of them would want any kind of association with a man whose practices are being questioned, or tied with whatever my father has done?"

"Magnus—"

"And _you_ ," Magnus says, pulling back from him. "If I am to be pursued by this… if my father decides to make good on his threats. How am I to know he won't find a way to plant something to make it appear that—"

"You really think he has the resources to do something like that?"

"I would put nothing past him," Magnus replies, thinking of his father in his store again and wondering if he should have Dot go through everything they have on display. "Would _you_ be happy to be associated with a guy who might be dragged through who knows what legal—"

"Magnus," Alec says, waving his hand to stop him. "Don't you think you're overthinking all of this just a little?"

"Well. Don't _you_ think—"

"You keep _saying_ this is gonna be a problem, Magnus," Alec says, though his laughter is full of exasperation that is making Magnus' stomach start to knot. "You keep… this isn't the problem you're making this out to be. It _isn't_. It won't be."

"Alexander. My father—"

"Is an unscrupulous bastard who thinks of nothing but essentially poisoning people to make money out of it, and wants to drag his son down with him when he is _nothing_ to you. Why would you let him?"

"I'm not."

"But you _are_ ," Alec insists, squeezing his hands, though Magnus is aware of the distance he's keeping between them. "You are, Magnus. Every time you worry that this is gonna hurt your work. Every time you think he can do something that's gonna impact _us_. Every time you think you're on your own in this. You're letting him _win_."

"I don't—"

"I'm gonna go," Alec says, kissing him as he cradles the back of his head. "I'm going, because you're not letting me in, and you're talking yourself into this being a problem, when it's not."

Magnus' heart starts to race as he watches Alec get up from the couch, frozen to the spot not knowing what to do. Alec has never talked about leaving before, always staying until the very last minute even if he has somewhere else to be. "But—"

"And I want you to call me," Alec continues, raising an eyebrow, "when you've calmed down. I'm not going anywhere. I don't know how many ways you need me to say it or how many times you'll have to hear it before it sticks. But I'm not."

"But you're—"

"Getting some air," Alec finishes for him, wrapping him up in a hug. "I need to give us both some space with this. Just… I'm pissed that your dad still has this hold on you. I'm even more pissed that you don't think enough of yourself to just… ignore whatever tactics he tries. And that… Magnus. Every single person who's ever made you feel you're not _worth_ something? Seriously. I want to find, and just… shoot them right between the eyes with one of my arrows."

Magnus laughs at the hard-smacked kiss to his brow, gripping on to Alec's arms for the force of it so he doesn't fall backward.

"Now," Alec says, smiling at him. "I'm going for a run or something, so I don't say anything I don't mean about how… convoluted you're making this."

" _Convoluted_?"

"Yes," Alec agrees, kissing him again. "If you think after how long it took us to get here that I'm walking away from you, for _anything_. If you think that I won't fight for this—for _us_ —even if things _were_ to get complicated with your dad. Then… I don't think you've been paying attention to a single word I've been saying about any of this."

"Alexander."

"I'm not going anywhere," Alec adds, raising an eyebrow again. "I mean, I am right _now_. But even if the worst happens, and everything you're telling yourself your dad is capable of doing happens. I'm here for you. You just have to _let_ me be here for you. Okay?"

Magnus nods, hearing nothing but a ringing in his ears as he watches Alec walk away from him, still standing there in the middle of his living room as he hears Alec close the door.

* * *

Magnus wakes ashamed. Embarrassed with himself for once again overreacting, and now has to add to his worries that Alec is on the brink of walking away. Though he shouldn't be worried. Alec's words were nothing but reassuring, even if Magnus wishes he'd just decided to stay.

His sleep was fitful anyway, tossing and turning for most of the night wishing that Alec was right there beside him. That Alec hasn't contacted him again since his outburst sits heavy on Magnus' mind every minute he can't keep his thoughts busy. He keeps picking up his phone to text him, but can't think of a single thing to say.

Magnus has a meeting with a new client that he uses as a marker of time, deciding that he'll call Alec once he's on his way home from it. Though by the time it's over and he's mentally slotting the products they want into his schedule, indignance takes over, demanding that Alec be the one to contact _him_.

This argument with himself over who is to blame for the predicament he's currently in goes back and forth on the long walk that Magnus decides to take home to clear his head. By the time his apartment building is looming up in his vision, Magnus is furious. At himself, his father, even at Alec despite this not being his fault.

A hot bath, Magnus decides, thinking that sinking beneath warm bubbles to shut the world out for a little while might be good for him. He will indulge in a little time for himself and then will message Alec. Unless Alec decides to message him first, of course.

"Magnus."

Magnus isn't paying attention as he walks into the lobby, freezing in place at the unfamiliar voice. He turns from waiting for the elevator to find a man in an expensive suit observing him, and shakes his head.

"Yes?"

"I'm Robert," the man says as he steps towards him extending his hand for Magnus to shake.

"Robert?"

"Robert Lightwood," the man says as they shake hands. "Alec's father. Magnus, we need to talk."

* * *

 


	18. Chapter 18

 

"What… are you doing here?" Magnus says, adjusting the bag on his shoulder and telling himself to keep calm. "Is Alec okay?"  
  
"Alec is fine," Robert says with a small smile. "Furious at me, as he always is of late. But the last time I spoke with him, he was fine."  
  
"Then. What are you doing here?" Magnus asks, wondering when the last time was that Alec spoke to his dad. It isn't as though he's made it easy for Alec to talk about him all that much, Magnus realizes and is filled with guilt for. Though that Robert knew where to find him puts Magnus on the defensive and on edge. "Did Alec give you my address?"  
  
"No," Robert says, slotting his hands in his pockets as he looks around the lobby, "no. That was your father."  
  
"How does my father know where I live?" Magnus demands, panic starting to rise in him.  
  
"Your father is… your father," Robert replies, which both tells Magnus everything and nothing at once.  
  
"What are you doing here? Does Alec know you are here?"  
  
"No," Robert says with a soft groan, "he doesn't. And I'd prefer to keep it that way."  
  
"I will not lie to him."  
  
"Even if it's for his own good?"  
  
"I don't see how lying to Alec about _anything_ would be  _for his own good_."  
  
"Can we talk somewhere other than here?" Robert says with a quick glance around them. "This is nothing to do with Alec. If anything, I would like for him not to be involved at all. Though since he is involved with _you_ , I'm not sure there is any way to avoid that."  
  
Magnus doesn't like the insinuation in his voice. He also doesn't want Robert in his apartment, though the idea of suggesting they go to a cafe, or bar or something nearby seems silly. Besides, Robert is still Alec's father, whatever else is going on. So the last impression Magnus wants to make is one that is rude. Even with all that Robert has done.  
  
"Of course," Magnus says, nodding towards the elevator which they ride in silence and feels like it takes twice as long as normal to reach his floor.  
  
"It's nice," Robert says once Magnus has shown him in to his apartment. "Alec said you had a great view."  
  
Magnus is not comfortable with Robert knowing anything about him but doesn't want to voice that out loud. "Can I get you something to drink?"  
  
"No," Robert says, coming to a stop in front of a print on Magnus' wall and studying it. "No, this won't take long."  
  
"Then—"  
  
"Your father would like a… meeting," Robert says, turning to look at him. The way he is staring at him leaves Magnus wondering if it's in disapproval.  
  
"You're running errands for him now?" he retorts, crossing his arms tight across his chest.  
  
"I'm doing him a favor," Robert replies, studying Magnus so hard it's starting to make him uncomfortable.  
  
"And what do you get out of it?"  
  
Robert smiles, shaking his head. "He wants to meet with you to discuss—"  
  
"What he always wants to discuss," Magnus finishes for him, turning away and beginning to pace. "He's never sent a _lawyer_ to ask before."  
  
"Then you must realize how serious he is," Robert retorts. "Magnus. He only wants—"  
  
"To ruin my life."  
  
"That his son takes an interest in his business—"  
  
" _Interest_?" Magnus retorts. "No. He wants to sell illegal products through my business in the hope of… hiding the things he is selling elsewhere. He hopes to take my work down with his if he can't get his own way. He wants to take everything I have ever made for myself—"  
  
"That you would not have made for yourself without his help," Robert finishes for him, staring back at him when Magnus comes to a stop.  
  
It isn't true. Magnus knows it isn't, knows he would have found another way to become qualified and to train for everything he does without his father's money. His constant wish that his father had never set him up a fund in the first place so there would be one less tie between them taunts Magnus as Robert continues to stare at him. Yet this is where he is, and no amount of wishing he could go back to do things differently is going to change what is happening now.

Though that is not what is troubling Magnus in this moment. That his father has spun this story to _Robert_ about his money being the only thing that gave Magnus a chance at his own business goads Magnus, for the idea it's put in Robert's head about _him_. It makes him nervous, makes him think of what _Alec_ must think of him. Then reminds Magnus that he is yet to message Alec, and Alec hasn't found the time to message _him_. What if his father has put ideas in Robert's head about him that he has now passed on to Alec?

"All he asks," Robert says as he holds his hands up in a placating gesture, "is that you meet. Talk. Discuss your options."

"My options are to keep as far away from my father as possible if I want to keep anything resembling my life."  
  
"You have other options."  
  
"No," Magnus argues, "I have the options my father is trying to give me. Of which I want none."  
  
"You make this all sound so… scandalous," Robert says, smiling. "What is wrong with a father wanting his son to become part of his… empire?"  
  
"When it's _my_ father? Everything."  
  
"And yet every time you reject him, every time you push him away, he still keeps trying to reach out," Robert points out. "Perhaps _he_ is not the one that is at fault in this."

"Do you always get so _invested_ with the personal lives of your clients?" Magnus says through gritted teeth, determined to keep his anger from showing.

"Let's just say, the… issue your father is facing with you, _appeals_ to me as a father."

Magnus has no idea what he should make of that. "I don't know what you think it is I can do for him."

"Just… meet with him," Robert says, pulling a folded sheet of paper from his jacket pocket and holding it out for Magnus. "I said I would pass this new number on. Your father assumes you have blocked or conveniently lost all the others he has used to contact you in the past."  
  
"I can't believe you're still having anything to do with him when you know—"  
  
"All I _know_ is that it is good to have people around you when things get difficult," Robert says. "Friends. Acquaintances. People who might be of assistance when you need it. It is far better than being alone."  
  
Magnus has no idea if that is supposed to be a threat, or an explanation. He pinches the paper tight enough in his fingers to make it crease but doesn't move to slide it open.  
  
"Maybe, Magnus," Robert says with a glance over him Magnus thinks is calculating, "you should ask yourself what it is you're so nervous about."  
  
"I'm not _nervous_."  
  
"What is it that you fear so much that you keep running every time your father?"  
  
"I just don't want to be associated with—"  
  
"If you don't want to be _associated_ with him," Robert says, "then why are you still in contact with him at all?"  
  
"Because he won't take no for an answer," Magnus argues back, pleading with his heart to not be racing like it is.  
  
"Or. Because you don't want your father around, but want him there just in case you need something from him. In which case," Robert adds as he moves towards the door, "which of you is it really, who is manipulating the other?"  
  
"I—"  
  
"I would rather you not tell Alec that I am here," Robert says as he pulls the door open. "I don't want him to be involved in any of this. This is _business_. I don't want it to have any impact on my family."  
  
Magnus is sure this is a threat, a comment on he and Alec being together despite the work that goes on between their fathers. He opens his mouth to retort but Robert is gone before he can get a word out, leaving Magnus to stumble forward to close the door.

* * *

All thoughts of taking a bath and some time to himself to relax Magnus pushes to one side. He rushes through to his apothecary stripping out of his jacket and tossing his bag on the couch as he goes, determined to go through every record he has. Magnus checks the validity, date, and quality assurance of every single product he's ever made anyone, ensuring all of his ingredients are from traceable, credible sources. Despite already knowing that they are.

All his certificates are checked, along with the record he keeps of every time he's rejected any involvement from his father. Magnus even has the date recorded that he returned the money his father gave him as a trust fund, mentally deciding this is the date he severed all ties with him.

Magnus even goes through the file he loathes the most to reassure himself he truly has nothing to worry about. In all the years he has been making herbal remedies Magnus can recall six complaints in total, remembering every case in minute detail. He keeps the details here in this well-thumbed grey file folder that he sometimes reads when he wants to punish himself, though can recall everything word for word.

Every single case has been the result of clients either having expectations beyond his capabilities, or not following his instructions as he has guided them to do. Magnus pulls the most difficult case from the folder to read over, half-mumbling the words on the page out loud for how often he has read it through.

Not long after he had opened The Lucky Cat a man had approached him at the counter, shiftily looking around the store several times before telling him what he wanted. Magnus had remained professional throughout, talking him through all his alternatives and their possible side-effects, only selling him the horny goat weed capsules after the man had assured him he understood.

The man's wife had come storming into the store several days later accusing Magnus of trying to kill her husband. Magnus' questions about whether or not he was taking any prescribed medication he had apparently glossed over, because the capsules had interacted with the tablets he took for high blood pressure, sending his pressure so low that he had collapsed.

Magnus had endured several long months of discussions with a lawyer when the couple had tried to take him to court. The wife came into the store several more times accusing Magnus of all sorts of things, including assisting her husband in having an affair.

Despite the case being dismissed and Magnus having no reason to be concerned it still plays on his mind, still vividly recalling the screaming anger he had received across the counter at The Lucky Cat. He carefully reads through the pages until he's satisfied there is nothing else he could have done, then slots them back into the folder and files it away.

There is nothing he can find that he thinks would raise any questions, even if his father does try to cause him any kind of problem by reporting his business for things he hasn't done. In fact, Magnus thinks as he pushes back from his desk hours later, all he has done here is prove yet again, that there is no reason for his father to have the hold over him that he does.

Magnus tries to distract himself with work, once again pushing back the thought of trying to talk to Alec because he doesn't know what to say. He finds himself scrolling through their messages when what he was supposed to do was check up on an address for a delivery he needs to arrange. Alec smiles up at him from his screen, and Magnus finds it hard to look away.

With a pot of tea and the last of the cookies he bought that are Alec's favorites since Alec hasn't visited him here all week, Magnus demands to himself that he focus, clicking open a new order of work. He mixes up the eucalyptus, spearmint, and German chamomile oils in the carrier oil needed for a remedy to reduce a fever, closing his eyes to the memory the smell of it invokes.

Magnus thinks it must be his earliest memory, and because he remembers so little of his mother he has always clung tight to any traces of things that remind him of her, desperate not to forget her altogether. This treatment he remembers her dabbing on to his neck and the bottoms of his feet when he had a fever as a child. He can still feel her arms around and rocking him in her lap as she comforted him through it. Still hears the soft lullaby she sung to him even if he doesn't remember all of the words.

Magnus can't be with his own thoughts. He gulps back his tea and throws on his jacket, deciding he will deliver the treatment himself. Though it only makes things worse for him when he arrives at his client's apartment. Magnus watches the mother gently rocking her young son after she has dropped the oil on his neck and feet as Magnus has instructed, and is furious with himself for how it tightens his throat, makes his heart flutter in protest, and tears prick in his eyes.

After a long walk home Magnus tries to convince himself to eat dinner, spending most of the time pushing the unwanted food around his plate. He goes back into his apothecary, determined to keep his mind occupied on anything but what he is avoiding thinking about. Magnus works until late, giving in to thinking of Alec as the last of the day drains from the sky as he watches. Holding his head in his hands against the desk and asking himself over and over why he is yet to call him.

Cursing himself out loud as he pushes back from his desk, Magnus snatches up his phone and types out a message to Alec. But he doesn't send it, deletes his words before dialing Alec's number, meaning to press the phone to his ear and be soothed by the sound of Alec's voice.

Magnus doesn't even let the call connect. This mess with his father is seeping into everything, every word he says to Alec not seeming to come out right. He doesn't trust himself to speak to Alec right now, doesn't even know what he wants to say to him. He slides his phone across his desk and pushes himself to his feet, determined he won't speak to Alec without a clear head.

* * *

Magnus wakes with a start and reaches for his phone, his heart thudding for having not taken the time to contact Alec. He's let more than two days pass without a single word for him, and from the looks of things, Alec isn't in a hurry to message him first.

Since they first exchanged numbers, not a single day has gone by that Magnus remembers when there hasn't been a least a couple of messages between them. Magnus feels sick that he has let this distance grow between them when there is no need for it at all. He quickly types out a message pleading with Alec to meet him, staring at his phone and adamant he won't move until he gets an answer back. Though before he hits send changes his mind yet again, determined he will speak to Alec in person.

Magnus paces his apartment, knowing he's probably missed Alec already before he leaves for work. He remembers Alec telling him about some difficult meetings he has in the mornings some of the days this week, and could climb the walls for how anxious he is to get to him anyway.

He can't concentrate, can't even think of the looming threat of his father, that sheet of folded up paper from Robert still crinkled in his jacket pocket when he storms out needing fresh air. Magnus walks without thinking, taking long loops around the streets nearest to the university, and even persuading himself to stop in a cafe for breakfast just to kill some time.

He doesn't taste a thing. Magnus can barely tell if the coffee is hot or cold, and the pastry he bites into might as well be cardboard. There is a nervous flutter in his stomach that won't let him think of anything but Alec, a constant whisper that he's left things too long.

His chair scrapes back in protest as Magnus jumps to his feet unable to wait a moment longer. It might barely be eleven in the morning, but he has to see Alec _now_. Magnus forces himself back to the cafe counter ordering Alec a barbecue chicken sandwich for lunch along with a large slice of chocolate cake that he thinks he'll like. He picks up a coffee as well for good measure, even though he knows Alec likes the coffee in the university canteen.

Magnus makes his way through the university getting lost twice as he tries to find Alec's office. He stops outside a doorway thinking he hears Alec's voice, ducking his head around the corner to make sure. His heart surges at the same time his stomach plummets for watching Alec leaning over his desk engrossed in work, leaving Magnus torn between rushing forward and spinning on his heel.

There are other people working on the other side of the office, who either look at Magnus curiously as he stands there, or haven't even noticed he is here. Magnus thinks to make a glib comment about university security to get Alec's attention, but then Alec is looking up, double-taking when he sees him, and giving him a startled smile.

"Magnus."

"I bought you lunch," Magnus blurts out rushing the few steps forward that he needs to reach Alec's desk, sliding the paper bags and coffee cup across to him with his own uncertain smile.

"Thank you."

"I know it's early—too early for lunch—"

"It's okay," Alec says, his smile a little more genuine as he sits up straighter in his chair. "Thank you."  

They stare at each other without speaking for what feels like far too many seconds, leaving Magnus uncomfortable and sure he isn't welcome here.

"I should… go—"

"I can take a few minutes," Alec says as Magnus turns, jumping up from his chair and sliding it beneath his desk.

"I don't mean to interrupt—"

"It's fine," Alec says, gesturing for Magnus to follow him from the office.

Magnus' hand twitches down by his side desperate to reach out and take his hand, only resisting doing so for being in Alec's place of work. Alec holds his hand up asking Magnus to wait then ducks through a doorway to their left, beckoning for Magnus to follow then closing the door behind him.

Magnus takes a quick look around the small lecture theatre, wondering if he should sit, or stand, or perch on a desk. Alec's face goes from delighted, to guarded, and back to delighted within the space of a few seconds as he looks at him. Then Alec charges forward, grabs and wraps him up in a hug before Magnus even has the chance to say hello.

"What are you doing here?" Alec asks softly, though is holding him so close Magnus knows it isn't in reprimand, only because he's so pleased to see him.

"I needed to see you. I'm sorry I just showed up, but—"

"I wasn't sure I was gonna hear from you," Alec says, mumbling it into Magnus' shoulder as he holds him tight.

"Ever?" Magnus says, laughing and wanting to ask Alec which one of them is being overdramatic now. Alec just squeezes him harder, leaving Magnus not knowing what to think.

"How are you?" Alec asks with a weak smile when they pull back, though Magnus realizes from the way Alec is holding on to him he has no intention of letting him go.

Alec looks worried, and lonely, and like he hasn't slept all that well at all. Magnus doesn't like it, doesn't want to think he's contributed to whatever is playing on his mind. And right now he doesn't want to ask, just wants to be with Alec, forget about anything else.

"I'm okay," Magnus replies, and to save either of them from having to ask questions leans in to kiss him. Magnus molds himself around him, focusing on the heat of Alec against him and the sweep of his hands up his back. Alec squeezes him into another hug then rests his forehead against Magnus' before he swallows hard and offers up another half-smile.

"So. What have you been doing?" Alec asks, toying with his fingers.

"Well. I went through all of my paperwork—and I mean _all_. There is not a single thing that is out of place or cannot be accounted for, in case anyone decides to come looking."

"That's great, Magnus," Alec says, slotting their hands together. "At least you… if everything is in order, then you have absolutely nothing to worry about."

"Well," Magnus says, smiling, "my father is still here, and trying to meet with me. There are plenty of things to worry about. I—"

Alec kisses him quiet, then leans their foreheads together again and sighs hard. "I missed you."

"I missed you too."

"I kept thinking that you… I don't know, Magnus," Alec says softly, looking away from him. "I'm so happy you're… I'm so happy you're _here_."

"I shouldn't have left it so long," Magnus admits, squeezing his arm, "and for that, I am sorry."

"We're here now," Alec replies, kissing him again.

"Yes," Magnus says with a quick glance towards the door, "we are."

Alec cups his face drawing him into a longer kiss, and Magnus is sure he can feel the relief seeping from him as they press up close. Magnus slots his hands around Alec's waist and stumbles against him, closing his eyes as he chases Alec's mouth.

"I guess I could take an early lunch," Alec whispers, smiling in between kisses.

"I suppose you should have some perks of being a _director_."

"Yeah," Alec agrees, his hands sweeping down to cup Magnus' ass, "I should."

"Do you want to get out of here?" Magnus asks, sweeping his hands up Alec's arms.

"Where?"

"We could… go to yours," Magnus says. "Your apartment is technically nearest to here."

Alec's face clouds over, and he shifts to hold Magnus at arms' length.

"I don't think that's a great idea right now."  
  
"Because?"  
  
"Magnus," Alec says, sighing and slumping in front of him, fingers still toying at Magnus' sides. "It's been a difficult… it's been a difficult couple of _days_ , okay?"

"What happened?" Magnus asks, immediately struck with guilt for not being there for Alec when Alec is always there for him. He reaches out and takes Alec's hands, squeezing them in encouragement.

"Mom's… I don't know what the latest argument is about, or… if something else has happened to make it worse. But I… when I went home the other night after… I was at yours," Alec says, darting his eyes away from Magnus, "Mom and Izzy were coming for dinner. They were already waiting. Dad had been… I don't even know."

"It's okay, Alec," Magnus says, trying now to give Alec the support he should have when he was only thinking of himself.

"Anyway," Alec says, shaking his head. "Bottom line is, they had a really bad argument—Mom and Dad—and Mom's refusing to go home. She was going to get a hotel for a few nights, look for an apartment or something. But all her assets, her money, everything, they're… because they're all in joint names with my _dad_ , she's kind of stuck."

"Meaning?" Magnus asks, struck with further guilt for realizing this is probably why Alec hasn't had the chance to call him.  
  
"She's staying with me," Alec says, closing his eyes. "I don't know for how long, or what she plans on doing next, but. I couldn't see her having no place to—"  
  
"Of course she should stay with you," Magnus says, even if it acts as a cold shower to where his thoughts were heading. "Especially if she didn't have anywhere else to go."  
  
"She didn't. Well. I'm sure she _did_. But it just… she's been through so much. I wanted to… I needed to do this for her."  
  
"Of course," Magnus agrees, leaning in to kiss him, "she is your mother."  
  
"Yeah," Alec says, frowning. "I just hope this doesn't all blow up in my face."  
  
"Why would it?"  
  
"Well. I told my dad not to visit. Told him to just… not come anywhere near the apartment to give her a break. So of course, he keeps showing up."

"I see."

"Of course, Izzy's been back and forth bringing Mom clothes and whatever she wants from the house. Magnus," Alec says, laughing and groaning at the same time, "she's… I know she doesn't mean to, but it's like she's already taken my apartment over."

"That must be… difficult."

"It is," Alec agrees. "Plus she's got all these _meetings_ she needs to attend to finalize things from their law practice."

"You have your parents' clients coming to your apartment?" Magnus asks, horrified at the thought of his father being amongst those showing up.

"No, nothing like that. But her divorce lawyer came there, and this friend who she's probably gonna be working for. Magnus," Alec says, dropping his head against Magnus' shoulder, "I love my Mom. I do. But it's… it's hard right now. It feels like what Mom wants more than anything is to have something else to control in her life so she doesn't think about what's going on with the divorce, and the business."

"So… what does that mean?"

"It means," Alec says, sighing, "that she wants to know everything about what I'm doing, all the time. Offering helpful _suggestions_ , ideas about where to move furniture to _optimize space_. I'm not saying she doesn't have a point for some things, but—"

"But it's your home," Magnus finishes for him, softly squeezing Alec's hand.

"Yeah," Alec agrees, sighing, and playing with Magnus' fingers.

"So…"

"Mom could really just… she should maybe have her own space for a while," Alec adds, frustrated fingers slotting through his hair before he throws his head back. "I don't mind, obviously, that she's staying with me. But she's… I don't know, Magnus. I kind of felt like I should just… leave her alone for a couple of days. For my sake, as much as hers. I don't want to be snapping at her when I get frustrated with her ideas when she's just… trying to distract herself."

"Well. You are welcome to stay at mine whenever you want," Magnus says, already thinking of waking up with Alec in the morning and excited for it. They haven't fallen asleep together in days.  
  
"Actually," Alec says, avoiding his eyes, "I asked Steven if I could spend a few nights at his. Mom wasn't… I just needed to get out of there. I didn't know where else to go."  
  
"I see," Magnus says, telling himself he should not be getting worked up by this, should not be hurt that his boyfriend is choosing somewhere else to stay other than his own home. That there is absolutely no reason for _jealousy_ of all things to be flaring in his gut.  
  
"It's just… things are weird between you and me right now," Alec says, hesitating before reaching out to slot his fingers through Magnus' again. "I didn't want… I didn't want to just assume anything. Not when you have so much going on for you right now."  
  
"Have I not told you on more than one occasion that you are to make yourself at home in my home?"  
  
"And haven't I said the same to you a hundred times over, but then gone and moved my Mom in—temporarily?" Alec retorts. "I don't… you're always welcome at mine. I just thought maybe it'd feel… weird, with my mom being literally down the hall."  
  
"When of course at _Steve's—_ "  
  
"Steven's been there for me through all kinds of stuff in my life, you know that," Alec retorts, his eyebrow raising in the way Magnus has seen it do so many times before he starts to show his anger. "You've got nothing to worry about, okay? It just made sense—"  
  
"Instead of staying with _me—_ "  
  
"Magnus," Alec says, his voice calm and controlled even if there is fury raging behind his eyes. "You keep shutting me out with this stuff with your dad. You keep accusing me of not understanding, and… I don't even know what it is you keep accusing me of. Or what I'm supposed to not be understanding when you're barely telling me anything at all."  
  
"I—"  
  
"But I'm not going anywhere. I just… think it's better if we're not… that we both have a little space while all this is happening. I'm here for you, whatever _is_ happening, but you… you need to let me in so I can _do_ that."   

"How can you be _here for me_ if you need to be away from me?" Magnus retorts, telling his voice that it has no right to be trembling the way that it is. "You seem so sure that the answer to everything is giving people _space_. Your _mother_. _Me_. You—"

"Magnus," Alec says leaning in to kiss him, and resting his forehead against Magnus' as he sighs. "I don't want us to keep arguing about everything. _Anything_."

"Well. One sure fire way for us not to argue _at all_ is for you to continue to avoid me," Magnus says before he can stop himself, gritting his teeth as he watches Alec flinch.

Alec closes his eyes again, fists in tight balls down by his sides. Then he's leaning in to kiss Magnus on the cheek and squeezing his hips. "Call me."

"Should I go through _Steven_ to contact you now?" Magnus retorts, that jealousy coloring his every word even though he knows there is no need for it.

"Is this what being in a relationship is all about?" Alec blurts out then looking crestfallen, and angry, but more than anything, confused.  
  
"What—what do you mean?"  
  
"This," Alec says, waving between them in clear exasperation. "Things get tough and you just… do everything you can to push me away? Won't talk to me about what is going on with you with all of this?"  
  
"I already told you," Magnus says, trying to stop his voice from rising. "You know everything."  
  
"No," Alec says, shaking his head, and turning away from him, getting as far as the door before he continues speaking. "Obviously I don't, Magnus."  
  
"But—"  
  
"You told me about your dad. About all this… business stuff that's clearly not all that legal. You told me he threatened your work, and that… basically, he's been nothing but a bully your entire life. But that's it. That's all of it," Alec adds, prowling back towards him. "I don't… Magnus, there has to be more to this."  
  
"And what if there isn't?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Alec demands as he comes to a stop about a foot from Magnus.

"It means, that what if this is _it_? If this is all I am, and all these… problems, and difficulties are all just… part of what it means to be with me? What then?"

Alec's jaw clenches, his eyes narrow, and Magnus can tell he is trying to bite his tongue.

"I'm not _Camille—_ "

"This is nothing to do with _Camille_ ," Magnus snaps back at him, furious that in the midst of everything else that is happening, Alec would bring up _her_.

"I think it is," Alec retorts. "I think it has everything to do with her. And anyone else who you've been with in your life that wasn't… that didn't treat you like you meant anything to them."

"That's not—"

"Who wouldn't drop everything if you wanted to talk about any of this. Or if you needed anything. Magnus," Alec says then, his voice becoming low, and urgent, "whatever is happening in your life isn't a _problem_ to me. It isn't… I've never said that anything with you is _too much_."  
  
"I know that."

"And I told you I wanted to be with you, no matter what," Alec says, looking nothing but defeated.

"Well. You _think_ you want—"

"But you still keep shutting me out," Alec says, his hands flitting down by his sides and reaching up as though he wants to touch him, but doesn't.  
  
"I don't mean to," Magnus replies, even if there are far crueler retorts on the tip of his tongue.  
  
"Maybe you do. Maybe you don't," Alec says, shrugging, though his shoulders remain firmly slumped in defeat. "But I can't… I can't help thinking that maybe you've already decided I'm gonna… that you don't have anyone you can turn to. That you don't have anyone who will be here for you, unconditionally, without question."  
  
"Alexan—"  
  
"Maybe this is just how this is," Alec says, sighing as he pinches his eyes and turns away from him. "Maybe this… maybe I just don't know any better. Maybe fighting is what we're supposed to be doing when I thought we… I thought we were better than that. I hoped we were, anyway."  
  
"But—"  
  
"I'm gonna take off," Alec says, tugging down his sleeves as though he's trying to keep his hands busy whilst avoiding Magnus' eyes. "I need to get back to work. I'm just… I wanna be here for you. I do. But I can't if you just won't talk to me."  
  
"Alec—"  
  
"Call me. Or message me. Or… I don't know, Magnus," Alec says, sighing, and looking sadder than Magnus thinks he's ever seen him. "Just… like I said before. I'm gonna give you some space. Maybe I'm gonna give myself some space. Just… come find me when you're ready, okay?"

"Alec—"

"Please call me," Alec whispers against his temple as he wraps Magnus up in a hug, pressing a long kiss there and dropping his head when he pulls back so Magnus can't even see his face.

Magnus watches him leave, screaming at himself to call out to him, to stop Alec from going anywhere. Following him out of the lecture theatre in a daze and making his way from the building, too numb to know where his feet are carrying him.

* * *

 

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like for us all to reach through the screen for this chapter and give Magnus a big hug.

Magnus walks out of the university grounds in a daze. He tries to work out how things escalated so quickly in his argument with Alec, furious that they've had anything resembling an argument at all. This situation with his father is nothing to _do_ with Alec, he has been nothing but supportive from day one. Though the idea of Alec not turning to _him_ when he needed some support with what is happening with his mother hurts far more than Magnus knows it should.

That Alec is staying at _Steven's_ fills him with fear, dread, and resignation. When did things get so difficult between he and Alec that he wouldn't automatically come to _him_ for a place to stay? Though Magnus tells himself he has nothing to worry about when it comes to Steven. He _knows_ he doesn't; the three of them have spent enough time in each other's company for Magnus to know there is nothing but friendship between Alec and Steven at all.

He has to keep busy. He has to find something to do to occupy his mind. He needs to speak to someone, Magnus thinks, reaching for his phone and staring at it, at a loss for who to call. He needs someone to help him with the mess that is his head. Magnus has spent so much time worrying about his father being here, what impact that will have on his life and business, that it isn't until now he's seeing that his paranoia is impacting his relationship with _Alec_. Or perhaps he just didn't _want_ to see it.

Magnus sets off in the direction of Catarina's only realizing when he is almost there that she is probably at work. His heart is in his throat as he stands on the spot feeling more lost than ever, looking in every direction and having no idea which way to head. He starts walking, all the voices that haunt him coming back to yell for attention at the same time. There are the soft memories of his mother tainted for the presence of his father. There are the hateful words his guardian had spat at him every time something went wrong. There are lovers who have left him, or used him, or _taunted_ him with fleeting ideas of companionship and trust. And there is _Camille_ , who was the worst of them all.

As Magnus walks he is hit by memories of them together. Every park bench and storefront he passes a reminder of a moment he shared with her that he'd thought was something he would cherish, and instead does nothing but sting. A jeweler that Magnus had idly looked through the window of at engagement rings, as Camille had been drawn to the sparkle of diamond necklaces. A coffee shop where she had pushed him away because she didn't want his affection. A street corner where they had argued because everything he did was _too much_ , or just _wrong_.

Alec isn't like that. Alec holds his hand proudly, pulls him into random kisses, loops his arms around him from behind in the queue at the coffee shop they like to go to when they walk around the park. There has never been a moment when Magnus has thought Alec is _embarrassed_ by him, and Magnus didn't realize until now how _new_ that feeling is to him.

He thinks of the ease with which Alec had introduced him to his work colleagues, how Luke's teasing around the poker table had led to Alec doing no more than shrugging and nudging into Magnus' side in solidarity. Alec bellowing at him across a clothes store holding up a t-shirt he thought was hilarious, and the possessive look Alec had got about him when a barista had tried to flirt with him.

Magnus misses him, so badly that he wants to turn on his heel and run to him right this instant. Can almost feel his father's hand around his shoulder holding him back. Camille's disdain for his romantic gestures whispers constantly in his ear to add to the sense that he has _nothing_ to give anyone, and Magnus doesn't know where to turn to escape. His aimless walking comes to a stop outside the hospital, and Magnus tries to force himself to turn away. But he _needs_ someone; Magnus stumbles through the main doors of the hospital taking the familiar hallways to seek out Catarina, immediately hit with guilt when he sees her engrossed in work.

"Magnus."

Magnus freezes from walking away as she calls out to him, and it takes strength he doesn't have to turn back around. Catarina's eyes blow wide as she looks him over, the clipboard she is holding pushed into the hands of a passing colleague as she mumbles about taking an early break. Magnus goes as led into a small office, sitting in a daze on the edge of a faded black couch. He watches Catarina lock the door behind her, takes the cup of water she pushes into his hand. Silence rushes in at him, and for all of Magnus' need to talk he now isn't sure he's capable of getting a single word out.

"Are you gonna tell me what's going on?" Catarina asks as Magnus catches his breath, the look of concern on her face almost his undoing.

"It's nothing."

"Then why do you look like you might be about to pass out?"

Magnus closes his eyes, jostled as Catarina slumps down next to him, leaning into her side as she nudges against his arm.

"Talk to me."

"I think I'm losing him," he says, a shaky sob bursting from his throat.

"Losing who?"

" _Alec_ ," he croaks out, all the anguish he's been holding on to welling up in him at once, letting himself slump until his face is half-pressed against Catarina's shoulder.

"Magnus—"

" _Alec_. I… I think I have messed things up with _Alec_ ," he chokes out, blinded for his tears and unable to stop.

A warm, gentle hand presses on Magnus' arm and is his undoing, causing more hurt to flare up in demand to be let out. He fights leaning into Catarina's touch for all of a few seconds before dropping his head into her neck and hugging her tight.

"Magnus," she says softly as she runs her hands over his back. "Why do you keep doing this to yourself?"

Magnus wants to deny he's done anything, pretend he hasn't been in this exact position so many times before. Tries not to think of how he wept in Catarina's lap when he eventually let himself break down over how Camille had treated him, drowning in his sorrows as both Catarina and Ragnor had tried to comfort him.

"I don't know," Magnus says, then loses himself in more tears.

"Alec seems like a really good guy," Catarina adds after she's given him a few minutes, which is the worst thing for Magnus to hear.

"I _know_ ," he cries, holding on tighter, "I _know_ he is."

"Then—"

"We can't stop _fighting_ ," he adds, unable to rid himself of the image of Alec's resigned face as he'd turned away from him at the university, and all the anger Magnus felt at himself for not calling Alec back rises up in him again.

"Magnus," Catarina says, adjusting her grip a little and in doing so letting Magnus know he's holding on too tight. "You can't keep letting all this… you can't keep bottling stuff up, you know? All this anger, and hurt you keep holding on to because of your dad, and Camille, and—"

"I don't—"

"You live in your dad's shadow," Catarina says softly, sweeping a hand over his shoulders as he drops his arms to loop around her waist. "You still hear the words he's been saying to you since you were a kid. You let how things when down with _Camille_ shape everything you—"

"I do not—"

"Magnus. How long have I known you now? How long?"

"...more years than I want to admit out loud."

"And that… _woman_ ," Catarina says with a huff of exasperated laughter as she nudges her head against Magnus', "that awful excuse of… she messed with you, Magnus. She—I'm not saying she's the only one who messed with your head, 'cos I know there were others before her."

"Camille—"

"She ruined you, Magnus. It was like… you went out looking for the perfect person to prove this idea in your head you've got that the only relationships you were entitled to were full of heartache."

Magnus doesn't want to hear it, doesn't want to hear these words that are so true. This isn't the time for it anyway, Magnus thinks, opening his mouth to protest.

"Magnus," Catarina says, pulling back and ducking so he has to look her in the eye, "your dad's here messing with you. Your dad's always done this to you, for as long as I've known you. You always just… seize up, and shut the world out every time he creeps back into your life. If you're taking this out on _Alec_ —"

"I am not—"

"Then it's hardly fair. Magnus. After all these years. After all the times he's threatened you, come back to just make you feel awful about yourself, and then disappeared without a trace for months, or even _years_. How are you still letting him get to you like he does?"

"He could take everything from me," Magnus protests, "my work, my—"

"He can only take from you whatever you _let_ him," Catarina corrects, with a knowing look that Magnus doesn't like at all. "You let him worm his way back into your mind, let all his words make chaos in there so all you hear is all the crap you've been telling yourself for years. And you won't listen to, or let anyone in at all."

Magnus doesn't even resist when Catarina prods her finger at his forehead to emphasize her words, though leans into it when she presses her hand to his face. "I don't want to."

"Only this time," Catarina says, exasperation creeping into her voice even though her hands are now squeezing around his shoulders in an attempt to soothe him, "you have someone _wonderful_ in your life. Someone who stares at you like they can't believe how lucky they got for having you. Someone who… Magnus; who else have you been with that has introduced you to their family? Taken the time to get to know your friends? Gone places with you, and cooked you dinner. Gone halfway across the city for that awful soup you like when you got sick?"

Magnus smiles at the memory, then closes his eyes to the idea that he might not ever have Alec fussing over him again. "I know."

"All these things. All kinds of things that _normal_ people do for those they care about, Alec does for you. Who else has ever done that, huh? Who else has ever cared for you the way you _deserve_ to be cared about?"

Magnus feels so stupid, and so alone in the world. He isn't _normal_ , he never attracts normal people who want to be with him exactly as he is. They always want to change him, or be with him only when it's convenient, or even for whatever it is they think he can do for them. Alec, he thinks, his heart aching for him, Alec has never treated him like that.

"And now you've got some difficulty in your life because your dad's up to his usual tricks, and you don't know how to deal with it," Catarina adds as she rearranges them more comfortably on the couch. "You aren't used to having someone stick around for the bad times."

 _No_ , Magnus thinks, missing Alec so much it hurts, _I'm not_.

"And to justify it to yourself, you're acting like he's treating you like every other person you've ever been with," Catarina continues when Magnus doesn't answer her. "When from what I've seen, he's the best thing that's ever happened in your life. He's not like any of them. Magnus, you light up around him."

"I think I'm losing him," Magnus says, his voice cracking as fresh tears well up again.

"Then _do_ something about it."

"I don't know what. I don't know _how_ ," Magnus protests.

"You _do_ ," Catarina insists, pressing her thumb beneath his chin to make him look up. "All you have to do is be honest with him. Tell him what's going on with you. He probably already knows."

"But there isn't anything _going on with me_. This is just how it _is_."

"Just _talk_ to him, Magnus," Catarina says, smiling in exasperation. "You can't tell me after how I've seen the two of you together that Alec's going to walk away from you just like that. That he'll give you up without a fight."

"He keeps saying he's giving me space. That he needs _space_. How can we talk if—"

"How is he supposed to react if you keep shutting him down? Or doing that thing you do when you see a problem before there even is one?" Catarina asks, again with that knowing smile. He doesn't like it at all, and tries to find a reason to justify his behavior.

"He said I should talk to him, or call him, but then just… walked away."

"Did you try to stop him?"

"...no."

"Magnus," Catarina says, hugging him again prefer pressing a sigh into his temple, "let me clear something up for you, okay? If you're in a relationship with someone, you don't take it in turns to have a bad day. You don't—both of you can make good or bad decisions, or choices, or… both of you can need a little time to yourself at the same time. That's just how it is. It doesn't mean either one of you is giving up on the other. It just means you need a little breathing room. Or maybe Alec just… doesn't know what to do for the best."

"But—"

"Don't get me wrong," Catarina says, raising an eyebrow at him to keep him quiet. "If he _hurts_ you? If he _does_ give up on you just because you're being an obstinate fool right now—"

"Catarina—"

"—I'm gonna break both his legs," she says, smiling at him. "I don't care how tall he is. I will bring him _down_. But you have to give me a better reason than the one you're currently giving me."

Magnus tries not to smile, then tries to keep smiling for the way it seems to relax Catarina's face. He takes her hand when she offers it and squeezes, laughing when she taps at his thumb.

"Now I _know_ you're in a mess with all this," Catarina says, pointing at the chip in his nail polish. "When was the last time you left the house without looking immaculate?"

"I don't ever look _immaculate._ "

"I'll bet _Alec_ thinks you do," Catarina teases as she squeezes his hand.

"Alec… might be biased."

"Because he _cares_ about you," she retorts, "like I've never seen anyone else."

It's true. And it terrifies Magnus to think that he might be about to lose that because neither one of them know what to do.

"Don't throw that way," Catarina adds softly, ducking to make eye contact again.

Magnus groans, closing his eyes with no idea how to fix any of the disasters in his life. And when Catarina raises her arm ducks beneath it, dropping his head back against her shoulder with a sigh.

* * *

He needs to speak to _Alec_. It isn't about all that is happening with his father, or all the things that are playing on his mind so he can't shut his insecurities out. It's because he _needs_ Alec; the thought of not having him in his life is _devastating_ to Magnus. What he wants more than anything right now is the chance to put things right.

Magnus makes it as far as the corner of the hospital before he's dragging his phone from his pocket and dialing Alec's number. When the phone rings only once before going to voicemail Magnus' heart sinks, though it settles him a little to see the automated text that follows to say he is in a meeting. Magnus starts to walk, snatching his phone back out of his pocket when he feels it vibrate.

_"Sorry, Magnus, I'm in a meeting for probably the next couple of hours. Are you okay?"_

Magnus doesn't mean to sob for seeing Alec's text, though doesn't care about the state his face must be in when he backhands his tears away right there in the street.

 _"Not really,"_ he writes back, instantly regretting it, trying to write something to add to it to make it sound less dramatic.

Magnus' phone vibrates with a call before he can even finish, Alec's name blinking up at him from the screen.

"I thought you were in a meeting?" he says, even if he is sagging in relief.

"I am," Alec replies, "I came out of it to check you were okay. What's going on?"

"Oh, nothing," Magnus says, his heart aching for Alec calling him, "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to interrupt."

"Magnus, it's okay; what's going on?"

"Nothing."

"Please talk to me," Alec says, soft, and urgent, and tender enough to send another sob spilling from Magnus' mouth.

"It's just… I don't like it when we argue."

Magnus closes his eyes to his own words, hating that he's making it sound like arguing is something they constantly do. In all the time they've been together this is their first argument; perhaps that's why it feels as monumental as it does.

"Well. Neither do I," Alec says, sighing. "But I… Magnus, can we—"

"You're working," Magnus says as he tries to force a smile into his voice, telling himself to stop being so selfish. "I shouldn't have called."

"You should," Alec argues. "You should call me whenever you need to, okay? But I… if you don't want me for anything right now, then I should probably go back in."

"You should," Magnus agrees, trying to inject a little smile into his voice. "We will… speak soon."

"Okay," Alec says, and Magnus can't help but hear the frustration in his sigh. "I'll… we'll talk."

Magnus pockets his phone and clears his throat, looking around him to get his bearings. That he's worried Alec, that Alec has walked out of a meeting just to check on him does nothing but bring Magnus more tears. This is ridiculous; why is he making everything so much more complicated than he needs to, when what is happening with Alec can be resolved so easily if they talk?

But he needs to know what is happening with his father. He needs to try to clear things up between them once and for all, before he tries to deal with anything else. Whatever it is that his father wants from him this time is nothing new, Magnus is sure of it. So if he's got through his goading and cruelness in the past, there is no reason he can't now.

He has no choice. There are no more excuses that he can make himself for not meeting with his father. No reason he has that is good enough to let his life deteriorate around him as he has. He is pushing away his chance at happiness because he is scared, and for all he knows he might have done some lasting damage with Alec. Because he has let his father manipulate him yet again. Because he isn't strong enough to admit he needs someone to hold him up sometimes.

Magnus refuses to believe it. Clings on to Alec's words that were never a _goodbye_ , only a _see you soon_. It gives him the strength to pull the folded paper from his jacket pocket, let his eyes focus on the numbers, and start to dial.

* * *

"It's good of you to finally make the effort to meet me. I am sorry to have disrupted your busy schedule."

Magnus glances around the restaurant feeling comforted for its familiarity, relieved he didn't let his father talk him into anywhere that wasn't in public view. Tries not to listen to the sarcasm and goading in his voice as he talks.

"It's not as though you gave me much of a choice," Magnus retorts, pulling back from the hug he doesn't return and sinking down into a chair before his knees fail on him for how hard they are trembling.

"Did you think you could avoid me forever, Magnus?" his father says, that same authoritarian tone that has made Magnus feel small his entire life. There is no reason for Magnus to feel as trapped as he does. But sat here across the table from his father as he looks him over in triumph, and with the only exit not even in his immediate view, Magnus feels like he might as well be in a cage.

"You were able to find my store. You knew exactly where to find me. You even gave _Robert Lightwood_ my address."

"Did you think I wouldn't find where you lived?" his father asks, amused.

"How?"

"That doesn't matter. Now," he says, picking up the menu, "I feel like something sweet."

"It matters to _me_ —"

"And why should it be I that has to come to _you_?" his father asks, looking Magnus over slowly as though searching for something, which makes Magnus fidget to just escape his gaze.

"Because," Magnus says with a burst of incredulous laughter, "I have no reason to want to contact you, for anything. It is _you_ who continually keeps trying to contact _me_."

"You make it sound as though I am stalking you," his father says, with a taunting smirk on his face.

"At times, it feels like it."

"Always so dramatic," he sighs, snapping his fingers at a passing waiter and ordering them both coffee and cake without so much as suggesting Magnus makes a choice himself.

Magnus curses himself for saying nothing; even if it is about something so small.

"You know, Magnus," his father says in a conversational tone he doesn't trust. "It is not normal behavior to feel that way about your own father."

"Since when has anything about our relationship been _normal_?" Magnus retorts.

Magnus' mind fills with images of times he spent with his father as a child. Of the times his mother had tried to make Magnus impress him, and of every occasion when his father made him feel like he was nothing at all. Magnus remembers the defeat in his mother's eyes every time he left, and the nights when he laid awake listening for her tears. Magnus doesn't have a single happy memory of any moment involving his father. It should be easier than it has been to just walk away. Whatever his father is thinking, he still has that triumphant smile on his face. Magnus has a burst of anger for the man gloating at him from across the table, and another for himself for letting him toy with him for all these years as he has done.

"Look," Magnus says, flaring his fingers, trying to keep his expression a placating one. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you this. But I want nothing to do with your business. I am not selling anything in my store for you. I won't provide a cover—"

"Not even—"

" _No_ , Father," Magnus blurts out before he can say anything else. "No. How many years have you been doing this? Threatening me—"

"I never _threaten._ "

"Trying to convince me to do something you know I don't want to do? I have no reason to trust you, no reason to help you."

"Not even just because I am your father?" he asks, staring at Magnus the entire time their coffee and cake is set out on the table between them, leaving Magnus feeling as he so often does that he is the one in the wrong.

"If you had behaved anything like a father to me when I was growing up, things might be different," Magnus forces himself to say once their waiter has left them. "But you weren't there for me. You weren't there for anything. And after my mother died, you left me with a woman who hated me, who resented everything she did for me. Every meal, every signature on my school reports. Everything."

"And yet, without me in your life, you would be totally alone," his father points out, narrowing his eyes at him and smiling, plucking at the cake in front of him as though he has no intention of eating it at all.

"I'm not alone," Magnus argues, thinking of Catarina, and Ragnor, and his heart panging when he thinks of Alec, hoping he isn't still mad at him. Hoping that he'll give him the chance to _fix_ things before it is too late.

"Yet I am your only family."

"I made my own family."

"Do I have grandchildren somewhere that I don't know about?" his father asks, looking around the restaurant as though Magnus might have hidden children somewhere.

"No. I didn't mean—my friends, the people I care about—they are my family."

"You will _never_ have a family," his father retorts, laughing as he picks up his coffee. "Magnus. You are incapable of maintaining a relationship beyond the point of when people start getting to _know_ you. How are you ever going to get to the point when someone wants a _family_ with you?"

"That's not—"

"You would rather work from your apartment, and that dark, dank little store of yours."

"It is neither of those things."

"You would prefer that over any of the places I could provide for you? That we could operate from together as father and son?" his father continues, determined as always, Magnus thinks, to get the last word in.

"I don't _want_ to work with you. Or for you."

"And yet you won't be successful on your own," his father retorts, glaring at him as he breaks off a piece cake and tosses it into his mouth. "You won't make it. You are too easily persuaded. I don't doubt you give free samples away to people you _like_ , people who know how to manipulate you to get what they want."

"I don't."

" _Eat_ ," he says, eyes dropping to the untouched plate in front of Magnus, then following when he shakily breaks off a piece to try. "Always so stubborn."

"I am not."

" _Dot_ is thoroughly… enchanting," his father adds, smiling. "I am sure I spent at least an hour talking with her. She is quite the intriguing woman."

"Yes. She told me that you visited," Magnus replies, thinking of Dot alone in The Lucky Cat with his father and his blood running cold for it.

"She seems far wiser than you have ever been. Is she alone in that… _room_ above the store that you lived in until recently?"

"Whoever she chooses to share her home with is none of my business," Magnus replies, wondering now about changing the locks at the store, updating the security, doing whatever is needed to keep his father out.

"Well. I am sure she and I will be speaking again. Perhaps I will take her a little something."

"I have already instructed Dot not to accept any offers of anything from you."

"When she is so competently running that store without your interference," his father points out. "Why would she listen to _you_?"

"I—"

"You are _nothing_ , Magnus," his father says, glaring at him. "You have always been nothing. You will never be anything. Have I not been trying to tell you that for your entire life? Do you not think I have prepared you enough for how… insignificant you truly are? Without me? Why would you reject the chance to work with, and for your father, when I am the only person capable of keeping—"

"I want nothing to do with you," Magnus replies, his stomach knotting painfully for getting the words out. He tries to anchor himself by wrapping his fingers around his coffee, yet has to use both hands to lift it for how badly his hands are shaking.

"Do you know how much that hurts a father to hear?"

"Do _you_?" Magnus counters. "Fatherhood isn't selective. You can't just… pick the parts of it you want and expect me to—"

"And what would _you_ know about being a father?" his father says, his eyes glinting with wickedness. "That is something that you will never be. No one will ever want that with you."

Magnus tells himself he isn't listening, that his father's words aren't getting to him at all. Even though they twist in his gut and Magnus has to resist curling over for the pain they cause him.

"Father," Magnus says, gritting his teeth and pleading with himself to be stronger than he is. "You never wanted anything to do with me, until I was something useful to you. You never looked at me as a son, only as a mistake, or problem. And then only as a _resource_. Someone you could use. I don't… it has been a long time since I hoped, or believed, that you and I would have a normal relationship. I can't live my life with this… burden."

" _I_ am a burden to _you_?" his father asks, amused. "After _I_ have always been the one who has had to tolerate _you_?"

Magnus pushes back all the memories that remind him of all the times he's been called a burden, refusing to give any one of them a voice. "You are. Yes. And I want—"

"It's so _interesting_ to hear all of your rehearsed words, Magnus," his father says, working his way through the cake with such precision that there is not a crumb left on the plate. "How long have you been practicing them in the mirror?"

"I don't—"

"Do you do it when you put on that ridiculous makeup you wear in an attempt to hide how… _plain_ you are without it?" his father adds. Magnus presses his fingers into his thighs and squeezes hard, pleading with himself not to listen.

"What do you want, Magnus?" his father asks then, something dancing around his eyes that leaves Magnus fearful of whatever is coming.

"To live my life without looking over my shoulder for a father who has caused me nothing but trouble. Who has never been there for me at all."

"No, that's not really what you want," his father laughs, throwing his head back.

"I—"

"You want to pretend you are capable of doing a single thing right in your life. You want to fool yourself into thinking you will ever maintain an adult relationship," his father adds, sneering. "To pretend that you have found what you are looking for in… _Alec_."

"Leave Alec out of this," Magnus demands before he can stop himself, seeing the exact moment his father knows he truly has his attention for the triumphant glint in his eye.

"Oh, but _Alec_ is very much involved in this," his father retorts, wide-eyed with false innocence. "Alec is involved in every part of this."

"He's not. He isn't—"

"Did you know, Magnus, that there is a fault with the lock on the door to the main entrance to Alec's building?"

Blood rushes in Magnus' ears for his father's words, the urge to run and _protect_ Alec almost sending him hurtling from his seat. "I—"

"I don't like the color they are currently painting his lobby," his father adds, frowning as he toys with his cup. "It makes the place look so... _dark_ , don't you think?"

Magnus' heart begins to flutter as he fights to keep his expression neutral, to not show his father that he is getting to him. "You don't—"

"Was it _you_ that bought that desk tidying contraption that takes up so much of Alec's work desk?" his father adds, studying his own fingers. "I don't know how he has the space to work."

"I don't—"

"Or was it that blond man that Alec has spent the last couple of nights alone with?" he adds, his look for Magnus piercing and stealing his breath.

Magnus tells himself not to listen, tells himself not to let his father play on his weaknesses, closes his eyes to the images his mind is painting for him and fights to force all those thoughts away.

"Alec has quite the regular routine," his father adds, still staring at him. "I am sure I could tell you his every move; better than you know it yourself."

"You need to leave Alec alone," Magnus demands, wanting to strike at his father for the first time in his life.

"His younger brother is doing well in school, isn't he?" his father says, leaving Magnus' blood running cold.

"You—"

"Do you never wonder how _your_ brothers are doing? Your sisters?" his father asks, settling his eyes on Magnus again over his coffee cup, leaving him feeling like he can't breathe.

"I—I have no—"

"Do you honestly think that _you_ are my only child, Magnus?" his father goads, seeming thoroughly amused by the idea. "Do you truly believe I would allow the only chance of my heritage to continue to be passed on through _you_?"

Magnus is lost for words, and his father knows that, his expression pleased for the confusion he knows he has put in Magnus' thoughts.

"You have many siblings in this world, Magnus. Many of them."

"If that were true, why do you insist on continuing to… _harass_ only me?"

"It is good to keep my options open," his father shrugs. "Why do you think I wasted any time at all on your _mother_?"

"You—"

"You'll be hearing from me soon, Magnus," his father says as he stands, carelessly tossing money on the table for their order. "Very soon. Don't think that we are done here; we haven't even got started."

Magnus opens his mouth to speak but can't get a single word out, clutching tight to the table as his father leaves. He holds his breath until he hears the restaurant door close, then watches him walk past the window, and keeps watching as his father disappears along the street outside.

* * *

 


	20. Chapter 20

Magnus knows it's time to get some help. Or at least some advice so he can know what action he needs to take now. His head hurts from the conversation with his father, going over and over all his hurtful words. Yet it's the thought of _Alec_ not wanting to speak with him, and _Alec_ perhaps being at risk if his father is making threats, that plays on Magnus' mind most of all. Magnus pushes back his chair and all but charges from the restaurant, only just convincing himself not to run.

"I'm sorry it's so late," he says when Luke opens his apartment door to him, ushering Magnus inside in surprise.

"It's… not _that_ late."

Magnus looks at the clock on Luke's living room wall realizing it's only a little after eight, and is struck by the feeling this might be the longest day in his life. "Still."

"You need a drink?" Luke asks with a raised eyebrow, then after looking him over, repeats, "you need a drink."

"I could use a whole bottle," Magnus says as he watches Luke walk away from him, only sinking down into an armchair when Luke nods for him to. And even then only taking the glass from his hand when Luke clears his throat.

"What's going on with you?"

"Oh, you know. The usual," Magnus says, taking a gulp of the bourbon and letting it burn down his throat before continuing. "My father."

"He still in town?"

"Very much so. I just saw him," Magnus adds, sure he'll be giving _that_ restaurant a wide berth for the rest of his life.

"And?" Luke says. "What's the guy up to this time? Or wanting?"

"Like I said. The usual."

"So… why do you look like you're gonna throw up?"

Magnus closes his eyes, too tense to sit back in the chair, instead leaning his elbows against his knees and staring down between his own feet.

"Magnus—"

"You know, he has never once remembered a birthday in my entire life?" Magnus says, swirling the amber liquid in his glass. "Not one. That he's not been there for a single good thing I've ever done?"

"I do," Luke agrees, "he's a bastard. Nothing new about that. Not from what you've told me about him, at least."

"And yet he can still seem to find out all of these _things_ ," Magnus adds, half-tempted to call both Alec and Dot to warn them, even if he's not sure for _what_.

"I feel like I'm missing something," Luke says, the movement of his arm getting Magnus' attention.

"Well. I haven't told you _everything_ ," Magnus replies, having no idea how Luke is going to take all he needs to tell him.

"You about to tell me something illegal, Magnus?" Luke teases, drumming his fingers against the arm of his own chair. "You want me to… keep my cop hat off for this conversation, or something?"

"...I think so."

Luke's laughter dies on his lips, his eyebrow raising again in surprise. But to Luke's credit, all he does then is take a sip of his drink and nod. "So tell me."

Magnus doesn't know how to begin. But he knows he has to, that he's put this off for long enough, so takes another gulp of his bourbon and begins to tell his tale. Of the money his father has tried to give him over the years, the number of times he's wanted to get involved in Magnus' business. Of the new knowledge he has that some of the products his father is selling really are as dangerous as he's long-suspected, and the fact that Robert Lightwood has been defending him.

"Robert was always a conniving, sneaky bastard," Luke says with anger putting a glint in his eye before he waves it away and gestures for Magnus to continue to talk.

"Is that because of your… _relationship_ with Maryse?"

"Don't change the subject on me," Luke retorts, glaring back.

So Magnus continues, revealing more details of his father's behavior throughout his life. His recent revelations about potential siblings out in the world, and the usual goading belittlement he's been subjected to for as long as he can remember. Magnus drains his glass as he tells Luke about the insinuations his father has made about targeting Alec and Dot, eyes on the bottle immediately.

Luke refills his glass without comment, though his face does take on a deepening scowl. And by the time Magnus has got his last word out Luke has filled his own glass again, pinching his eyes and sighing hard.

"So. That's everything," Magnus says, feeling a strange sense of lightness for having everything out in the open, even if he doesn't know what to do now.

"Magnus," Luke says, with a cold laugh, "I'm sorry, but. Your dad's a bastard."

"You're telling me."

"You got anything you can pin on him? Any records of this stuff he's trying to sell, or something?"

"All I have, is a record of every time he has approached me, or tried to give me money," Magnus replies, watching Luke nod in thought.

"You ever thought about reporting him like he keeps saying he's gonna report you?"

"I have. Thought about it, that is."

"Never got around to it?"

"It is more that… I suppose I didn't have enough evidence other than… I have no physical evidence. Only what I assumed, and then saw once on some documentation in one of his workplaces."

Luke hums in agreement, sipping at his bourbon. "I suppose without any of that evidence, you might just be another malicious call to them. Wouldn't be the first time a company had something like that happen to 'em just 'cos they pissed a customer off."

"Exactly. And now… I don't know what to do. Things have… escalated."

"How so?"

"He seems far more determined this time," Magnus says, once again replaying the conversation with his father in his head.

"How come you never came to me with any of this before?" Luke asks, studying him.

"Honestly, Luke? I don't know. I don't feel any loyalty to my father—"

"I think maybe you do," Luke retorts. "If he's been getting to you for all this time—"

"In any case," Magnus adds, looking away, "it's not like… I didn't know what to tell you. I didn't  _want_ to need any help."

"Magnus," Luke says, fixing him with a stare that Magnus can't look away from, "be honest with me. How many times has he threatened you before now?"

"Too many to count."

"And how is this time any different to any of these other threats?"

"I don't know about _threat_ —"

"Why are you defending him?" Luke demands sharply, the tone of his voice making Magnus fidget and look elsewhere.

"I'm not."

"You _are_."

"I'm _not_ ," Magnus insists, shaking his head, "none of it sounded like a threat this time. More like a… promise."

"Alright," Luke says, "so tell me this. When have any of the _threats_ he's made about your work amounted to anything at all?"

"Well. They haven't."

"Then why would you think these things he's trying to say now—trying to insinuate he's keeping tabs on Dot and Alec, and who knows who else in your life—why are you believing him _now_?"

"Because he _knew_ things, Luke. He knew—"

"Magnus," Luke says, sighing in exasperation as he stretches for a laptop that is behind him on a shelf. "What did he say about Dot?"

"He knew where she lived."

"Yeah," Luke agrees, smiling, "well, if he knew _you_ used to live above the store, why wouldn't he assume she'd be doing the same?"

"It sounded as though he had been watching her," Magnus says, still planning a thorough security overhaul for The Lucky Cat in the morning, no matter how much it is going to cost.

"No. He put the thought in your _head_ that he was watching her," Luke corrects, "there's a difference."

"So what about Alec?" Magnus demands, glaring at Luke for not taking this seriously when it is all he can think about.

"Oh, we're gonna talk about _Alec_ ," Luke agrees as he opens his laptop.

"What do you mean?"

"You're arguing," Luke replies, distracted as he types.

"I never said we were."

"Magnus," Luke says, giving him an incredulous look over the laptop. "Clearly something's up between you two."

Magnus is caught off guard, not wanting to acknowledge it, but not sure he's able to keep the ache from his voice. "...how can you tell?"

"Your face? The way you look like you haven't slept in about forever? How you've not even mentioned his _name_ aside from this stuff that's going down with your dad, when you're _always_ talking about him?"

Magnus hates that he's so obvious, concentrating on draining his glass again to hide his embarrassment. "In any case. If my father is threatening him—"

"Threatening him with _what_?" Luke asks.

"Well. I don't know, exactly."

"Magnus. You ever considered that your dad's just full of it?"

"What do you mean?"

"You don't think all these threats over the years have been a little… empty?" Luke suggests instead.

Magnus has considered it. At least he's hoped for it, held on to the idea so he can get himself to sleep at night. Though that was before his father tried to bring Dot and Alec into this mess. "It's different now."

"Because of Alec?" Luke asks, not even hiding the smile on his face.

"Of course. Luke; he knew—"

" _What_ did he know?" Luke demands, scoffing.

"He… knew where he lived. What his desk looked like at work. That he's spent the past two nights with _Steven_ ," Magnus adds, jealousy seeping into his voice before he can stop it.

"Alright," Luke says, reaching for his glass, "let's start with that. _Steven_?"

"Alec has his mother staying at the moment. He thought she needed some time for herself. So he has been staying with a friend. Steven."

"Which is probably why he was _with_ Steven the past two nights," Luke says, raising an eyebrow in what Magnus thinks is disbelief. Is his jealousy that obvious?

"Still—"

"Is Maryse okay?" Luke adds, a little softer.

" _Luke_ —"

"I'm just _asking_ ," Luke says, holding his hands up in defense.

"Now is not the time," Magnus retorts, scowling when Luke laughs again.

"Look. I'm gonna assume Alec and _Steven_ went to some bar or something that your dad knows about. Somewhere your dad could've already known himself."

"I... suppose he might know the Hunter's Moon," Magnus agrees reluctantly, thinking of a couple of times his father had found him there. Then imagines his father in a dark corner of the Hunter's Moon watching Alec and Steven playing pool, and it sets his heart off racing in protest.

"Right."

"But how did he even know what Alec _looks_ like?"

"Magnus," Luke says, beginning to sound smile in exasperation. "You said he works with _Robert_. You telling me Robert Lightwood isn't above having some picture on the wall of his office of his kids? Especially when he can say to clients, _hey, my daughter's a pathologist, my son's a director at the university_ , and claim all kinds of bragging rights like that?"

"But that doesn't explain how my father could have Alec's address," Magnus insists.

"You don't think he could've got Alec's address from _Robert_ as well?" Luke adds, rolling his eyes.

"Are you sure your _opinion_ of Maryse's _husband_ isn't coloring your view?"

"You sure your fear of your dad isn't coloring yours?" Luke fires back at him with a glare.

Magnus grits his teeth, thinks about conversations he's had with Alec about his father, and sighs, nodding in defeat. "I suppose there is every possibility."

"They have an office they work in from home. The Lightwoods," Luke says. "If he has anything about—"

"If he had Alec's address anywhere, then I suppose my father could find it by himself," Magnus finishes for him, slumping further into his chair. "That is, if he didn't just _tell_ him."

"He got _your_ address, didn't he?"

"Well. Yes."

"If your father's been back in New York a while, who's to say he hasn't followed you at some point?"

"That is _not_ comforting."

"It's easy enough to find a home address if you know where to look," Luke says, shrugging. "Without following anyone."

"Perhaps when you work for the _police._ "

"If you don't cover your tracks online, or… any number of things can leave a trail of where you live, Magnus. If you had… I don't know, a delivery note to The Lucky Cat with your home address on it that got thrown out, or left out in the store. Or if you… maybe the guys you hired a van from to move took a picture outside your building, or something; I don't know. Anything."

"Simon… when I first moved, Simon posted a picture outside my apartment building on Instagram complaining about how long the elevator ride up was," Magnus says, narrowing his eyes. "Including how many floors."

"Did he tag you in it?"

"He tags me in _everything_."

"If his Instagram's public..."

"And you wanted to go looking," Magnus adds, groaning, and pinching between his eyes.

"So many ways you can find someone if you want to," Luke agrees, nodding.

"Well. I suppose that might make sense. Though what about—"

"You dad knowing something about the layout of Alec's office?" Luke finishes for him with a knowing look, already spinning his laptop around for Magnus to look at.

"What's this?" Magnus says softly as he looks at Alec smiling up at him from the screen, sat behind his desk with that monstrosity of a desk tidy his father had mentioned.

"University has profiles of all the staff online. Guess Alec's was updated when he became director."

"It was… only made official not that long ago," Magnus says, unable to snatch his eyes away.

"Either way, like I said. If you know where to look, you can find just about anything you want to online," Luke says, holding the laptop out for another moment before closing the lid and putting it on the floor.

"Are you saying that I should _ignore_ my father?"

"I'm saying, he's been messing with you all these years. Doing everything he can to make you feel like he can take everything from you any time he wants. Holding this _power_ over you. What's different now?"

"Well. I don't know. But—"

"Alec does archery, right?" Luke says. "Has some kind of… regime, I guess, for training?"

"He does," Magnus agrees, "but that doesn't mean I want him to be at any kind of risk to need to  _test_ that training."

"You don't if he felt like he was in danger, or something, he couldn't—he wouldn't defend himself?"

"I never want Alec to be in a situation where he _has_ to defend himself," Magnus retorts, his stomach in knots just for the thought of it. "Even more so if it is because of _me_."

"Remember that guy who tried to grab Dot when we were all out at the Hunter's Moon that time?" Luke adds, smiling in memory.

Magnus smiles too. It's hard not to, remembering how quickly the man had sunk to his knees for how hard she had kicked him, and how difficult it had been to prise the set of keys from her hand that she had inches from his face. "I would… rather Dot not be at risk because of me either."

"No. I know. But I… Magnus, there's no history here to say your dad's any real risk to you."

"How would you know that?" Magnus asks, narrowing his eyes in suspicion, catching the smile that Luke doesn't quite manage to hide in time.

"So maybe I looked him up—years ago," Luke says, shrugging. "Magnus. Name like your dad's isn't exactly—you were talking about him when we were all at Catarina's one time, and you… something about what you were saying made me look him up. I don't—there was nothing back then, so unless things have drastically changed in the _years_ it's been since I looked, I'd… say you have nothing to worry about."

"Well—"

"I'm _saying_ ," Luke says as he refills both of their glasses again, "that nothing's changed. Your _dad_ hasn't changed. Whatever he's playing at doesn't sound like nothing new. The only thing _new_ is that he's figured out new ways to get to you."

 _Alec_ , Magnus thinks, but doesn't say out loud.

"So," Luke says, turning in his chair and getting more comfortable, gesturing at Magnus with his drink. "What's going on with you and Alec?"

* * *

Magnus raises his arm to watch the water drip back into the bath beneath it, wondering how much longer he can lay here ignoring that the water is cold. He's been here in his bathtub for getting on for an hour now, insulating the water with a thick layer of bubbles that have now evaporated, and several heated stones on the bottom to keep it warm.

He is tired enough to fall asleep right here having not managed more than a couple of hours when he eventually got back from Luke's last night. Though he's also too wired to let himself relax enough; Magnus' thoughts flit continuously between the situation with his father, and all the things he needs to say to Alec. The taunts by the former feeding his fears about the latter, leaving Magnus convinced there is no way he can make things with Alec work.

Magnus has told himself for years that there are just some people in this world that aren't suited to having a lasting relationship. That he is among them, evidenced by how difficult it is to get anyone to stay. That he is kidding himself, when he lets himself think that Alec might be the one that sticks around. And then furious for letting his father's taunts fuel these ideas in his head.

Things are different with Alec. The way they took their time to get together, about everything in their lives that just _works_. How easy they have been in each other's company since the beginning, how comfortable and natural their time is together as though they just _fit_. For the first time in his life, Magnus doesn't feel like he has to do anything different to be with someone, be anyone else but who he already is.

Magnus closes his eyes, letting his thoughts linger on a happier moment here in this very bath. Laid in the curve of Alec's arms between his legs with glasses of wine in their hands. Talking about their day and beginning their weekend together, with no thought for anyone or anything else. Magnus sweeps his hand down over his body following the familiar paths Alec's own hands traveled in that moment, dropping his head back as he reaches down between his legs.

It's no good. The moment Magnus runs his fingers over his length he's almost curling over in agony for the thought of never having Alec touch him again. Of never falling asleep with him, never seeing his face first thing in the morning across from his pillow. Magnus doesn't want to be without him, yet knows they can't fix things between them if either one of them won't be brave.

Magnus' phone vibrates as it dances across the floor next to the bath, and though Magnus is aware of it he doesn't reach for it until it rings for a third time, lost in going over and over all the things he wants to say to Alec. His heart is in his throat when he sees Alec's name waiting for him, quickly connecting the call and all but leaning into the phone.

"Alec."

"My dad says he needs to speak to you," Alec says, formal, and stiff, and so distant that Magnus could cry. He should have called him last night after he'd visited Luke, should have called him earlier than that, as soon as he'd left the restaurant. Yet Magnus can't help but wish that Alec had called _him_.

"He—"

"He says he needs to see you face to face," Alec adds, with a murmur in the background that Magnus wonders if is Steven.

"With _my_ father?"

"No. He says it's just him."

"Okay," Magnus says, still just as reluctant, and more than mistrustful. Assuming his father wouldn't be above a little trickery to try to force yet another conversation between them. Even if he now feels armed with a better understanding of how to deal with him after his conversation with Luke.

"I told him I'll be with you," Alec adds, the tone of his voice something Magnus can't really make out.

"Alec, you don't need to."

"I said, I'll be with you," Alec insists, his words clipped. "I said you weren't alone in this. In any of this. So I'll be there."

"If you are sure," Magnus says, wanting to say just how much this means to him. Wanting to say just how desperately he needs to talk to him.

"Besides," Alec says with a hard groan down the phone, "he wants to see you here, at _ours_. At home. Our house."

"I see," Magnus replies, having no idea what to make of that at all.

"I'll text you the address," Alec adds. Magnus can hear him moving around and wonders where he must be. "I'll see you soon, Magnus."

"I—"

Alec has already gone. Magnus squeezes his eyes shut telling himself not to get upset. He quickly climbs out of the bath and scans the address Alec sends him seconds later, working out a route of how to get there as he dries himself one-handed.

Alec is standing outside the house when Magnus arrives. Magnus takes a quick sweeping glance over the house taking in how well-maintained it appears, and how everything about it screams _money_. But he is far more interested in looking at Alec waiting for him on the porch.

Alec's smile for him is guarded when he reaches him, though it only lasts a few seconds before Alec is leaning in for a kiss. They fall into a hug and Magnus could cry for how much he's missed him, pressing his face into Alec's neck as he cradles him in his arms. He can't stop himself from trembling, clinging on tight and shaking his head when Alec tries to pull back. Magnus wants to hold on to Alec, forget this meeting with his father, and whatever news it's going to bring him.

"You look tired," Magnus says as he steps back and catches the bags under Alec's eyes, instantly reaching up to cup his face.

"Haven't been sleeping all that much," Alec replies with a half-smile.

Magnus' stomach drops with guilt. "...because of me?"

"What do you think?" Alec scoffs, squeezing his sides.

"I'm—"

"But it's not just that. You. _Us_ ," Alec adds, groaning, "I didn't mean to make you think… Look. Magnus, things are… really hard with my family right now, okay? Jace isn't coming back yet. Turns out he's gonna be at least another six weeks. We had a Skype call with him last night—at mine—which meant my dad invited himself over, and… the second Jace went, guess who started screaming at each other across my living room?"

"Oh, Alec."

"Clary was obviously upset because of Jace not coming back yet," Alec adds, visibly sagging. "Mom and Dad were arguing. Izzy was upset because everyone else was upset."

"It sounds like quite the night," Magnus says, squeezing his arms, closing his eyes when Alec hugs him close again.

"It was hell. It's _been_ hell. For _days_."

Magnus wraps his arms tighter around Alec, hating that yet again he hasn't been there for him when things have been difficult. He makes a promise to them both that as soon as this meeting with Alec's dad is over, that they will _talk._ And then get back to supporting one another as they have been doing since before they got together.

"He's waiting," Alec says softly when he puts a little space between them. He nods over Magnus' shoulder towards the house when he looks at him, squeezing his waist and nudging him to turn to go inside. Though Magnus barely has the chance to take a single step before Alec is taking his hand.

Magnus holds on tight, barely having time to notice his surroundings for the determined pace Alec sets as he leads him through the house. Though his attention is drawn to a group of photos on the wall outside what he thinks must be Robert Lightwood's office for the way Alec comes to a halt and sighs. Magnus stops to look at one that is of Alec and Izzy as children, and he can't help but smile.

"You were adorable."

" _Were_?" Alec fires back at him with a raised eyebrow and a smile that echoes with that easy tease they have with one another, though his smile becomes wistful when he looks at the photo Magnus is pointing at. "That's at our place in Alicante. Well, the beach nearby, anyway."

Magnus takes in the smiles on their faces and the patterns they've carved in the sand, aches for the distance there still feels like there is between he and Alec, before Alec is squeezing his fingers and nodding towards the door. Magnus can feel the tension in Alec as they step through, trying to ignore the way his stomach knots for seeing Robert Lightwood pause from reading to look up at them from his desk.

"Dad. This is Magnus."

"I'm glad you came," Robert says with a quick glance at Alec and a polite smile for Magnus. "Have a seat."

When they sit, Alec is right there by his side, slotting his fingers through Magnus' like an anchor. Magnus squeezes back, and receives a reassuring smile.

"I'll keep this brief," Robert says, drumming his fingers against his desk as he looks between them across it. "Your father is being extradited to Spain."

Magnus stares back at Robert, barely aware that Alec is still holding his hand, sure he's misheard him for the rushing noise that fills his head.

"For what?" Alec asks, when Magnus can't get the words out himself.

"Take your pick," Robert says, rolling his eyes as he steeples his fingers against the desk, "there is a long, long list of charges."

"Such as?" Magnus asks, gripping Alec's hand harder, reassured by the soft sweep of Alec's thumb over the back of it.

"Embezzlement. Obtaining money by false pretenses. Offenses related to counterfeiting. A whole handful of offenses relating to the breaching of laws involving drugs. There are also accusations of willful abandonment and nonsupport of a child and spouse on top of all of those things," Robert adds, looking as though he is waiting for Magnus to be surprised by that.

"He mentioned something about me having… siblings," Magnus says, hearing his own voice but not sure how he's making himself speak.

"Multiple," Robert agrees. "Though this extradition treaty is only for Spain. I can't speak to what he might or might not be in trouble for elsewhere in the world. But judging from what I know of him—what I have _learned_ of him over the time we have been working together—I wouldn't be surprised if he is wanted for numerous other things."

"I… don't know what to say," Magnus says, his words coming out shaky, relieved that he has Alec's warmth pressed into his side.

"You are aware your father had business activities in other places in the world? China, for one? Some I'm sure he didn't get around to telling me about," Robert adds with an expression Magnus wishes he could interpret.

"I did. I do know."

"Well. I would think—"

"So that's _it_?" Magnus says, his ears still ringing, unable to get a clear thought in his head. "That can't just be _it_. That's—my father insinuated that he would see me soon. Threatened, as such."

"Your father is exceptionally good at a confident bluff," Robert replies, sitting back in his chair. "I have seen it multiple times for myself. Though I am sure you are more aware of that than I have ever been."

"So. He's being extradited to Spain," Alec says, leaning harder against Magnus in what he has to think is reassurance. "What happens to his business here?"

"Since he has no one to run the business in his absence," Robert says with a pointed glance at Magnus, "I have been instructed to dissolve the business."

So many things begin to make sense for Magnus. So many small details of the things his dad has been trying to tell him, the goading and the taunting, the acting as though Magnus has nothing else in his life.

"And that's—"

"This extradition has been on the cards for a while," Robert says, continuing to drum his fingers on the desk. "That is why he has been making so many attempts to get in contact with you."

"He said nothing of the sort when we met."

"We have put it off for as long as possible, but the courts won't wait any longer," Robert adds. "Currently, your father is being detained so that he can't disappear yet again. He is due to appear in court in Barcelona next Wednesday."

"Are you… representing him there?"

"I am not," Robert replies with an arch to his voice. "My only responsibility to your father is _here_. He has been trying to pass the business on to you—by whatever means—in the hope that it will still be viable should he not be found guilty of all charges. Which is… unlikely. I don't suppose I can blame the man for indulging in wishful thinking, however."

Magnus is numb. He doesn't know what to do with this information, doesn't know what it is he's supposed to feel. He's sure despite everything, guilt is going to come to visit him at some point, but right now he can't even feel relieved for this news. Though he does need to know, with any kind of certainty he can get, what he needs to expect next.

"How likely—"

"I don't think you'll be hearing from your father for quite some time," Robert finishes for him, anticipating Magnus' question. "All these recent months he has been trying to reach you, has been for this. Understand it wasn't my place to tell you when you and I met."

"He said nothing of the sort when I spoke with him," Magnus repeats in a daze. "He merely continued with the usual… he never said a word. About _this_."

"You two already _met_?" Alec says, incredulous as he tugs on Magnus' hand.

"Well. That I cannot speak to," Robert says with a glance at Alec as he answers Magnus' question, and a sigh Magnus takes to mean he wishes he could wash his hands of this entire situation. "All I can tell you now is that your father's business, and his… practices, are no longer your concern. Which is exactly what you wanted."

"When did you _meet_?" Alec demands, looking between the two of them waiting for an answer.

Magnus looks to Robert for guidance and receives nothing. "I—"

"Unless you want to make a last-minute claim on them," Robert adds, as though Alec hasn't spoken at all. "You would have every right to as his son."

"I—I'm… clearly not his only child," Magnus stutters. He is still trying to wrap his head around the idea that he has siblings out there in the world.

"No," Robert agrees. "Yet you are the only one that he acknowledges as a potential heir here in the United States. So, the choice is yours."

"I don't want it," Magnus says quickly, shaking his head. "I don't want a part in any of it. I never did."

"Then. There is nothing else we need to do here," Robert replies. Magnus can't tell if there is disappointment on his face or careful consideration, but he feels so close to being free that he doesn't really care either way.

"So. That's it?" Alec asks, shaking his head, still scowling at his father. "Magnus doesn't need to do anything else?"

"Nothing at all," Robert agrees. "I assume—I _plan_ on—this being the last time we meet to discuss anything to do with your father."

"Well. _Good_ ," Magnus says, suddenly wishing he was home and had a drink in hand.

"Though I would like it if the three of us could get dinner together at some point. Just to talk," Robert adds, his expression neutral as he looks at Alec, though Magnus thinks he can see hope there as well.

"Dad—"

"I intend to keep trying to make things right with you, Alec," Robert says, with a sigh that makes him look tired, and old. "And that includes getting to know someone who is clearly an important part of your life."

Alec is tense against Magnus' side, and Magnus doesn't know how to interpret it. Is he no longer important to Alec? Is this nothing to do with _him_ at all, and just a sign that Alec has far more things to resolve with his dad than he already knows about? Including the fact that he and Magnus have already spoken, which Alec clearly knew nothing about at all until now?

"Now. If you'll excuse me, I have several more meetings to attend today," Robert says, tidying up some papers on his desk calling an end to their discussion.

"Of course," Magnus says, when Alec doesn't answer him.

"I'll… be in touch," Robert tells them when Alec doesn't add anything, awkwardly getting to his feet.

Alec opens his mouth to speak, closes it again, and nods. "Okay."

They sit together unmoving watching Robert leave, still staring across the desk in silence, apparently neither one of them knowing what to say next.

"Your dad's been… _busy_ ," Alec says after a while, gently playing with Magnus' fingers against his lap.

"Apparently so," Magnus agrees, daring to circle his thumb over the back of his hand, before they fall into silence again.

Magnus can't stand it, can't bear to be this close to Alec and risk him walking away again. He has to speak up now or risk driving a wedge between them that might be irreparable.

"Alexander," he says, with a painful smile as Alec glances at him. "If you are in no hurry to be anywhere—"

"I'm not," Alec says immediately, turning slightly in his chair.

"Then. Can we talk? I have so many things to tell you."

"Sure," Alec says, back to seeming guarded. "Though. Maybe not here, huh?"

"Okay."

"I just hate being here right now," Alec says as he gets to his feet and holds his hand out to pull Magnus up as well. "All I can hear is them _arguing_."

"We will go wherever you want," Magnus says, smiling as Alec tugs him closer and kisses him quickly, even if he wishes it would have lasted longer.

Alec looks back at him still seeming torn and hesitant, though smiles anyway and nods towards the door. "Yours. Mom's still at mine, and I'm… I don't know if I wanna… if we're gonna _talk_ then maybe it should be just _us_."

Magnus hopes that's a good thing, though his stomach is in knots for the caution on Alec's face. He slots his fingers through Alec's, following him as he leads him from his family home.

* * *

On the way they speak of Magnus' conversation with his dad, all the insinuations of threats he made, and all the fears he's had about what his dad might be capable of. All the worry he's been through seems lost in Magnus somehow, pointless adrenaline waiting to rear up and all the right words to say to his father now, should he see him, all for nothing.

Alec pulls him into his arms twice as they walk with a look for Magnus that is filled with pride, never once letting go of his hand the rest of the time. It reassures Magnus as much as he fears what will come when they're alone, what they might have to say to one another behind closed doors.

"So? What did you want to tell me?" Alec asks when they get to Magnus', hovering with a formality that he's never shown before in his home. "Aside from all this stuff with your dad, obviously."

"Alec—"

"That's if you even wanted to talk to me about anything besides all that," Alec adds, his eyes filled with doubt. Magnus loathes once again that he's put this uncertainty in him, and reaches out to take his hand.

"I do have other things to tell you," Magnus says, begging himself to say the right thing.

"Okay," Alec agrees, giving him a nervous smile.

Magnus has been over all the words he wants to say to Alec so many times that he's sure he's got them word perfect. But now that he has Alec right here in front of him, Magnus is sure not a single one will come out right.

"I wanted to tell you, that I have been stupid, and reckless, and—"

"If we've come here to just… have you berate yourself to me and list all the things you've done wrong, I don't wanna hear it," Alec interrupts, adamantly shaking his head.

"Alexan—"

"No, Magnus," Alec says, sighing as he stares back at him, "I don't. I _don't_. It's no better than you already deciding the outcome of everything we're gonna say before I even get to say a word. You're making all the decisions here. Again."

"But if you'll only hear me out—"

"Magnus," Alec says, his voice coming out in that controlled way that tells Magnus he is clearly angry. "We've been over this so many times. I don't get how someone as incredible as you are can be as… happy, and confident, and successful as you are, and then turn around and say all these horrible things about yourself at the same time. And just because you and I know each other as well as we do, it doesn't mean you know every single thing I'm thinking, or gonna say."

"It must be hard work to—"

"You're doing it _again_ ," Alec says, his voice rising.

"What?"

"Making these… obstacles between us. Pointing out all the ways it must be hard for me to put up with whatever the hell it is you think I'm putting up with, when that's not how I feel at all."

"But if you'll let me, then I will try to make it up to you," Magnus tries to tell him, pleading with Alec silently not to shut him out.

"It's not about making anything up to me. It's about you being kinder to yourself. And… I guess trusting me," Alec adds, looking full of doubt.

"But I _do_ trust you."

"Then why do you twist every single word I say?"

"That's not fair."

"No. You're right. It isn't," Alec agrees as he stares back at him. "But when you… Magnus, sometimes it feels like you want to start an argument just to prove I'm gonna give up on you. Walk out and not come back, or something. I don't know."

"Alec—"

"There has to be something beyond all this mess with your dad that's behind all of this," Alec adds as he begins to pace, every step he takes leaving Magnus even more nervous.

"Alexander," Magnus says, licking his lips, pleading with his throat not to dry out with how nervous he is. "There isn't some… I don't have some kind of tragedy, or anything in my past that would… that is making me so… that would explain—"

"Why you decided that there is no one in this world that cares about you enough to stick around, no matter what happens?" Alec retorts, tension clenching his jaw.

Magnus has no defense for that, no matter how much he wishes he did. "...I suppose."

"Magnus," Alec says, with a controlled though still exasperated sigh, "it doesn't have to be any reason in particular. It doesn't have to be a number of reasons. I just don't understand why you would shut me out, when I'm right here, waiting for you, ready for… whatever it is you think you can't share with me. Won't share with me."

"To be honest," Magnus says with a bitter smile, "neither do I."

It's a lie. It's everything and nothing all at once, and his conversation with Catarina screams loud until it is impossible for Magnus to hear anything else. But he needs Alec to meet him halfway here, and isn't really sure how to ask.

"Alexander," Magnus says, nervously reaching out to take his hand before he can start pacing again, "for all your talk of hearing me out, and listening… you haven't exactly let me say anything about this. Or at least, not what I need to say to you."

Alec nods, taking Magnus' hand between his own and slotting their fingers together, playing with them as he sighs. "That's… more than fair. I'm sorry."

"It's just—"

"It's because I'm _scared_ , Magnus," Alec says, his voice rising in irritation, and to Magnus' horror, when Alec turns to look at him properly, his eyes are beginning to brighten with tears.

"Alexander. Scared? Of what?"

"Of what it is you're gonna say to me?" Alec says with a crack in his voice, dropping Magnus' hands with a bitter laugh even as he tries to smile.

Magnus is lost, has no idea what to make of Alec's words. "We can't resolve anything between us if we don't talk."

"Then… what happens now?" Alec says, his eyes uncertain. Magnus' gaze is drawn to Alec's side where he clenches and unclenches his hand. Even his jaw is trembling, and as he watches him, Magnus is sure he's never felt so out of his depth.

"Alec—"

"I mean," Alec says quietly, reaching out and squeezing his shoulder, though not quite looking at him, "are you gonna try to talk to me? Or just… what do you want to happen here?"

Magnus is terrified of saying or doing the wrong thing. Of pushing Alec away permanently, yet also of having him near. Because Catarina was right; Alec is the best thing that has happened to him in his entire life. Yet what if he keeps doing this? Shutting himself off any time there is any hint of trouble, until the light fades in Alec's eyes when he looks at him, and he walks away for good?

"I… I don't know how to do this," Magnus says, his voice cracking, pleading with Alec silently to understand.

"It's easy."

"It isn't."

"Sure it is," Alec says with a half-shrug, still looking anywhere but at him. "Just start with what you want to say, or have happen, right this second. We'll take it from there."

"I…" Magnus doesn't know what to say. He keeps staring at Alec, wanting so many things from him, yet is too frightened to ask. Magnus watches Alec lift his head to stare back at him and catches the moment Alec gives up on trying, his heart beating hard in protest when Alec begins to turn away.

* * *

 


	21. Chapter 21

"Wait," Magnus blurts out in panic, reaching out to grab Alec's arm before he can get too far.

Alec looks down at his fingers tightly gripping the cuff of his jacket before lifting his head to look at his face. "What?"

"I want… what I really want, right now, in this moment," Magnus says, swallowing hard and telling his eyes they aren't stinging, "is for you to… if you could… I really just need a _hug_."

Alec's arms are around him immediately, pulling Magnus against him. Magnus drops his head against Alec's and shuffles closer still, sighing in relief when Alec squeezes him tight.

"See?" Alec says with a soft laugh as he nudges against him. "That wasn't so difficult."

"I'm not used to asking for… anything."

"Well _get_ used to it," Alec retorts, nudging against him, then looping his arms loose around Magnus' waist and looking like he has no intention of moving.

He stares at Magnus without saying a word, nodding to himself when Magnus doesn't speak. Alec steps back to take off his jacket, walking back towards the door and hanging it up in the closet there before turning to Magnus with a curious smile for the way he is staring at him. "What?"

"Were you… nothing."

"Magnus," Alec says, coming to a stop in front of him. "Did you really think I was gonna go?"

"Don't give up on me," Magnus blurts out, and immediately hates himself for it, for the weakness it shows in him. These aren't his words, they aren't the things he ever lets himself say out loud.

"Magnus," Alec says softly as he moves closer, "I already told you I'm not going anywhere."

"But—"

"But this is all new to me too," Alec adds, smiling. "I don't… I don't know if I'm supposed to message you constantly asking you to let me in and talk to me. I don't know if I'm right to keep my distance hoping you'll come to me when you're ready. I don't know what I'm _doing_."

Magnus loathes himself even more in that moment for the confusion he's causing Alec. He drops his head back down on his shoulder not wanting to see the look on his face, closing his eyes as Alec runs his hands over his back.

"This isn't fair to you," Magnus says, the words coming out muffled.

"No, it isn't," Alec agrees, "but I… that doesn't mean I'm going anywhere. I just need to understand. If you'll let me."

"There really is no big story here," Magnus says, shaking his head against Alec's shoulder, to which Alec huffs and pushes him back, holding him at arm's length in a loose grip.

"So. Your mother didn't die when you were really little. Your dad hasn't been a manipulative ass your entire life. The people who took you in as a kid didn't treat you like you were nothing but a burden to them. You didn't keep finding people in your life that made you feel like you weren't worth anything, because that was your _normal_. No, Magnus," Alec huffs with a disbelieving raised eyebrow. "Nothing horrible has ever happened in your life _at all_."

When they're not fighting Alec _listens_ to him, Magnus thinks, not sure why this is a surprise to him after all the conversations they've shared throughout the time they've been together, and even before. Sometimes Magnus' favorite thing to do is to curl up with Alec in bed swapping stories and anecdotes until they're either laughing, or falling asleep. He misses it, and will do anything he can to get it back.

"It's in the past."

"If it's in the past, why is your instinct to shut people out?" Alec points out, shaking his head in denial of his words. "Why, when things get difficult, is your first thought that people are gonna think you're _too much_?"

"Well. My father—"

"Is nothing to do with this," Alec retorts.

"Well. He _is._ "

"Okay," Alec agrees, nodding, "maybe he is. Maybe he's the reason behind so much of what has happened. But Magnus, he… you've let him have this hold over you all this time. You could—there are so many things you could have done to… why do you keep letting him have this hold on you, when he causes you nothing but trouble? Or problems?"

"I don't mean to," Magnus says, sighing. "I suppose I am used to him always being a part of my life. Even if that part is always… problematic."

"Why?" Alec says, shaking his head.

"Would you be able to walk away from _your_ father entirely?" Magnus asks, which feels a strange thing to say. Magnus feels like he's defending his own father, when he gave up trying to care about the man so long ago.

"I… honestly, don't know," Alec says after a moment. "But, Magnus. For all my dad's faults—and he has a lot of them, I know he does—he's still, for the most part, acted like a dad. He still raised me, and listens to me if I need to talk, and… he's not a great dad. I can't ever really forgive him for what he's put Mom through. But he's… I guess what I'm trying to say, is that I won't ever let him have the kind of hold over me that your dad has over you."

It's fair, Magnus knows it is, even if it's hard to hear.

"My dad, for everything he's ever done, would never have left me as a kid with total strangers," Alec adds, staring back at him hard. "He might have repeatedly told me I had to do the family name proud, and told me I never tried hard enough. But he never once abandoned me as a kid. Never… Magnus, he's never played the mind games your dad clearly has spent your entire life playing with you."

Magnus nods, because this is also true, and he has no way of denying it. "I suppose I'm just used to having to deal with things on my own."

"See, that's _bullshit_ , Magnus," Alec says, his voice raising. "You _don't_ have to deal with things on your own. Even before me, you had Catarina, and Ragnor, and Luke; how many times have you tried to shut them out too, huh? How many times have they not given up on you, even when you're determined that they will? Even if you do everything you can to make them walk them away like it feels like you've been trying to do with me?"

Magnus thinks of all the times he's shut the world out, convinced he doesn't have a single friend left. It's selfish, and self-fulfilling, ensuring all those around him become so exasperated with being pushed away that they walk away for good.

"It's not—"

"You're a drama queen," Alec says then, his voice laced with affection. "I’m sorry, Magnus, but Raphael was right.”

“You’re agreeing with Raphael? After _one_ poker evening together?” Magnus retorts, though can’t help smiling for it.

“You are, Magnus,” Alec replies, laughing. “Sometimes, when you get something in your head, you blow everything up out of proportion, and refuse to listen to anyone else's point of view."

"I do _not_."

"You _do_ , Magnus," Alec insists, cupping his face and smiling at him. "I'm not saying you don't have every right to be mad about all the crap your dad's pulled—or anyone else—but you don't have to… Magnus. You can be mad about stuff, and upset, and angry. And then you can _talk_ about it. Ask someone to listen. No one's gonna… you're allowed to be _you_ , Magnus. You don't have to pretend nothing gets to you, or that you're… above being hurt, or something."

"Are you saying that I am overreacting about my father?" Magnus asks, even though he knows that's not what Alec is saying at all.

"I'm saying that, amongst other things, you were overreacting about how you thought  _I_  was going to react about your father," Alec retorts. "You decided I wasn't gonna be able to deal with knowing he's… well. Essentially breaking the law in apparently a hundred different ways."

"Your parents are _lawyers_ , Alec. I can only imagine you have grown up in a household that has the utmost respect for the law."

"And yet you're skipping over the part where it's _my dad_ that's helped yours break the law until now," Alec points out, raising an eyebrow again.

"Well," Magnus says, having to avert his eyes for how foolish he now feels. "I suppose there is that."

"You also decided that there would be problems between _us_ because of our dads, when all this stuff between them has nothing to do with our lives," Alec points out. "I'm not gonna pretend I'm not mad that you didn't let me have a say in how I was gonna react to all of this."

"I'm sorry."

"Good," Alec says, kissing him hard then smiling at him in triumph, "you should be."

"I am."

"Then don't do it again," Alec retorts, wrapping Magnus up in a hug and pressing kisses into his neck. Magnus clings on tight, smiling, and bracing for Alec to keep talking. When he doesn't, Magnus nudges for him to speak.

"What?"

"You don't have anything else you want to say?"

"I have plenty of stuff I wanna _hear_ ," Alec replies, looping his arms back around Magnus' waist.

"Like what?"

"Magnus," Alec laughs, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "You told me you had stuff to tell me. So spill."

Magnus thinks of his evening with Luke when he had attempted to reassure him, then of his father no longer being his problem, and thinks that it's all irrelevant now. "I don't… I don't know what else I have to say about… _him_. Everything."

"So you… just want to forget about it? Like none of this ever happened?" Alec asks.

"Well. Honestly, _yes_. Alexander; I have been so out of my depth with this—"

"You don't think that _I've_ been feeling out of my depth with all of this?" Alec interrupts, seeming to force himself to keep eye contact.

"With my father?"

"No, Magnus. With you. With _us_ ," Alec says in clear exasperation. "You _know_ I've never had anything like what we've had together before."

Magnus freezes, not sure how he's supposed to answer. "Well," he tries, "technically, neither have I."

"I've never come _close_ to having a relationship before, Magnus. I don't… everything I'm feeling, it's… so much. I mean it's _good_ ; even if it is overwhelming at times."

"It's… overwhelming, being with me?" Magnus asks, knowing his words are selfish, yet needing to know either way if Alec is about to say this is all too difficult. That he is too much to be with, as he has long known that he is.

Alec actually growls at him, wrapping Magnus up in a fierce hug and smacking several hard kisses over his neck and shoulder before pulling back. "I didn't _say_ that. We're gonna have to work on this… you putting words in my mouth."

"Alec—"

"What I meant is that… this is all so much. I… I'm feeling like… I _feel_ so much. For _you_. And I… it scares me that I feel like this so… so _soon_."

"What… what are you saying?"

"I… I didn't know what it meant when you kept shutting me out like you did, and just… I stayed away because I was… Magnus, I was terrified," Alec says, leaving Magnus to monitor the way he seems to be fighting to keep looking at him when he so clearly wants to look away.

"Terrified?" Magnus repeats, not understanding what he means at all. "Of what?"

"You not really wanting to be with me, since you didn't really wanna share this stuff with me?" Alec says as he pulls out of Magnus' grasp, his eyes brightening again and his jaw trembling. "You maybe breaking up with me because I don't know how to do… anything of this?"

Alec's words are the last Magnus would have ever expected to hear from him and leave him stunned, lost for how to answer. Though for the lost look on Alec's face, he has to try. "Alexander—"

"I kept thinking that… every time we saw each other, I kept thinking that _this_ would be the time when you told me it was too hard to be with me, because I don't know the first thing about being with anyone at all. That _this_ would be the time when I lost the… when I lost the best thing I've ever had in my whole life."

Alec won't look at him. His fist repeatedly clenches down by his side, and the tension in him when Magnus tries to reach out leaves Alec rigid, half-turned away from him.

"Why would you say that? Why would you _think_ that?" Magnus asks softly, stroking his fingertips down Alec's arm until he can slot their hands together.

"You already decided how I was gonna feel," Alec says, dropping his head and still facing away from him. "You didn't want—any time something came up with your dad, you just… it was like you put this wall between us so you didn't have to deal with it. With _me_."

Since Alec won't turn when Magnus tries to tug on his arm Magnus steps around him until they are facing, gently nudging Alec's chin until he looks up. "Alec—"

"I think I'm falling in love with you," Alec blurts out, closing his eyes but then clenching his jaw as he forces himself to look at Magnus, his look for him so determined that it's almost a scowl. "I _know_ I am. I already am."

Magnus shakes his head, sure he's misheard him. "I—"

"And I know it's too soon," Alec adds quickly with a guilty smile, still darting his eyes everywhere he can but Magnus. "I know it's too much. I didn't want to… I just—"

"Who said that it's too soon?" Magnus says softly, swirling his thumb over the back of Alec's hand. There is a heat, a warmth beginning to settle in him that feels like contentment. That teases Magnus with the thought of getting everything he wants.

"I don't know," Alec says, shrugging. "I only know that… we've been together for months now, but we're… sometimes I think we're still _new_ , you know? Like… I don't know, Magnus. I don't know how this works. I don't know if I'm supposed to feel like this, or think this much, or… I don't know, Magnus."

"Well—"

"And the thought of you not wanting that—not wanting _me_. Or just… not feeling the same, then I… I didn't know how to do this," Alec says, finally settling his gaze on Magnus and letting him see how his jaw trembles, how there is still fear and sadness in his eyes. "I didn't wanna not be there for you, but you shut me out. And I thought you were… this was your way of maybe saying you didn't want this with me anymore. Didn't want _me._ "

Magnus doesn't know what to say. Alec looks so lost, and hurt, and far more uncertain of himself than Magnus thinks he has ever seen him. He squeezes Alec's hand, hoping he'll find the right words to say by the time he looks up.

"Alexander. Everything you said to me about shutting people out. About… deciding I was alone in all of this—in _everything_. There is far more truth to that than I want there to be."

Alec nods and squeezes his hand to encourage him, but doesn't add anything else.

"But you always seemed so sure of yourself."

"Yeah, well I'm _not_ ," Alec retorts, looking away again.

"Neither am I," Magnus says, squeezing his hand, and when Alec looks at him lifting it to kiss the back of. "And I am sorry that I left you alone in this. That I… that what I did made you doubt what we have together. Because you were right; we are _better_. Than anything else I have ever experienced with anyone."

"You mean that?" Alec asks, his voice soft and his expression seeming to be torn between hope and not wanting to trust too hard.

"I do," Magnus replies, tugging him closer and cupping his face. "I _do_ mean it. But I think we… I think perhaps we need to learn from all of this."

"I… want us to," Alec replies, swirling his thumb over the back of his hand as he stumbles closer still.

"Do you… think you can forgive me for being so… overdramatic?" Magnus adds, letting himself breathe freer for the beginnings of Alec's teasing smile.

"Maybe I like you when you're being overdramatic. Just… maybe not so much when it's with _me_. Or _against_ me."

Magnus smiles back at him helplessly, his heart beginning to thud in excitement. "Then… I'll remember that."

"And do you think you can forgive _me_ for being so… clueless in how to deal with any of this?" Alec adds, his eyes still bright.

"There is nothing to forgive," Magnus replies, raising Alec's hand to kiss the back of again, and staring until Alec gives him an easier smile.

"Also," Magnus adds, leaning against him, "what you were saying before about how you feel. It's not too soon. And it's… not too much."

"No?"

"No."

"Then…"

"I feel the same," Magnus says, arguing with himself about still holding back, though cupping Alec's face between his palms as he figures out his words before kissing him quickly. "It's just that… the first time I _tell_ you that, I don't want it to be because we've… argued."

Alec's smile for him is a sweet one that Magnus has to lean in to taste. He closes his eyes as Alec locks his arms around his waist, leaning against him when he tugs. They stay closed as Alec deepens their kiss, Magnus feeling like Alec is relearning the shape of him at the same time as he gets a sense of home.

Magnus skims his fingertips over Alec's sides, humming when Alec lets go of him only to cup his face. Alec is insistent, heated with his kisses, the look they share adding even more to that heat. It begins to curl pressure in Magnus' core, an ache for how much he _wants_ Alec leaving Magnus pressing forward until Alec stumbles backward. And with only a look between them, they are turning, hand in hand as they make their way to his bedroom.

"I missed you," Magnus says as he reaches out to sweep his hands over Alec's chest.

"I _need_ you," Alec replies, and only another few seconds pass before they are clawing at one another, hungry kisses in between pulling at each other's clothes.

Magnus is on his back before he has chance to say another word, groaning when Alec slots himself between his legs and settles on his forearms. Magnus nudges him up so he can look at them both beginning to thicken, then sweeps his hands down his back to grab Alec's ass, and drags him back down into a kiss.

It doesn't feel like they can get close enough. Magnus rolls his hips to meet Alec as he begins to writhe against him, constantly fluttering his hands over his back and sides. He needs more; Magnus quickly flips them over, and the _look_ Alec gives him for it fires heat through his core. Magnus wants all of him at once, can't get his hands on Alec fast enough. Alec arches as he sweeps his hands up through his chest hair and grips lightly around his wrists, squeezing for Magnus to look at him.

"Can I stay tonight?"

"It's barely afternoon yet."

"Still. Can I?" Alec insists as he runs his thumbs over the backs of Magnus' wrists.

"Alexander," Magnus says, bracing himself so he isn't squashing Alec beneath him, "you never have to ask that. Of course you can."

"Then… we have _time_ ," Alec tells him, tilting his chin up for a kiss as he releases his grip on him.

Magnus smiles, happy to indulge him, kissing Alec as he rolls his hips and humming as they begin to knock together. "Well. I don't know how much time we have right _now_. I have missed you a _lot_."

"Oh. How horrible. We'll just have to stay here in this bed for _hours_ to make up for it."

Magnus snorts for the sarcasm in Alec's voice, though groans when he distracts him by circling his thumb over his cockhead. He shifts to brace on one arm so he can slot his fingers through Alec's, the two of them groaning as they begin to fuck into their joined hands. Magnus plays with the hair at Alec's temple as they trade kisses, catching and echoing his relieved smile.

The headboard slams back against the wall with their urgency for one another, both of them spilling over their knuckles with hard groans after just a few minutes. Magnus presses his head into Alec's neck and closes his eyes, concentrating only on the tremors of their orgasms until they both have calmed, before moving his head again.

"See?" Alec says with a huff of laughter as he runs his free hand down Magnus' back to rest on his ass. "Gonna have to stay here for hours to do more of _that_."

"I'm… all yours," Magnus replies, ducking in for a kiss before he rolls over on to his back and grabs a box of tissues from his nightstand.

"Yes. You are," Alec agrees as he takes a wad and begins to clean himself up, already rolling over and pulling Magnus to him before he's done.

Magnus tosses the box behind him and goes as guided, splaying his fingers around Alec's hip.

Alec's eyes flicker as they study his face, his mouth twisting up into a small smile.

"You're tired."

"I am," Magnus agrees, though purposely drops his gaze to take in the bags under Alec's own eyes.

"Then. Maybe we can sleep for a little bit," Alec suggests, leaning in to kiss him and wriggling to get comfortable as Magnus has grown so used to him doing. He hums in answer, leaning in for another kiss.

"I can't think of a better way to spend the afternoon."

* * *

Magnus wakes to an empty bed. He sweeps his hand out across the sheets expecting to find Alec's skin, turning his head to see no sign of him at all. But for what feels like the first time in his life Magnus isn't hit with the worry that his lover has _left_ him. He stretches languidly out on the bed and yawns, feeling rested as he hasn't in days. Though his bladder won't let him completely rest, dragging him from the bed to relieve himself. When he walks back into the bedroom it's to find Alec returning with a tray. Magnus watches him carefully slide it on to the nightstand nearest to him and catches a glimpse of his favorite tea set.

"Hey," Alec says, turning and leaning in to kiss him. "Thought maybe we could drink something."

"Thank you."

"Thought I'd bring it through here so I can keep you here in bed," Alec adds, sweeping his hands down Magnus' sides to rest on his ass and pull him closer.

"Well. I can't say I have a single objection to your intentions."

Alec hums in agreement, nudging Magnus back until he knows to climb back into bed. Magnus watches as he bends to pick up his pants that are strewn near the bedroom door, smiling as Alec looks up waving his phone.

"I should probably check my phone too," Magnus says as he watches Alec searches in his jacket pocket and hands his phone to him.

"I just wanted to turn it off," Alec says, not even giving his phone more than a second's glance before pressing the side of it and pushing it on to the nightstand. "I'm… I just wanna be here with you, without any interruptions for a while."

Magnus' heart flutters for his words, quickly turning his own phone off and stretching to put it on the nightstand on his side of the bed. He laughs as Alec seizes the opportunity to kneel on the bed, pressing kisses up Magnus' turned back.

"You made us tea?" Magnus asks as he settles back against the nightstand, nodding to Alec to rest the tray on the bed.

"Not like there wasn't a ton to choose from," Alec retorts, lifting the teapot lid for him to inspect. "I tried to remember that recipe you showed me once. That… you said it was good in summer, for refreshment."

"Oh?"

"There's… peppermint leaves, some orange peel. Lemongrass, hibiscus, and I found a little rosehip. You're almost out now."

"It's on order," Magnus replies, helplessly grinning at him.

"What?" Alec asks in mock exasperation even as he leans in for a kiss.

"Nothing. It's perfect."

Alec hums as though he doesn't believe him, holding on to Magnus' thigh as he sits cross-legged and pours them tea.

"This is great. Thank you," Magnus says, his heart feeling like it might burst for Alec remembering a tea recipe, of all things. He tells himself he's ridiculous but doesn't care at all.

"So I, uh… I didn't do a great job of listening to you earlier," Alec says as they settle, and he hands Magnus over his teacup.

"Well. I did say I wanted to forget about—"

"I think it's important, Magnus. That you… I'd really like to understand how this… how we got to so… how things got so messy between us."

"It's—"

"I kept running out on you when you were trying to talk to me, and I… that didn't help at all," Alec adds, wincing in remorse.

Magnus sips at his tea stalling for time, since he hasn't got a clue what he wants to say. "This isn't all because of one singular event, or… perhaps the reason we keep starting and ending these conversations is that I don't know how to talk about this."

"Well. I'm not saying we can resolve all of this in one conversation, or anything," Alec replies, squeezing his leg. "But I'd really like it if we—if you could just—if you felt okay to just tell me whatever it is that's going on in there," Alec says, leaning over to press a kiss to Magnus' forehead before resting his own there.

Magnus wants to stall, to make a glib comment to avoid the serious look on Alec's face. But the need he's always felt to get out of a difficult conversation isn't there with Alec like it has been with everybody else. He _wants_ to open up to Alec, and perhaps that is why this whole thing has been so hard. Because he _wanted_ to talk, and Alec wasn't ready to listen.

"I… am not sure where to start."   

"Well. We don't have to talk about _everything_ in one day," Alec points out again. "Start with something. Anything. We'll take it from there."

"I was terrified that my father might hurt you," Magnus blurts out, surprising them both with his choice of words.

"I… seriously?"

"That he threatened you, I—"

"Magnus," Alec whispers, sweeping his hand down Magnus' leg, "I'm fine."

"I know. I just don't know how I would have lived with myself if this had been the one time I allowed myself to try and ignore his words, and something had happened."

Alec nods, sipping at his tea in thought, his fingers tapping absently along the edge of the tray. "Well. I don't mean to sound dismissive of everything you've been through, worrying about all of this. But he's… he's really not your problem anymore. You don't have to—there is nothing he can possibly do to you, or anyone now."

"I know," Magnus agrees, even if he is still having trouble believing it. "And with his business being dissolved, it isn't even as though he has anything to… he can't come _back_ and start all this up with me again, if this extradition doesn't work out."

"That was a hell of a list of charges," Alec says, snorting, shaking his head in disbelief.

"It is. I am both surprised and unsurprised."

Alec smiles at him over his cup but doesn't say anything, and Magnus wonders if this is his way of trying to get him to talk. Magnus needs another moment though, relishing in the stillness of the room, the peace that is now between them, happy just to sit here in silence with Alec. Alec seems to feel the same, smiling back at him still with a light grip around his leg looking in no hurry to force their conversation or do anything at all.  

Alec tops up his tea when Magnus has drained his cup, rearranging the tray so he can sit by his side. He lifts his arm for Magnus to duck beneath, sighing against his mouth when Magnus immediately leans in for a kiss. Then squeezes him into his side and nuzzles against his head.

"Magnus. Talk to me."

Magnus nods, shifting to get more comfortable, unable to resist sweeping his hand along Alec's inner thigh, stroking his fingers over his length. Alec gives a pointed look at their cups of tea making Magnus duck his head to hide his laughter. Though he knows he is still stalling, and tries to talk himself out of it.

"Well," Magnus says, with a kiss to his shoulder, "it's… I haven't enjoyed being _here_ the past few days."

"Here? At home?"

"Yes."

"You had… too much work? Not enough?" Alec asks, showing nothing but understanding.

"It was a mixture of… I have been told I don't do very well on my own."

"In what way?"

"What I mean is," Magnus says, nervously looking away, "is that, with us arguing—or at least, not talking—I couldn't help but think about how it felt to be alone after Camille."

Alec closes his eyes and sighs, sagging against him, immediately leaning in for a kiss. "Magnus. I'm sorry."

"You don't need to be sorry."

"Of course I do," Alec says, pressing a kiss to his temple. "Magnus, I don't want anything I do, or about us being together to remind you of anything bad."

"There will always be things that are reminders," Magnus points out, "it is out of our hands."

"Still. I don't wanna be part of anything that makes you sad."

"I think I am more than capable of making myself _sad_ , without any help," Magnus says with a soft sigh.

"Drink your tea," Alec urges him as he drains his own cup.

"What?"

"Drink it," Alec insists, holding on to Magnus' hand for leverage as when they are done he puts everything back on their tray and lowers it to the floor. "Now. Come here."

Magnus watches him splay his legs and pat the gap between them, smiling as he crawls to settle in his arms. He closes his eyes to the kisses pressed up the length of his neck and along his shoulder, letting his head drop back there before continuing to talk.

"I was a mess when Camille was gone," Magnus says, wishing his head didn't feel with images of her as he speaks. "Not necessarily because of her, though I can't pretend it didn't hurt me that she didn't care for me as I cared for her."

"You don't have to pretend. Not with me."

"In any case," Magnus says, turning just enough to steal an awkwardly-angled kiss. "It was more the… confirmation."

"Of what?"

"That I… that relationships were something unobtainable to me. That I was too much for anyone to want to stay with me."

"Magnus—"

"And I couldn't deal with it," Magnus adds, shaking his head against Alec's. "So I did everything I could to keep myself busy. So I wouldn't be alone with my own thoughts, or would be too exhausted to listen to the constant memories churning around in my head."

"I think I can understand that," Alec tells him, squeezing him close. "I try to throw myself into work or something when I don't want to think."

"Too much work is far healthier than the constant string of parties and drinking I indulged in," Magnus replies, shaking his head. "My life became a constant cycle of either partying or recovering from partying. Too occupied or too sick to think about anything at all. I never wanted to be home, and when I _was_ home, I never wanted to be anywhere else. It was an awful period of my life during which I… worried too many people with my behavior."

"Catarina?"

"And Ragnor," Magnus agrees, squeezing his eyes shut to avoid the worry he can still see on their faces. "I was a mess. I felt as though Camille—what happened with her—was proof that I was not meant to be in a relationship. I felt alone, and empty, and that, I suppose, made sense to me."

"Magnus," Alec says so softly Magnus only just catches it before Alec is pressing kisses into his neck and squeezing his arms around him, only stopping when Magnus reaches up to slot his fingers through Alec's hair. "I'm so sorry you felt like that."

"It's in the past," Magnus says, still playing with Alec's hair as he shakes his head.

"It that's the case, I don't think you'd have… Magnus, you aren't alone, okay? You aren't. And you deserve _everything_ , Magnus. I don't want you to—you do so much for other people, and you can't… you aren't alone, okay? People love you, and they love having you in their lives."

Magnus runs his hands over Alec's arms repeatedly, not trusting himself to speak. He closes his eyes and concentrates on the kisses to his neck and Alec gripping him tighter between his thighs. He is drained even by getting these few words out, and grateful that Alec seems to sense that, doing nothing to force him to keep talking.

They talk better when it's unforced, Magnus thinks, nuzzling back against Alec. When they're sated and sleepy, cocooned beneath their comforters. The words flow so easily when they aren't making a big deal out of them. He would rather lay here with Alec and speak of nothing than be forced to say another word.

"You know," Alec says as he presses a harder kiss to the side of his head, "when I was… when Izzy and Jace both started dating, I… it was the first time I started _worrying_ , I guess, that how I felt was _wrong_."

"Oh?" Magnus says, reaching back again to slot his fingers through Alec's hair, happy to listen even if he doesn't want to speak.

"I just… I think I already knew by then that I looked at guys the way Jace did girls. That… when the three of us were together and talking, I understood more about what, uh… _things_ Izzy was attracted to than I ever did Jace."

Magnus nods against him, nudging for him to keep talking.

"I kept… I didn't even know what people _did_ on dates," Alec says, groaning and laughing at the same time. "I'd sit there when they were both out, up in my room just… thinking about what they might be doing. Not really knowing what I'd want to do with anyone if I was on a date."

"Well. I suppose there is no set formula."

"No," Alec agrees, "but it wasn't that. It was more… I knew _I_ couldn't date, because the only people I was interested in, I shouldn't be interested in at all. And I wasn't even sure what that _interest_ meant either, to be honest. I didn't even try to take a girl out on a date until college, and that was just to… I guess to pretend that everything was _normal_ for me. I never felt _normal_."

"Normal is an awful word."

"It is. But it's… sometimes when you see everything so _normal_ around you, and you don't know how to be a part of it, it's all you want. Even if what it means to make you normal isn't what you want at all."

Magnus smiles, feeling like he doesn't need to add a thing. Alec has said the exact words he has always felt but never said out loud.

"When we were growing up, and they were out on dates, I started feeling more and more left out because of it," Alec says, sighing. "I didn't… it wasn't that I resented them, exactly? Just that… I didn't know where I _fit_ anymore."

"I understand that feeling," Magnus says softly as he turns, kneeling between Alec's legs. "I understand it far too well."

Alec is touching him immediately, walking his fingertips over Magnus' chest in exploration. Magnus watches his fingers on him, hooking his wrists over his shoulders as he sighs. "I don't think you have any idea how beautiful you are."

Magnus ducks his head and smiles, his cheeks burning with blushes. Though when Alec's palms flatten against his skin in broad sweeps that stroke down over his thighs, Magnus looks up and shuffles closer, looping his arms around Alec's neck and leaning in for a kiss. It feels _safe_ here with Alec, Magnus feeling free to be exactly who he is like he never has with anyone else. A look passes between them suggesting there will be no more talking for a while.

* * *

"Good morning."

Magnus is smiling before he even opens his eyes, pleased that Alec still seems to know the very moment he is awake. He presses a kiss to Alec's shoulder blade and squeezes his arm around his waist, tucking his knees up behind Alec's from where they have separated in the night.

"Good morning, Alexander."

"I gotta say. That's the best I've slept since I… since I last fell asleep with you," Alec tells him, slotting his fingers through Magnus' and squeezing.

Magnus smiles again, that same contented heat in his gut from yesterday washing through him, the thought of more mornings just like this one inviting him to nuzzle against Alec's back. "Me too."

Alec rolls over without warning, pulling Magnus into a one arm hug, tucking his chin over his shoulder as he does. He moves back to kiss him before pulling back and smiling. "And this is the best way to wake up any morning."

Magnus grins back at him, sweeping a hand down Alec's side, settling it around his waist. "It is."

"Even if it means I've got a ton of work to catch up on from yesterday because I took the day off," Alec adds, groaning a little before hiding a yawn in his pillow, blinking back at Magnus with sleepy eyes.

"You took the day off?" Magnus says, knowing he must sound surprised for the soft look Alec gives him.

"As soon as Dad called me to say he wanted to see you."

" _Alexander_."

"It was just a case of pushing back a couple of meetings. Everything else I can figure out," Alec says, cupping his face and drawing Magnus into a kiss. "So if you dare try to apologize for me wanting to take the day off to be with you—"

"I won't," Magnus says quickly even if his heart is skipping in excitement for it.

"Well, _good_."

"Though I am sorry you have a long day ahead because of it."

"I'm sure you have stuff to catch up on from yesterday too," Alec replies, shrugging.

"Not too much. I got caught up the past few days. In truth, I am probably ahead of myself with most of my orders," Magnus admits, thinking of his struggle to keep busy these past few days just to stop his mind racing with all the things he hasn't known how to handle.

"Magnus," Alec whispers, kissing him again, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"I mean it. Let's… I don't ever want to fight with you again. About anything."

Alec is so earnest as he takes Magnus' hand, swirling his thumb over the back of it. Magnus doesn't want to either, though doesn't know how to say it out loud. So just leans in to kiss him, nodding in agreement.

"Though, I can't say I did anything different," Alec adds, squeezing his hand again.

"Oh?"

"Every time I had a minute to myself, I went to the gym, so I didn't have to listen to myself _think_. Didn't… Magnus," Alec laughs, groaning as he drops his forehead against Magnus', "I don't think I stopped _moving_ since I saw you last."

"Well. You haven't exactly stopped moving since you arrived here yesterday, either," Magnus retorts, winking as he squeezes Alec's hip.

Alec's smile is loaded, as is the kiss he claims as he closes the gap between them, sweeping his hand down Magnus' back to settle on his ass. "No. I guess I haven't."

"Though, I suppose we shouldn't get too carried away if you have to catch up at work."

Alec groans, turning his face to press into his pillow, wriggling in indignance when Magnus laughs. "Spoil my fun."

"Oh, you can have all the fun you want with me—after work."

"Actually… I don't suppose you feel like dinner tonight, at my place?" Alec asks, already wincing. "With my _mom_? She was asking."

Magnus smiles when Alec looks at him, reaching out to squeeze his hand. "I'd love to."

And he would. The idea of an evening in the company of Alec's mother is just further proof that things are going to be okay between him and Alec. He doesn't really need the proof, of course, because he has this sense of certainty he's never experienced before about them—and _likes._ But the idea of a little normality after the past few days sounds perfect to Magnus; as does the idea of a home-cooked meal he hasn't made himself.

"You're… you can stay, if you want," Alec adds with a slightly nervous smile. "I mean, I _want_ you to. But only if you're not bothered by my mom being there."

Alec looks so hopeful, that Magnus would have no way of saying no even if he wanted to.

"Of course," he says as he steals a kiss, "even if I don't think I will be able to look your mother in the eye in the morning if _somebody_ can’t keep their voice down."

"Hey. Is it my fault you can’t keep your hands to yourself?" Alec asks, deliberately stroking a path down Magnus’ chest and walking his fingers over his length.

"That is entirely your fault. What does that have to do with you being so loud?"

“Everything,” Alec retorts with a wicked smile. “It's not my fault you feel like you do.”

“And how is that?”

“You know,” Alec replies, shifting closer until they’re pressed together at every point possible, curling his hand around Magnus’ hip.

“You never complain about that when you’re here.”

“Oh. I never complain about that when I’m anywhere.”

Magnus laughs at the kisses peppered over his face, smiling when Alec pulls back to look at him, squeezing his arm to get Alec’s attention. "Though I meant it when I said that you are welcome to stay here, whenever you like, for as long as you want."

"I know," Alec agrees, closing his eyes. "I should've… I should have left a change of clothes here. Maybe I should go get my bag back from Steven's. I'll… otherwise, I'll have nothing to change into for work. Unless I borrow something."

"You are welcome to. Though, your arms are a _little_ longer than mine."

"Yeah," Alec says, huffing as he deliberately grips Magnus around the bicep and squeezes with a glint in his eye. "'cos that's the _only_ problem."

Magnus doesn't think he will ever stop grinning for the fascination Alec seems to have with his arms. But he likes it, especially for the kisses that follow the swirl of his thumbs over them.

"Well. The offer is there."

"It's fine," Alec says, yawning and shaking his head. "I should… I mean, I don't really think I'll be staying at Steven's again any time soon. Not now."

"Do you want to get breakfast with me?" Magnus asks, thinking of Alec's clothes still strewn over the bedroom floor, and how much better they would look in the space he's now planning making him in his closet. "That way, we could go to Steven's on the way, then—"

"Actually, I think his boyfriend just came to visit; better if it's not both of us interrupting," Alec blurts out, avoiding his eyes. "At least. I don't really want us to both walk in on them if… you know."

Magnus hums, sure that there is more to it for the way Alec keeps looking away from him, but lets it go. "Then perhaps another day."

"Tomorrow," Alec says, rolling until Magnus is pinned beneath him, showering him with kisses until Magnus laughs. "We can go to that cafe near the park that you like."

"That _we_ like."

"Okay," Alec says, laughing as he nudges his way between his legs. "That _we_ like."

"You don't… have to go right now, do you?" Magnus asks, sweeping his hands down Alec's back to cup his ass.

"Nope," Alec says, beginning to mouth up his neck, "I don't."

* * *

 

 


	22. Chapter 22

"Hey."

Magnus snorts with laughter at the pissed off scowl on Alec's face that greets him when he arrives at his apartment. Alec half-closes the door behind him stepping out into the hall, wrapping Magnus up in a tight hug.

"Well, hello," Magnus says, muffled for being squashed into his shoulder. "What's going on?"

"My mother has _company_."

"Oh?"

"Which, you know. I don't exactly _mind_ when I said she could have a couple of her meetings here," Alec adds, his hands absently slotting around Magnus' waist as Magnus grips him just above the elbows.

"But?"

"It's a little weird that she's having a… _social call_ ," Alec says after frowning, as though not sure of his words.

Magnus opens his mouth to speak but closes it again when Alec tugs on his hand, muttering _come on_ as they step inside the apartment. Alec is just sliding Magnus' overnight bag from his shoulder when Maryse is calling out to him in greeting, stepping forward to pull Magnus into an awkward hug.

"Hello, Mrs—"

"Please," she says squeezing his hands, "Maryse."

"Maryse."

"Mom," Alec says with an edge to his voice, "I'm gonna put Magnus' bag in my room. Why don't you, uh, _introduce_ him, to your _guest_?"

"I—"

Magnus is interrupted yet again, this time by Alec stomping away from them, and Maryse looping her arm through his.

"Alec might be behaving a little… _theatrically_ ," Maryse explains, though the way she is playing with her hair would suggest that isn't the case at all.

Magnus finds himself holding in another snort of laughter when Maryse tows him towards the couch, and a sheepish-looking Luke gets to his feet.

"Hey, Magnus."

"Well. _Luke_."

"Luke was just updating me on some news about some old friends of ours," Maryse says quickly, her eyes darting between them before she looks down.

"I see."

"Perhaps I should have… warned Alec, before having a house guest," Maryse adds, sounding nothing but guilty.

"Yeah," Alec agrees with a hard huff as he walks back in to join them, "that would've been good."

"Alec, I—"

"Magnus. You wanna help me in the kitchen?" Alec says with a glare to silence Luke as he walks away.

Magnus trails behind him, glancing over his shoulder, without a clue what he should say. "You didn't walk in on them… uh... well."

"No," Alec says with a groan when they are out of earshot, cupping Magnus' face to draw him in for a kiss. "It was just a _surprise_ coming home from work to find Luke sat there getting all _cozy_ with my mom. He's never even _been_ to my apartment before, Magnus."

"I'm… sorry."

"Hey," Alec says, smiling and shaking his head, "why are _you_ apologizing? I'm not angry at _you_. Why would I be? I just—"

"It was a surprise for you," Magnus finishes for him, looping his arms around his waist.

"Yeah. It _was_."

"I could… speak with him?"

"No," Alec says, shaking his head again and kissing him, "it's… not a big deal."

"Well—"

"She's still _married_ ," Alec hisses before spinning away, angrily walking over to the counter where it looks as though he's been preparing dinner. "I know my dad doesn't deserve her or anything—I don't even care about him in all this to be honest. But still. It's... I don't know what to do with this."

"You don't think they're already..."

"I don't know what to think," Alec protests, holding a piece of pepper up to Magnus' mouth as he leans back against the counter. "I didn't even get around to thinking about my mom _dating_ again yet. And if it turns out to be someone I _know_ —"

"Let's not think about that yet," Magnus says around the pepper, turning to wash his hands before taking out various pans for Alec to cook with. "I don't imagine either one of them will do anything while your parents are still divorcing."

"I'm not telling Izzy," Alec says, pulling off the lid of a bottle of olive oil with enough force for him to have to juggle with it so he doesn't drop it. "I can't deal with _that_."

"No."

"I just…" Alec begins to say before looking towards the living room and lowering his voice. "You'd think she would've at least _told_ me he was coming. This is… it's still my _home_ , you know?"

"I agree."

Alec's spoon clatters to the counter as he presses his hands around the edge of it, head bowed forward as he grumbles to himself. "I'm sorry," he says as he spins, pulling Magnus back from the counter and looping his arms around his waist, smiling. "This is not—it's stupid that I'm angry."

"It isn't."

"Well. I _feel_ stupid," Alec retorts, turning them so his back is against the counter and pulling Magnus so he is leaning against his chest.

Magnus sweeps his hands up over his shoulders doing his best to distract him, smiling as Alec hums against his mouth and his fingers flutter over his back. "Are you sure you want me to stay?"

" _Yes_ ," Alec says, pulling him closer, "don't leave me alone with her. She'll do nothing but look disappointed at me all night if you do."

"Well. We can't have that."

Alec drops his head into Magnus' neck and groans again, leaving Magnus time to control his smile. Alec clings tighter still when there is a clearing of a throat behind them.

"Listen, uh. I'm gonna take off."

Magnus avoids Alec's eyes when he pulls back from him, though stands by his side in solidarity as he turns to look at Luke.

"Okay."

"Alec," Luke says, wincing at the tone of Alec's voice, "I wasn't… I mean, I _wouldn't_ —"

"Uh huh."

"Maybe the three of us could get a drink later this week," Luke adds, darting his eyes at Magnus for what he thinks is his help. "I mean, you, me, and Magnus."

Magnus slots his fingers through Alec's and does his best to rein in his amusement. "Well. We will see what we can arrange."

"I'll, uh… call you tomorrow."

"Oh, you will," Magnus agrees, already looking forward to Luke's attempts to explain himself. This is going to be  _fun_.

"I'll, uh… I'll see myself out."

Neither of them move as Luke gives an awkward wave before walking away, with Alec sagging and smacking a kiss to Magnus' shoulder.

"Invites himself in. Lets himself out. I don't know, Magnus. You think I should just cut Luke a _key_?"

"Uh—"

" _You_ ," Alec says, picking up a spoon and pointing at Magnus.

"...yes?"

"I wanna hear how badly you embarrass him tomorrow," Alec says, beginning to grin at him. "Make it _hell._ Guy shows up at _my apartment_ to… I don't know. _Woo_ my mother—"

"I don't know if Luke was… _wooing._ "

"In any case," Alec says with both a sigh and a wicked glint in his eye, "I wanna hear about it. Every awkward word."

Magnus snorts with laughter, sweeping his hand down Alec's back and checking his face to make sure he's doing okay, then turns away, beginning to pull plates and cutlery from the familiar cupboards and drawers of Alec's kitchen. "I'll set the table."

"I'm gonna need a _lot_ of wine with dinner," Alec says, groaning as he finishes chopping the last of the vegetables.

"Good thing that I went shopping earlier," Maryse replies as she joins them in the kitchen with an embarrassed smile for them both, pulling glasses and a bottle of wine from another cupboard.

"Mom—"

"It's good to see you, Magnus," Maryse says, reaching out to squeeze his arm. "It's good to see the smile back on Alec's face. I'm glad you're here."

" _Mom_ —"

Maryse walks away without another word, only a teasing smile for Magnus to see as she passes.

Magnus presses a sympathetic kiss to Alec's shoulder, and turns away himself.

* * *

"Still not gonna tell me where you're taking me?"

Magnus laughs at the arms thrown around him from behind and the hard kisses pressed into his neck, covering Alec's hands with his own against his chest. "Nope."

"Then is it… is it far from here?" Alec asks as he releases him, only to snatch up Magnus' hand.

This is the first real date they have been out on since settling their _arguments_ , which seems to Magnus forever ago now. Most of their time together has been spent curled up together at Magnus', aside from dinner with Alec's mother, and Magnus' interrogation of _Luke_. But tonight they have the time, and both have later starts in the morning. Magnus has been planning this date for a couple of days and is pleased everything seems to be going right.

"Alexander," Magnus teases. "Are you telling me that you are tired already?"

"No," Alec retorts, pressing a kiss to his temple, "I'm just… curious."

"Impatient."

" _Intrigued_ ," Alec replies, nudging against his arm.

Magnus leans back against him, holding his hand up to hail a cab. They have just left the American Museum of Natural History, where they spent the best part of the afternoon exploring. Alec's eyes lit up when he'd mentioned the self-guided Earth and Space Tour, chattering to Magnus excitedly at half the exhibitions, and standing in awe staring at the rest.

Alec's face, as they'd stopped at the Dark Universe Exhibition, Magnus thinks he'll be smiling about for days. That, and the gentle way Alec had bent down to help a young boy re-tie his shoelace. The small smile on his face as he'd stood. And the wistful tugs it had pulled in Magnus' heart even though they are _far_ too new for thoughts like _that_.

"I thought we could get a hot dog," Magnus says as they settle in the back of the cab, immediately snatching up Alec's hand again.

"Sounds good."

"I feel as though I could suggest just about anything and you would go along with it," Magnus teases, earning himself a smirk and another kiss.

"Well, maybe," Alec agrees, "especially since you're the one that organized this _date_."

"Is that all it takes for you to agree with me?"

"Oh. I always agree with you when it's good for me."

"I'll keep that in mind. Now—"

Magnus stops speaking when he catches the grin of the driver in the rearview, who waves them on in encouragement and turns up the radio to give them privacy.

Alec catches his eye and snorts, raising his hand to kiss the back of before clearing his throat. "So. After hotdogs…?"

" _Impatient_ , Alexander," Magnus repeats, leaning into him.

Alec huffs against the side of his head and settles back in his seat, making idle conversation until they pull up near the High Line. As Magnus guides him to a hot dog stand he's looking ever more curious, eyes darting in every direction as he tries to figure out Magnus' surprise.

"Now. I think we will have just enough time to eat these on the way," Magnus says as they watch their dogs being made.

"On the way…?"

"You'll _see_."

Alec huffs but doesn't say anything else apart from _thank you_ when Magnus hands over his hotdog. Though when they have eaten, tidied each other up from spilled onion and wiped their fingers clean, he takes in the small crowd of people in front of them and the telescopes being set up, and his eyes light up in delight.

"Stargazing?"

"Apparently, this takes place every Tuesday, April through October," Magnus says, nodding towards the telescope nearest to them. "I wish I had known sooner. But if you ever feel like coming down here—assuming you like this, of course—then at least you now know where to come."

"Magnus," Alec says with a soft laugh as he turns and cups his face. "This is perfect. Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet," Magnus says, leaning against him briefly before tangling their fingers together. "I have no idea what this will be like."

Though he does, in a way, Magnus thinks, watching Alec as he looks around then introduces them both to one of the astronomers. When he had finally settled on an idea for this date, Magnus had spent hours looking up something for them to do involving astronomy. He'd gone through everything from buying Alec his own telescope to use on his balcony, to spending the evening as they are now.

Magnus knows he's made the right choice as he watches Alec in his element, trailing behind him as he excitedly talks about constellations. Happy to observe rather than take part himself, pleased that Alec is enjoying his night. He keeps turning to smile at him, seeking Magnus out whenever he gets so distracted by what he's looking at that he wanders off.

That it's been over a week since they first really _talked_ about all their disagreements is a surprise to Magnus, as much as it isn't at all. They have slotted back together exactly the same as they had been before Magnus' father came to stir up so many problems. Things are as easy between them as ever, and Magnus knows real _peace_ in his heart.

"I don't know what you're thinking," Alec says as he comes to stand in front of him, "but I think it must be pretty good for the smile on your face."

"It was about you," Magnus replies pressing his fingers to Alec's chest and raising his head for a kiss.

"Oh."

"Which is why I was smiling," Magnus adds as Alec wraps his hands around his waist.

"Well. That must be how _I_ look all the time."

Magnus' cheeks hurt for smiling so hard, content to just stand here and be held. Alec leans in for another kiss then is tugging him, nodding towards a telescope.

"You wanna look?"

"Oh, I wouldn't know—"

"I'll show you," Alec tells him, guiding Magnus to the eyepiece and holding on to his hips from behind. "Okay. So this one's set up to look at Saturn."

Magnus studies the dot on the screen, listening to the excitement in Alec's voice and trying to pay attention to his words. He goes as Alec leads, taking his turn at the various other telescopes to look up at the night sky. They stay until the very end, with Alec taking a card from one of the amateur astronomers and promising to keep in touch. Alec's face is still turned skywards as he takes Magnus' hand when the last people from the astronomy group have gone.

"You maybe wanna walk home?"

"Of course," Magnus agrees, "though can we stop for something to drink?"

"Anywhere in particular?"

"I don't know. Wherever is near. Perhaps we could get a coffee and keep walking."

Alec squeezes his hand to get Magnus' attention and leans in for another kiss. "Are you cold?"

"Not too cold."

Magnus smiles as Alec drops his hand to wrap an arm around his shoulders, tucking into his side.

"I can't believe you arranged all this for me," Alec says, squeezing him, " _thank you_."

"Of course. You know I would do anything I could to give you whatever makes you happy."

"Yeah, well. You already give me _you_. What else do I need?"

Magnus turns to smile at Alec, never failing to be surprised by how easily such words fall from his mouth. "Well. It's not as though I haven't enjoyed myself tonight as well."

"Yeah?"

"Of course. You looked as though you were enjoying yourself. What else do _I_ need?"

"Well. You do like seeing _that_ ," Alec says quietly with a look of promise as he leans in to kiss him.

"Perhaps I will see more of that when we get home."

"Oh, you will."

Magnus snorts at the wink he receives, ducking beneath Alec's arm as he holds the door open for the coffee shop they decide to stop in, ordering and stepping back outside within a few minutes.

"I have a question," Alec says as they make their way back to Magnus', still with his arm thrown around Magnus' shoulders to keep him warm.

"Oh?"

"Well," Alec says, pausing to sip at his coffee, "I said I'd go see Max in a couple of weekends from now. You… wanna come with? You haven't met him yet."

"I'd love to," Magnus says, curious to meet Alec's youngest brother, and wanting to see the school grounds he's heard so much of for himself.

"And I thought. Maybe if I take the afternoon, we can drive down there on Friday, and we can stay a couple of nights," Alec adds. "Spend the day with Max on Saturday, but… have a little time just for us."

"Alexander. That sounds perfect."

"Are you gonna… do your magic, and tell me you just _happen_ to have a client in the area with a beautiful hotel?" Alec teases, squeezing him close.

"Not this time," Magnus replies, laughing. "I can assure you I know of no clients in the vicinity of Max's school."

" _Good_. Means I can come up with something perfect for _you_."

"For _us_."

"For _us_ ," Alec agrees, nodding. "I just… I think it'll be good."

"It will. Having you all to myself for an entire weekend."

"You have that anyway."

"I know. But away from here."

"Away from everything," Alec says, sighing.

"Am I… missing something?" Magnus asks, knowing from Alec's face that there is more to his idea.

Alec is quiet, though his hand is still squeezing around Magnus' shoulder in reassurance so Magnus isn't worried, echoing Alec's smile when he finally looks at him.

"I just, I know we're seeing Max, but I… it's been a long few weeks. And I know I've got a busy one ahead. And with everything that's been happening, I just… really just want some time with you, away from  _your_ dad, and _my_ parents. Everything. I know your dad's not around now, but—"

"But it would be nice to be away from _here_ , where everything has happened of late," Magnus finishes for him, knowing exactly what Alec means.

"Exactly. That okay?"

Magnus smiles, already picturing the two of them together in a hotel room shutting out the rest of the world. He pulls Alec to a stop, nudging until they are to one side of the sidewalk so they aren't blocking anyone's path.

"It's perfect," Magnus agrees, wrapping his arm around Alec's waist and smiling as he kisses him.

* * *

"How do you feel about us being really, really lazy tonight, and just… ordering room service?" Alec says the moment they step through the door of their hotel room, both of them sighing with relief.

"I don't have a single objection," Magnus replies, holding his hand out as Alec stumbles kicking his shoes off then doing the same.

"I did _not_ think Max would talk so much," Alec adds, already at the small fridge in their room and waving the complimentary bottle of wine that came with the room. "I thought maybe he'd be shy."

"Well. He certainly seems to be enjoying his school," Magnus replies, holding out their glasses for Alec to pour.

"Yeah," Alec says, laughing, "he's still got an answer for everything. I just… I didn't expect him to ask _you_ so many questions."

Magnus smiles as he clinks his glass against Alec's, thinking of the constant stream of conversation he'd had with Max as he'd shown him around the school grounds with Alec looking between the two of them in bewilderment. "He was curious, that's all."

" _Nosey_ , more like."

Magnus smiles again as Alec turns to sink down on the end of the bed, throwing himself back across it with his glass held high so he doesn't spill a drop. He walks across to join him, grabbing Alec's thigh as he sits, smiling for the hand stroked over his back.

"We can see him again tomorrow if you would like to."

"It's fine. I don't think I can deal with another day of interrogation."

"Then. We can sleep late. Have breakfast in bed. Take a lazy walk around that park we saw driving in."

"Sounds perfect," Alec agrees, sitting up again and grabbing Magnus' hand. "You maybe feel like taking a bath?"

"Of course."

Magnus lets Alec tug him to his feet, not letting go of his hand as they make their way to the bathroom, then perching on the edge of the bath as Alec hands him his glass. He watches him run it, pour in far too much foam and laugh about the mess they're probably going to make because of it. Puts down their glasses when directed and is pliant in Alec's hands as he undresses him, willingly doing the same for him.

When the bath is full Alec walks back through to their room to return with their wine bottle then climbs in the tub, guiding Magnus to sit between his legs. They talk of Max, the weeks they've just had, a dinner they have arranged with Catarina and Madzie soon, and enough other things to make the water grow cold. Magnus is comfortable here, even with the water cooling around them, smiling for the kisses pressed repeatedly to his shoulder and neck as they speak, and the squeeze of Alec's arm around his waist. Even in the moments when there isn't a word between them Magnus is content to drop his head back against Alec's and be held.

"This weekend was a good idea," he says when they step out of the bath again and begin to try each other off.

"And it's only Saturday. We don't need to go anywhere until Monday morning."

"Which makes it even more perfect."

Magnus hums as Alec kisses him, their towels discarded to the floor as they press together, and Alec gripping him lightly around the waist. That hum turns to a snort of laughter for Alec walking him backward into their room for the way they stumble, keeping going until they land on the bed.

"Are we drunk?" Alec asks as he tucks his face into Magnus' neck, insinuating his way between his legs.

"We shouldn't be. Not for two glasses of wine."

"Maybe spending the afternoon being _interrogated_ has something to do with it."

"Max wasn't that bad," Magnus replies, though is happy to be silenced by Alec's kisses, and the way he grips around his thighs.

"No offense, Magnus," Alec says as he encourages Magnus to wrap his legs around his waist, "but I don't really want to be thinking about my kid brother right now."

"Then I'll be quiet."

"Oh. There's no need for _that_ ," Alec retorts, stirring his hips, kissing Magnus' answering hum from his mouth.

They begin to move together, Magnus rolling his hips up to meet Alec as best he can then dropping his feet back to the bed so he can move freer. He arches as Alec reaches down between them and takes them in hand, nudging him up just enough so that he can watch, then drops his head back into his pillows as Alec changes his grip.

"That good?"

"Very."

"How about this?" Alec asks as he sweeps his thumb in just the place he knows Magnus likes.

Magnus splays his legs wider in encouragement for more of the same, groaning when Alec moves to trail kisses down his chest before taking him into his mouth. Magnus slots his fingers through the back of his hair as he watches, snorting with laughter when Alec looks up with a triumphant smile.

"What are you looking so pleased with yourself for?"

"Because I get to make you make noises like _that._ "

"Like what?" Magnus teases, though groans out Alec's name for the hard suck that follows, sure he can see Alec smiling around him when he looks down before he's pulling off.

"We made your place echo doing this before you moved in."

Magnus' thoughts take him back to showing Alec around his apartment before he'd moved. They'd arrived with little more than a bottle of champagne and two glasses with the intention of laying out the three rugs he'd ordered, each one christened before they'd left.

"Yes. We did."

"And you accuse _me_ of being loud."

"You are much louder than I am."

"Wanna try proving that?" Alec retorts, pulling away and rolling over on to his back, sweeping a hand down his chest in invitation.

Magnus holds back a comment about loving a challenge, quickly kneeling up and crawling between his legs. "I'll do my best."

"You always do," Alec retorts, watching Magnus pitch over for their lube and condoms in the nightstand drawer. "And if you wanted, we don't need to… if you don't want… you know."

Magnus watches the way Alec plucks at the condom foil before darting his eyes away, and sits back on his heels, feeling slightly out of his depth. "Alexander?"

"We're both, you know. _Okay_ ," Alec says with an embarrassed swallow, reminding Magnus of a stilted conversation between them months earlier about their _health_ , and smiling for it. "So if you don't wanna—"

"Do _you_ want to try this without _this_?" Magnus blurts out waving the foil to get Alec's attention.

"I… want everything with you. Including this— _that_. But only if you do too."

Magnus drops his head on to Alec's chest and groans there, smiling as Alec strokes through his hair. "I just need a minute."

"Magnus—"

"You made my brain stop working for thinking of… you know. _That_."

" _Now_ who doesn't know how to get out their words," Alec teases, smiling up at Magnus as he pitches forward to claim a kiss.

"Me. Definitely me."

Once again Alec's smile is triumphant as he curls his arms around Magnus' neck to keep him where he wants him.

"I want you," Alec whispers when Magnus shifts enough to slick his hand up, parting his knees wider and sighing as he begins to work his fingers into him.

"You have me."

"I know."

"And you look very smug about that," Magnus retorts, giving his own triumphant grin when his fingertips find Alec's prostate and he whimpers for it.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Alec replies when he can, lifting his head enough to watch Magnus' hand and stuttering when he scissors his fingers apart.

Magnus kisses him quiet, working him open until Alec gives an impatient thrust of his hips telling him it's enough. Then crawls between his legs and slicks himself up a little, tapping at Alec's thigh to get his attention.

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure," Alec agrees, and it shouldn't mean as much to Magnus as it does. Or maybe it should, for the moment he slides into him with nothing between them Magnus feels joy, and elation, as well as the usual blissful heat he's used to for being inside Alec.

Magnus drops his head into Alec's neck and holds him tight, concentrating on the feel of Alec squeezing around him and the reassuring weight of his hands sweeping over his back. Feeling this overwhelmed feels _silly_ , though the look on Alec's face when he raises his head says he won't allow such a word.

"Not to make a big deal out of this," Alec says as he rolls up a little beneath him, "but I… I wouldn't want this with anybody else. I wouldn't _trust_ anyone else. And I'm... _yours_. I need you to know that too."

Magnus is lost for words. Though there is one that keeps bouncing around his thoughts that he's desperate to let out, but still can't. So he shows it instead with his kisses, and every time he brushes hair from Alec's forehead. He shows it with every stir of his hips and every one of his caresses, tasting it on Alec's lips every time he gasps.

Alec never looks away from him, showing that same word back to him without saying a thing.

* * *

"It seems weird coming to see you here now."

Magnus startles at the sound of Alec's voice, spinning around from where he'd been sliding a file of paperwork back into the bookshelf behind The Lucky Cat's counter, glancing above the door to realize Dot must have removed the bell.

"Well, hello," Magnus says, smiling, surprised that Alec hasn't come around the counter to greet him. Then wonders if he feels strange about it for this technically being Dot's space now.

"Hey," Alec says, leaning across the counter to kiss him, nuzzling against his cheek before pulling back. "How's it going here?"

"Oh, you know," Magnus says with a dismissive wave of his hand. "It feels strange and familiar at the same time. But I have seen numerous old faces that it was good to catch up with. And Dot keeps the store in excellent condition, so, I can't complain."

"That's good. Where's Dot again?"

"At a herbal fayre. She has some ideas for some new lines of products. It might mean rearranging some of the shelving here if it works out, but, we will see."

"Right," Alec says, nodding and shuffling where he's stood, "well. If that needs to be done then… I'll help."

"Is everything okay?" Magnus asks, because there is something off about Alec. There is a nervousness dancing around his eyes, and his posture is both rigid and hunched over the counter.

"Sure," Alec agrees, though the tone of his voice tells Magnus otherwise. He tells himself not to be paranoid, or worried, and tries to force himself to get back to the few tasks he still wants to do.

"Are we… still on for dinner?"

"Actually, I was… going to invite myself over. To stay," Alec adds, his cheeks lighting up with a hint of blush. "I thought it would be, uh… maybe we could cook something together, or something. If you want. Instead of going out."

"That sounds perfect," Magnus replies, glad the restaurant they were planning on going to this evening isn't one that needs a reservation he now has to cancel. "And you know you are welcome to invite yourself to mine at any time. It isn't as though I don't do the same with you."

"I know," Alec agrees, smiling hard before ducking his head. "I just… wanted to check. I know I'm changing our plans, but—"

"Alexander," Magnus says, pressing his palms against the counter and leaning to kiss him. "An evening at home with you sounds perfect." Alec slots his fingers through Magnus' hair to continue their kiss for a few more seconds then is pulling back and tapping at the counter, absently straightening up Magnus' stack of business cards that are already there. Magnus smiles at the gesture, and tells himself once again to get back to work.

Not that he has all that much to _do_ ; until Alec had arrived, Magnus had been killing time reading through all the notes Dot has made herself as she gets used to working on her own. Really, he's been killing time for hours, and has nothing else important to do at all.

"So," Alec says, "turns out that Roger's been out… sowing his oats."

"I thought he was a house cat?" Magnus asks, half-glancing through Dot's stock inventory and checking his list of products that he needs to stock up on, despite having already done so.

"Steven says he must have got out a couple times. I don't know how, though."

"Steven doesn't have a balcony, right?" Magnus asks, picturing Steven's apartment from the few times he's been there and sure he hasn't seen one.

"Exactly. Unless he's gone out in the hall when Steven's taken trash, or something, I don't know how Roger even _could_ have gone out. Anyway. The point is, Steven came home to a note shoved in his mailbox from one of his neighbors when he'd been working away sometime. Came home to a box of kittens on his doorstep a few weeks later."

"They left kittens in a _box_?" Magnus asks, horrified at the idea.

"They did," Alec agrees, scowling. "They punched a ton of holes in the box so they had air. And the way it was wet in one corner looks like they'd at least left them with water, at least, but, yeah. Just dumped them on Steven's doorstep. He doesn't even know who the neighbor could be."

"Well. What's he going to do?"

"Find homes for them. _Miss_ them. I don't know how he's going to part with them all," Alec adds, smiling. "He's got pretty attached after all these weeks."

"How many does he have?"

"There were six. There's only one he hasn't already found a home for," Alec laughs. "A couple of the guys he works with both claimed one immediately, as did his sister. I think the other one went to a neighbor on his floor."

"That isn't so bad. How is Roger taking to having kittens invading his home?"

"He hates it when you're watching. But Steven said he caught him cleaning them a couple of mornings, and only hissed at them when he realized Steven was watching him do it."

"Of course."

"And I thought," Alec adds, looking shifty, "that… maybe you'd like this little one to come stay with _you_."

Magnus looks up when Alec pats the countertop to get his attention, then watches as he bends, straightening up again with a pet carrier in one hand that he settles gently on the counter. Inside there is a tiny black kitten clambering around exploring, though it comes to a stop when it sees him and just stares back at Magnus with solemn, serious eyes. Magnus is in love already.

 

 

  


"You… got me a kitten?"

"I know you'll have to be careful in your apothecary with this little guy exploring," Alec says, leaning forward and crooning as he looks through the door of the carrier, "but I just… I know how much you said you always wanted a cat."

"Alexander—"

"And before you say anything," Alec adds as he settles on his forearms, "both Steven and Izzy have said they'll happily catsit if we need to go anywhere and leave him behind. Mom too, when she figures out a place to stay."

Magnus is enchanted. By the kitten, by the hope on Alec's face, by the idea Alec has that when they go anywhere, it will be _together_. "And this is… why you were lying to me about not wanting me to go with you to Steven's a few weeks ago?"

Alec screws up his face in embarrassment, nodding. "Yeah. I wanted it to be a surprise. This little guy climbed up my leg when I stayed over, and I just… I thought you'd want him. When he was old enough, obviously."

"Alexander. You are a terrible liar."

"Yeah, I know."

"But for the right reasons," Magnus adds, torn between looking at his new fluffy charge and the beautiful look of excitement on Alec's face.

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

"I _thought_ ," Alec adds as he reaches into his inner jacket pocket, "maybe we can go to that pet store near here on the way back to yours. It's where I got this pet carrier."

Magnus follows the tap of Alec's hand on top of the carrier, then the envelope in his other hand as he slides it across the counter. "What's this?"

"I thought maybe we'd need some stuff. Like… litter, food, toys. Collar. That kind of thing."

Inside the envelope is a card, which when Magnus opens out reveals a gift card along with a receipt for a hundred dollars. "Alec—"

"I've got no idea how much anything costs," Alec says, wrinkling up his face, "but I thought maybe… this would be a start. And they… the guy at the counter was talking about this really great vet that's not too far from yours, and—"

Magnus cuts off Alec's words by pitching forward across the counter and claiming a kiss, echoing his smile. "You're already very invested in this kitten."

" _Our_ kitten," Alec tells him, with the sweetest of smiles. "And, of course I am."

Magnus doesn't think it's possible to be happier. His head is already filled with images of chasing a kitten around his apartment with Alec, and whatever else they do together besides. "Our kitten."

Thursday afternoons are always quiet here in The Lucky Cat. Magnus doesn’t know why he ever kept the place open so late in the past, when his last customer arrived today, just like clockwork, before one o'clock.

Magnus glances at the clock over the door, the eager look on Alec's face, and sends a cursory glance around the store before looking back at him again and smiling. Wrapping his fingers around the handle of the pet carrier and grabbing his jacket from the back of his chair before stepping out from behind the counter.

"Shall we go now?"

* * *

 


	23. Epilogue

"Good morning Jamie," Magnus calls out as he watches him run by on the running track, earning a panted _morning_ back at him and an exhausted wave.

He has to hand it to Jamie, Magnus thinks, sipping at his coffee as he watches the university running club take a final lap. Jamie signed up for the club the moment Alec had put flyers up around the campus, never once missing a session even when he was sick. Magnus is forever amused for the torn expression he gets from Jamie every time Alec is around, his eyes darting guiltily at him whenever Alec is in _those_ shorts.

That Jamie has decided to continue studying here Magnus is pleased about, and full of pride that he'll get to be there at his graduation ceremony—thanks to Alec, of course, whose role as director comes in handy for so many of these things. Magnus laughs as he watches Jamie push harder to catch up with someone further up the field, smiling at the relieved groan he hears as runners cross the finish line just feet from where he's stood. Realizing that someone must be _Desai_ for the way Jamie drapes himself around his shoulders.

"Hey."

Magnus accepts Alec's breathless kiss without comment, first uncapping a bottle of water for him and only handing over his coffee for Alec to take a sip when he's seen him take several gulps. "That was fast."

"I was pretending I was saving a certain person's favorite jacket from Chairman Meow's claws," Alec replies, nodding for Magnus to walk beside him.

"You don't want to stretch out after running?" Magnus asks, smiling for the image Alec has created for him, thinking of their cat who looks so mournful yet goes between mischievous and playful in seconds, whatever look is on his face.

"I will when we're inside. I need the bathroom. Wanna meet me in my office?"

Magnus winks at him earning himself a blushing grin, taking Alec's coffee as he holds it out to him and making his way through the halls. He's walked this route so many times now that he is almost on autopilot, going through a mental checklist of everything he needs to do today. By the time Alec catches up with him, Magnus is perched on the end of his desk, straightening up a picture of the two of them.

"Izzy really does take a beautiful photograph," he says as Alec sinks into his chair and gratefully takes his coffee back.

"Yeah. She does."

"Does she think she will be on time tonight?" Magnus asks, knowing Izzy's schedule has been crazily busy over the past month.

"Yeah. I think so. Helps that _Simon_ is picking her up," Alec adds with both a roll of his eyes and a small smile. "I'd say I can't believe she's bringing him, but—"

"But this is Clary and Jace's rehearsal dinner, and it is up to them who attends," Magnus replies in pretend reproach, before he checks to make sure no one else is in the office and leans in for another kiss.

"Well. I don't think _Jace_ wants him there either. But Izzy—"

"Will kick ass if anyone tries to tell her what to do."

"Something like that," Alec agrees, tugging Magnus closer so that he's stood between his legs. "I just hope everyone behaves."

Magnus hums in answer, having already laid awake with Alec several nights this past month as he's worried about his family. The finalization of his parent's divorce seems like a lifetime ago even if it is getting on for almost a year, yet still taints so much of their lives. The strained relationships between Robert and his elder children have thawed considerably, even if he is still constantly trying to make amends. Though Maryse has not been in the same room as him since that finalization, and this rehearsal dinner will be a first. Magnus understands Alec's concerns completely, and that is before they even get to thinking about _Luke_.

"You know Luke offered not to come?" Alec asks as though reading his mind, tugging for Magnus to sit on the desk. "Said he told Clary he didn't want to make things more awkward, and that she guilt-tripped him for it, because he's the closest thing to her dad?"

"I know Luke had reservations about coming," Magnus replies having also spent a few nights with Luke listening to his own concerns.

"Magnus," Alec says with a hard sigh as he squeezes his hips. "Aren't you—I promise my family isn't this… _dramatic_ all the time."

"No," Magnus replies, smiling, "I am sure that in, oh, perhaps a decade or so, they will be all out of fight. By which time, of course, it will be Max's turn to start more drama."

"Start? More like _continue_. Mom messaged me as I was walking here. Says he's refusing to get out of bed."

Magnus leans forward to tilt up Alec's chin, waiting until he smiles. "How is he enjoying being back here? I know he only arrived yesterday morning, but—"

"Mom says he's been charming all the people in her office. Even one of her clients. Apparently, Max all but invited himself along to their business lunch."

"How did that go?"

"He ate three desserts, then complained he felt sick for the rest of the afternoon," Alec replies, snorting with laughter. "Got spoiled by Mom's colleagues because he's apparently _all grown up_ since they saw him last."

"I am sure he is loving that."

"He is," Alec agrees with a groan. "I mean, the whole thing would have been easier if he'd just agreed to stay at Dad's while Mom was working, but. You know."

"I do," Magnus agrees in sympathy, knowing Max's forgiveness of Robert is nowhere in sight any time soon.

Robert has aged drastically since that final meeting they had with him when Magnus' father was still around. He is alone in the family home with even Izzy moving out—with Clary in tow until the sale on her and Jace's house is completed—into Alec's former apartment. Robert is working constantly trying to rebuild his reputation both professionally and privately. Magnus almost feels sorry for him at times, discreetly leaving Alec and Robert to speak on the rare occasion he comes to theirs for dinner, taking extra long to clean the dishes just to give them a little time.

It is an entirely different story when Alec and Magnus have Maryse over for dinner. The atmosphere is vibrant, and joy-filled, with or without the presence of Luke. Luke keeps trying to reassure Alec that things between him and his mother are slow, and careful, which leads to Alec teasing him so mercilessly that Magnus is left torn between being full of pride for it or wondering if he should intervene. Though mostly he just joins in for the look on Luke's face, happy to get his own back after all these years.

"So," Alec says, glancing at the time and wincing in apology as he stands. "I, uh—"

"Need to shower, then start work," Magnus finishes for him, standing up as well.

"Thanks for the coffee."

"I am the reason you were too late leaving to _have_ coffee," Magnus retorts quietly just in case anyone walks in.

Alec grins for it, quickly sweeping his hand down over Magnus' ass before walking him to the door. "Yeah. It was all your fault. I had nothing to do with it."

"Nothing at all."

Magnus catches Alec's kisses in between his helpless smiles, pressing a hand against his chest before clearing his throat and stepping back.

"See you tonight," Alec says, tangling his fingers through Magnus' before he can get too far.

"You will," Magnus replies as he leaves, his fingers toying with his lips as he makes his way outside.

* * *

Magnus swirls his thumb over the back of Alec's hand in solidarity, nudging against his arm until he looks up. Alec's face is red, and the exasperated sigh he sends in Jace's direction as he finishes his speech is enough to leave Magnus in danger of uncontrollable laughter. Though he doesn't let go of Alec's hand, not for every word from Jace that teases him, and every one that is sentimental and sweet.

Jace even gets a dig in at _Magnus_ welcoming him into the family, making him the definite winner of most troublesome of Alec's brothers. So far Max has only got as far as introducing Magnus as an _apothecenarian_ to some older relatives that Magnus has already forgotten the names of, thinking himself hilarious for his made-up word as he left them awkwardly smiling at one another with no idea what to say. 

They sit through another half-dozen speeches, by which time Magnus couldn't be more thankful that they're starting their meal. He has been rushing here, there, and everywhere across the city today trying to get as much of his work done as possible so he can support Alec throughout this wedding. They already went over his best man speech for the wedding reception tomorrow, and have just about recovered from the bachelor party he helped Alec organize last weekend.

In between holding Alec's hand through embarrassing speeches for the past half hour, Magnus has been begging his stomach not to grumble out loud. There has been barely enough time for coffee today, let alone any actual food. Alec gives him a reproachful look when he all but inhales the first course, sliding his own over to Magnus and staring until he eats that as well.

"I had a lot to do," Magnus protests before Alec can say a word, smiling as Alec squeezes his leg beneath the table, and takes them both another chunk of bread from a shared plate.

"Tomorrow morning."

"What about it?"

"I'm bringing you breakfast in bed. Not just so you _eat_ something," Alec adds, nudging against him and nodding across the table. "As a thank you for putting up with my family."

"According to Jace, they are my family too," Magnus points out, covering Alec's hand with his own.

"True. Still. I'm making you breakfast," Alec says, picking up Magnus' bread and passing it to him.

"Which I will gratefully eat."

"Bacon. Mushrooms. Eggs. That sausage you like so much."

"I love you," Magnus replies, nuzzling it into Alec's shoulder and smiling when he turns.

"It's the bacon. Isn't it," Alec replies with a pursed smile, ruined entirely for the way his eyes are dancing.

"You do make very good bacon. But there are other reasons."

"Oh.  _Thank you_. And I love you too," Alec tells him as he leans in for a kiss.

"Can you just keep your hands off each other for  _five minutes_?" Jace calls out to them, making everyone around them turn to stare or  _titter_. 

Magnus fights back his laughter for Alec's eye roll, and kisses him back willingly anyway when he surges forward despite Jace's words. Alec squeezes his leg again and smiles, before answering a question from an aunt a couple of place settings down.

Alec's family are a strange mix, Magnus thinks as he observes them over dinner, made up of eccentric-looking people with little but disdain in their eyes, and a younger generation that couldn't be more different. _They_ are full of laughter and smiles, funny stories and little anecdotes to accompany all these speeches. Magnus doesn't feel half as out of place in _their_ company as he'd feared, though is very glad that Alec has never left his side.

Clary is radiant, as is to be expected, every part the soon-to-be blushing bride. And the way that Jace's eyes follow her across the room whenever they are apart means Magnus expects to see quite the attentive groom tomorrow. There are whispers at another table about which of them will be the first to cry.

Maryse and Robert have had polite, mumbled words, and it's been difficult to see Luke awkwardly hovering as they do. He's trying to watch over Maryse as he tries to be here for Clary, and clearly has no idea what to do for the best. Mostly though, this rehearsal dinner has been kind to everyone. No disagreements, no last-minute problems, not a thing to ruin the evening at all.

Dinner is delicious, and even more so for everything extra Alec keeps sneaking on to his plate. The cake that follows is incredible, and Magnus has half a mind to ask for a recipe for the frosting. There are more speeches to follow, along with a few announcements for what is happening when throughout the wedding. Towards the end of the night when Max is pretending he isn't tired and keeps disappearing as they try to round him up, Magnus and Alec find themselves at a table with only Maryse. She snags Max's arm when he charges past her and pulls him into his lap, laughing at his disgruntled wriggle for being treated like a baby. But he stops moving after a while, shredding a napkin against the tablecloth as he looks between Magnus and Alec in expectation.

"When are _you_ getting married?"

"Max," Maryse chides, looking mortified, "you shouldn't ask things like that."

"Why not?"

"Because. It's not _polite_."

Alec squeezes Magnus' hand in reassurance and turns a little as he starts to speak.

"Well—"

"How long have you lived together now?" Max demands, staring Alec down with a glare that is so very _Lightwood_.

"Uh… a while."

It _is_ a while, Magnus thinks. Alec had started staying over more when Maryse was at Alec's apartment, and even when she found her own place, he had never really moved back.

"And you have a _cat_ ," Max adds, as though this is the final piece of reasoning for why they should be married already.

"Actually, we have _two_ ," Magnus says, thinking fondly of the black Maneki-neko that used to sit on his counter at The Lucky Cat, and now has a home in his apothecary.

" _Definitely_ time you got married. I want nieces and nephews. That don't have _orange hair_ ," he adds as he leans in with a conspiratorial whisper, nodding at Clary from across the room.

"Max. Leave your brother and Magnus alone."

"But _Mom_ —"

Maryse stands and leads him away sending an apologetic look at both Magnus and Alec, leaving them to watch after they go before standing as well.

"Perhaps we should… say our goodbyes as well," Magnus says as he looks around the room, not sure what he should say.

"Hey," Alec says, pulling him closer and leaning in for a kiss. "It's just _Max_. You know he's just… he always asks us a ton of questions every time he sees us. You know that, right?"

Magnus thinks of the ring box hid under sweaters on a shelf in his side of their closet. The wedding magazines he flicks through wistfully then hides the moment he knows Alec is coming home. The wedding plans he chides himself for making because they are _with_ Alec and yet he's dreaming up flower arrangements and place settings without even _involving_ him. Apart from the important bit, of course, where he stands beside Magnus and promises to love him as long and as hard as he can.

"I do, yes."

"Our kids are definitely not gonna have  _orange hair_ ," Alec adds in a murmur to his ear even as he's smiling sweetly at Clary, and Magnus is doing his best not to laugh.

"No. They won't," he agrees, his stomach fluttering as it always does when Alec mentions a future for them he is so certain about.

"And you know," Alec adds, squeezing Magnus to him before tugging him to his feet. "Madzie is going to make a beautiful flower girl someday."

Magnus thinks of the weekend he has planned away for them, that he's rehearsed words for a hundred times over to get every one of them right. Because proposing to Alec has to be perfect, even if it is imperfect. He has to let him know just what a difference he has made to his life.

"Yes," he says smiling, "she will."

Magnus has long-suspected Alec knows he's planning to propose to him sometime soon, and this comment here from Alec feels like confirmation of that. He almost wants to do it right now, whisk him away from here this minute and do this _right_. Though this is Clary and Jace's occasion, and the time for _them_ isn't now.

"So, you know. Whenever you're ready," Alec tells him, offering up a wink when Magnus turns to look.

"I intend to spend my entire life with you," Magnus settles for saying in reply, smiling as Alec sways him in his arms.

"Well, _good_ ," Alec says before kissing him, and taking his hand to turn him. "Because I'm not going anywhere, ever. Not without you. Ring on my finger or _not_."

Everything is _already_ perfect, Magnus thinks, sure he wouldn't believe this is the life he'd get to live if he'd been asked about it a few years before now. He has work he enjoys, a home he shares, the best of friends, and someone who loves him unconditionally. There is nothing he wants or needs more than that.

Magnus squeezes Alec's hand back, goes as guided as they say their goodbyes. Hides a yawn behind his hand that Alec catches anyway, and smiles for the kiss smacked to his temple.

"C'mon," Alec says, wrapping his arm around him and squeezing, "let's get you home."

 

 

 


End file.
